One In This World
by I've Got Nerve
Summary: Jacob/OC, but pretty much EVERYONE is in it. Crystal Evans was Jake's best friend even before Bella came back to Forks, but Crys hasn't been back to La Push since she was 13. EVERYTHING'S changed since then. Did I mention she's a vampire hunter? Yeah.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so I have nine chapters written so far, but I'm also working on another story, too, so I'm gonna have to split my time between the two.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight Saga or any of the characters you recognize. Since this is mainly a Jacob story, I gonna double disclaim him. I love his character, obviously since I'm taking the time to write about him, but I don't own him. Oh, and I don't own the mythology behind the Vampire Hunter thing. Most of I took from Buffy, but this isn't a crossover. The Buffy series is, however, what inspired my character.

AN: Okay, before you read you should know that this is an OFC character. I felt so bad for Jacob after reading and seeing Eclipse that I had to write this. It's been bugging me forever, this plot bunny has, so I just took a shot at it. Oh, and for the sake of my story...Jacob is eighteen, which makes all the other characters older. By my calculations...Jacob would have been turning 17 the January (I think) after Bella gets married. So in this one he'll be turning 19 instead. So Bella will be 21? I think. Because in New Moon she was 18 when Jake was 16. I think I got that right. Anyway, was just letting you guys know the age difference.

Chapter One

Vampires sucked. And I didn't just mean in the blood-sucking sense of the word.

I'd known about vampires since I was thirteen. Actually, correction: I'd known about vampires my whole life; I hadn't known they were _real_ until I was thirteen. Vampires were considered 'the cold ones' by the Quileute Indians, and my mom had been part Quileute. She'd married outside the tribe and had moved with my dad to Kansas when she'd been twenty. They'd had me when she was twenty-two.

My mom had had straight silky black hair, high cheekbones, and brown eyes. She'd been a mousy type of woman, very timid, very shy. It had taken a long time for my dad to woo her.

My dad had been born in Forks, Washington, a small town near the coast. The town had been about fifteen minutes away from the Quileute Indian reservation in La Push where my mother had grown up. My dad had been…pretty much the total opposite of my mom. He'd been outgoing and sporty. He'd had shaggy blond hair and blue eyes, a round face, pretty smile. And he'd fallen in love with my mom as soon as he'd seen her.

I was a mixture of both. I had naturally dark skin - well, slightly tanned skin, but that was just the Indian in me. I had brown hair that got blond during the summer because of the sun. I got my mom's brown eyes - they were a sort of milk chocolate color. I inherited my dad's smile. I had straight white teeth - sharp, too. My face was round - I had a baby face like my dad had had. An innocent face. Even growing up, I could get away with stuff just by smiling…well. Innocently.

I had a fairly toned body. Not overly defined; I wasn't macho or anything, but I had a dancer's body, only I didn't do a lot of dancing. Unless you consider fighting dancing. Fighting I did a lot of. Fighting was what I'd been born for.

I was human…with a lot of enhancements. I was faster, had better reflexes, better instincts. I was stronger, my skin was pretty unbreakable, and if I got hurt I healed faster than the average human. I was…the Buffy Summers of the real world. Really. I fought vampires. I had since I'd turned thirteen. A vampire killed my family. I'd had to watch while he'd drained my mother and father. I'd killed him for it. I'd known automatically how.

In real life, vampires aren't easily disposed of. Sunlight makes them sparkle; it doesn't hurt them or make them blister like in movies. Holy water is useless. A stake won't penetrate their skin - their skin is like stone and cold as ice. And garlic…well, a vampire would simply think it smelled bad.

In the real world, vampires could only be killed by tearing them apart and burning the pieces. With their skin being stone-like, a normal person wouldn't be able to do it. But I wasn't normal.

It started off as nightmares. Me fighting these pale-human-like creature with crimson eyes. Only it wasn't me. It was me in someone else's body. And I was fighting,, _always_ fighting.

At first I blamed it on my mother. She was always telling the legends of her tribe. The cold ones - vampires - and wolf-people - people who could change into wolf form. Vampires were the natural enemies of the wolf-people.

But when I turned thirteen…everything came crashing down on me. Vampires were real, and it was my job to protect people from them. I'd learned from my dreams that to kill a vampire you had to rip it to pieces, so I did. Starting with the bloodsucker's head.

It hadn't been easy and I had been bitten in the process. For some reason, I hadn't been changed. For some _lucky_ reason. I didn't want to be a vampire. The venom from the bite, though, hurt terribly. It was…extremely painful, like, burning from the inside out painful. I'd passed out from the pain.

After my family had been killed, I'd been shafted from Guardian to Guardian. A Guardian was like a Watcher in the _Buffy_ series. They were made and raised to train…me. Or girls like me. I'd always been stronger, faster, more powerful than other girls my age, and when I'd turned thirteen I'd found out why. There were other girls out there that would take my place if something were to happen to me, but until I died, I was the only one at full power.

Most of the mythology behind the _Buffy_ series had been true. At least the part concerning the Slayer. One girl in all the world with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil blah, blah, blah. I'd been chosen because I was the one the vampires chose to come after. Then once I'd met my first foster parent - read: Guardian - I'd learned that my dreams were sort of like an ancestral memory thing. I was dreaming about the lives of the girl-hunters that had come before me. Learning how to fight and what to expect through their memories, passed on from female to female.

The five years of training hadn't been the happiest of my life. The Guardians weren't supposed to - or perhaps weren't capable of - forming bonds with their student. They were very strict; they were all no nonsense types and it had grated on my nerves. It had gotten old fast. I hadn't rebelled, though, because I hadn't been the type to. I still wasn't. But I had been training constantly for the last five years. It had kept me alive, so I couldn't complain.

The first lesson I'd been taught was that, one day I'd lose, and the vampire would win. All it would take was one vampire and one mistake from me, and I would no longer be here.

As far as I knew, the Guardians - who were vampires themselves - belonged to the Volturi. The Volturi were like vampire kings. They were the ones who carried out the laws of the vampires, which were: Don't let anyone know vampires exist. Since the Guardians belonged to the Volturi…in essence, so did I. And I hated it. The Volturi had no respect for human life, and the Guardians weren't _allowed_ to have respect for human life. In order to do their job, they couldn't let their feelings get in the way, dictate their decisions.

Because I was human…I had a problem with just letting people die, so whenever I met a vampire I killed it. Including my Guardians. If I saw one of them feeding on a human…I would take care of it real quick.

The Volturi had warned me against it at first but then they decided my instincts told me to kill so…and the way I figured…they were in Italy, and if they didn't seek me out, they wouldn't know what I was doing. That was the Guardian's job…report back to the Volturi.

I no longer had a Guardian, though. I was on my own now. I was eighteen - had just turned eighteen. I would no longer age now; I'd reached the age of maturity. I could be killed, yes, but I wouldn't die on my own. I wasn't sure about disease, but so far I'd never been sick. I could, however, be hurt while killing vampires. Speaking of killing vampires, that's what I was doing right now. Or, well, burning one, actually.

I'd just gotten off a plane in Port Angeles, Washington, and I'd seen a vampire lurking in one of the dark alley's outside. I'd followed it and a fight had ensued. Now, I was burning the remains.

To repeat myself: That's how you kill a vampire - you tear them apart and burn the pieces.

I was supposed to be heading to La Push, but no one had been at the airport. They'd maybe been caught in traffic. The reason I was going to La Push was because my mother and I had come here every summer to visit. I also remembered I had loved La Push. And the people had been nice. When my mother and I had visited we had stayed with the Blacks': Billy, Jacob, Rachel, and Rebecca. Billy Black was the dad; Jacob, Rachel, and Rebecca were his children. Rachel and Rebecca were twins. Jacob was the youngest, he was my age. Rachel and Rebecca were two years older than us.

Their mom had died in a car accident when Jacob was young. He couldn't remember her very well, and he didn't like talking about her.

Rachel and Rebecca had been shy, but we'd eventually gotten past the bashful stages and we'd become friends. But it had been Jacob I'd been closest to. He'd been happy-go-lucky, always smiling, always happy. His joy had been contagious and drawn me in like a moth to a flame.

But then after my parents had died we'd sort of lost touch because I'd gone through so many different Guardians. I hadn't been allowed to write or visit anymore. So when I'd called Billy, after five years of no contact, and asked if I could stay with him for a few weeks - I need to get away for a while - it surprised me when he'd said yes almost instantly.

Thinking about the Black's made me realized I should get back inside the terminal just in case they were here looking for me. Once inside I went straight to the ladies' room. I needed to look like I'd just gotten off the plane, not like I'd just fought a vampire. My hair was tangled and my face was flushed from the exertion. My brown eyes were filled with tears that I didn't let spill over. I always got…emotional…after a fight. I didn't really enjoy killing vampires, but I didn't want someone else's family to be destroyed like mine had been. So when I saw a vampire…I killed it. Even though it left me feeling just a little emptier every time I did it.

I situated my loose-fitting clothes - they were a little ruffled. I slid my fingers through my wavy light brown hair. When I was presentable enough I went out to the waiting area where I sat down. I didn't have long to wait before someone was calling my name.

"Crystal?" a deep, husky, attractive voice said from behind me. "Crystal Evans?"

I turned around in my seat and saw…a very tall, very muscular guy. But there was no mistaking who he was, even though he looked different now.

"Jacob." I smiled softly. "Wow. You look different."

The last time I'd seen him - five years ago - he'd had beautiful long black hair, now it was shorter. It was lying flat on his head because it was wet. It was always raining here. His hair reached the top of his eyebrows and it seemed a little shaggy, but it fit him. The last time I'd seen him his face had been round and child-like…there was no childhood roundness left now.

His gaze met mine and a look came across his face. It seemed like something had clicked inside him. But as quickly as the look came, it disappeared.

"Hi," he said.

I didn't really know how to take the way he had looked at me, so I tried to play it off like I hadn't noticed. "It's nice to see you again."

"Yeah, it's been a long time."

I stood up, taking in his appearance. He'd _always_ been adorable to me, but now he was handsome. Extremely so, with his short, thick black hair, and his dark brown eyes, and his smile. I couldn't forget his smile. He had beautiful, almost perfect white teeth. His russet colored skin was a few shades darker than mine, and his height…well…let's just say he was towering over me and I was five-foot-eight. He had me by _at least_ a foot.

"How've you been?" he asked.

"Um…" I laughed shortly. "That's a hard question to answer. And a long story to get into right now. Can you ask that later?"

"Yeah, sure."

I went to pick up my stuff - there were three suitcases and one bag - but Jacob grabbed the bag, which was full of books, and one suitcase. I got the other two.

* * *

When we got to the parking lot I was surprised to find he had an old red Volkswagen Rabbit.

"Where's the truck?" The Black's had had a big old red truck the last time I'd been here.

"We gave it away. My dad's in a wheelchair now so he can't drive. I fixed this up and it's mine now."

"Billy's in a wheelchair and you work on cars?"

"Yup." His lips popped on the 'p'.

I smiled even as I realized I'd missed so much. I didn't know anything of what had happened the last five years. I felt a lump form in my throat and I swallowed against it.

"I wanted so much to come here after…" I never talked about my parents dying, not out loud. No one but me knew that I had seen it happen. Aside from my Guardians, who mostly didn't matter. "But they wouldn't let me. I was put in…foster care. Sent house to house."

"Crys…" His voice was sympathetic and my throat tightened. I wasn't used to concern being directed my way. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too." I shook my head, trying to clear it. "So, how've _you_ been?"

We were in the car now and he turned to me. "Good now that you're here."

I smiled at him. If anyone else had said something like that, I probably would've laughed. But Jacob was so genuine when he said things that I couldn't help but believe him. Not to mention, his answering smile was…breathtaking. It was like his smile was bright and warm. Like the sun. Which was strange yet oddly charming at the same time. I _had_ forgotten how beautiful his smile was.

"I missed you," I said. It was the only think I could think to say for how I felt. "Anyway, where'd you learn to fix cars? I mean, I know how to drive one, but that's about it."

He let out a bark of laughter. "You're such a girl," he teased. "I just started doing it one day and realized I liked it. Things just took off from there."

"Oh. Well, that's cool. It's a nice hobby."

"Yeah. What about you? You have any hobbies?"

"I like to read," I said automatically. "Well, I like to _learn_."

"About?"

I shrugged. "Everything. Anything. I'm a knowledge-seeker."

"Huh." He changed the subject, jolting my train of thought. "How long are you staying?"

"Oh, I don't know. I just needed to get away from my life for a while." I couldn't tell him exactly what I needed to get away from. He'd have me committed if I told him vampires were real. "La Push is the first place I thought of."

"You look like you're about to keel over," Jacob said, amusement and concern lacing his voice. "Rough couple of days, huh?"

"Hm. Rough couple of years," I corrected. "But I am tired." I always got tired after fighting; it drained my strength because I never got into it. When I won I was relieved to be alive but resigned to having to fight the next fight.

"Well, we have an hour drive ahead. You can sleep if you want."

"Nah. I think I want to get reacquainted with the scenery."

* * *

Everything was green here. The trees, the ground, even the light shining through the branches. I had forgotten how beautiful everything was. Well, maybe not forgotten…but I didn't remember correctly. The memory of the beauty was there, it had just distorted over time.

After driving for about an hour - in the rain, of course - we arrived at Jacob's house. We'd driven down a short dirt road and had parked in front of a red house. It wasn't huge, but I remembered how homey it had been. I wondered if it would feel the same now seeing as to how I hadn't been here for a while.

As I got out of the truck I took in the land. The yard was big and it led to the forest on all sides. I'd never really liked the woods unless I was here. I used to go around the woods with Jacob; he'd known his way around.

There was a red garage here, too, that hadn't been here before. Jacob's hobby probably called for it. There was a tiny stream with a small wooden bridge over it. The house itself was mostly the same - red, small, and cozy - except for the ramp that led up to the front door. _That_ was different. Due to Billy being in a wheelchair, I assumed.

"You okay?" Jacob asked, and I realized I was just standing there looking around.

"Yeah," I said, snapping out of it. "Yeah, just, ya know, taking everything in."

We got my stuff from the car and then went in the house. Billy was waiting in the living room and he seemed happy despite his disability.

"Hey, Billy," I said, wondering if I should hug him. "It's good to see you again."

"Yeah, it's been, what, five years?"

"Yeah, but who's counting?" I quipped. I looked around. "Where're Rachel and Rebecca?"

"Rachel's in college - Washington State, full ride. Rebecca got married. She's living in Hawaii now."

"Oh." That pretty much summed it up. "Wow. Okay. I didn't expect that, the marriage thing." I shook my head a little. "Okay, well, I'm tired…so…"

"Right. You should get settled in. Jake'll help you."

"Okay, good."

Jacob showed me to what had been his sisters' room. It was mine now. There were twin beds, a big dresser with six drawers and a closet that I knew was small. Between the beds was a small bedside table that held a lamp and a radio. The room was familiar; I'd shared with the twins when I'd visited with my mother.

"So, did you wanna unpack now? Or we can wait if you want to."

"I think I wanna rest a little, if that's okay."

"Sure, sure," he said, placing the luggage he was holding in the corner of the room. I did the same with my two. "Okay, so…I guess I'll see you later."

* * *

I slept, and while I slept I dreamed. Or, more like remembered.

_I was thirteen, I was at home - my real home - and I was frozen in fear. I saw my mother being drained of blood. My dad had already been torn to pieces and was dead on the linoleum kitchen floor. A vampire was there, mouth at my mom's neck. His eyes were a complete contrast to my dad's. Dad's had been blue and openly friendly. This _killer_ had red eyes._

_I had been forced to watch. After my mom was dead, and only after, did the vampire come after me. Not to kill me, but to tell me he wanted to collect me. He said he was fascinated with me. He'd been watching me for days. Me, this more than human, yet less than vampire thing. He'd been sent by the Volturi. The Volturi were collectors and I would've been a great asset._

_The vampire was in front of me, leaning over me, sniffing my neck, licking me. I was thirteen, scared and shivering. In my dream, I whimpered from fear. I kept saying no over and over again. The vampire had removed the shirt from my shoulder, and now he was biting down, sinking his teeth into the smooth skin and I screamed._

Since it was a dream, I didn't feel anything, but it didn't matter anyway, because at that moment my eyes flew open and I drew in a deep, sharp breath. I grabbed at my shoulder, knowing that if I removed my clothing there would be a scar there. A scar that would match the teeth marks of the monster that had bitten me.

A vampire's venomous teeth was the only thing as of yet that I'd found that could scar me. The vampire that had killed my parents was the only vampire that had gotten close enough to leave a scar. I still had dreams a lot, though they didn't affect me as much. I didn't scream from them anymore. I did, however, cry. Sometimes. Okay, _all_ the time. Like now.

I wiped the tears away angrily. I hated that something that had happened five years ago could still get to me so much. I swallowed convulsively and got up, dug through my stuff to find my brush and ran it through my hair.

After I got myself together, I went outside to the living room where Billy and Jacob were on the couch. A baseball game was on; Billy's favorite past time was watching baseball. Or sports of any kind, actually.

Jacob was shirtless and…my God, did he have an eight pack? Was that even possible? He was…buff. Not unattractively so. He was very attractive, actually. With his russet skin and his brown eyes, and the body of a god? Yeah, definitely attractive. His…muscles had muscles.

That's when I realized I was staring, so I shook my head and went to sit beside them on the couch. I realized something else then. Jacob was hot. Like, burning with a fever _hot_.

"Are you okay?" I asked, concern lacing my voice. Heat was just radiating from his body and that couldn't be healthy.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" He shrugged. "Are _you_ okay? Feeling better, I mean?"

There was a sort of fierce concern in his voice that I didn't understand, but for whatever reason, I liked it. I wasn't used to someone actually caring about me. I usually had to care about myself.

"Yeah. Sleeping really helps when you're tired."

"There's spaghetti in the fridge if you want some," Billy said, glancing at me.

I grinned. "You still using Ragu as your old family recipe?"

Jacob laughed loudly and I found myself joining in. His laugh had always been contagious.

"You remember that?" he asked.

"Definitely." I curled my feet under me on the sofa. "I'll eat some later. I'm not all that hungry right now."

* * *

The rest of the night went by uneventfully…for the most part, anyway. I went to bed without eating - something I was known for - and so, when I woke up in the middle of the night, shivering and nauseas, I wasn't surprised. My stomach was in cramps; hunger pains. I hadn't eaten anything in a long time, and I'd lost a lot of weight, too, because I'd been on the go almost the whole time.

I didn't starve myself, but I just didn't get hungry a lot. The first Guardian I'd been sent to train with skipped meals if you didn't do everything exactly right. Hunger was a great motivator. My stomach had trained itself to expect as little food as possible. So I didn't eat until my stomach let me know I was hungry.

I got up, kicking the covers off myself. The cold didn't really bother me, but the Blacks' didn't know that, so I had to keep up appearances. _That_ was the only reason I'd thought I shouldn't come here. I was so different from normal people. I was human…but different. Surely they would figure it out.

I had pajama pants on and a blue overnight shirt. They were loose, but they covered everything. Especially the scar on my shoulder. I wouldn't be able to explain the suspicious looking bite marks. I snuck out of my room quietly - I wanted food - and went to the kitchen. I hoped once I ate my stomach would feel better.

I saw that Jacob was still up, watching TV, the light flickering in the dark. The sound wasn't up all that loud and the only reason I could hear it was because of my better-than-human hearing. All my senses were better than a normal human's. I wondered how Jacob could hear.

When he saw I was in the kitchen he got up from the couch and came in the room. Jacob looked alert, which was weird since it was late. Or…early, depending on how you looked at it.

"What're you doing up?" he asked quietly, so as not to wake Billy up. His room was right by the kitchen.

I looked at the clock on the stove; the little green numbers read 3:10.

"I was hungry," I said, remembering his question. "Didn't eat earlier."

"I noticed that," Jacob said, going to a cabinet and grabbing two bowls. "Spaghetti?"

I smiled. "Yeah. What were _you_ doing up?"

He shrugged gracefully. "Just watching TV."

"What's on?"

"Not sure, actually," Jacob said sheepishly. "I wasn't paying attention. Some monster movie, I think. You can change it if you want."

He got the leftover dinner out of the refrigerator and put some of the sauce and noodles in a bowl and put the bowl in the microwave. I watched when the light came on and the bowl rotated.

Then my eyes fell on Jacob. He was still shirtless. I couldn't get used to how built he was. He'd always been sort of beautiful to me, but now he was even more so. Then there were his shorts - they hung low on his hips. I could see his boxers and then his jeans were about an inch below. The sharp angles of his hipbones drew my attention. Lord help me, but he was attractive now.

I forced my gaze upward, glad he didn't seem to notice my scrutiny. That would've been embarrassing.

"So" - I cleared my throat - "how is everyone? Quil? Embry?" They lived on the reservation, too. Jacob had befriended them at an early age and they'd become inseparable.

"They're good. They grew, too." Jacob smiled. "They wanna see you."

I grimaced slightly. Was I ready to see everyone yet? I wasn't sure. What if the good-to-see-you thing became the awkward silence thing?

Jacob saw my expression and frowned. "I can tell them to wait until you're settled in first."

"Yeah." I nodded gratefully. "Do that."

"Okay." He grinned easily. The white of his teeth contrasted beautifully with his russet skin. "Whatever you want."

* * *

Jacob and I stayed up until five-thirty that morning. We watched _The Monster Squad_, an old movie about kids who saved the world from monsters. Dracula was in it along with the Wolf-man, a mummy, the creature from the Black Lagoon, and the Monster from _Frankenstein_.

"Hey, Jacob?" I asked during the movie. "Do you think, if vampires were real that they'd have fangs?" I spoke with a casual tone, but he answered seriously.

"No, I think they'd just have really sharp teeth."

Hm. True.

"What about the wolf guy?" Jacob asked. "You think he goes around wearing pants?"

I laughed. "Sure, when he's human." I sighed. "I kinda feel sorry for him. And the monster from _Frankenstein_."

Jacob quirked an eyebrow in confusion. "Why?"

"Well, in the movie, it doesn't say where the wolf-dude came from, but he doesn't wanna hurt anyone. Ya know? He asks the cops to lock him up, but they won't listen. Something happened that wasn't his fault. And then the monster…I mean, come on…the mad scientist uses body parts - from different bodies - to make a person. A _live_ person. The scientist made him live and then because he was ugly - which, duh, because he's sewn together with body parts - the scientist called him a monster. There's only so many times you can be called a monster before you become one."

Jacob was looking at me, grinning openly. "You talk a lot when you're passionate about something." He cocked his head to the side and he oddly reminded me of a puppy. "And…you're passionate about…monsters?"

"No. I'm passionate about monsters who try not to be monsters. Who want to be good, even though it's against their nature to be. And the monster wasn't a monster until he was treated like one. All he wanted was to be loved."

Over the last five years I'd almost forgotten what it was like to be loved. It had been hard enough to gain the approval of my Guardians, let alone their affection. Granted, I hadn't wanted their approval or love.

The only one of my Guardians that I'd grown to care about was Michael. He'd learned to _love_ me, which had been weird for me and him. He'd been my third Guardian - I'd killed the first two.

When the Volturi had sent Michael, he'd been just like them. No respect for human life. And then, for some reason that was beyond me, Michael started caring for me. He stopped feeding from humans because I asked him to. It had been hard, but he'd done it. For me.

The same love that made him loyal to me also made his job as Guardian harder. It was more difficult to tell me to go out and kill a vampire if he actually cared if I came back alive.

Every year, the Volturi would send Demitri - a vampire tracker - to give me and my Guardian a review. The year Michael had been with me had been better than the other four. But after the review, the Volturi had sent Michael away and I'd gotten a new Guardian. A mean one. I'd killed that one, too.

The Volturi had appreciated my drive and enthusiasm. Their _enthusiasm_ was what I called 'necessity'. I didn't have a choice but to fight. The vampires they sent weren't hard to kill, anyway.

I shook my head and blushed when I realized Jacob was still looking at me. It wasn't a you're-crazy kind of expression. It was more a…you're-kind-of-amazing expression. I didn't understand the reasoning behind it, but I didn't mind it.

I looked down at the carpet-covered floor, trying to hide the smile fighting to break across my face. I blushed again when I realized I'd probably made a fool of myself with my speech.

"Sorry," I sad sheepishly. "But when I'm passionate about something I _do_ talk about it a lot. Like you said."

"Don't apologize. You wanna talk, I'll listen."

"O…kay," I said uncertainly.

"I mean it," Jacob said. "Really."

I nodded, my smile brightening. "Okay, okay."

* * *

The next day I lounged in my room until around noon. I realized I was being a bad guest, so I left the confines of my room. Jacob was in the kitchen eating cereal; Billy was in the kitchen, too, standing in a bathrobe. I hadn't known he could stand at all, so it surprised me.

"Sleep well?" Jacob's warm, genuine, sincere voice asked.

"Yeah, when I actually went to sleep," I said lightly. I took in the size of Jacob's cereal bowl; it was three times the size of a normal one. "Not hungry, are you?"

"Hey, I'm a growing man. I need food."

"If you say so," I said, chuckling as I sat down. "So, what are you doing today?"

"I don't know. You're the guest. You pick."

"Oh, um…well…I still haven't unpacked yet, so…" I looked at the table. "But you don't have to stick around just for me."

"Don't be silly, Crys. You just got back. I wanna spend a few days getting to know you again."

I bit my lip, blushing. Only Jacob could make me do that. Even when we'd been younger he'd been able to do that. _Only_ him. No one else affected me the way he did.

"Okay, well, then we can get started after you eat."

"Aren't you gonna eat anything?"

"Not hungry."

"You look starved," he said honestly.

"I do not. You're just abnormally huge," I joked.

"No, you really are thin," Billy said, agreeing with his son. "You should eat something."

"Okay, fine," I said admitting defeat. "I'll eat something."

"So, how long are you planning on staying?" Billy asked as I got up to get a bowl.

"I'm not sure, exactly," I said. "I…don't really have anywhere else to go," I finished vulnerably.

"Well, you can stay here as long as you want," Billy offered sincerely.

"Thank you," I replied gratefully.

Billy nodded and we then continued eating in companionable silence.

* * *

"So, yesterday you said you needed to get away from your life," Jacob said. "Why?"

He and I were in the room I was calling mine. We were using two of the drawers from the dresser for a bookcase.

Getting to his question, I shrugged. "I don't know. Just…my life has changed since the last time I saw you."

I wondered, if I were to tell him what I was really running from what his reaction would be. But it didn't matter because I could never tell Jacob. It was an innocence you could never get back, finding out what goes bump in the night.

Jacob seemed to want further explanation, so I went on.

"My life - for the past five years, anyway - has felt like it's just been…one fight after another. And I needed a break." I sighed, placing a book in the drawer. "I've just been so…lost…since -" I cut myself off. I knew he knew I'd meant my parents dying, so I didn't say it out loud. "Anyway, I wanted to try and find myself again, and so here I am."

When I said I felt like I'd lost myself I meant that before my parents death I'd been happy and since then I'd sort of shut myself off. It was easier to kill vampires when I didn't feel anything. I'd become a monster who killed other monsters. Ironic, right?

And honestly, _why_ was I telling him this? It would only lead to further questions. But it was like after I started I couldn't stop, and it was _okay_ to tell him this because he was Jacob. But that didn't make sense because I hadn't seen Jacob for five years.

Then again, things were the same between me and him as they had been the last time I'd been here. Easy and comfortable. Even though I caught myself staring at him now.

Jacob had stopped putting books in the drawer.

"Well, you don't have to fight anymore. Not while you're here. You can have fun."

Fun was a weird concept for me. It hadn't been _before_ but it was now.

"While you're here you don't have to worry about anything."

I bit my lip, wincing when my teeth sank in and tore the skin away. But then I smiled a little his way.

"Are you sure? I don't wanna be any trouble."

I reached for a book and Jacob caught my hand in his. His skin was hot - like, burning up - but it was nice, and I didn't mention it. When he realized I was focusing on our joined hands, he froze. Maybe he was wondering if I was going to pull away. Part of me wanted to pull away - the rational part of me. The other wholly female part of me was enjoying being comforted my the big, handsome, russet-skinned male helping me put my room together.

I smiled tentatively in his direction to let him know it was okay, he hadn't crossed a line. He was just being nice, telling me I wasn't any trouble. Besides…we'd held hands all the time when we were younger. Things didn't have to be different now just because we were older.

* * *

Okay, so...do you like it? Hate it? Indifferent? I know most people don't like Original Characters, but I do. You can just play around with them more if they're original than if they're the ones from the book. Second thing...do I have everyone in character? Let me know what you guys think, please? Granted, I'm gonna write it anyway, but I probably won't post it, if I don't think people like it.


	2. Chapter 2

Picking up from the last chapter - well, first chapter.

Anyway...I forgot to mention in the first chapter that this starts off pretty much right after the newborn fight in Eclipse. Only instead of running away, Jacob sticks around because he knows Crystal is coming to stay with them for a while. And, also...I'm thinking almost all the main characters will be in this at one point or another.

Again...I don't own the Twilight Saga. That honor belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I wish I had dreams like hers. Mine are usually pretty boring. LOL. And also I don't own the mythology behind the Buffy series. Even though this isn't a crossover, I thought I should mention that since I am using the same basic concept.

I do, however, own the characters you don't recognize. Now, enjoy!

Oh, and I forgot to mention I DO allow anonymous reviews, so if you don't have an account you can still review if you want.

Chapter Two

Jacob and I got done with the books and I moved on to the clothes. Jacob stayed in the small room with me, letting me put my clothes wherever I wanted.

He'd commented on my number of books and it made me think about why I loved books. When you had no social life, the only other thing to do was get immersed in books. Unless you wanted trouble, which I didn't. I'd had more than my fair share of trouble, already.

He'd noticed the worn covers of the books and wondered how many times I'd read them.

I shrugged. "I don't know. A lot. I would visit the library every time I switched houses, switched towns" - switched Guardians - "I'd own more books now, only…" I trailed off, biting my lip.

"What?" Jacob asked.

I shook my head. "I haven't had a lot of time to read lately. Or relax at all, actually. I got switched each year. After the third time I just stopped…caring so much."

"You were switched each year?" Jacob's voice was soft, curious, and concerned.

"Yeah. Anyway, as pathetic as it sounds, the library was like a home to me. Wherever I went, whenever things were bad, that's where I'd go. Sometimes it was better being alone." My bottom lip found its way to my teeth again. "The last…family…I was with, we fought a lot." I laughed bitterly at the memories. "We couldn't stand each other. He didn't like the way I did things, I didn't like the way he did things. So eventually I left, and now I'm here."

This was one of those things I didn't think I'd be able to talk to anyone about, yet it felt okay to talk to Jacob about it. I had to edit and omit some parts, of course, but I could still talk to him.

"The guy could get pretty violent when he wanted to. The least little thing could set him off."

"He hurt you?" Jacob asked tensely. His face had hardened and his shoulders had stiffened.

I shook my head. "Wasn't for lack of trying, though." The guy - vampire - just hadn't been able to. I'd had quicker reflexes.

My last comment seemed to have upset Jacob; he was shaking now. Was it the anger making him do that? His fists were clenched, so it probably _was_ the anger.

"Um…are you okay?" I asked, concerned. "I didn't mean to upset you. We can talk about something else."

Jacob stopped shaking almost immediately.

"No, it's okay. It's just I hate what you've been through."

"Oh." I couldn't think of anything to say other than that, so I went back to putting my clothes away.

* * *

As days passed, I realized that I could be completely comfortable here with Jacob and his dad. Jacob wasn't around much, though. Billy said he had a job. Jacob and a pack of his friends worked with Sam Uley.

I didn't really remember Sam all that much. I just knew he was older than Jacob and myself. I wondered what Jacob and his friends did with Sam, but I never asked. Sometimes I heard Jacob leaving in the middle of the night and coming in the next morning, after which he'd sleep half the day away. I hoped Billy was telling the truth about the job…I hoped it wasn't drugs or anything like that. But Jacob didn't seem like he was on drugs, and just because he went out at night didn't mean he was doing something wrong.

Jacob was having one of those days where he was sleeping, so I asked Billy if I could use Jacob's Rabbit to go to Port Angeles. I hadn't been here in a while, but I was sure there had to be a bookstore somewhere. Billy said he was sure Jacob wouldn't mind me using the car, so I took off. It wasn't raining today, but it wasn't sunny either. I had a blue jean jacket on that sort of swallowed me whole because it was Jacob's. I didn't care; it was comfortable.

The only bookstore I found was a new age one, but that was okay. Besides, finding a book wasn't the most important thing that happened that day. Finding a vampire…well, _that_ was important. What was even more important was that I knew this vampire. His name was Michael - the Guardian whom I'd grown to care about.

Michael didn't feast on people any more than I did but his eyes were black today. He was thirsty…so why was he out and about with people? That wasn't very smart. He could lose control or something.

"Michael?" I asked cautiously. "Is that you?"

He'd probably heard me coming with his vampire hearing. "Crystal Evans." It wasn't a question. His musical voice was the same as I remembered. His appearance hadn't changed, of course, but I took it in, anyway.

His perfect face was pale and his lips were pink and thin. Thin but not unattractively so. His shoulders were broad and his arms were well-defined. I knew his muscle build, though I couldn't see it today. He had on a black leather jacket - the kind bikers used - a black shirt, blue jeans, and biker boots. His hair was so dark it was almost black and was long enough to cover his eyes and reach his shoulders.

His nose crinkled up like he smelled something bad. "Ew, what sewer did you crawl out of?" his familiar voice questioned. He didn't say it in a mean way; he said it like he genuinely wanted to know.

I ignored the question, not understanding it. I didn't smell like a sewer. If I did, I'd know. My sense of smell was just as good as a vampire's.

"What're you doing here?" I asked.

"I live here in Port Angeles," he said. "I have an apartment close by. I've been here since I left. But, really, Crystal…you sorta stink."

"I do not," I said, slightly offended. "I smell like I usually do."

"No, you usually smell nice. Now you smell like a dog. A _wet_ dog."

I shrugged. "Well, I don't own a dog, so…I don't know what it is you're smelling, but it's not me."

He grabbed me and drew me to him gently. "Yes, it is." He sniffed his fill, and I stood as still as possible. It didn't bother me, him being this close. He'd never really understood the concept of personal space, so I'd gotten used to it. But also I knew if I moved it would make whatever he was smelling stronger.

"The scent is all over you. What have you been doing?"

"Mostly sleeping," I said.

Michael looked like he just realized something. "What're _you _doing here?"

I smiled. "I moved to La Push a few days ago."

"La Push?" Michael's voice was guarded. "The reservation?"

"Yeah. My mom and I used to go there every summer before…" Michael's hands tightened on my arms, making me wince. "Ow."

"Sorry." He let go of me immediately. "_That_ explains the smell."

"The wet dog smell?" I asked, eyes widening. How did me living in La Push explain the smell?

"Yeah. Do you like it there?" Michael's voice was curious but still guarded.

"Yeah, I've always loved it there. I'm living with this family - a father and son. They're very hospitable."

His lips moved back to reveal his shiny, white, threatening teeth. He was smiling, but it seemed forced. "I bet they are." He shook his head. "Do they know about you? What you are?"

I grimaced and shook my head. "No."

Michael nodded and his mood shifted. "So, what have you been up to?"

"Um…killing vampires," I said. "Only the bad ones."

Disapproval clouded his face. "By yourself? That's dangerous, Crystal."

I shrugged. "I can handle myself. Besides, the only Guardian that fought with me was you."

He shook his head. "You were always independent, anyway."

I smiled. Books forgotten, I realized it was getting late. "Anyway, I need to go. If I don't get back, the Blacks' might just send out a search party."

"Yeah, okay."

Before I could even go around him to the doors, he embraced me into a tight hug. "Be careful. You don't want to draw unnecessary attention to yourself. You know what the Volturi would do if they knew you were decreasing the vampire population needlessly."

I nodded, returning his embrace. "You should hunt soon," I whispered so only he would hear. "Your eyes are black."

"Was planning on going to Forks tonight. Get a deer or something."

I looked outside. It was getting darker. Not that that mattered. He could see just as well at night as he could during the day.

"Well, it'll be dark soon. I can give you a ride." Even though he could run faster than I drove. "You could spend more time with me that way."

"Fine." He gave in easily, like he'd wanted me to offer that anyway.

* * *

In the car, Michael didn't say much, he just sat there unmoving and staring out the window.

"You okay?" I asked softly, keeping my eyes on the road. "You don't usually keep quiet."

"Are you saying I talk too much?" he asked jokingly.

I could see he was only talking because I asked if he was okay. Then a strange look came over his face.

"What?"

"Nothing. You're just gonna have to drop me off near the forest in Forks. I'm not going to La Push."

"There's a bunch of forest in La Push, too," I said.

Michael shook his head. "I can't go on their land."

"Can't? Why?" I asked. "Do they know what you are?" We were already in Forks, that's why I was asking.

"Some of them do. The Quileutes have a treaty with a vampire family in Forks. As long as they stay off the Quileutes land…the vampires will be safe."

We were near the forest's edge, on the border between Forks and La Push. I stopped the car on the side of the road. We both got out, and I went to his side, hugging him firmly.

"Maybe I can come see you sometime?"

"I don't think your new friends would appreciate that." He wrapped his arms around me, too, the way an uncle would a niece. "You should go. Like you said, they might send out a search party." Suddenly, Michael stiffened and stepped in front of me protectively. "Or maybe they already have."

"What?"

"Don't move," Michael hissed, and if I had been normal, I wouldn't have heard him. "Don't move at all."

Michael stared off into the green trees and I glanced in that general direction. I gasped at what I saw. A wolf. A bigger wolf than I knew existed. Way bigger. Like, horse-sized, maybe bigger. Definitely wider. The wolf was a russet type of color - it reminded me of Jacob's skin, oddly enough - and the animal was growling - snarling - at Michael.

I'd read that dogs would sense other-worldly things, and wolves were part of the canine family, so maybe they could, too.

Michael let me go, but he stayed in front of me. He seemed scared of the wolf. This had to be a special wolf - which, duh, because if was huge - because I'd never seen Michael scared of anything. He hadn't even been scared of the Volturi.

The wolf stalked toward Michael. Had the hunter become the hunted? Instead of fighting Michael turned to me. "I have to go. The wolf won't hurt _you_."

Michael side-stepped the wolf, and the wolf let him pass, never taking it's dark eyes off the vampire. When Michael ran off into the woods, the wolf turned to me. It wasn't growling or snarling anymore. Maybe Michael had been right and it didn't mean me any harm. I hoped that was the case, because I didn't want to have to hurt the animal.

It moved to me, lowering down to nudge my arm with its nose. A nose that should've been cold, but it wasn't. That was…odd. It wasn't even wet.

I hesitantly patted its head once, noting how soft the fur was, and it leaned into my touch. I leaned back against the car and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I slid down and my butt hit the ground hard, but I barely felt it. The wolf surprised me by laying its head on my lap. The wolf was warm, and my fingers worked slowly across its back. I noticed the fur got rougher the further I reached.

I wondered if the wolf had been following me this whole time. Maybe that was why I'd smelled like a wet dog to Michael. Whatever the case was, the wolf didn't seem to want to hurt me. It seemed protective of me. I had a guardian-animal, a warrior-wolf.

Suddenly, the wolf's ears perked up and it's head lifted off my lap. It stood up slowly to its full height - which I was just beginning to notice - and began walking to the opening in the woods it'd come through.

"W-wait," I said, and as if the animal actually understood me…it turned back to me before starting to leave again. I understood why after about three seconds. A car was coming. The wolf was leaving so it wouldn't be seen. That meant it was capable of coherent thought.

Something began nagging at the back of my head. Something that I should've remembered, but didn't. It was like the thought was there, but I couldn't bring it to the front of my mind.

I picked myself up off the ground, wondering if I should go after the wolf. Then I realized that I couldn't because Billy and Jacob would be worried if I didn't get back soon.

* * *

When I got to the house, Jacob was waiting outside. I laughed to myself once because I'd _known_ he'd be waiting.

"Jacob," I said, walking toward him, a smile on my face.

Jacob came off the porch and reached me in a few long, confident strides.

"Have you been in Port Angeles all this time?"

I didn't nod or shake my head. "It took a while. I, uh…really love books."

"Oh. Okay."

"Yeah…um…"

My mind went back to my furry friend, so I shook my head and focused on Jacob. He was shirtless again, although he was always shirtless now. I had recently noticed that he had a tattoo on his right shoulder. It was an intricate design, and at first glance it didn't seem to actually make anything, but now I saw it was an animal head. A wolf head.

"Oh, um…sorry about using your car without asking. Billy said you wouldn't mind."

"Oh, I don't. Feel free."

"Okay, good." I bit my lip, nervous. "Hey, Jacob…are there wolves around here? Do you know?"

"Yeah, there are. Why?" He was fighting back a grin, and I wondered why. Did he know something I didn't know.

"I saw one, but…" I shrugged. "Never mind."

I hoped Michael was okay. And I wondered how the wolf that had let him pass had understood me. Or had I been imagining things?

My stomach growled at that moment and I smiled sheepishly. It had been loud so I knew Jacob had heard it.

"Sorry. I haven't eaten since last night."

Jacob and I started walking side-by-side to the front door. It was weird because people tended to avoid me. Like a regular vampire, people _knew_ there was something unnatural about me. It made them steer clear, for the most part. But Jacob was different. He didn't seem to care that I was weird. Or maybe he just didn't notice.

"We had pizza. Leftover's are in the fridge," he said. "By the way…do you always starve yourself?"

"No," I said, glaring playfully. "And I don't starve myself. Sometimes I just forget to…eat."

"How do you forget food?" Jacob asked incredulously. "Shouldn't your hunger pains remind you that you're hungry?" Jacob was saying all of this lightly, but I could tell he was really concerned that I did starve myself on a regular basis.

"I promise I _do_ know how to care for myself." We walked into the house, Jacob letting me in first. "It's just…I got used to not eating a lot. My stomach grew accustomed to it. I don't get hungry often."

Jacob had a sympathetic look on his face, and I had to laugh to keep from crying.

"What?"

I shook my head. "Nothing."

He grabbed my wrist gently. "What?"

We were facing each other now, and we were in the mouth of the kitchen. He was staring at me intensely. I wasn't sure I liked it, but I didn't not like it, either.

"I'm just" - getting ready to tell him the truth - "I'm not used to people caring. Or wanting to help. It's… odd to me."

"Oh." He smiled slightly, and his thumb began playing over my pulse point. "Well, you better get used to it."

"Yeah?" I twisted my wrist gently out of his grasp. "That's what I'm scared of."

"Scared of people caring about you?"

"And scared of caring about people," I added. "I've been close to exactly one person in the last five years. And he had to leave."

Speaking of being close, Jacob was too close for comfort, so I took a few steps away.

"When you say 'close'…" Jacob began, waiting for me to finish.

"I mean…he loved me, still does. I love him. I mean, it wasn't romantic or anything. More like a dad and daughter or an uncle and a niece. When I met him something changed in him. He started going through some rough times. I was there the whole time, gentle and sympathetic."

"Rough times?"

"Yeah." I walked to the fridge and took out a slice of pizza. "He had…a drinking problem and he stopped for me. Because I asked him to."

Proud of my edited summary, I took a large bite of pizza and began savoring the cheese and sausage taste.

* * *

Two hours later, I found myself dreaming. It was the same recurring dream I always had. The one where I relived my parents murder and saw their murderer. I hated this dream. Sometimes I wished vampires had the ability to take away memories, because then maybe I'd have _some_ semblance of peace, and then I wouldn't feel the need for vengeance.

When my memory came to the part where I got bitten I bolted upright. This was the part when I woke up every time. And just like every other time…my hand flew to my shoulder where I knew the scar from the bite was. A scar that would be just a few degrees cooler than the rest of my skin.

It took me a moment to become aware of my surroundings. I was in the living room of Jacob's house on the couch, curled up underneath a warm blanket. Billy was in his chair beside the couch, watching a game. Or he _had_ been watching a game; now his eyes were on me.

"Bad dream?" he asked, curious and concerned.

"Yeah. But I'm okay."

"Yeah?" Billy wasn't convinced. "You…have dreams like that a lot?"

I swallowed around a sob that tried to make its way past my throat. "Yeah, actually. I do. I'm used to them. Don't worry about it." I sighed, standing up. "Where's Jacob?"

"Um, he had to work."

"Oh. He works a lot, huh?"

Billy smiled kindly. "Not always. But when something's wrong they call Jake in. He's very good at what he does."

"Hm." I shook my head, wondering what exactly it was that Jacob did. "Well, I hope they pay him serious overtime." I went to look out the window; it wasn't raining. "I'm gonna go outside. I'll be back later."

"It's dark outside."

I smiled his way. "The dark doesn't really bother me. Neither does the cold."

"Okay. Be careful."

"Uh-huh."

I slipped on the jean jacket I'd been wearing before and stepped outside. I was going to take a walk. I would stick to the dirt roads, though, because I didn't want to go in the woods alone. The walk wasn't a long one. I just had to get some air, and be alone so I could pull myself together. I hated the dreams. They _always_ got to me even though I didn't want them to.

On the way down the road I kept hearing rustling in the trees, but it didn't sound threatening, so I ignored it. And then on the way back I heard it, too. If the wind had been blowing, I wouldn't have paid any attention to the noise, but the wind wasn't blowing, so I _did_ notice. There were woods on both sides of me, but the noise was coming from the right. I didn't see anything there so I kept walking.

When I made it back to the Blacks' house I sat on the front porch. That was mostly because I didn't want to go back in too soon. I got so immersed in my thoughts - my memories - that I didn't even notice anything else. By 'anything else' I mean the humongous wolf hovering over me. I didn't know it was there until I felt its breath on me, blowing my hair slightly.

I looked up slowly and let out a small shaky gasp. This was the wolf that had appeared earlier. Was it…following me? Duh! How else would it know where to find me?

"What're you doing here?" I asked out loud as it came onto the porch and laid beside me, curling up near my legs. Heat radiated off of it, warming me almost completely. I buried my hand in its fur and massaged gently against its back. A contented growl filled the air. It was a 'that feels good' growl. And it was more a rumble than a growl.

"So…you're following me. I have a massive stalker wolf, which should scare me, but it doesn't."

The wolf tilted its head, almost curiously, almost as if it were asking 'why?'.

"You're not trying to kill me, so that's a start." I huffed out a laugh. "And I'm talking to an animal now. I'm going nuts."

That didn't stop me from continuing to pet up and down the wolf's back. It was comforting in an odd sort of way. It was familiar - even though it shouldn't have been - and soothing and _right_. It was weird, but I didn't care. I was at peace for the first time in a long time. Inside, my heart felt warm and restful, and I had to smile at the foreign feeling. It was nice. _New_, but nice. I knew I would never get tired of this feeling.

* * *

I stayed outside with my wolf for another hour. We'd moved to the side of the house so we'd be out of the way of prying eyes. The side of the house faced the woods instead of the road. When I realized how long I'd spent just petting my wolf, I sighed.

"I gotta go now," I said, rubbing him - I'd found out my stalker wolf was a he - one last time. "I live with a couple of guys and if I stay out much longer at least one of them will freak."

If Jacob was even back yet.

A huff of breath came from the wolf and I stared at him

"Did you just laugh?" It had definitely sounded like a laugh. "You did, didn't you?" I didn't get an answer, of course, but I wasn't so far gone that I expected one, either. "Well…I guess I'll see you later."

The wolf, understanding my words, got up and trotted back to the woods where I assumed he had come from.

* * *

The next day, Jacob and I were in the garage, waiting. I'd told Jacob I might be ready to meet some people, so he'd invited Quil and Embry over since I already knew them. I just hadn't seen them in a while. He was slowly introducing me to his friends and into his life.

We were sitting on a seat that looked like it had been removed from the back of a car. I didn't notice much else except that Jacob's red Rabbit was in the garage with us. I was shivering from nerves. It had just hit me fully that I was starting a new life here, leaving my past life behind me, and I didn't know if I'd be able to do it. I hadn't been allowed to get too close to people when I'd been doing my job…my duty, my calling. Humans - normal humans - couldn't know about the other world. The world of vampires. If a human found out, it was an immediate death sentence, pretty much. Especially if the Volturi found out. They would literally track you down if they though you were a threat.

I'd learned the hard way that normal humans didn't react well to learning about abnormal things. Michael had realized how lonely I'd been when he'd been my Guardian and had let me have a semi social life. As long as I kept my other life a secret. So I'd gone to school, tried to blend in, but I was just different. A few people gravitated toward me - mostly boys - but other than that…

"You'll be okay," Jacob said softly, dragging me out of my thoughts. "You'll fit in in no time."

I took a deep breath and looked at Jacob. How had he known what I was thinking? How had he known just what to say, just what I needed to hear?

"Are you…staying? I mean, you're not leaving me alone with them, right?" I mean, they'd been nice before, but what if they'd changed?

"I won't leave. Not unless you want me to."

"No," I said, maybe a little more fiercely than necessary. "Stay."

So he did.

* * *

Jacob had told me Quil and Embry had grown too, but I hadn't expected him to mean they'd grown like _him_. I wondered what was in the water supply around here. Normal people didn't grow like that.

Embry wasn't as shy as I remembered, but he was still nice, and Quil wasn't as flirty as I remembered. I didn't mind that part because I probably would've just ignored it anyway. They were happy to see me again and they didn't ask a lot of questions so we got along great.

"So…when are you going to meet the rest of my friends?" Jacob asked curiously.

I grimaced slightly and I had to keep from leaning into his warmth. "I dunno, Jacob. I'm just…putting myself out there like that? Not really my thing."

"Why not?" Jacob asked lightly. "I promise they won't bite."

I huffed out a laugh. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, you'll like them."

"Well, where are they?"

"Probably with Sam."

Embry had answered and I jumped a little. I'd forgotten he and Quil were even here. I felt a little bad for that.

"Sam Uley?"

"Yeah. He's…he can be…intimidating, I guess is the word, to people who don't know him. But he's nice. And, uh, Paul has a temper, but he won't hurt you."

The way Embry had said that sounded like they wouldn't _let_ him hurt me, not that he wouldn't. Not that a human could hurt me anyway.

"Seth is cool," Jacob began. "He kinda looks up to me like an older brother. Then there's Jared, who can be a bit of a goofball, but he's cool. Uh, the worst is Leah. She's kind of rude, sometimes, but just ignore her."

"There's Kim, she's with Jared. Um…Sam's with Emily. There's Claire, Emily's niece. She's two, but we baby-sit sometimes. Or, well, Quil does."

I looked at Quil, suppressing a grin. "You baby-sit? I can't see it, sorry."

"Hey, I'm the best baby-sitter ever," he said, defending himself.

Jacob nodded. "He's very good with her. You'd be surprised."

"Yeah, she's got him wrapped around her finger," Embry teased, but Quil didn't seem ashamed of it.

"So, you guys spend a lot of time at Sam's, huh?"

Jacob shrugged. "Yeah. Not as much as we used to, but…yeah."

"Oh. Okay. Do they know about me?" I looked at all three guys. "That I'm here?"

"They know." Jacob placed his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into a loose hug. It wasn't an intrusive gesture; it was open though for me to move if I wanted.

I moved all right, but not away. I leaned against his arm and slowly, hesitantly, wrapped my arm around him, in turn. I told myself it was stupid, but it was like I knew Jacob better than I'd ever known anyone. And he, in turn, knew me.

There was some weird connection between us, and I didn't know what it was, but I didn't mind it. Which was scary and a little exciting at the same time.

"So…do you wanna go?"

I swallowed nervously. "You'll be there?" I squeezed his side where my hand was resting; my fingers met firm muscle. "Right?" That was the important part.

I looked at him and I saw that he was smiling a little. Probably because the way I'd asked, it had totally come across as me saying that I needed him around. Which if I was being totally honest with myself, I _did_ need him for some weird unexplainable reason.

"Or course I'll be there," Jacob said. "I'm not gonna throw you to the wolves alone."

I grinned half-heartedly. "Well, that's good to know."

With that, I let go, though I didn't move away. It felt good having someone to lean on. The fact that that someone was tall and very well built didn't hurt any. That it was _Jacob_ didn't hurt any. And, oh crap, I'd forgotten Quil and Embry again. But, oddly enough, they didn't seem to mind.

* * *

Okay, so what do you think? Am I keeping Jacob in character? I mean, he's nice and all, but is he too nice? Because this is how I imagine he'd be with his imprint. Well, on the inside, he's probably wanting to spend more time with her, but he's not wanting to scare the crap out of her by coming on too strong. And he hasn't told her about the werewolf thing because he can't just bring that up in casual conversation. Don't worry, she will find out eventually. Anyway, let me know what you think. Thank you. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, so...not getting very many reviews, but thanks to those who have. Also, thanks to those who have done the Story Alert thing, or if they've favorited the story.

Disclaimer: As always, don't own anything you recognize. Crystal is mine, as is Michael. The plot is pretty much mine; the characters you recognize don't.

Enjoy!

Chapter Three

Quil, Embry, Jacob, and I took Jacob's Rabbit to Sam's cabin-like house. They were so big that Quil and Embry barely fit in the backseat together. When we got to Sam's I found out that it was really Emily's place, but Sam stayed there so often the guys considered it to be Sam's house just as much as it was Emily's. They'd warned me that Emily had been attacked by an animal and had the scars to prove it, but it bothered Sam when someone stared so I promised I wouldn't.

The thing I noticed at first, though, was that the house was surrounded by woods. It was beautiful. _Everything_ I'd seen since I'd gotten to the reservation was beautiful. If I could get used to people actually wanting me around, I could learn to like it here. And Jacob had nothing to do with my decision. Not at all. Right…

The people Quil, Embry, and Jacob had described to me earlier were indeed at Sam's. They were all in the kitchen, eating. Some were sitting, the others were standing.

The first thing I noticed was that all the guys were…very well-toned. _What_ did their parents feed these guys? They were all handsome in their own way, and they seemed friendly enough. The guys were shirtless and they all had washboard abs.

Seth was adorable. He had shaggy black hair that kind of mirrored Jacob's, had the same carefree attitude. Happy, smiling…adorable. Jacob's mini-me. He looked a little younger than Jacob, which made since because Jacob said Seth looked up to him as an older brother.

Paul, the supposed hot-head, didn't seem hot-headed to me. Mischievous, maybe…but not angry or anything like that.

Jared seemed…mischievous too, only not as much as Paul.

There were two guys - younger guys - that I didn't know. They introduced themselves as Brady and Collin. All the guys looked similar enough that they could be brothers. Short black hair, dark brown eyes, russet skin, tall and built.

The girls here were beautiful. I knew right away who Emily was and it wasn't because of the scars. If was because she was sitting on the lap of the most intimidating one. Sam. He proved to be nice and welcoming, though, despite what he looked like. A little reserved, maybe, but I didn't mind.

Claire, Emily's two year old niece, was there coloring on the floor. Quil gravitated towards her instantly and her eyes lit up when he sat beside her. Aw!

Kim, Jared's girlfriend, was on a chair at the table, and Jared was beside her. Kim seemed shy and she had a book in front of her. It was on the table so I couldn't see what it was.

The guys were all smiles, which put me at ease pretty quickly. They had me smiling in no time. Even though I was different and I usually stuck out like a sore thumb, I felt I could fit in _here_.

The only one who was a little less than welcoming was Leah Clearwater. She seemed a little…bitter. She wasn't hard to look at either. She was built as well as the guys, only in a feminine way. Her physique was even more well defined than mine, and I'd been fighting and training for five years. She had inky black hair that came down to frame her face. Her eyes were kind of…haunted…maybe?

We'd gotten the whole introduction thing out of the way in the beginning, so the awkward silence that had filled the room had faded away a while ago.

Then Sam had asked if I'd been sad to leave my home and all eyes had turned to me. Yikes.

"Uh…well, no. Uh…the guy I was living with…I didn't call his house home. I was planning on leaving, anyway." I glanced around. "I'm glad I ended up here, though."

"Billy told us your mom loved it here where she was growing up," Paul started. "He said _you_ liked it here when you used to visit."

"Yeah, I did. I like it _now_." I saw Jacob smile at that and a half smile formed on my lips in return.

"You're planning on staying then?" Sam asked.

"Uh…well, Billy said I could stay as long as I wanted and I don't have anywhere else to go…so, yeah."

* * *

An hour later Jacob and I said our good-byes, going back out to his car. Quil and Embry had said they'd find their own way to their homes so we were leaving them at Sam's.

"So?" Jacob questioned. "Not scary, right?"

"No, not scary. They're nice. And Paul didn't seem all that hot-headed to me."

"Yeah, well, he can be."

"Hm."

It was misting, so I got a little wet on the trip to the car. Once inside the vehicle I immediately sought out the heat that was Jacob by moving closer to his side. It surprised him; hell, it surprised me. But it seemed to please him, so… And why did I care what pleased him? But, oh, his warmth was addictive. Especially in the cold weather that was the usual here. I had a feeling Jacob could keep me warm in the middle of a snow storm. I doubt the snow would even touch him; it would melt before it reached him.

"So…" I began, shaking my head to clear the thoughts away. "Uh…your friends are…huge."

Jacob laughed loudly. "Yeah, we all had serious growth spurts about a year ago."

"All of you guys?"

"Yeah. We're all around the same age. Sam's a few years older, but the rest of us are mostly the same age. Excluding Brady and Collin. They're new. Seth's, like, a year younger than me."

"Oh. Okay."

A moment of comfortable silence passed and then Jacob spoke again. His voice was softer and huskier than before. "So, did you mean what you said? You like it here?"

I felt my cheeks flush, thinking about why exactly I liked it here. I wasn't usually all that prone to blushing, but now? With Jacob? Yup. I was definitely blushing.

"Yeah, um…I could definitely get used to being here."

"Good," Jacob said quietly.

* * *

Jacob got a call from Sam that night and as soon as the call ended he seemed distracted…and tense.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"No, uh…something came up at work, but they're taking care of it."

"Oh. You don't have to go to work?"

"Not tonight."

Billy and Jacob had been watching a game. It ended and the news came on. The only thing that was really newsworthy was that people had gone missing in Port Angeles. The thing that had caught my attention, though, wasn't that people were missing - that happened all the time, everywhere. What really made me watch was that 'more people than usual' were missing. One guy had turned up dead…his throat had been torn apart. The thing that stumped the police, though, was that all the blood had been drained from the poor man.

Oh, great. Another vampire. And from the sloppiness of the kill - leaving the body somewhere for everyone to find - it was a newborn vampire. A vampire who couldn't control itself, a vampire who didn't know the rules, who didn't know about the Volturi.

I would have to take care of this. If I didn't, the Volturi would. The Volturi would because this vampire was drawing attention to the world that most people believed was just a myth. The Volturi wanted to keep it that way.

I sighed and slumped against the couch. Newborn vampires were even harder to kill than regular vampires. Newborns were even stronger and faster than regular ones. I didn't know why, nobody had ever told me. I crossed my arms over my chest. Bloodsucking vampires were not supposed to be real. They were supposed to exist only in bad date movies. They weren't supposed to become a way of life. And here where I was living my life now, vampires would be able to walk around during the day undetected. There was no sun. There hadn't been a sunny day since I'd gotten here. Vampires wouldn't sparkle here - the sunlight made them sparkle like diamonds.

This was gonna suck. No pun intended.

* * *

The next day, I didn't go to Port Angeles, but I did go into town. Forks was a fifteen minute drive from La Push. I was going to go to the grocery store. Even if I hadn't known where I was going, I wouldn't have had any trouble getting to Forks; the road signs were very helpful. There was a Thriftway, which was a grocery store, and there was a sporting goods store which I stayed away from.

I didn't get much at the grocery store aside from something for dinner - chicken, potatoes, and corn. Jacob had said he could cook - he'd had to take care of Billy, so of course he could - but I needed to do something to earn my keep. I picked up a newspaper - it had information about the missing people in Port Angeles - and paid for my things.

On the way back to the reservation it started raining and I had to slow down because I _hated_ driving in the rain. Actually, I was dangerous while driving in the rain. I wasn't used to it, and the drops hitting the windshield was distracting. Not that I didn't have enough to be distracted by. There was vampire in Port Angeles - at least one, maybe more.

I'd come to La Push to get _away_ from bloodsucking fiends from beyond the grave, but _of course_ there would be vampires near here. My life was never easy; if something could go wrong, it undoubtedly would.

Pulling in front of the Blacks' house, I saw Jacob come out of the woods, shirtless again. Why? Didn't he know it was raining? Couldn't he feel it?

"Crys! Where've you been?" Billy hadn't asked where I'd been going when I'd asked if I could use the Rabbit, and Jacob had been at work.

I blushed at how excited he sounded to see me. I didn't understand the excitement, but I was flattered by it nonetheless.

"Uh, the store. I went to get something to fix for dinner." I decidedly did _not_ stare at his body. I looked fixedly at his face. Uh-huh. "Um…why're you…ya know, shirtless? It's kinda cold, isn't it?" It wasn't to me, but still… "I mean, what? Do you have some kind of weird body temperature disease or something?"

"Or something." He grinned. "I'm not cold."

"Huh. Okay. Well, can you get the potatoes? I'll get the rest."

The potatoes were the heaviest thing, and even to a regular human they wouldn't have been that difficult to carry, but I was supposed to be a meek little girly girl, so Jacob carried the potatoes.

* * *

Dinner had gone smoothly; Jacob had even helped cook. Sort of. He'd mashed the potatoes as the chicken had baked and the corn had boiled. It was all very…domestic. I usually cringed away from stuff like that, but here with Jacob and his dad it didn't seem so bad. It was homey and warm and I loved it.

I had made enough for there to be plenty of leftovers for a _normal_ set of three people, but Jacob ate a lot. I didn't know where he put it. I also didn't know how he wasn't as big as the side of the house.

"Jacob, what do you do?" I asked after I was done. "I mean, your job. What do you do?"

He'd been in the middle of putting a forkful of potatoes in his mouth, but when I'd asked the question he stopped and placed the utensil back down. He seemed to be thinking of how to say what he wanted to say.

"Um, well…the group of friends I hang with have this…pack-type thing. And we're kinda like the security around here. We're like the neighborhood watch. We make sure things are goin' the way they're supposed to."

I blinked in surprise. "Really?" I hadn't been expecting that. I'd been expecting anything but that.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just wondering where you go and what you do when you're not here."

"Yeah, well, that's what I do."

To be honest, I felt a little relieved. I'd begun to suspect drug use. Although Jacob Black and crack head didn't go well together, and he'd have to have seriously changed to be doing drugs. But if he was on the neighborhood watch, then I could understand _why_ he was gone all the time and then when he was here he wanted to sleep.

* * *

The next day I went to Port Angeles. I filled up Jacob's car - I was the one who had been using it the most so it was only fair for me to be the one to fill it up. I had a little money saved up from when I'd worked for two years before coming here.

I wasn't in Port Angeles to kill any vampires, I was here to see if I could _find_ them. I hadn't heard about anymore people going missing, so I was _hoping_ that whatever vampire was responsible for killing that man was long gone by now. But of course, with the way my life went…the vampire was still here. It was holed up in a warehouse in the bad and mostly deserted part of Port Angeles. I was surprised to find that there was only one vampire here. And it didn't seem like it was a newborn, either. Newborn vampires were bloodthirsty and had no control over their hunger. If I were to fight a newborn and I were to bleed it would distract them enough from fighting that I could get the upper hand, but the blood would make their thirst uncontrollable.

"I knew I'd find you here," Michael's familiar voice said from behind me. He'd been talking loud enough for only me to hear him. If I'd been a normal human, I wouldn't have heard him at all. If I were normal, I wouldn't have heard him coming up behind me; he'd have scared the living daylights out of me.

"What're you doing here?" I asked, speaking just as softly as he had been.

"I had to make sure you didn't get yourself hurt."

"I told you before, I can handle myself."

"I wanna see for myself."

That kind of grated on my nerves a little. "What? You're gonna give me an evaluation?"

"Yeah, actually." I could practically _feel_ his smirk, I didn't even have to look.

"Michael…I wasn't planning on killing any vampires today. I…this was strictly a recon assignment. You know, find out where the vampires were and how many I'd be dealing with." When I looked at Michael I saw that his eyes were a soft golden-brown today. He'd recently fed. "You didn't have to hunt me down."

"I needed to know you were safe."

I smiled softly at the concern in his voice and face. "Safe as houses."

He grimaced. "If a vampire catches your scent, a house isn't going to be safe for long."

"True." Contrary to popular mythology, vampires did _not_ need an invitation to get inside your house. And locking your door didn't help much, either; it was essentially useless. "So, I guess if I'm gonna kill this vampire then I need some gasoline."

Actually, all I needed was match, which I had, but the gasoline would make the vampire's death quicker.

"I don't have gasoline, but I have lighter fluid in the car."

"That'll work," I said.

Michael was gone in the blink of an eye. Literally. I didn't know why he was so worried - _he_ had trained me once, so he knew I could handle myself.

I tried the doorknob but it was locked, so I used my strength to twist the knob hard enough to actually break the lock. I knew the vampire would be alerted to my presence, but that was okay. I could make him think that I was just curious. Or I could have, if he hadn't thrown me across the room as soon as I'd stepped inside. From the impact of my landing, I could tell I'd hit concrete or something equally as hard.

"Ow," I said, standing. "Now that hurt."

I heard the vampire hiss and I looked up. The vampire had blood-red eyes - that meant he had been sucking on humans - and, of course, a pale face. All vampires had perfect features and this one was no different.

He had spiky brown hair, his eyebrows were thin and his cheekbones were so hollow they had shadows. His chin jutted out a little. It was weird but I could imagine him with blue eyes. He was about 6'11" and he towered over my 5'8".

"What d'you want?" he asked, pushing me to the wall again.

I could tell this wasn't a newborn. He had too much control over himself for him to be a newborn. If he'd been new…he'd have bitten me by now. My scent would've drawn him in.

"I _want_ to live a normal life, but you're kind of making that impossible."

"You want a normal life, and yet you came here?"

I shrugged. "I live nearby. You're killing people. This town…this whole _state_ is my territory now."

"I didn't see your name written anywhere."

I smiled mischievously and pushed him away. "Would you like to? I could make an example of you."

He threw his arms out, challenging me. "You can try."

When I was fighting this time I let myself get angry. Sometimes you needed fire, the kind that anger gave you, to defeat your opponent. The only thing this vampire had going for him was speed; he didn't know how to fight very well. He was very uncoordinated for a vampire. I took him down fairly easily and tore him apart with even more ease.

When Michael came back with the lighter fluid he seemed shocked by the damage I'd done.

"How did you do that?"

"Easy as cake," I said, shrugging. "You're the only Guardian that ever hunted with me, Michael, so I'm used to hunting alone. It's what I do."

"And you're okay?"

"Uh-huh. My back hurts a little, but other than that I'm good to go."

Michael sprayed the pieces of the vampire with the flammable liquid and I lit a match. I always carried a book of matches with me where I went for times such as this. As I watched the pieces slowly turn to ash Michael began looked around and I heard him mutter a curse under his breath.

"What?"

"There's another one here."

"Where?"

"Here."

Michael was standing in the corner of the room where a little cot was. I could see from my place by the fire that there was someone sleeping…or not sleeping. Just lying there…convulsing. It was a female.

I went to stand by Michael and saw that the girl was barely breathing, and she had a bite mark on both of her wrists. She was in the process of being changed.

"How far along is she?" I asked.

"She has maybe a day and a half left. We can't save her. She's had the venom in her system for too long."

I knew the whole changing process took about three days total. If you reached the person in time you could save them by sucking the venom out…this girl, though, was a lost cause. I felt a pang for her. The vampire I'd killed had meant to make her…so he could have a mate? Vampires mated for life - for their existence - for the most part.

"She's still alive, Michael. I can't kill her. As long as her heart is beating, she's still human. I won't kill a human." Though death was a better alternative to the pain she was probably in right now.

"You don't have to. Go. I'll take care of it."

I felt another pang when I realized Michael was going to have to kill her. Poor girl. And poor Michael. As far as I knew his past haunted him, and he hadn't killed a human since he'd stopped feeding from them for me. But if we were to let her actually become a vampire…we'd never able to control her.

"Okay. Good. Thanks." I looked toward the flames. "Clean up after?"

"You bet," Michael said. "Go."

* * *

Back at the car I stretched and winced.

Note to self: _Concrete is not a good thing to be thrown against_. My back was going to be sore for a while. I would probably bruise by tomorrow. I'd have to be careful when I got back to Billy's. I couldn't let them know I was hurt. Especially Jacob. He'd flip out. He'd want to know why I was hurt, how I'd been hurt, and who had hurt me. All questions I wouldn't be able to answer honestly.

I'd been gone for maybe two hours now and I didn't really have an excuse for even coming to Port Angeles. I'd need to think of something.

By the time I got back to the house I was calling home now, I knew what I was going to say. I was visiting a friend. The Blacks' didn't need to know said friend was a vampire. Because despite everything - the Volturi and the vampire thing - Michael was my friend - uncle or surrogate parent, almost.

I remembered the day he'd left like it was yesterday…the day he'd had to hand me over to my next Guardian.

_I was almost seventeen and I was semi-happy, which was weird for me. I had a Guardian who understood my 'respect for human life'._

_I was coming back from a hunt - vampires called it a kill, I preferred the term hunt - and I was sore and tired from my fight. But I was content._

_The happy feelings evaporated as I walked into the house I was sharing with Michael. He was standing in the living room with his suitcases. His face was emotionless. It was like a switch for vampires. Vampires could cut their emotions off when they wanted. I knew something was wrong…he didn't act that way with me._

"_What's…going on?" I asked, stepping further into the room._

"_I'm leaving. The Volturi made their review. You passed; I didn't. They said my feelings for you have made me weak. I can't make the hard decisions anymore."_

"_So you're just leaving?"_

"_I've done all I can for you, Crystal."_

"_Stay with me," I begged. "What did I do? I'll…I'll do everything better, just stay."_

_The emotionless fell from his face and if he could cry, I was sure he would. He grabbed me and pulled me to his icy chest._

"_Don't. This isn't your fault. I promise. You didn't do anything wrong. I broke the rules and got too close. This is all my fault. Don't blame yourself."_

_I sniffled a little, my eyes filling with water. "Where're you gonna go?" My voice sounded small and vulnerable even to my ears, so I knew Michael would catch it._

_He hugged me tighter. "I don't know. I'll be around." He sighed softly. "Don't ever change, Crystal. Don't play their game; do it your way."_

_I nodded slowly. "Who's taking your place?"_

_He shook his head. "I don't know. But he probably won't be like me."_

_I scoffed at the stupidity of that statement. "No one's like you."_

* * *

Back in the real world…I stepped inside the Blacks' house and was surprised when no one asked me where I'd been. Though four pairs of eyes turned to me. Billy, Jacob, Embry, and Quil's eyes, to be exact.

"What?" I asked self-consciously. "What's wrong?"

"What happened to you?" Jacob asked, standing up from his place on the couch, coming forward.

"What?"

"Have you looked in a mirror lately?" Quil asked, sounding amused yet concerned.

"No…" I said hesitantly. "Why?"

"You should," he said.

I looked down at myself and couldn't see anything wrong…except for maybe the black marks from standing too close to the burning vampire. Crap.

"Oh, um…there was a fire and I was standing too close."

"A fire?" Jacob seemed upset. "Are you okay?"

"Uh-huh. My-my back hurts, but I'm okay."

"But you didn't get burned?" Billy asked.

"No." I shook my head. "I'll be fine in a few days." I went past Jacob and the TV and - surprise, surprise - they were watching sports. "I'm gonna take a shower. See ya in a bit."

I went in my room to get some clothes and found Jacob's jacket - the jean one I always wore - on my bed. I hadn't put it there, so Jacob must have. I smiled at the gesture. The jacket was mine now, I assumed. That was so…Jacob. He knew I liked it, so he'd given it to me…just like that.

I got some fresh clothes and went to the bathroom, turning on the water. I made it as hot as it would go. I was hoping the heat would make my back stop hurting.

* * *

The shower didn't help at all. The only thing it did was make me tired. I put my shirt over my head slowly and winced. Since it hurt so much to move, I decided to check my back in the mirror. And wow, it looked horrible. It was already black and blue. It looked like I'd been hit repeatedly over and over with a rock.

Since the first time I'd been bitten, I hadn't been hurt to the point where I'd felt it. Oh, but I was feeling it now. I'd been careless today. I shouldn't have just barged in like that. I wouldn't have been thrown across the room if I'd been more careful.

I walked stiffly back to the living room and saw that Quil and Embry had already left. I was kinda thankful for that since I was in my pajamas.

"Hey, thanks for the jacket," I said, placing myself beside Jacob. It just felt natural to be there. I leaned instinctively toward his warmth.

"No problem. I saw you liked it, now it's yours. I don't use it anymore."

"So, you said there was a fire?" Billy said. "In Port Angeles?"

"Yeah. One of the warehouses."

"What were you doing near the warehouses?" Jacob asked, almost alarmed. "That's not really a safe place to be."

"Yeah, I know. But I wasn't alone. An…old friend lives in Port Angeles. He was with me. I was completely safe." My back decided to ache more at the lie, and I groaned. "Ow."

Jacob's brow quirked up. "What?"

"My back. It hurts to move." There went the whole plan to keep them in the dark about my pain.

"What happened?"

"The fire…there was an explosion and I was thrown back. Must've landed wrong. I'm just sore."

"Hm. Thought you said you were completely safe," Billy remarked. Darn the observant man.

"With Michael. I'm safe with Michael. He can't control fire, however." I looked at Jacob. "Don't think I'm weird for asking, but can I use you as a heating pad."

Jacob grinned. "A heating pad? I don't think I've been used as a heating pad before, but sure."

I turned my back to him and slowly pressed against his side and the warmth of his skin seeped through my shirt instantly and I let out a little sigh of relief when my ache when down to a more bearable level.

* * *

The next day Jacob got a call from Sam and he had to leave immediately and I got bored really fast, so I went outside.

Today the sun was actually shining; it looked unusual here. Beautiful but unusual. The sun glistened off the wet ground, making things look shinier than I was used to.

I was outside on the porch, reading a book. It would've been cold today if the weather bothered me, but it didn't. I was in the middle of my book when I heard a rustle in the woods, only the wind wasn't blowing, so I looked up…and saw absolutely nothing.

Just as I began to look away, though, I saw a red-brown blur along the edge of the wood line. A normal human wouldn't have seen it since it moved so fast. Now I was caught between staying right where I was seated and going to see what exactly I'd seen. Though I thought I knew.

My wolf. The blur had been the same color as my canine friend. I decided I wanted to see if it had been my wolf making those rustling sounds. I was sort of nervous, though, because what if the russet blur wasn't my wolf? My hands shook. I wasn't really fond of my forest unless Jacob was with me. I rolled my eyes at my wimpiness and stood up. I could kill vampires…the woods shouldn't be a problem.

When I reached the edge of the trees, I looked back at the house. I'd already decided to go on, but the nice, safe house was beckoning me back.

"Stop being a coward," I told myself, stepping into the forest. I ignored the prickle of fear I felt and kept going.

There was another noise, a sort of muffled thump. It sounded like something had hit the forest floor. It was like thudding footfalls. Something massive was moving fast. I let out a breath and my fingers tightened into fists. I was deep in the woods now, and the sun wasn't really making it through the thickness of the trees. It didn't matter, I could see just as well in the dark as I could in the light.

I realized I was shaking from fear. _Why_ had I let myself come out here? I'd known the woods freaked me out when I was alone so I should've stayed on the porch. I told myself to turn around; I _tried_ to turn around. But I couldn't. I was pretty much frozen in place. I was really freaked out. For the first time since I'd gotten here…I was scared. I was having a feeling that something bad was about to happen. I could feel danger coming at me in waves. Every instinct was telling me to get the hell out of there, so I actually tried to listen to myself.

I took the first step back in the direction I'd come from, and after that my body decided to move of its own accord. It was reacting to the danger I felt, I guessed. I picked up the pace, beginning to jog. I was hoping I wouldn't trip - because, yes, I did on occasion lose my balance. As the sounds grew closer I began to run. I heard footfalls like someone was chasing and gaining on me.

I didn't look back; I couldn't. I didn't think I wanted to know what was behind me. And it _was_ behind me. So I willed myself to go faster. I could only run at half the speed of a full-blooded vampire, but the trees whipped past my face and they were just a green blur.

The reason I was running was because I wasn't at my best. I was in no condition to fight.

Something grabbed me around the waist, yanking me off my feet and throwing me to the ground. The back of my head hit something and I groaned, my hands going to my head automatically. I wasn't bleeding, although it felt like I should've been. Grunting, I looked up, staring into the face of whatever had knocked me down. I knew right away that it was a vampire. The pale skin and red eyes gave it away.

I knew I needed to struggle, needed to get away. But knowing that and trying to do that were two very different things. It was like my brain knew I needed to do these things, but my body wasn't listening.

The vampire leaned over me and grinned threateningly. I balled my fist and tried punching it, but the vampire caught my wrist with its hand. Pain shot up my arm and down my fingers as the vampire squeezed hard.

I screamed as loud as I could, hoping someone would hear me. Then I realized I didn't want anyone to hear me. If someone else showed up, they'd get hurt too.

The fist that wasn't busy keeping my wrist still, slammed into the side of my face. It would've torn a normal person's head off, but it only made me see stars for a second.

A big blur swept past me and then the vampire was tackled to the ground, away from me. I moved as fast as my aching body would allow and sat up. I heard a metallic tearing sound and a growl, and I looked toward the noise. I knew the metallic thing was the vampire being killed - or torn apart, anyway. The russet wolf - _my_ wolf - from before was here tearing the vampire apart. It was frightening to watch, but morbidly fascinating, too. I was glad this thing was being ripped to pieces. It had tried to kill me.

Another blur flew past me - a black blur -and it forced a gasp from my lungs. It was another wolf. The arrival of this wolf made _my_ wolf stop tearing the vampire apart. The black wolf took over. The black wolf was about the size of the reddish brown one, maybe a little bigger.

My wolf came to me and leaned down to nuzzle his head against my cheek - the one that had been struck - whimpering softly. It seemed like he was asking if I was okay.

"I'm good," I whispered, noting that the wolf's mouth was bigger than my head. "I mean, I don't _feel_ good, but I'm okay."

I stood up, stumbling on the way, grabbing onto my wolf to keep from falling back down. My head was spinning. What I felt beneath my hands wasn't fur, though. It was a material of some sort. Shorts? Jean shorts? It was connected to his leg with a leather band.

Why would a wolf have shorts tied to its leg?

Then everything clicked into place. I _knew_ this wolf. He was Jacob in wolf form. Jacob was a…werewolf? Or a shapeshifter?

All the legends my mom had told me, all the legends I should've remembered popped into my head. The cold ones and the wolf-people. They'd been nagging me since I'd seen the wolf the first time.

I knew it was Jacob. I _knew_ it. The wolf hadn't shown up until I'd come here, and the wolf's fur reminded me so much of Jacob's skin. The wolf was warm like Jacob, too. But the thing that made me realize it most was the way the wolf was looking at me with the same tender concern as Jacob always did. No one else looked at me like that.

I gasped softly. "Jacob? Are you Jacob?"

The wolf - Jacob - looked away guiltily. I reached up, running my hand along the fur on his chest, and he looked at me again.

"Take me home?"

He leaned down on his front legs and I got on his back. Then we were speeding through the woods. He could go even faster than what I'd been doing earlier. And it didn't scare me like it probably should have, but I knew Jacob wouldn't let anything happen to me.

When we reached the edge of the woods where I could see the house again, Jacob slowed to a stop and lowered himself so I could hop off. I held onto his fur, though, hoping to keep him in place.

"Jacob? Can you…change back? Now?" Could he do it whenever he wanted?

The leg with his shorts tied on it shook lightly and I got it. He was naked.

"Right." I blushed. "I'll go wait on the porch."

* * *

A few minutes later, Jacob came out of the woods and walked cautiously towards me. Maybe he was thinking I was scared of him now. Which…not even.

I stood up, meeting him halfway. "Do, uh, you wanna go first?"

Jacob seemed…self-conscious, which was a look I never wanted to see on his face again.

"How'd you know it was me?" he asked.

"Lots of reasons," I said. "Mostly your eyes, though. Wolf-you looks at me the same way human-you is looking at me right now."

Jacob smiled softly, briefly. "So…are you scared of me now that you know I can do that?"

"No," I said firmly, reaching up to grab his arm. "That's…just no. You just saved my neck, quite literally. I couldn't be scared of you if I tried."

That seemed to appease him and the uncertainty fell from his face. It was nice.

"So, how were _you_ able to move so fast?" he asked curiously.

"Um, well…"

Jacob focused on my face, bringing his hand up to my cheek, rubbing over it gently with his fingers, amazed yet looking slightly angry.

"What?" I asked, stopping myself from leaning into his touch.

"Are you okay?"

Oh, right. The vampire had hit me.

"I'm okay. I'll probably have a bruise, but…I'm okay." I drew his hand away with my own and squeezed gently. "I'm okay, thanks to you."

I could've sworn I saw him blush and I smiled gently at him.

"Have you always been able to do that?" I asked as we began walking back to the porch. "Change, I mean?"

"No, um…it started about a year ago…around the time of the growth spurt."

"Oh. Wow."

"Yeah."

"Um…you can change whenever you want, I take it?"

"Yeah. Sometimes even when I don't want to. It's tied to my emotions. When I get angry it's easy to phase without meaning to."

"When you shake, is that what that is?"

"Uh-huh."

"Oh. And the other wolf? Who was that?"

"Sam. All the guys you've met - the one's who were at Sam's that day…they're wolves. And Leah. There's ten of us altogether."

I let out a quick laugh, letting _that_ shock just slide off my back. "Okay. And you guys what? Hunt vampires?"

"Pretty much." Jacob laughed bitterly; it didn't sound right coming from his mouth. "Ironically enough, they're the reason I am what I am."

"What?"

"Well, if vampires didn't exist, the wolf-gene never would've taken affect."

"Oh. Sorry," I said.

"Not your fault," he said. "So you're okay with this?"

I could tell he was worried.

"Yes," I answered. "Absolutely yes to that question. As I said before…_you're_ not trying to kill me, so…"

He was relieved. I saw the tension fade as I reassured him I was fine with everything. Then I got back to my near death experience.

"Was the vampire here just for me, or…?"

"I think so. There's vampire stink all over the woods near this house." At least he was honest and wasn't sugar coating things.

"Yeah, okay, and…are there more? Do you know?"

"Not that we can tell. Not on the reservation, anyway. There have been attacks nearby, though."

I nodded. "Port Angeles, I know."

"You know about that?" Jacob asked, surprised.

I nodded again. "I've been keeping track ever since the news that day, the one about the guy getting his throat ripped out and I just _knew_ it was a vampire that had done it. A lot of people have gone missing, but only two have died that I know of. One girl and that old man from the news."

"Girl?"

"Um…yeah, but the vampire that did that is gone."

"Gone?" Jacob glanced away fro me for a second like he was thinking of something. "The fire yesterday…was that from…?"

"I kill vampires too," I said softly.

"How? I mean…aren't you human?"

I laughed a little. "Mostly human. Well, _all_ human with…vampire enhancements."

Jacob tensed. "How? I mean, you don't smell like a vampire. Usually, anyway."

"Uh…well…" I huffed out a laugh. "I'm sorta like a vampire slayer."

"A…what, you mean like the show?"

"Yeah. Almost exactly like it. There are other girls…potentials…but I'm the only one at full power. As long as I'm alive…no other girl can be chosen."

"And you kill vampires."

"Uh-huh." I looked over at him. He was shirtless, as usual. "So…I don't even know what to ask."

Jacob shrugged. "I'll explain everything if you let me ask you questions first."

"Yeah, okay."

"Okay?" Jacob made it clear I didn't have to answer anything I didn't want to. "Oh, and, uh, anything you don't want anyone else to know, you should tell me because when we're in wolf form we can hear each others thoughts."

"Oh. Wow." That was kind of intrusive.

"They don't know anything you've told me so far. I've made it a point to not think about anything personal you've said while I've been a wolf." He grinned. "I've been singing every song I can think of to keep people out of my head."

"Thank you," I said sincerely. I suddenly realized our hands were still joined, but I didn't let go. "So…shoot."

"Okay…so, I'm assuming the vampire I scared off the other day was Michael, right?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"You said something about a drinking problem…then I saw you hanging with a vampire. I…put two and two together."

"Oh. Okay. Michael was the first…person…I was close to after my parents…uh, died." I _hated_ talking about it, but now that we were being honest with each other, I figured I might as well come completely clean, right? "Jacob, there's something you should know. About me."

He could tell from my tone that it was something bad. "O…kay."

"I…watched my parents die. A vampire killed them and made me watch. A-after he was done, he came after _me_." A low rumble erupted from Jacob's chest and I smiled. "Did you just _growl_?" I teased.

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," I said easily. "Um…anyway, the vampire bit me. I, um…am…I can't be changed that way. Venom won't change me. I felt the venom spread, but…I didn't die. Or become undead, which is good because I don't want to be a vampire."

"Well, you're safe here. I won't let anything happen to you if I can help it."

"I believe you."

I did believe him because Jacob didn't say things he didn't mean very often.

* * *

Okay, so, as usual, let me know what you think. What you like, what you don't like...all that stuff. Thanks. :)


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, so this chapter pretty much takes up right where the last one ended. Um...thanks to the people who reviewed, although I'm gonna single one person out.

Maria: I just wanted to say thank you so much for what you said. It seriously made my day, maybe my whole week even, and it made me update faster. LOL. Anyway, seriously, thank you.

Disclaimer: Same ol', Same ol'. I don't own anything you recognize from either 'verse. I own my two characters and the plot and that's about it.

Enjoy!

Chapter Four

"So, what does it mean that you have vampire enhancements?" Jacob was genuinely curious. "Well…I mean…what part of you is enhanced?"

"Well, my instincts are good. I've been fighting vampires since I was thirteen." Jacob's eyes widened at that, and I smiled softly before continuing. "My senses are heightened. I'm faster than the average human, but you already knew that." I shrugged a little, smiling wider. "That's about it. Well, except for the fact that I'm not hurt easily." I was sure there was more to tell, but I just couldn't think of anything at that moment.

We were still out on the porch. We'd been caught up in learning the truth about each other. We still had a lot to talk about, but we'd gotten through the basics.

"Um…blood?" Jacob questioned cautiously.

"Oh, right." I shook my head. "I've _never_ drank blood. I've never felt the need to. I don't even like pink in my food."

Jacob smiled gently, but sobered quickly. "You said you felt the venom spread…I've heard it…hurts bad."

"Very," I said honestly. "It's very painful. It's like acid running through your veins. I passed out from the pain, and when I woke up…I didn't know where I was. The vampire was with me and I killed it. I was…stronger than before. I think the venom activated me…but it didn't kill me. Obviously."

"Well, I'm glad for that," Jacob said, staring into my eyes intensely.

"Yeah." I had to look away from his gaze. "So…vampires…you kill them, too." I shrugged. "Why?"

"They're the natural enemies to werewolves. The only enemies to werewolves, actually."

"Oh, right. Yeah, I think my mom told me something about that." I bit my lip lightly. "Um…Michael said something about a treaty with a vampire family in Forks?"

"Yeah. The Cullens'." Jacob grimaced briefly, but then his face cleared. "They call themselves vegetarians because they don't eat humans."

"Oh." I bit my lip again. "Okay." I looked at the ground. "So…that vampire today…do you think there will be more? I don't want to cause trouble."

"I don't know. I hope not. But now that you know the secret…it'll be easier to protect you."

"Good." I was relieved. I wouldn't have to worry so much about protecting myself while I was here. They could protect me.

That intense look came into his eyes again. Only this time he looked apologetic. Uh-oh. What was he getting ready to say?

"I wanted to tell you about me, I swear I did, but I just didn't know how to."

I let out a sigh of relief. He hadn't revealed anything too bad or earth-shattering.

"Oh, well…you weren't the only one with a secret, so…" I swallowed nervously. "It was the same with me. I wanted to tell you, but I knew I couldn't. I mean, if I had known that you were…you…I wouldn't have kept it from you. But I refuse to drag someone into my world if I don't have to."

"I get that," Jacob said. "Can you do me a favor, though." I noticed the huskiness of his voice.

"Sure, as long as it doesn't get me arrested."

He smiled brightly and it took my breath away for a moment. His smile was almost blindingly beautiful when it was genuine.

"No, uh, it won't get you in trouble. Just don't go anywhere without me or one of the others, okay? For me? At least for a few days." His voice had a begging tone to it and I found myself falling into it.

"Oh, trust me, I've already learned that lesson," I said. "I won't go anywhere without you."

Jacob seemed to like that I said 'without you' instead of 'without you or one of the others'.

"So, what were you doing in the woods, anyway?" Jacob asked. "Or that far in?"

"I think I saw you. Unless one of the others look like you."

Jacob shook his head. "No, they don't."

"Okay, so it was you." My lip found its way between my teeth again. "So, you know the pack better than I do. They aren't gonna wanna eat me or anything, right? Because I can't help that I am what I am."

"Um…" Jacob stifled his laughter. "We make it a habit not to eat humans."

"Good. Um, does your dad know about you?"

"Yeah. I pretty much phased right in front of him. The first time it happened I didn't know…I mean, I just got really angry for no reason, and you know me, I used to not get angry. I could've killed him that night when I phased."

"But you didn't," I said, smiling softly, reassuringly.

Poor Jacob, phasing and not having a clue about…anything until… He must have been so scared. He must have thought he'd lost his mind. And poor Billy, he'd probably almost had a heart attack.

"Yeah. Anyway, we can explain to Sam what's happening and figure out how much we need to up patrol."

I bit my lip _again_. I didn't mean to, but whenever I felt embarrassed or angry or any other negative emotion, my bottom lip always found its way between my teeth. And right now I was feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I knew if I came here I'd end up bringing trouble with me."

"Hey" - Jacob's warm hand found mine again - the second time that day - "you didn't bring anything with you. Okay? This isn't your fault. And besides, killing vampires is what my kind are for. We can handle it if more come for you."

I looked at him - he was kind of blurry from my tears - and smiled softly. Just for him; I didn't really feel like smiling at all.

"Guess it's a good thing I've got a pack of wolves to back me up, huh? Vampires are always after me."

The vampires couldn't help it. Everything about me drew them in - especially my smell. My blood appealed to all vampires; I smelled sweeter than the average human.

"Come on," Jacob said, pulling me up with him. "We should go talk to Sam before he comes looking for us."

* * *

Jacob and I walked - well, jogged - to Sam's. I wasn't as fast as he was. He had to run at half speed so I could keep up. We were met outside by Quil, Embry, and Sam. Embry and Quil looked the same as always; Sam looked hesitant and leery - he was suspicious of me. Not that I blamed him…he'd never met anyone like me before.

"So…I'm assuming Jake explained everything?" Quil asked, and I nodded. "Well, good. I told him to tell you before, but he wouldn't listen."

"Shut up, Quil," Jacob said good-naturedly.

Sam looked between the two guys. He looked like he didn't know whether he should be annoyed or amused - he also looked like this was a normal every day occurrence for him. Then he turned to me.

"I probably don't even need to tell you this, but…you can't ever tell anyone. About anything."

"I wouldn't say anything to anyone about you guys. I've been keeping secrets for a long time. I'm like the Fort Knox of secrets."

Sam seemed satisfied with that answer and he moved onto the next most important thing. "So, you were really moving out there. How?"

And oh, no. He was going all Alpha on me. He sounded like he thought maybe I was a threat to his pack. He wasn't standing in a threatening pose or anything, but he did have a hint of a warning in his voice. It kind of made me want to shrink away.

"Cool it, Sam," Jacob said. "She won't hurt us."

"Can't," Quil corrected automatically. Apparently Sam hadn't told them anything, and they hadn't been in wolf form when everything had happened.

"Actually," Sam started, "a vampire attacked her and she's still living. She's more than she seems."

I looked at Jacob, worried. "Can't you just, ya know, tell him?"

"We'd have to phase," he said.

"Well, do that. I don't feel like explaining again." Especially when Sam was being all defensive.

Jacob didn't phase; he just started talking. "Look, long story short…she's human, but she has the strength, speed, and instincts of a vampire. She doesn't drink blood, she's never drank blood, and she kills vampires." Sam didn't say anything and I didn't know how to take his silence. Jacob continued speaking. "She can't help what she is. She didn't have a choice, just like we didn't. She hasn't hurt anybody -"

"Jacob, chill. We're not going to hurt her," Sam said. "We don't hurt people." Sam turned to me again. "Are you…okay? I know the bloodsucker hit you pretty hard."

His voice was normal now. Kind and caring.

"I'm…good. Um, I'll bruise, but I'm good." I smiled softly before thinking of something else. "Can Jacob _not_ have patrol tonight? It's just with everything that happened today, I'd feel better with him actually there. Ya know?"

I could feel myself blush from my little I-need-Jacob speech, but it was true; I _would_ feel better with him there. To my surprise, Sam's eyes softened and he gave in to my request. Jacob would be at home that night.

* * *

The next morning I woke up to yelling. It was Jacob and Sam…and someone I didn't know. He had a nice voice, a compassionate voice. It wasn't until I got up that I realized that the voices were coming from outside, and a normal human wouldn't have been able to hear them as clearly as I could.

I quickly changed into day clothes and went to see what all the yelling was about. And this early in the morning, too? I made it to the edge of the porch before I realized the voice I hadn't recognized belonged to a vampire. He obviously wasn't a human-blood drinking vampire because neither Jacob nor Sam was attacking him. The vampire in question was handsome - in an undead sort of way - and young. He looked like he was in his mid-twenties, maybe even younger. He was blond and pale, and he had circles under his golden-brown eyes.

There was another vampire beside him - this one a girl. She looked like a pixie and her dark hair was styled in a razor cut fashion. She had a dazed expression on her face like she was seeing something far away that no one else could. Then her gaze fell on me and she smiled kindly.

I, however, did not move from the porch. I was comfortable where I was, thank you very much.

Jacob's attention went from yelling at Sam to focusing on me, after which, his face softened and he began walking - almost jogging - up the porch to me.

"Morning," he said.

"Um…good morning. What do they want?" I looked toward the two vampires.. "They're the Cullens right? I thought they weren't allowed on your land."

"They're not, but they called first. Long story short? Alice - the female vampire - has visions."

"Visions?"

"More like flashes of the future." The girl vampire was suddenly beside Jacob, in front of me. She'd heard everything we'd said even from her previous position across the yard. "I saw you and I knew I had to meet you." Alice seemed to have a very enthusiastic personality; it was a little scary, actually.

"Is that what you were yelling about?" I asked, looking at Jacob. "Because they want to see me?"

"No," Jacob said. "Sam thinks the vampires should test you. He wants to know what you're capable of." Jacob's tone suggested that he didn't like that idea very much.

"Oh." Why didn't he just ask? That would be the simple thing to do.

I looked at Alice, who was dazing again. Maybe that meant she was having a vision.

"Um…also…" Jacob gained my attention again. He looked decidedly uncomfortable. "I was hoping you'd let Carlisle take a look at you. He's been a doctor for a long time. He…won't hurt you." It seemed to be hard for Jacob to admit that.

"Take a look at me how?"

"Maybe at the hospital." Jacob brought his hand to my cheek and stroked with his thumb. Butterflies filled my stomach, and I had to fight to keep my eyes from fluttering closed. "I mean, a vampire hit you in the head yesterday and you're walking around like it's nothing. I just want to make sure you don't have a concussion or something. Ya know, make sure your brain didn't get addled too bad."

"Jacob, I'm fine. My head is fine." I sighed. "But if it will make _you_ feel better, fine. But I'm telling you, I'm okay…I'm just weird."

Jacob grinned widely. "Weird is okay. As long as you're healthy."

I'd have to get used to this, this having someone else caring for my well-being. Aside from Michael, I hadn't had anyone to look out for me, or to worry about me when I got hurt. It wasn't a bad thing, just foreign.

* * *

We didn't have to go to the hospital - thank God - because Carlisle could tell automatically just by feeling that I was okay. The spot where I'd been hit - and my wrist, for that matter - was a little sore, but there was no evidence that I'd ever had a run-in with a vampire. I wasn't even bruised like I had thought I'd be. My back, however, still looked horrible even though the bruises had faded somewhat.

We were in the living room of Jacob's house. Billy had disappeared when the two vampires had arrived, but he hadn't complained about it. Hadn't mentioned it, period.

"So…you have visions?" I asked, looking at Alice. "You saw me?"

"In Port Angeles, killing a vampire. But I've seen you before you came here."

"How? Why did you see me before I came here? Why _would_ you?"

"I'm not really sure. But I don't usually see humans unless they're going to impact my family's life."

I let out a breath that could've been a laugh, but it wasn't. "You mean that in a bad way, don't you?"

"I don't know," she said. "I've seen you in different parts of your life. Mostly in the past few years of your life. Something must've changed your fate…altered it so you're here now."

I nodded my head. "My parents died. A vampire killed them."

Alice shared a look with Carlisle. "I didn't see that." She looked back at me, her voice softer now, less enthusiastic. "You're friends with a vampire in Port Angeles. I saw you saying you were in La Push, so I had to come see you for myself. When you're with the wolves I can't see you. I can't see past them. You just disappear."

"Oh." That was interesting and useful. "Okay, well, anyway…my vampire friend is Michael. He was my Guardian for a while. He used to belong to the Volturi and he was sent to train me when -"

"Your Guardian?" Carlisle interrupted. "You're the Vampire Hunter? You were chosen. You were bitten."

"Yeah." It didn't surprise me that he knew; most vampires knew the legend behind my existence. "When I was thirteen."

"Hm. I knew you smelled different," Carlisle said politely. "Sweeter than most."

In vampire speak, that meant my scent was more appetizing. Not encouraging when around human-drinking vampires, but at least the ones who practiced controlling their thirst could be around me without having _too_ much of a problem.

Jacob, who was sitting beside me, growled at the blond vampire warningly - he obviously got that I smelled appetizing, too - and I grabbed his hand instinctively.

"Shh," I calmed him. "He's just stating a fact. My scent _is_ sweeter than most; it's what draws the vampires in."

Alice looked between Jacob and me and her eyebrows raised slightly as if she saw something - maybe the connection I felt but couldn't explain.

"You're a lot happier than the last time we were together," Alice observed, speaking to Jacob.

Jacob shrugged. "What? I can't be in a good mood?"

"It's just a little unprecedented," Carlisle said lightly.

"Yeah, well, the last time you saw me the whole right side of my body was shattered."

I gasped a little. A whole side of his body had been shattered and he was worrying because I'd been hit in the head?

"You were hurt?" I asked.

"Yeah, vampire…" Jacob didn't have to explain any further.

"But…you look fine now."

"I heal fast," Jacob said, grinning.

Then I noticed the two vampires. Why were both of them looking at me? Did Jacob's happiness have something to do with me? An unfamiliar thrill went through me at the thought of _me_ causing him to be happy. But wait…why did I _care_ if I was the cause?

* * *

An hour later, Jacob, Sam, and the two vampires were out in the yard, testing me. It was fairly annoying because Sam could've just asked me what I could do, but he actually wanted to see. Mostly he wanted to test my strength, speed, and instinct. My body was stronger than an older vampire, but not as strong as a newborn vampire. I was strongest when I was fighting - adrenaline maybe.

The testing wasn't going too well…Carlisle didn't want to take a chance on hurting me, and I didn't want to fight him. It's not like he was hurting anybody. Alice was just standing to the side, staring off into space again. And Jacob was just there to…be there? I think he was making sure Sam didn't push me too hard, and that the vampires weren't too rough with me.

"Have you ever met anyone like me before?" I asked Carlisle and Alice. "Someone who's like a vampire but still…"

"Alive?" Carlisle asked, smiling softly.

"I didn't want to be the one to say it," I said, "but yeah."

"To answer your question, no. I've heard legends and I knew you existed, but I've never met a Hunter."

I stood still then and looked at Sam. "I'm not fighting anymore. You can ask me any questions you want, but…I'm not fighting anymore."

"We need to get back, anyway," Carlisle said. I could tell he was a peace-loving vampire. He was as close to a pacifist as a vampire could be.

After the vampires left I decided I needed to talk to Billy. I needed to know if he knew about me. I mean, he knew about the vampires and werewolves, so what was one more secret, right?

But when I began explaining, he interrupted with, "I know."

"You…know?"

"Jacob told me while you were sleeping last night."

"Oh." I was relieved I didn't have to go through it all again. Jacob had known that I hadn't wanted to repeat myself over and over and had taken care of it for me without me even having to ask. "Good."

Billy smiled kindly. "There's not much that goes on here without my knowledge."

"Oh. Again the word _good_ comes to mind."

* * *

That night I slept fitfully. I had the same recurring nightmare. It must've been because I'd been talking about myself all day. I hated this dream because I knew what was going to happen before it actually happened, but I couldn't control it; I couldn't keep it from happening. I hadn't been able to stop it in real life; I couldn't stop it in my dream. I knew the order in which the events would take place, but I couldn't do anything to change the outcome. And as always I woke up when the vampire attacked me.

"Shh, Crys, it's all right!"

Wait, that wasn't part of my dream…

I bolted upright and then felt as warm hands clasped my shoulders. I didn't have to open my eyes to know it was Jacob. No one else would've come to me just because I'd had a nightmare. How had he known I was having a nightmare, anyway? Had I been screaming? I hoped not; I hadn't screamed from that dream in a long time.

I opened my eyes and saw Jacob sitting at the edge of my bed. I grabbed one of his hands with one of my own and then reached up to cup his cheek with my other. He leaned into my touch, much like he had when he'd been in wolf form.

"Jacob." His name pretty much summed it up.

"You had another dream." His voice was careful, like he didn't know if I wanted to talk about it. He made it clear that it was up to me.

"Another?" I stalled. He hadn't been here for the last one.

"Dad told me about the other one."

"Oh," I said softly. "Right. Well, it's no big deal. I just…remember the day my parents died very clearly." It was easier to talk about it now, which made me realize that the reason it had been hard before was because I didn't have anyone to talk _to_.

"Crys." The sympathy in his voice made my throat tighten. "Do you need anything? Is there anything I can do?"

I moved slightly, letting my grip on his hand loosen, and I slid closer to him, already regretting what I was getting ready to do.

"Okay…please don't get the wrong idea, but…can you just…hold me?"

Jacob opened his arms invitingly, and I basically crawled into his lap. What was wrong with me? Was I craving attention so much that I had to crawl onto the nearest guy possible. The closest one available. But…no…I knew the answer to that before I'd even finished the question. It wasn't just any guy I was craving attention from. It was only Jacob. Jacob who was holding me tightly against his bare chest. I couldn't bring myself to pull away. But I had to make one thing clear.

"I don't…I don't do this. I'm not…" God, why couldn't I talk? "I'm not like this usually. I don't let guys do this. Get this close…I don't let people get close. I didn't want you to think that I just…do this."

"I would never think that about you. I know you, Crys."

I nodded because he _did_, but I hadn't wanted him to…get any ideas like that. Then I switched back to the present problem.

"They're dead because of me," I whispered. "I guess guilt is the reason I keep dreaming about it."

"It's not your fault. You can't control what anybody else does."

"You know, I've had the dream three times since I came back here. Being here in La Push…my mom loved it here. It reminds me of her so much."

He pushed me away slowly and I grabbed onto his arms - and what nice arms they were.

"Crys…"

"Wait. I watched them get…" I swallowed against the burning in my throat. "Well, Dad was drained and then Mom…it was quick for her."

"And you had to watch…" His voice almost did me in. It was like he was feeling my pain directly.

I nodded, closing my eyes. "It really messed with my head, Jacob."

"Well, sure, I would be worried if it _didn't_."

I bit my lip, tearing the skin off. "I haven't felt right or whole since that night. I haven't…felt like I belonged anywhere. But now that I'm here…I feel like I'm at home again."

I looked up at him and found his expression was guarded.

"What?"

"You feel at home?"

"Well, yeah," I said, slumping against him a little. "I'm so tired. Those tests really wore me out."

Jacob took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Something was obviously on his mind.

"What?" I forced myself into a sitting position. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

"I know. I just…I'm trying to think of a way to say this without scaring you."

"I think I can handle it," I said lightly.

"Okay. I feel…connected to you. From the second I saw you at the airport something just clicked, ya know?"

I remembered the look on his face the day he'd picked me up from the airport terminal. He _had_ looked like something had clicked inside him. In the present, his grip loosened as I tensed in his arms.

"Don't be afraid," he pleaded. "You don't ever have to be afraid with me." I felt his heart speed up; I could hear it, too. "I'm not…asking you for anything. I would never -"

My fingertips found their way to his lips and he stopped talking.

"I'm not afraid. I…felt it, too. I don't know what it is, but I can feel it." I removed my fingers from his lips, and I could've sworn he looked disappointed. "And I obviously like you…a little bit, or I wouldn't let you get this close. And I've _always_ trusted you. Probably more than I've ever trusted anyone else."

_Okay, mouth, shut up now_! I told myself.

"Well, that's something." Jacob made it sound like he hadn't expected me to say that and it was more than he'd ever hoped for. I'd never seen Jacob so unsure of himself, but since I'd found out about the wolf thing it had just been one uncertainty after another with him. He was obviously self-conscious about it. Or about himself, period. He just didn't show it very often.

"Yeah, it's something."

"But like I said…I'm not asking you for anything. This'll be whatever you want it to be. Okay? I didn't bring up my…connection just so you'd feel obligated to…acknowledge it."

"I know that."

Jacob wouldn't do that, I know. I may have missed five years of his life, but I know he wasn't manipulative like that. Even if he was, he wouldn't have been with me.

* * *

I didn't go back to sleep that night, but Jacob stayed with me so it was an even trade. That was until I realized I was probably keeping him from more important things.

"Oh, you probably have patrol or something, huh?"

"Actually, I told Sam I needed a few days off. You've been through a lot the last couple days. I needed to make sure you were okay."

"You _told_ Sam? I thought _he_ was the Alpha."

A small smile played across his lips and it caught my attention, but then I looked away, blushing. I shouldn't have been noticing his lips. I didn't do things like that. Or…I hadn't.

"Yeah, he is. But some things override that. Like…you."

"Me?"

"Well, the connection, really."

"It's stronger than Alpha's orders?"

"A lot stronger. It…" He looked like he wanted to explain something, but he closed his mouth instead.

"What? I won't freak out."

"Yeah, well, just keep in mind that I'm not telling you this to force you into anything."

"Yeah, Jacob. I know that," I said gently, reassuringly.

"Okay, the first thing you need to know - that has nothing to do with our connection - is that as long as I keep phasing, I won't age."

I smiled softly when he looked at me to gauge my reaction. "Well, that's good, isn't it? I mean, with our connection as strong as it is, it would kill me if anything happened to you. Right? And vice-versa?"

"Most like -" he broke off. "Wait, what?"

"I won't age, either, Jacob. I'm eternally eighteen. I can be killed, but I won't age."

"Hm." Jacob seemed pleased with that concept. Not the me-being-killed part, but the me-not-aging part. "Anyway, our connection…it's a wolf thing. It's called imprinting. It's like love-at-first-sight. Only stronger."

"Um…what?" I wasn't following. I mean, I was, but…I wasn't at the same time.

"Well, it's how us wolves know who we're meant to be with. It's how we know who our soul mate is."

"And you…when you saw me…the wolf part of you went 'that's the one for me'?"

Jacob grinned and shook his head. "Not just the wolf part. I mean, yes, that was the part that let me know, but…anyway, it's not romantic in nature. Um, Quil imprinted on a two-year-old, which means she'll have the best baby-sitter ever. And the best big brother. Then when she's older, if she chooses him…the best partner for her."

"If? If Quil would be the best choice why would his imprint choose someone else?" And was he talking about Claire? I'd seen her at Sam's the other day and Quil had gravitated right to her and her eyes had lit up just seeing him.

"The main thing for me - and the rest of the pack - is to keep their imprints safe and happy."

"Oh…so, if, say, Kim chose someone else…Jared wouldn't stop her?"

"Not if it made her happy. It would just about kill Jared, though. Because once we find our…mates…there is no one else. It's like our lives center around that person. And everything else just fades away."

"So…all you see is me?" I asked softly, and maybe slightly awed. How could Jacob feel that way about me? How could anyone?

Jacob swallowed and my gaze traveled to his neck before I caught myself and looked back up at him.

"Yes." Vulnerability leaked through his voice. It made me wonder who had rejected him in the past to make him self-conscious now.

"And you're not expecting anything from me?"

"No more than you're willing to give. I'll be whatever you need me to be."

I smiled kindly, even as my stomach started getting that butterfly feeling again. "Okay, well…I'm not sure how I feel about the whole soul mate thing…but I'm not opposed to the idea of spending time with you. I already feel closer to you than anyone else I've known. Parents included."

"It doesn't scare you?"

"Should it?" Jacob only continued looking at me. "Okay, fine. Slightly. But no more than if someone normal had told me that. I mean, I'm not used to being the center of anyone's universe. It's gonna take some getting used to."

"You mean you're not used to people taking care of you."

"That too," I said sheepishly, looking at the bed sheet. "But, Jacob, I've spent the majority of the last five years fighting or…training. Staying alive. When I told you it's been like one fight after another, I meant that very literally."

I brought my hand up and stroked his overheated cheek with my fingers.

"I meant it when I said I'm not sure I know how to be close to people. For the longest time I wasn't allowed to be."

I slid my hand down to his shoulder and continued down his very well-defined arm and grabbed his hand.

"I want you to teach me…okay?"

"Uh-huh." His voice was breathy and I sort of liked it that way. When I looked at him, I…blushed. He was staring at me in awe…it was almost reverent. Like I was…his own personal miracle.

It sent a thrill through me. It was familiar now. Every time Jacob thought something good about me - when I noticed, anyway - it made me tingly.

Jacob began to caress the back of my hand and I focused on our joined hands. The heat was nice. It wasn't overwhelming like it probably should've been. Jacob actually lulled me back to a peaceful sleep just by rubbing the back of my hand. I noticed, as I drifted, that it was light outside.

And I wondered if he'd be there when I woke up.

* * *

I know it probably seems like they're moving a little fast, but they're really not. They've known each other forever, and I swear this isn't gonna be one of those 'you imprinted on me? Okay, lets have sex,' stories. They're not even together yet. LOL. And while writing this chapter and mentioning the whole manipulating thing, I will touch on the fact that yes, Jacob did sort of manipulate Bella into kissing him, and he did force her to kiss him the first time, but Crystal is his IMPRINT which would probably make it impossible for him to do that to her because it's NOT what's best for HER. He would never do anything to intentionally hurt her. Like poor Sam, with the whole Emily thing...he never would've done that on purpose. So it's the same basic concept, different situation. Anyway...let me know what you think. Oh, and I wasn't too sure about the whole self-conscious issue with Jacob, but I figured the whole Bella situation would've made him at least a little...low in the self-esteem department. Fear of rejection, and all that.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, so as a recap: in the last chapter Jacob told her about the imprinting process and all that good stuff (Or bad depending on how you look at it.)

Chapter Five

Jacob wasn't there when I woke up, and I was actually glad he wasn't. That would've been too weird for me right now. It would've been too fast for me. _Way_ too fast. And too intimate.

Speaking of intimate…my conversation with Jacob came rushing back to me. I'd been having my usual nightmare and he'd actually come to see if I was okay, which wasn't bad in and of itself because he was Jacob and he'd been worried, so of course he'd come to check on me. But I'd let him _hold_ me. Why had I done that?

Oh, right. Because I had this undeniable, irresistible bond with him. What had he called it? Imprinting. He'd explained it all and he'd said that the girls had a choice, they didn't have to be with their wolf. But if the other Imprintees felt as connected to their…mate?…as I did to Jacob, how did they choose someone else? How did they even _think_ of choosing someone else?

Oh, and I'd stopped him from talking by putting my fingers on his lips - his soft, full lips. I'd touched his lips, and I shouldn't have allowed myself to do that. Or…touch him at all, really.

And…love at first sight? Really? I didn't know if I _wanted_ Jacob to love me just because he imprinted on me. I mean…if he hadn't imprinted, if he wasn't a wolf…would he have loved me anyway?

He'd always cared about me, of course, because we'd been close as children, and he _had_ said I was his soul mate, which meant…I didn't exactly know what it meant. Jacob had said that the moment he'd seen me there was no thought of anyone else, his life now centered around me. All he could see was me now.

The best part was that he didn't want anything from me that I wasn't willing to give. It wasn't a 'you're my imprint, now you belong to me' thing; it was a 'you're my imprint and I'm gonna keep you safe and happy' thing.

The worst part was he'd sounded so vulnerable and young, and I'd heard how scared he'd been that he had made me afraid of him because of something he'd had no control over. It was awe-inspiring, the amount of tenderness and concern Jacob could show me. I'd gotten more affection from him in the small amount of time I'd been here than I had from all my Guardians combined.

And I was…aware…of him. I'd always cared about him - because as I'd said, we'd been close - but now it was like my feelings had been frozen inside until I'd come here, and now they were thawing out, flowing freely through me. And I wasn't exactly sure what to do about it.

What if I told him I liked him and then something happened - something that split us apart? Or…what if it made things awkward between us? Things were easy now, but telling him I wouldn't mind working up to a relationship might ruin it.

But then again…if I was his soul mate then he'd be happy that I was willing to try, right? Or maybe he'd just think I'd made a snap decision because of his explanation and then he wouldn't agree to it, anyway. So maybe I shouldn't tell him anything at all.

Deciding to stop obsessing over it, I got up, gathered my clothes for the day and went to take a shower. Maybe it would clear my head.

* * *

The shower _didn't_ clear my head, but…it was refreshing and nice all the same. Although, warm showers were always nice.

As always, I went in search of Jacob. I vaguely wondered if he'd be on patrol right now until I remembered he'd taken a few days off. He wasn't in the house, so I said hi to Billy - feeling sort of bad that I was spending more time with his son than I was with Billy - and then stepped outside. The garage door was open so that's where I went, and that's where Jacob was. The hood to his Rabbit was up, and I couldn't exactly see what he was doing…not that I would know, anyway. I was completely clueless when it came to things that were underneath the hood of a car.

"Whatcha doin'?" I asked softly, not wanting to startle him. Then I remembered he'd probably heard me coming.

"Checking the oil and stuff," he said. He gestured to a car-less backseat. "You can sit if you want."

So I did, taking in my surroundings - the last time I'd been in here I'd been too nervous about meeting new people to take much in. Mostly there were just car parts lying around. The garage was big enough for at least three cars, plus a bunch of other stuff, so there was plenty of moving space.

I could hear rain beginning to hit the roof of the garage. It hadn't been raining before, and I was glad it had waited until I'd gotten inside. Even though my hair was already wet from the shower I'd had.

"So…about the imprinting thing…" I started.

Jacob tensed slightly under the hood of this car. "Yeah?"

"The soul mate thing…what exactly does that mean?"

"What d'you mean?"

"Well, I know you said that it's like love at first sight, only…more. That now that I'm here there is no one else for you. But why me?"

_That_ was the million dollar question for me. Why me? What made me so special? Why did _I_ deserve someone as good as Jacob? And more importantly, why had Jacob been burdened with someone like me? I couldn't be good for him. I wasn't good for anyone.

Jacob stood up straight and turned to me. "No one really knows why it happens. Some think it's like we're two puzzle pieces and we fit together perfectly. Others think it works like an actual _mating_ thing. We pick people who are best to pass on the wolf-gene."

"Hm. I like the puzzle theory better," I said lightly. "It doesn't sound so…primitive."

He came to sit by me, and I turned so my body was facing him. I noticed he had grease stains on his pants. It was a good look for him.

"Is it hard to be around me? Because of the Imprint thing?"

"Not hard, exactly. But there's always the wolf part…" he started, but trailed off.

"What?"

"It keeps telling me you're…well…mine," he finished sheepishly, like it was a bad thing, or he thought _I'd_ think it was bad. And okay, maybe the imprint thing was a 'you're my imprint, and you belong to me' thing, but if Jacob hadn't told me I wouldn't have known. He didn't let it show much.

I smiled softly and fought against making it wider. "Yours?"

"Well, yeah. That's bad, right? You just got back not too long ago, and everything's happening so fast I'm surprised your brain hasn't exploded from information overload."

"It is strange," I admitted. "Although there are worse things I could be considered as."

Jacob was more pleased by that statement than I thought he'd be. It was good that it didn't make him upset, me asking him to talk about this.

"So…me and the others were thinking about going to First Beach the next time the weather's nice, which…could be a while, but do you wanna go?"

It didn't take long to decide. If Jacob was going to be there then, yes, I definitely wanted to go. Plus, I knew Jacob wanted to go and if I didn't, he wouldn't leave me here unprotected.

"I'd love to go to the beach with you, Jacob."

His smile was huge and his eyes were bright and I looked down shyly, my face breaking into a big smile of its own.

"Hey, Crys?" His voice was inquisitive now.

"Yeah?" I asked, looking back up, smile still on my face.

"Why do you call me Jacob, and not Jake?"

"Oh, um…I don't know. You've always been Jacob to me. Besides…everyone calls you Jake, so I wanna call you Jacob. Because I'm me, and that's what I call you."

* * *

After the imprinting discussion, Jacob and I became - I didn't want to say inseparable…but - inseparable. Not in a relationship kind of way, but in a friendship sort of way. It was easy to talk to him, even easier to sit without talking. I was just comfortable with him, more at ease, more peaceful than I'd ever been in my life. Including when my parents had been alive.

I never had to worry about being hurt when I was with him. He'd never lay a hand on me…or a paw, as it may well be at some point. I could tell _he_ was worried about hurting me, though. He'd even told me that Sam had caused Emily's face to be disfigured. Sam hadn't meant to, of course, but he'd been angry and had lost control of his inner wolf. I hadn't known what to say to that, but I'd felt a jolt of sympathy for both Sam and Emily. I was sure Sam had almost killed himself with self-hatred over that.

But even then, after hearing the Sam and Emily horror story, I couldn't bring myself to fear Jacob. He was just so…sweet and adorable. Like a puppy. And despite his height and size, he didn't seem threatening at all until he phased.

The more time I spent with Jacob, though, the more I realized that he noticed things about me that most people wouldn't. I noticed him noticing me a lot.

He'd picked up on the fact that I liked my hair down rather than up, even though it rained all the time here and I thought I looked like a drowned cat when I got drenched.

He noticed my moods. He understood me better than I understood myself sometimes. He noticed how all my clothes were loose on me, and he knew it was because I didn't like drawing unnecessary attention to myself. Also, it was convenient when I had to fight. Freedom to move and all that. Underneath the clothes I was quite curvy, but I hid behind things that were too big for me.

He noticed how self-conscious my existence made me, noticed how I _hated_ fighting vampires, but that I wouldn't allow myself to stop. He noticed that out of everything I'd been through, the fighting part was the thing I least wanted to talk about. He stopped asking after he realized it upset me to talk about killing, period. Even though the things I killed were technically dead already, it still bothered me, the concept of taking an existence and putting an end to it. But I was saving future victims in the process, so I couldn't be all bad, right?

Jacob, however, wasn't the only one noticing things. Meaning, I noticed stuff, too.

Jacob had puppy-dog eyes, which I guess fit since he was a werewolf. He could seriously use them to his advantage if he wanted to. He could make the saddest, pitiful looking expressions sometimes, yet when he smiled it was the most beautiful thing in the world. And he had the body of a sex god…not that I would ever tell _him_ that. But I hoped he never actually…you know. He was _much_ too young for _that_. Well, maybe not. He was eighteen, and people were doing it way before that age nowadays, but still…I felt a weird sort of twinge in my gut when I thought about him being with someone in that way. And I didn't even want him in that way. Was that jealously? I didn't like it. It was irrational and stupid.

Besides, if I had to refer to the act of love-making as 'that way' I was fairly certain I wasn't ready to want anyone…that way. Not to sound repetitive or anything.

"You're blushing," Jacob's voice broke through my semi-perverted thoughts. "What's up?"

"Nothing," I said too quickly. "Um…just…nothing."

"Uh-huh," Jacob remarked in disbelief. He smirked, but he didn't push.

We were washing clothes and I was sitting on top of the dryer; he still towered over me. And he'd turned his back like a gentlemen when I'd begun loading my under things in. He'd even blushed. He got embarrassed - flustered - by girl's clothing? It was adorable.

Although, everything he did was adorable or beautiful to me. Even when he was close to losing control - but I only liked that because my touch could calm him, bring him back down to earth.

"You're doing it again," Jacob said, amused.

"Doing what?" I asked innocently, though I was already pretty sure I knew what he meant.

"Blushing," he explained gently. "What _are_ you thinking about?" And now with the teasing.

"Thoughts," I deadpanned. "I'm thinking thoughts."

Jacob rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Well, thanks for clearing that up for me."

"Uh-huh."

I grinned widely, feeling that peaceful happy feeling that I'd become accustomed to since I'd come back here. His expression softened; it always did when I showed genuine happiness. He'd said it was his goal to make me happy, and I was smiling now so obviously I was happy, which…made him happy? Made him feel good about himself, like he was doing something right?

I had so much to learn about this imprint thing. It was strong, I knew that. But how strong? If Jacob hadn't been joking when he said he'd die without me…it had to be super strong. And super dangerous, because I could die any time I fought a vampire. I didn't want his happiness depending on my life, especially since it was so unpredictable. That didn't change the fact that I liked him, though.

I grabbed his hand with mine and swallowed nervously. "I was, um…thinking about you, actually."

His eyes widened slightly. "Your thoughts about me were worth blushing over?"

"Yes," I said firmly. "I've been thinking about you a lot lately."

"Why?"

"Because I like you. Obviously."

"Crys…"

"Don't," I said softly. "I know what you're going to say. Imprinting…yadda, yadda, yadda." He smirked. "But that's not why _I_ like _you_, right? I mean…from what you said…I have a choice here. And I know you didn't consciously choose me, but I _do_ like you. Enough to be jealous of you being with someone else."

"That'll never happen. Not since I found you."

"Yeah. And yet…jealousy has a mind of its own sometimes."

"So…" Jacob looked down at me intensely. "What are you saying?"

"That I like you," I said smartly, smiling sweetly. I then decided I should actually explain this one. "Look…I don't know how this works, exactly. I've never been close enough to anyone to even consider wanting to be with them…but I consider that a lot with you."

"Oh. So, if we were to get together, I'd be your first boyfriend?" Jacob seemed to like that more than was completely necessary. Must've been a wolf thing. Wolves - real wolves - were territorial, I'd heard, so maybe this pack was like that, too.

"Guys have never really appealed to me before now." Okay, that was mostly true. Sure, I'd seen guys that were cute, but I'd never allowed myself to get too close, because I was a dangerous person to be around. "Funny how the guy that I'm most comfortable with is someone who can turn into a wolf…and tear vampires apart."

"I'd call that ironic, yeah. Maybe you should rethink things."

I shook my head. "When I think of you, all I feel is safe and peaceful. No matter whether you're in wolf-form or not. I even felt safe around your wolf-form before I knew it was you." I realized I was still holding his hand, and I began caressing his palm. "We would have to go very slow…because I don't know what I'm doing, but I wouldn't be opposed to the idea of…being yours. Ya know…if you want to."

"If?" Jacob rolled his eyes. "There's not even a question of _if_."

I laughed light-heartedly. "Yeah? Good. So…what happens now?" A date was required, yes? Though I didn't feel like the dating type of girl. I felt more like the just-hanging-out kind of girl. Skipping the awkward first date sounded good.

Jacob looked self-conscious again. I knew that meant he was either embarrassed about something or he was scared he might make me afraid of him.

"What?" I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. I was here and I wasn't going anywhere.

"Um…I'm not exactly an expert at this, either. I've never actually, ya know…_dated_ before."

I blinked in shock. "Really?" How did someone _that_ good-looking not date?

"Is that…okay?" Jacob asked, hushed. He was probably thinking if I wanted someone with experience, he'd get some experience just to make me happy.

"Yeah," I said, quickly reassuring him. "I was surprised, is all. Because…well, was that your doing? I mean, you must've had loads of girls following you around."

Jacob's cheeks flushed. "Not so much."

"Are the girls here blind?" I asked, stunned. "I mean, I figured you'd be a real heartbreaker."

Jacob shook his head. "Nah, more like the heartbroken." A guarded look came over his features.

"But you said…"

"No relationships, and I haven't had one. It was lack of one that hurt." Jacob then smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Probably a good thing, considering you came back here, huh?"

"You would've still imprinted even if you'd been with someone you love?" That didn't seem fair, somehow.

"Yeah. You still would've been my soul mate, and I still would've sensed it."

"And you would've left…whoever she is. That sucks, not having a choice."

"Yeah, which is why I'm gung-ho about giving you one."

"Thank you. But I've already decided." I smiled softly. "Pay attention."

His expression turned incredulous. "That's it? No questions?"

"About what?"

"The girl."

I smiled again - I was almost constantly doing that around him. "No. I figure if you want me to know, you'll tell me."

Jacob nodded. "And I will tell you. Someday."

* * *

Someday came about a week later. Jacob and I, along with the rest of the pack - some, I didn't know that were younger - were finally able to go to First Beach, the beach in La Push. The crescent-shaped shoreline was maybe a mile long. Multi-colored rocks liked the shore, leading to sand, which led to the water. There was salt-white driftwood everywhere.

As with everything in La Push, the beach was beautiful. It was even surrounded by the forest. Everything was green here, after all, so it was only natural for there to be woods here. The water was gray and there were cliffy-island things out in the distance. I didn't know anything about geography, so I had no idea what their names were.

I'd been in La Push for almost two months now - I'd arrived in the middle of June, it was now the beginning of August - and it still didn't seem real to me, that I was _happy_. It was new, this happy feeling, but I'd slowly become used to it. And I knew who my newfound happiness was tied to, but I didn't care. _I was happy_.

Since we were at the beach, and we'd been waiting for nice weather, it was at least sunny. It was in the high sixties, maybe, but Jacob was warm enough to make me feel like I was in Sunny California. The pack actually had their shirts on today. There might be other visitors to the beach and they didn't want to draw attention to themselves by just walking around half-naked. And they _would_ draw attention because none of the wolves were what anyone could call ugly.

Jacob and I were walking down the shoreline, just out of reach of the water. He was being quiet, which wasn't abnormal in and of itself, but he had this look like he didn't know whether he should speak or not.

"What?" I asked gently. "What is it?"

"That girl…" He looked at me, judging my reaction. "Can I talk about her now?"

"Of course you can." I grabbed his hand and his lips turned up slightly. "You don't need permission to speak. You can tell me anything."

"Yeah? Okay?" He sighed. "Well, her name is Bella. We became friends - good friends. At first she was with someone else and so I told myself she was off limits. Then he left and we grew closer. I made her happier…I kept her alive. She used me; I _let_ her use me. I thought if I gave her enough…she'd choose me. But she never did."

Jacob was speaking casually about it, like it was in the past. I felt a surge of pain, though, that he'd gone through it. He was just nice enough to put up with that.

"Then _he_ came back, she went back to him, we stayed friends, and they're getting married this month."

And somehow I knew it was so much more complicated than that.

"And now you're…alone."

"Not alone," he said, shaking our joined hands as if in reminder. "I've got you now."

"Yeah, but…she just left you?"

"She's in love," Jacob said as if that explained everything. "Edward Cullen is her soul mate, like you're mine."

"Cullen?" I stopped walking, shocked. "But…the Cullens are vampires." _Way to state the obvious there, Crys_.

Jacob nodded slowly. "Yeah, and Bella will be turned into one. _That_ was my main problem. It still bothers me, just not as much."

"Are you…going to their wedding?"

"I don't know. You know, I don't wanna make it harder for her."

"Oh." I bit my lip. "If…they turn her then…won't that cause a war? I mean, the treaty…"

"Well, if the treaty holds…it will be broken. They'll have to leave Forks and never come back. But then on the other hand, it's Bella's choice, so we might let the treaty go just this once."

"Oh." Wow, I was particularly loquacious today. "Jacob, I'm sorry."

"Yeah. You know, before I knew you were coming I thought of running away. But I knew you'd be able to make me feel better. You always did."

I looked away as a smile broke out on my face. I made him feel better, and I wasn't even trying. How awesome was that? I felt suddenly excited and gleeful.

Then I came back to reality and got my face back together. I went over everything he'd just said, sorting through it in my head.

I understood the Bella-wanting-to-be-a-vampire thing because she was human, so the only way they could be together forever was if she was turned. What I didn't understand was why anyone would choose someone who'd left them. But then again…I didn't know all the details, so I shouldn't judge. I was just feeling bad for the pain my Jacob had gone through.

My Jacob? Where the hell had that come from? But technically it was true, yes?

Shaking my head, I thought back to this _Bella_. Had she been insane? Or blind? How could anyone walk out on Jacob? No sane female could look at Jacob - half-naked or otherwise - and just…walk away. No matter who it was for. There was no way that Jacob, with a body like his and a bright smile and puppy-dog eyes would even be put in the same category as Edward. Jacob's category was much higher. Even though I'd never seen this Edward.

It was like I'd said before…I was feeling very protective of my Jacob, feeling bad for what he went through. If Jacob had been as nice to her as he was to me, had treated her as good as he treated me, _how_ in the world had she rejected him?

Jacob squeezed my hand again, bringing me out of my thoughts. I smiled sweetly at him. That's when I realized how close we were - physically close - and I looked up at him. Wow, he was tall. I had to strain my neck just to see him properly.

The wind picked up and my hair whipped around my face. Jacob brought his free hand up to tuck the freely flowing hair behind my ear. He wasn't even touching my skin and I could already feel the warmth. I leaned toward his palm so our skin actually touched.

My breath caught and I had to force myself to focus on pulling in oxygen so I wouldn't pass out. Did I really need to remind myself to breathe?

Definitely.

Jacob's fingertips caressed slowly down my jaw and I felt myself shiver. I swallowed nervously because I knew - _knew_ - he was going to kiss me now. Or I was hoping - sort of.

His thumb trailed lightly over my bottom lip, and I shook again. It was like an electric current was passing from him to me and I couldn't help the reaction my body was having.

"Jacob…" I whispered, moving a little closer to him.

"Crys," he said, just as softly.

He leaned in, his hand sliding to my neck instead of my face. He did it slowly, and he gave me plenty of time to turn away. But I didn't, and our lips connected gently, and my eyes fluttered closed. It was a barely there, butterfly kiss, and I could tell this was enough for him for now.

My body had other ideas, however. After our lips had connected I felt my nervousness slip away. The closeness didn't bother me. It had the opposite affect; I wanted to pull him closer. So I did.

The kiss was a little awkward because he was so tall, but I stood on my tiptoes and he didn't seem to mind leaning down. I brought my free hand up and circled it around the back of his neck and let my fingers play in his hair. It was so soft, silky almost.

I could tell, though, that Jacob was tentative. This was like a trial run, and he was willing to pull away if I needed him to, but I didn't. I opened my lips just a smidge, and I licked across his bottom lip just to get a taste and was surprised when he gasped…in pleasure? Hopefully.

With his mouth open, and my mouth open, he hesitantly slid his tongue against mine, barely pushing past my lips. He massaged my tongue with his own lightly, gently. It took maybe a second - mostly because I wasn't sure what to do - to respond, but then I did.

Jacob didn't push past anything I wasn't willing to give, and the kiss only lasted maybe ten seconds, but we were both panting when it was over. And I was shaking. That kiss, as light as it had been, had been soul-searing, life-changing. It had been like…coming home.

"You okay?" Jacob asked. "Was that too much?"

"No," I quickly reassured him. "No. That was…just enough."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned against his very warm chest - I smiled when I realized his heart was racing - and then his arms returned the favor. I didn't want him to ever let go.

* * *

The kiss we'd shared hadn't changed anything between me and Jacob, thankfully. Things weren't awkward between us at all. If anything, things were easier. And Jacob seemed happier than I'd ever seen him. I had a hard time believing I was the cause, but…I was.

We'd kissed twice more, and each time Jacob was heartbreakingly gently. And when I say heartbreaking, I mean it because other than Michael and my parents, no one had ever cared whether they hurt me or not. But Jacob did.

I was slowly learning that the rest of the pack considered me theirs, too. Not in the same way as Jacob did, of course, but I was part of the family now. I got along best with Seth and Embry. Embry was still shyer than the rest, and Seth was just adorable and fun-loving. Nothing could keep him down. He saw Jacob as a big brother type figure, and so whenever Jacob went on patrol Sam let Seth go with him.

It was for my sake, and Leah's. Leah was Seth's older sister and she had an almost maternal love for Seth. I hadn't spent much time with her because she didn't seem too forthcoming with the niceness, but it still made us feel better, less nervous to know they weren't alone. I knew Jacob couldn't be hurt easily and he could take care of himself, but still…I'd grown attached to him and I didn't want anything happening to him. Or the rest of the pack, for that matter.

* * *

About four days after our first kiss I woke up early - mostly because I knew Jacob would come back from patrol - and I wanted to fix breakfast for him and Billy. I knew once Jacob got back he'd want food and sleep. I could take care of the food part.

I heard when he came through the front door and walked into the kitchen.

"Hey," he said, and I realized just how much I liked his voice. It was deep - and at times husky - and soothing. Every time I heard it, something inside me melted into a river of peace. That sounded way corny, but there it was.

"Hey," I said. "What d'you want to eat?"

"What d'you wanna fix?" he countered.

"Well…pancakes and eggs? Bacon, maybe?"

"Mm…" As if on cue, his stomach growled.

"And double or triple servings of everything?" I asked, amused.

Then suddenly he was right there in front of me. I was caught between him and the counter, but I didn't care. His presence was always welcome. He placed on hand on the countertop and the other he tilted my chin up with and then, suddenly, his lips were hovering over mine, and I was breathing him in. His scent was woodsy, spicy, and masculine. It was a little overwhelming…and addictive.

"I've been wanting to kiss you since I left."

I grinned playfully, and blushed a little. "Then what's stopping you now?"

That's when he pressed his lips firmly against mine. We fit perfectly and he was all for me. His tongue soon found a place inside my mouth and I had to suppress a moan. Because even though he'd never been in a relationship…he was a _great_ kisser. He'd learned very quickly how to make me tremble just from this. It was…amazing and hot and exciting.

My fingers traveled to the back of his head just like from the first kiss. I liked playing with his hair - I'd even played with it when we were younger, only not in this context. I massaged his scalp lightly and gasped when that made him press me more firmly against the counter. I guessed he liked me playing with his hair, too.

I gasped again when he nipped at my bottom lip. It wasn't hard enough to sting, but he licked at it like it had been.

"Jacob," I whispered against him, kissing him quickly one last time. Things were getting too intense for me way too fast. My body was doing unfamiliar things. My breasts were heavier and I felt moisture between my legs.

I was…aroused. Just from that? Or…I was in a state of pre-arousal. It wasn't bad…it was even quite pleasant if I could get past the achy-but-good feeling that I was having. But I didn't want to mess things up by moving too fast and doing something neither of us were ready for.

"I'm gonna fix breakfast now." Before Billy could come in and catch me trying to molest his son.

"You want help?"

"You've been up all night. I can handle it."

Jacob didn't help cook, but he did stay near the counter, leaning back against it. He wanted me close, I guessed. It made me warm. Or it made my heart warm, anyway.

* * *

That night Jacob pretty much took me by surprise by asking me to the movies.

"Oh…um…" As I said, I was surprised.

"You don't have to," Jacob said quickly. "It's just, I wanna do something…date-like. Dinner and a movie…it's a time honored tradition. And I want to do this right." He said the last part shyly and I had to think it was adorable.

I smiled softly and grabbed his hand. "No, I mean…it's fine. I just…I hope you know I don't _need_ any of that. Dates and stuff aren't a have to, ya know? And I don't _ever _want flowers."

"Right. Who needs dates when you're surrounded by vampires and werewolves," he quipped.

I laughed lightly, shaking my head. "Well, when you put it that way…"

"A date sounds pretty good, right?"

"Right."

I let go of his hand, and since Billy was already in bed, I snuggled up to Jacob. We were in the living room on the couch.

"Crys, why don't you want flowers?"

That was easy to answer. "Because they die, and the artificial ones don't mean as much." He didn't say anything to that and so I got more comfortable. "You make a very comfortable pillow," I said honestly, moving my head against him, much like a cat does its owner. I could very easily fall asleep like this, the way I was positioned against him, his arm wrapped around me.

I hadn't been lying, it was very comfortable…but it was more than that. I was safe and secure here. I was…loved. And _that_ was the strangest and best part.

* * *

I ended up falling asleep on the couch, and the only reason I knew that was because I felt when Jacob lifted me into his arms to carry me to my room.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned my head against his shoulder. Before he placed ey on my bed I lightly touched his skin with my lips.

"Stay, please?" I whispered. "For a little while?"

He smiled affectionately at me. "All right. As long as my dad doesn't catch us."

Like Billy would really care. He was easygoing like that.

I moved to the far edge of the bed - it was a twin - so I was against the wall and Jacob slid in. I didn't need the covers because - duh - he was 108 degrees. I didn't want to roast myself. I moved closer to Jacob and placed my head on his chest. Then I remembered the wolf part of him and I lifted my head up a little.

"Is this okay?" I asked. "I mean, is the wolf part of you okay?"

Jacob seemed amused by my questions. "My wolf side is fairly satisfied."

"Yeah? Good. Because I was just thinking it might be hard for the animal side of you to be so close to me without…ya know…Ya know?" He _did_ know what I was getting at, right?

"Oh, you mean…" Jacob's tone gave away his uncomfortableness at the subject. "I would never…do anything you didn't want me to. No matter what the animal part of me wanted."

"But I mean…is that even how it works?"

Jacob sighed. "Not so far. I mean…there're certain things that bring the wolf out in _that_ way, but mostly, the only time we have to control ourselves is when we're angry. But, Crys, even if that were a problem…I would never do that. Okay? _This_ - us being together? - I haven't felt as peaceful as this since before I phased for the first time."

He began rubbing over my arm soothingly, and it wasn't long before I drifted back to sleep.

* * *

I woke up the next morning, the length of my body pressed up against Jacob's side, my head resting on his chest. Apparently, I hadn't moved at all through the night. His overheated body felt deliciously warm against mine, even though I could tell I was sweating.

I opened my eyes and saw he instantly looked at me when I moved a little.

"Hi," I said, smiling.

"Hi." He smiled, too, my favorite smile. The bright genuine one that lit up the area around him.

I absentmindedly ran my fingers over the muscles in his abdomen. The muscles twitched and he sucked in a breath.

My fingers stilled. "Is this okay?" I asked self-consciously. "The rubbing, I mean."

"It's…" he trailed off, and his eyes closed. "Don't stop."

I smiled at the breathlessness of his voice and continued exploring his stomach and chest with my fingers.

* * *

Okay, so...hope you enjoyed the update. Review, and let me know what you think. :) Thank you.


	6. Chapter 6

Okay, as usual...I don't own Twilight or anything associated with it. I own the characters that aren't really in the book and this plot. And sadly...I don't own Jacob. Believe me if I did, I WOULD NOT be wasting time writing about him. Nope.

Chapter Six

A couple days had passed since Jacob had asked me to go to the movies with him. We hadn't set anything officially, but we were working on it. We were at the beach now, though, and it was misting. Leah and Seth had opted to come with Jacob and me - a precaution, most likely. I didn't really know why Leah was here; last I'd checked she didn't really like me all that much. But I'd learned she didn't like a lot of things, so…

Around mid-day Michael - my vampire friend - came by. On Quileute land. Did he have a death wish? How had he gotten past the other wolves, anyway. Couldn't they smell him? I understood why Jacob, Leah, and Seth hadn't smelled him. The wind was blowing away from us, so the scent was going the opposite direction.

Before Leah and Seth could phase I told them to wait. Jacob already knew why, but the others didn't.

"Why? He's not allowed on our land," Leah seethed.

"I had to come," Michael said, looking at me and ignoring Leah. "I needed to talk to you and I had no other way to get in touch with you."

Jacob was the one who spoke then. "What d'you want?" He stared at Michael. "And how long is it going to take?"

I knew the only reason the three wolves hadn't torn Michael apart yet was because his golden brown eyes gave away the fact that he didn't hurt humans.

"Michael, you said you needed to talk to me?" I asked, stepping forward. "What is it?" Please hurry before another one of the wolves catches your scent. Someone else probably wouldn't understand. Or wait to understand.

He sighed softly, and a regular human wouldn't have heard it. Michael was nervous. I knew him well enough to know that.

"Look, I don't really like putting myself here around a bunch of things that want to tear me apart so I'll make this quick. You need to be careful."

I had winced when he'd called Jacob a _thing_, but then I regained focus at his last statement. "Careful?"

"The Volturi contacted me a couple days ago. They're looking for you."

"Contacted?" I asked. "They're _here_?" That was bad. They were after me and they'd come here. They'd found me.

"No, no, no," Michael rushed soothingly and I was relieved. "By letter. They contacted me by letter. But they _are_ looking for you. They want you back."

I tensed and Jacob immediately wrapped an arm around my shoulders. It did little to calm me down, but sometimes a little was enough.

"They probably want you to join them. Technically, you _are_ an immortal now, and you would definitely be an asset. You're good at what you do, and they'd probably send you on jobs that they thought were too low for them. Or they might want to study you. You've survived longer than most other hunters before you."

So I'd become somebody's lab rat? I shook my head violently at the idea.

"No. I haven't done anything. They can't have me." Those were the rules, right? Unless I did something to draw attention to myself…I should be safe.

It took me a while to realize that the only reason I hadn't collapsed was because Jacob was holding me up. I was shaking so much I was almost jerking. I just got to La Push. I didn't want to be forced to leave. And what about Jacob? What would happen to him if…something happened to me? Something told me he wouldn't survive that.

"Jacob, I don't want them to have me."

"They're not going to _touch_ you," he growled. "We won't let them."

I saw Michael move toward me, but he stopped when another growl erupted from Jacob's chest.

"Jake, calm down," Seth said. "You can't phase right now."

Was he close to phasing? I hadn't noticed. I took in his shaking form and realized _I_ hadn't been the one jerking; he had. His skin was even hotter than normal, I guessed it got that way when he was getting ready to…wolf out? There was a wild, panicked look in his eyes, and I knew it was because he was too close to me. He was keeping his animal at bay for me, because he didn't want to hurt me.

_My_ panic went away when I realized he needed me to anchor him to his human side. He would never hurt me, but I needed to calm him down. Now.

"Jacob, Jacob, look at me." I made my voice soft and soothing. "Focus on my voice. Focus on me."

I brought my hands up and wrapped them around the back of his neck and caressed the hair there. Jacob's hands fisted against my back and he closed his eyes. He forced himself to breathe deeply and his shaking slowly subsided.

I noticed then that Michael looked a little worried about my safety, what with the panicking werewolf and all.

"I'm okay," I said, for both Jacob's and Michael's benefits. My practical fighter side was taking over. It always did in a crisis. "Jacob and I are going to walk - well, run - you to the edge of the land so none of the other wolves will stop you." Kill you. "We'll give you the number to where I'm staying. I don't want you putting yourself in danger again." Not for me.

"Good. Let's go."

* * *

Later that day, Jacob was still worried, I could tell. He was abnormally quiet and he hadn't smiled since he'd heard about the Volturi. I didn't know if he knew exactly what that was, but he knew they were after me, which was enough for him. I didn't know what to do to make him stop worrying because I was worried myself. I didn't want the Volturi to get there hands on me anymore than Jacob did. But I'd rather they kill me than experiment on me. _That_ made me cringe.

We'd gone to Sam's as soon as Michael was safely off of Quileute lands. Seth and Leah had beat us there. Sam did his best to convince Jacob that I'd be safe. Jacob could forego patrol and stay with me at all times. That did little to comfort him

And now we were back at our house - yes, I considered it my home now - and I was trying to cheer Jacob up by distracting him. It wasn't really working. I'd never really had to cheer someone up before, and apparently, I wasn't good at it. Cheering people up was more Jacob's thing.

"Jacob, nothing's going to happen to me. Not while I'm with you. You'll keep me safe." There were ten wolves keeping me safe.

"I _just_ found you. I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you."

We were in Jacob's room - it was small, but it suited him. He had nothing but the bare necessities. Bed, dresser, closet. There were a few pictures on the dresser. One was his mom, one taken before he'd been born probably. One was of me and him from the last time I'd been here when we'd been thirteen. The other was of…Bella Swan.

_Bella_. I hadn't realized _that_ had been the Bella Jacob had been talking about.

"Bella…" I glanced at Jacob for confirmation. "She's the one marrying Edward." The one who had hurt Jacob.

He nodded. "Yeah. She moved to Forks her junior year."

"I remember her. She was a little…awkward, but she was nice. I thought she hated it here." So why had she moved back?

"Her mom remarried and wanted to travel with her husband, so Bella came to Forks."

I shook my head. "I remember she used to pitch a fit when Billy and her dad went fishing. Charlie?" Jacob nodded at the question of Bella's dad's name. "Chief Swan, right?"

"Yup, he's still on the police force."

"Hm…" I took that in. "Does he know? That…ya know?"

"His daughter is marrying a vampire and will become one herself?" I nodded. "No. He's totally in the dark."

"Oh. Okay."

That was good. But Charlie had to be suspicious. Right? Edward, if he was like other vampires, was probably pale and cold and hard. So Charlie had to know something was up. And Bella…how had she and Edward had a relationship? Hadn't there been the problem of, oh, I don't know, him wanting to eat her? How had they been able to be close without the thirst taking over?

Bella…I tried to remember specifics about her. She had been clumsy, sort of a damsel in distress. She'd been nice and polite. She'd had brown hair with red streaks in the sun. Chocolate brown eyes. Porcelain skin. She'd had a softness about her; she was slim yet not in an athletic way. To my knowledge, she'd stayed away from sports altogether.

I sighed. "You loved her." I bit my lip. Jacob had loved her without any wolfy influence. How could _I_ compare to that? "Jacob…if you hadn't imprinted…would you still like me? I mean, wanna be with me?"

"Yes," he said quickly, like he didn't need to even think about it. "It might've taken a little longer, but eventually I would've…liked you."

"Why? _Why_ would you like me?" Because I was me, I had to ask.

"Well, do you really want to know?" I nodded. "Okay. Well, obviously, you're beautiful" - I grimaced - "and don't make that face, because you _are_. Look in a mirror if you don't believe me."

I smiled softly and felt heat fill my cheeks. Jacob thought I was beautiful. _He_ thought _I_ was beautiful. The most beautiful man in the world thought _I_ was beautiful. I was stuck and I couldn't wrap my head around it. No matter how I rearranged the word to make it sound right.

"I like the way your hair shines in the light. I like how it's the perfect shade of brown. I like how your eyes show everything you're feeling. I never have to guess with you. I like how your nose fits your face perfectly. I like the way your lips fit against mine like they were made to be there."

I bit my lip again because I was grinning like an idiot.

"I like the way you're blushing right now. I like how your heart is racing. I like that you're so…amazingly perfect and that you can't even see it. I like that you're so disturbingly cool with everything."

Oh, his voice was killing me. It was so deep and husky and sincere. There was a hint of vulnerability there, but the good stuff outweighed the bad. It was like he was just…laying it on the line. It didn't matter if I couldn't say anything back…he just wanted me to know.

"But most of that was just surface-y physical stuff. So here're the important things. You calm the animal inside me. I look at you and everything's just…peaceful. At rest for the first time in a long time. I like the way you speak, the way you act, the way you think. I get excited every time I'm about to see you. I think of you, and everything you've been through, and then I look at you and who you are and it makes me proud of you. It makes me like you even more."

Somewhere in the middle of all that I'd gone from grinning to fighting back tears. If I'd had any doubts that he liked me for me and not just because of the imprinting, I didn't know. It was all because of me.

"Shall I go on?" Jacob teased, cupping my face and wiping my cheeks with his thumbs.

There was more? More than the fact that he liked pretty much everything about me, and that he was proud of me? More than the fact that I calmed him down, made him feel more peaceful than he had been in a long time?

"Please don't. Unless you want me to start sobbing. You should actually probably talk about something else to distract me."

"Like what?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Why the Cullen's aren't allowed on your land if they're not…evil."

I hadn't wanted to bring up vampires because I had successfully gotten Jacob's mind off the Volturi, but now I wanted - needed - to know about the Cullen's. After all, this was my territory now, too.

"Well, my great-grandfather was the one who made the treaty with them. He was a tribal elder. The chief, actually."

"Like Billy is now? Or would be if there was one?"

"Yup."

"Why was there a treaty in the first place?"

Jacob sighed. "Do you remember when I told you vampires were the only enemies to us?" I nodded. "Well, they explained to my great-grandfather that they didn't hunt humans and so as long as they stay off our lands we won't expose them. As long as they never bite a human, the treaty stands."

I shook my head. "But Bella…"

"Like I said before…they'll have to leave and never come back." He smirked. "If the treaty stands."

"Carlisle and Alice came…that one time."

"Yeah. In June, just before you came, there was a war. This vampire was after Bella and the bloodsucker created an army of newborn vampires."

I shuddered. Newborn vampires were hard to kill; although they were easily distracted. They were driven by pure thirst.

"There were nineteen or twenty altogether. The Cullen's and our pack joined forces and things are slightly less tense now. We still don't like unannounced visits, though."

"Um…the Cullen's…how many are there?"

"When Bella is turned there will be eight." Jacob sighed and laid down on the bed. I immediately curled up beside him. "There's Carlisle, he's the oldest. There's Esme, who for all intents and purposes is the mom. She's Carlisle's wife. Then there's Rosalie and Emmett; they're together. Alice - the psychic - and Jasper; they're also together. And now…Edward and Bella."

"So, it was a pretty even fight," I said, counting the ten wolves and the eight vampires up in my head. "And obviously you guys won."

"Yup." His mouth popped on the 'p'. "Why are you so curious about the Cullen's all of a sudden? You're not looking to become one, are you?"

I shook my head, glaring playfully. Like I really wanted to become part of the Undead Society. "No. I'm just curious. The treaty is part of your wolf thing, and I wanna understand you better."

* * *

That night I went to sleep with music on. It was some rock station, which you'd think wouldn't be conducive to sleeping, but it calmed me down. It gave me something to focus on besides my life. I could focus on the beat of the music or the notes from the guitar, or if it was a good song, the lyrics.

It was soft rock I was listening to; I didn't like screaming with my music. Singing was much better. It lulled me to sleep, anyway. In my sleep, I dreamed. A new dream. A new _nightmare_.

_I was in a place I didn't recognize. I was on a cold floor, a _hard_ floor. It felt like I was sitting on stone. I felt disoriented, like I'd been knocked out or drugged. My head felt big and dizzy, and I knew if I moved I'd probably be sick._

_Moving as little as possible, I took in my surroundings. I was in a dungeon-looking room. Stone walls, hard cold floors, no windows, and only one little light on the ceiling. There wasn't a door that I could see, but I knew there had to be one or else I couldn't have gotten in here._

_I brought my hand up to my head and was surprised by the clinking sound…I was chained to the wall. I pulled at the links and got nothing for my efforts._

Oh, come on. I can tear a vampire apart with my bare hands_, I thought, frustrated._

_I heard a heartbeat then, and my eyes swept across the room. There was a girl, my age, huddled in the corner. She wasn't chained to the wall, but I knew she had no hope of getting out of here._

_That's when I realized that the thing that was disorienting me was hunger. Or more precisely, _thirst_._

_I could hear the girl's heartbeat and I could _smell_ her. Her blood…it smelled…good. Blood had never really affected me before, but now…I wanted her blood…now_

_I heard a loud creaking sound and looked toward the noise. A hidden doorway was rising up and someone was coming through. Two someones. Two vampires. I didn't take in much except their pale faces and their red eyes. One was a girl, the other a man. I took a closer look and noticed the girl was actually a woman. Her face was childlike, though. Her face would've held wide-eyed innocence were it not for the red of her irises._

"_So, it's the third day without food," the man said. "Are you feeling the thirst yet?"_

_I clenched my teeth together so hard my jaw began to ache. My throat was burning almost like I was trying to keep from crying. Only it was more intense and I knew it was from the thirst._

_The girl - woman - began talking then and her voice would've been nice if it hadn't been filled with malice. She squatted down in front of me._

"_I've been dying to meet you since I heard about you. A human who has the abilities of a vampire. An enemy to all evil vampires. That's what you are."_

_I swallowed nervously. If I was human, why was I bloodthirsty all of a sudden?_

"_Do you know why you have abilities? Because you are part vampire yourself. Only a tiny part and it tweaked your system enough to make you what you are. We're starving your human side. Guess what's left?"_

_They couldn't mean what I thought they meant, could they? Oh, but the burning in my throat said they were definitely meaning what I thought they meant._

_The man brought the human girl to me, holding her neck out to me and I breathed in her scent. My teeth ached again, only this time for a very different reason. I wanted to literally sink my teeth into her and drink._

* * *

I lurched up on my bed, moving my hand to my mouth. My teeth ached still, but I was sure it was because my jaw had been clenched. Or I hoped that was it.

I noticed my stomach was really queasy and I rushed to the bathroom and heaved. My stomach was empty so the only thing that came up was bile. I'd gone to bed without food. That had to be the reason I'd had that strange dream. Right? My subconscious had been telling me I was hungry and needed to eat…but I wasn't hungry. Actually, I was pretty un-hungry.

I grabbed my head in my hands and whimpered.

"Crys?" A knock came from the door. "You okay?"

All I could do was groan in response.

"Can I come in?"

Another groan and then the door opened and Jacob stepped in. I knew I probably looked a mess, but I didn't care.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

I sniffled. "Really bad, really vivid nightmare."

"Your parents?"

I shook my head as he came to help me up. I washed my mouth with water and then brushed my teeth. They no longer ached, thankfully.

After I was done I went to Jacob's room and we laid together. I told him my dream - or whatever it had been - hoping he wouldn't get angry.

"It doesn't mean anything, right?" he asked. "Just…stress. Just a dream?"

"Well, I don't know, Jacob." I grimaced as I realized that what I'd said wasn't exactly reassuring. "Um…I sometimes dream about things that are going to happen…or things that have happened to Hunters before me. And this felt…real."

"Oh…" He began playing with my hair, running his fingers through my waves. "Okay. But even if your dream did mean something, I wouldn't let that happen. You're safe with me. They can't touch you."

I nodded against his chest. "Okay, yeah. But…I wanna talk to Michael tomorrow. I need to know if that could happen. If I need to be worried." At Jacob's look I corrected myself. "If _we_ need to be worried." Right, we were in this together now.

"Sure, sure. If talking to Michael will make you feel better, then by all means…talk to him."

"Okay. Good. I will."

I nuzzled my face against his warm chest. It felt really good. Especially after the crazy dream I'd had. His hand continued playing with my hair, and I caught his other hand in mine and laced our fingers together.

"Does your dad know? About us and your imprinting?" Random thought that just popped in my head.

"Yes. I told him even before you knew."

"Oh. And he was okay with it?"

"Are you kidding? He was thrilled. He loves you, you know that."

"Yeah. I know. But loving me and loving us being together are two different things."

"It wouldn't have mattered. You're the number one priority in my life now. As soon as I saw you everything else shifted and there was only you. Everything else comes second. There's nothing above you now."

I took a shaky breath and turned my head to press my lips softly to his chest near his collar bone. I loved that Jacob was so open with what he was feeling, but he was going to spoil me if he kept talking like that.

I kissed my way up his neck stopping at his pulse point and nibbled gently. My teeth were sharp and I didn't want to break the skin. Especially since the dream had said I could get bloodthirsty. When I reached his lips I placed a very chaste kiss on them and smiled in satisfaction.

I curled my leg up over his and Jacob release my hand and moved his fingers to run them over my thigh. I felt the warmth of his skin even through my thin pajama pants. When he skimmed over the back of my thigh near the bend in my knee, I laughed. Or…giggled, actually. I'd never giggled before.

Jacob's face had a grin that I could only describe as wolfy.

"Ticklish?" he teased lightly.

"Just a little."

I kissed him again, and then, very slowly, he flicked his tongue over my bottom lip asking for entrance. I sighed, opening to him. He slipped his tongue in my mouth, and I moaned softly. A growly rumble made its way from his chest and he moved my leg up a few inches and I felt…what I was doing to him.

I blushed and gasped. Then I melted against him, moving my leg against him gently. Then, suddenly, I was on my back and he was on top of me, kissing me, and letting his hands roam free. His hands were like fire - and not just because they were hot. It was like lava burned through my veins wherever he touched. He didn't go too far, just a little beneath my shirt to rub at the skin above my pajama pants.

When my brain finally caught up with my body I realized that him having his hand under my shirt maybe wasn't a good thing. He wouldn't do anything I didn't want him to, he'd promised me that, but I kinda felt bad now because I didn't want to be a tease. I had initiated this whole thing, but we were going way too fast - although…we _were_ planning on sleeping in the same bed, and we'd already done that once before - and…I suddenly had a hard time remembering why going too fast was a bad thing. It was Jacob…so…no, bad idea.

Jacob froze when he realized I wasn't responding anymore - too many thoughts in my head to concentrate on kissing. He lifted his mouth off of mine. "Are you okay?" He had a weird look on his face, like maybe he thought _he'd_ been the one to do something wrong.

I swallowed hard. I had to focus on why continuing kissing would be bad. "Yeah. Of course I'm okay. I just…I shouldn't have gotten you wound up like that." Because not only was he part wolf, he was also a hormonal teenage guy.

Jacob rolled off of me. "_I_ shouldn't have lost control like that." He checked me over briefly. "Did I hurt you?"

"You didn't hurt me," I said quickly. Why would he think that? He hadn't been rough with me or anything. He just reacted like someone who was attracted to me would. And I'm the one who had…touched him first. Then I realized maybe it was because he'd never done that before, so he wasn't sure if he was…good at it. Well… "You…it felt amazing. Just…too fast. Timing is off, that's all. I should've…not…um…ya know."

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely, again like he'd been the one out of line there. But it was sweet, so I let it go.

We both got resituated, me fixing my clothes in the process. I grabbed his hand to let him know that there had been no harm done. It didn't go unnoticed by me that he was shaking.

"Are you okay?" I asked. "You're, um…shaking."

He wasn't going to phase, was he? Or, God, what if he was? What if he was angry because…of that? I mean…I had been a tease, even it was unwittingly. I'd gotten his motor running and then…nothing.

Jacob grinned - so obviously he _wasn't_ mad. "I'm not angry, if that's what you mean." But his voice sounded tight, strained. "I didn't mean to let things go that far."

Again it was _my_ fault and he was willing to accept all responsibility.

"Hey, I started it," I reminded him. "Next time I'll know better." After I got my breath back under control, I noticed Jacob was still shaking. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No, don't," he said insistently. "I'm okay. It's just…harder than I thought it would be."

"What is?"

"Controlling myself after that. But don't leave. Please."

Oh, God, puppy dog eyes looking right at me, and automatically I knew that they'd be able to break my will against _anything_. He'd get his way with everything if I wasn't careful. Not that he was unreasonable or anything…and he'd never do anything that wasn't good for me, so…but still…

"I'm not going anywhere." Did he really think he had to beg me to stay? "I only suggested I leave because I thought it would make it easier for you to get control again."

"No, I can do it. Just give me a minute."

He focused on his breathing for a while and then he was okay. He was calm and not shaking anymore. He wrapped his arms around me again. His warmth was infectious, and it seeped into me almost immediately. His body heat radiated through the whole room, it seemed, but when I was close it was even better.

* * *

Okay, so...a little bit of fluff and a little bit of hotness. I mean, I totally get your brain stopping or losing all normal function if you're making out with Jacob...so...yeah.


	7. Chapter 7

Okay, so...technically I'm updating to tell you guys I don't know when I'll be updating again. We're having family stuff going on. My aunt's in the hospital and I don't know when she's gonna get out because they don't really know what's causing her to be sick and they're planning on keeping her until they find out. Then when that's all over, I'm gonna have to take a medicine that might make me sick for two weeks, hopefully it doesn't, but it could. Just thought I'd warn you guys.

Chapter Seven

The next day I called Michael like I said I was going to. He said I could come over to his apartment whenever, he'd help if he could. Michael didn't actually live in the town part of Port Angeles. It was in a secluded area, of course, because vampires were big on secrecy. After talking to him I got ready to go and, of course, Jacob decided to come with me. I didn't have a problem with it; he was always welcome, but…

"Um, you don't have to if you think it'll be hard for you to be around him. I'll be safe with him."

"Yeah. He cares about you a lot. He stopped drinking human blood for you and he risked getting torn apart for you. Still, I'd feel better if I was there."

"Okay."

That settled, we went out to his Rabbit and got in.

"So," he said, starting the car. "Rachel is coming back for a couple weeks before school starts again. Do you mind sharing?"

I smiled a little. Apparently, Jacob had had an ulterior motive for wanting to come with me.

"Rachel's cool. And it is her room. Or was originally, so…no, I don't mind."

"Cool."

Rachel was Jacob's older sister - one of the two twins - and she'd been going to college full time, summer classes included. Classes had ended, apparently. I was a little nervous to see her again, actually. Had she changed much? I wondered. She'd been soft-spoken and loyal and shy. Once she got wound up, though, she could be as unpredictable as a hurricane. Would we get along now? Would I be able to tolerate her, at least?

Jacob drove through Forks, over a bridge, and then out of town. The houses got fewer and far between and then we reached a turnoff. I wouldn't have seen it if Jacob hadn't been with me. The road we were on now was surrounded by trees.

"The Cullens' live a few miles up that way," Jacob explained. "It's pretty isolated.

"How do you know where the Cullens' live?" I asked, surprised. I didn't think he was the type to make a social call at a vampire's house. "Have you ever been there?"

"Yeah, once for a graduation party that Bella invited me to."

"Hm…bet that was interesting to see."

I tried to imagine what kind of house the Cullen's would live in, but I couldn't. I knew vampires didn't sleep in crypts - vampires didn't sleep at all, actually - but I'd never heard of a vampire clan that was so big. Excluding the Volturi.

Usually vampires traveled in pairs - vampires mated for life, most of the time - and very rarely vampires would travel in threes. That was for convenience, for hunting purposes or for protection.

Thirty minutes later we pulled into a parking lot for the apartment complex. Michael was waiting outside for us. Or, well, me. I hadn't actually told Michael Jacob was coming. I hoped he didn't care.

Jacob and I got out of the car and went forward. When we reached Michael I hugged him briefly. Jacob grimaced. It had surprised me, but I'd had to keep myself from flinching from his coldness. Michael was freezing, of course. Before I'd gotten used to Jacob's heat, vampire skin never bothered me, but now it felt extremely icy cold.

"Do you want to come inside?" Michael asked me.

"Yeah." I grabbed Jacob's hand. "It's a package deal. He has to come, too."

"I realize that," Michael replied. "Come in."

He led us to his apartment door and into the living room. The room was set up perfectly and I sat on the couch with Jacob, who I noticed was holding his breath at times. I would have to ask about that after we were done here.

"So, you're here about the Volturi." Michael made it a comment not a question.

"Maybe. I'm not sure."

"Okay, wait." Jacob said. "You keep talking about the Volturi. What is that?"

"What, he doesn't know?"

"Well, things have been…he didn't ask," I said lamely. Then I turned to Jacob. "I don't know everything. But the Volturi are the ones who enforce the laws."

"Vampires have laws?" Jacob asked, looking at me.

"Well, one major one. That vampires don't make spectacles of themselves. That they keep their world a secret," I explained.

"They're an old, powerful family," Michael said, for Jacob's benefit; I already knew this part. "They're the closest thing to royalty we have. I lived with them for a time before I met Crystal. Another vampire that lives close by lived with them for a little while. Carlisle Cullen."

Carlisle? If _he_ had lived with them then surely they couldn't be all bad. Right?

"There are five plus the guard. The guard are the ones who the Volturi send if something…stands out. The Volturi themselves don't like to leave Italy unless it's completely necessary."

Jacob was paying attention closely - it had to do with the…people…coming after me, so of course he was. Know thy enemy and all that jazz.

"If you'll follow me, I can show you a painting of the three main ones."

I looked at Jacob, who nodded, and we stood to follow Michael to a room. Stepping inside was like walking into a mini-library and a mini-art museum in one. The dominating canvas, though, was the one Michael led us to. The image was of four men - one Carlisle, unchanged from now - on a very high balcony.

"This is just a replica, the original is with the Cullens'."

I took in the two black haired vampires and the one white haired. "How old is this?"

"Centuries old." Michael smiled softly. "Those three are over three thousand years old."

Jacob's eyes just about popped out of his head. "Three thousand?"

"Yes." Michael was vaguely amused. "Two females joined after Carlisle's time." He pointed to the three vampires. "Aro and Marcus, the two dark haired ones have abilities. Aro can read every thought you've had with one touch. Marcus…his is a strange one. He can read a relationship between any two people."

Jacob looked at me, probably wondering how our relationship would read.

"The blond one, Caius, can read abilities, I guess would be the way to put it. He can tell what ability a human will have before they become a vampire. He's the one who has the most say over the guard. Last I heard there were nine members. They were chosen for their abilities. Physical or otherwise…I was part of that before I became a Guardian."

"Huh…What were you chosen for?" I asked. I honestly didn't know; we'd never really talked about him before, not his life anyway. He'd sort of shied away from talking about himself, I think maybe because he was ashamed of it now that I was around for him to care about.

"Hypnotism. I can draw people in, make them do what I want." He looked at me anxiously. "I don't use it anymore. I haven't since I met you."

I nodded, taking that in. "I believe you."

After he was sure I was being sincere he began talking again. "There's Demetri. He can track anybody. They'll send him, of course, to track you. If they really want to find you, that's who they'll send. If - when - he finds you…"

"He'll want me?" I asked weakly.

"Yes." Michael sighed softly. "Look, if the Volturi want you then they _may_ just want to meet you. They may just be interested in you. You've last longer than any of the other girls who were chosen before you. Most of the other didn't last longer than a year and they were chosen when they were older than you were."

"Oh. Well…hopefully that's the case," I said. Talking to them I could handle as long as they didn't hurt anyone while they were here. "Um…but, technically that's not why we're here."

"Oh. Well, what is it?" Michael took on a look of false mockery. "Did you miss me so much you couldn't stay away?"

"No," I said. "Well, I mean, yes, of course I missed you, but no, that's not why we came." I took a deep breath. "I had a nightmare."

It didn't have quite the effect I thought it would; Michael only quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

"A _nightmare_," I emphasized. "You know, the kind that can either come true or tell me something that happened to someone before me."

"Oh, you mean a prophetic dream. Why didn't you say that to begin with?"

"Because I thought you were smart enough to figure it out on your own," I teased. Then more serious, "Besides, you know I hate the 'prophetic dream' thing. I'm not some psychic."

"Yeah, okay," Michael said to appease me. "What was this dream about?"

"These two vampires had me," I began. "They wanted to change me."

Again Michael's eyebrow quirked up, this time in disbelief. "Um, you can't be changed."

"Yes, I know, but these two didn't seem to think that. I'm not sure who they are, but…" I went on to explain the dream I'd had in vivid detail. I explained, for Jacob's benefit, that I didn't know if the dream was about _me_ or a different hunter from the past because when I was having those type of dreams, it felt like it was happening to me regardless if the dream was about me or not.

Jacob's hand came up to rest on the back of my head where he played with my waves. It was very comforting for me and himself.

After I was done explaining I sat there silently for a few moments and then I said, "So, is it possible? The changing me thing?"

Michael shook his head quickly. "I don't understand. They tried that a long time ago. It didn't work then, why would it work now?"

"They…tried to change other girls?" Jacob asked. "But it failed?"

Michael grimaced; a normal person wouldn't have caught it. The gesture meant he was hiding something from me. Us.

"What?"

"You can't be changed the normal way. And you wouldn't be a vampire. You would, however, develop a thirst for blood if you ever fed. That's how you turn, by feeding."

I…didn't know what to think. Shouldn't this have been part of my training, learning? Knowing this, knowing about myself…I realized I didn't really know anything about the Vampire Slayer part of me. It was supposed to be Vampire Hunter, but Vampire Slayer sounded more badass. What I did know about that part of me…I'd learned on my own

I felt my eyes sting a little, and I moved away from both Jacob and Michael. I suddenly felt a little closed in. I didn't want to push Jacob away, and if Michael hadn't been here, I wouldn't have, but as it was…I needed to get away from them both.

"Um…I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I knew Jacob could tell I was about to lose it. My face had contorted into an expression of pain, and I was refusing to look at him. "I'll be right back."

I made my way past the two guys and out of the room. I then remembered I had no idea where the bathroom was. I went down a little hall and, luckily enough, the first door I reached was the one I needed. I locked the door behind me.

I had been hoping that the dream hadn't meant anything, that it would've been pointless to worry about, that it had been one of the eternal mysteries of my brain.

I leaned against the bathroom door and dragged my fingers through my hair shakily. The vampires were going to want to force me to feed from a human. For some reason, they wanted me to become a monster. Make me like them. Either that, or I was dreaming about something that had happened to some other poor girl. Either way it sucked.

I clenched my jaw tight and forced myself to think of something else -_anything else_. I focused my senses outward. I could hear music coming from outside the building; it was as clear as if the music was playing right into my ears. It was some Nickleback song that I'd heard a few times before but had never really paid attention to.

I went to the counter and turned the cold water on cracking the turner in the process.

"Oops," I said.

I was distracted. I usually had no problem controlling myself. I usually didn't have to remind myself to be careful; I could easily snap someone's neck with one hand if I wanted to. So I did have to careful, but it usually came naturally to me. My desire not to hurt anyone outweighed my strength, I guess.

I looked in the mirror and saw that the high planes of my cheekbones were wet with tears. They flowed down the hollows of my face and I angrily wiped them away. Crying wasn't helping. My skin was blotchy from crying and I knew Jacob would be worried when he saw me. My hair was sticking out at odd angles from where I'd run my fingers through it.

I splashed a little water on my face to wash away the salt and tears. Now that the frustration had ebbed, I felt embarrassed for even getting upset. It was such a stupid thing to get upset over. It hadn't happened yet, and with Jacob around it never would.

I dried my face with my shirt and sniffled one last time. I would need to get back to Jacob or I was sure he'd come barging in. Locked door and all. As soon as I stepped out of the room I saw Jacob leaning against the wall in the hallway. He would've seemed casual and relaxed had his foot not been anxiously tapping up and down, had he not been staring fixedly at the bathroom door I'd just come out of.

"Crys," he said, stepping forward. "You okay?"

I didn't respond yes or no, I just met him in the middle and hugged him.

"I wanna get out of here," I whispered against his chest, and automatically we started walking toward the door of the apartment. Michael was there waiting for us.

"I'm going to visit the Cullen's in a few days. Put some information together with Carlisle. You can come if you want," he said to me.

I nodded, not agreeing one way or the other. "Maybe. I'll let you know."

When Jacob and I got to the car I got in the passenger seat and he squatted down in front of me. I knew he hated seeing me this way, especially when there was nothing really he could do about it.

"Crys, what is it?" He sounded like because I wasn't happy it was causing him pain, affecting _his_ happiness. I hoped it wasn't like that. "What can I do?"

"I don't want to be a monster, Jacob. Okay?" I sniffled again. "They can't…if they get me and that's what they want…"

"Not gonna happen," he countered. "I don't care what you're nightmare said."

* * *

On the way to the reservation Jacob kept my hand in his; one hand in mine, one on the wheel. It wasn't even noon yet. I wondered what we were going to do the rest of the day. That question was answered when we got to the house. Sam was there in human form along with Jared and Paul. They seemed upset. Not in a phasing sort of way, but in a something bad happened way.

"Jacob, Crystal…something happened." I could tell it was bad because Sam usually called Jacob Jake instead.

"Okay…what?"

"Jake…your dad…there was an attack…we didn't get here in time."

"An attack?" Jacob's tone made it clear he wasn't really comprehending what was happening. "A vampire?"

Sam looked away but nodded. "Yeah."

"Is he…I mean…" I was having just as much trouble taking this in as Jacob was and Billy wasn't even _my_ dad.

"He wasn't bitten, he -"

Jacob didn't wait to hear whatever Sam was going to say. He rushed past Sam and the others into the house. I went to follow him but Sam grabbed my arm.

"Let him be."

"No, he needs me."

"What if he phases while you're in there?" Sam questioned. "You'll get hurt and he'll hate himself."

I knew he was speaking from experience so I kept my voice patient and kind. "He won't be mad, Sam. He'll be broken. Now, let me go."

He did as I asked and I went inside the house. Jacob was in the living room along with…Billy. I could tell automatically that his neck was broken, like the attacker had snapped it. That was the ultimate insult from a vampire, if they killed her without draining you in the process. It was like saying the victim wasn't good enough to feed off of.

Looking at Jacob, who, as I'd predicted, wasn't angry, something clicked in place inside. I knew that whatever he needed I'd give him even if I didn't know what that was yet.

He was on his knees beside Billy. It wasn't like he was on his knees praying; I'd seen many people do that. This, Jacob's position, was the pose of a defeated man. He was slumped over and he looked like he was at the end of his rope.

"Jacob." I moved closer to him and got on my knees, too, touching his shoulder. "I am _so_ sorry."

I began rubbing his back soothingly just to let him know I was there. And then I regretted it because a sob that was almost a roar exploded from Jacob's chest and I could tell he was in agony. I threw my arms around him and he buried his face in my neck. His arms came around me in a crushing embrace and I was sure I'd have bruises the next day; Jacob would never know.

I continued running my hands up and down his back, soothingly. Again it was just to let him know I was there, that he wasn't alone. I would be there for him and I wouldn't leave him alone.

"Crys…I don't -" his voice broke and I shushed him.

"Shh, shh." I brought my hand to the back of his head and tangled my fingers in his hair. "We'll talk later. I'll still be here. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be _right here_."

He nodded weakly, more tears making their way to my shirt. They were soaking through the material.

Sam stepped through the front door and my gaze shifted to him. I could tell he was just there to see if I needed help. I shook my head in his direction and then focused my attention back to Jacob. I could feel his pain rolling off him in waves with every sob that jerked his body. Every tear that fell burned like acid on my skin because they were _his_ tears, and I never wanted him to hurt this much again. I didn't want him hurting this much now.

I didn't want Billy dead. Especially this way. He should've gone peacefully in his sleep fifteen or twenty years from now. He shouldn't have been killed by a vampire. It moved and infuriated me that someone else I knew and loved had been killed by a vampire. Maybe I was cursed. Everyone I loved was destined to die that way.

I focused on Jacob's hiccupping sobs. My heart hurt for him because I knew there was nothing I could do to make him feel better. This, comforting, was all I could do. Was this how Jacob felt with me when there was nothing he could do to make _me_ feel better?

After a few more 'I'm sorrys' I didn't say anything else and I just let Jacob take comfort from my presence. There was nothing I could say that would help, so I didn't see the point in trying. When his grip loosened and the sobs subsided I knew it was almost over.

He sniffled a couple times and then pulled back and turned his head from me, ashamed…for breaking down? For showing his emotions so clearly? I wasn't sure.

"Jacob?" He didn't move. "Hey, look at me." He didn't, so I brought my hand up to the side of his face, cupping it gently. I got the usual response; he leaned into my touch. "You don't have to hide with me," I whispered. "Ever. Okay? Don't ever be ashamed for showing me something like that. It's okay."

I wiped the tears away from his cheeks with the back of my hand. I took in his red rimmed eyes and touched my lips to each of his eyelids, collecting salt and water in the process.

"What happens now?" Jacob asked, voice hoarse. "I mean, what do I do?"

Oh, right. I'd been though this before. My experience hadn't been normal, though. I hadn't had to plan my parents funerals or anything. I hadn't even been able to go to them. I'd been snatched away too quickly.

"Um…the cops?" I bit my lip. "Though we'd have to lie about what happened."

"Charlie. Ch-Chief Swan. He's D-dad's best friend."

"Okay. Okay, what's his number? I'll call him."

"It's by the phone," he said. "First number on the page."

I went to the phone and dialed the number.

"He's…he's probably at work," Jacob said helpfully. "Next number down."

I dialed the different number after I made sure there would be no answer for the previous number. I got an answer on the second ring.

"Forks Police, Chief Swan speaking."

"Chief Swan? Hi. I don't know if you remember me. I'm Crystal Evans."

"Yeah, you're staying with Billy, right?"

"Um…" I'd had my voice under control until he'd mentioned Billy's name. "Yeah. Um…there was…um…there was a-an accident. Here at the house. Billy is…" I didn't want to say dead or deceased. In fact, I decided to stay away from d words altogether.

"Is Billy okay?"

"No…he's…gone." And that sounded lame and disrespectful even to my ears. Gone…like he got in a car and left, could come back when he wanted. "We-we weren't here and wh-when we came back he was…" I trailed off. I hoped he got the picture.

"Give me ten minutes. I'll get there as quick as I can."

"Okay."

"Is Jake…"

"He's…" I shook my head even though I knew Charlie couldn't see. "I don't know."

"Yeah."

With that, we hung up and I went back to Jacob, who was doing a great impersonation of an inanimate object. I kneeled down in front of him and blocked his view of Billy. I knew that was what held his attention. He didn't need to remember Billy like that.

"Jacob…" I smoothed his shaggy hair back from his face and he looked at me. A few stray tears dropped down his face. I cleared them away. "Come on. We need to go outside, okay? Charlie will be here soon, and he'll…take care of things."

Jacob, with my help, stood up and we went outside. We sat on the porch. Jacob leaned against me heavily and I wrapped my arms around him, starting to cry myself.

The grief hit me hard, and that's when I realized how much I'd come to love Billy. I sighed and closed my eyes. I couldn't sob like I wanted to. I needed to be strong for Jacob.

Death wasn't new to me. I'd killed many times before, myself. Not humans, of course, but it was the same general idea. I'd never cut off an innocent existence, but I had killed, just the same. I'd killed out of vengeance for my parents; I'd killed because it was a necessary thing to do to protect the town I lived in; sometimes I killed because I thought I had to, because it was what I'd been made for. I had never enjoyed putting an end to any existence, though. That's what made me different from vampires - the bad ones enjoyed killing; I despised it.

I'd chosen this path when I was thirteen, and I didn't get to un-choose it now. I didn't get to quit, no matter how much I wanted to. _This_ was a part of me now, and I wouldn't be me if it was taken away.

The vision of Billy filled my head and I suddenly wanted to make the thing that had killed him very, very dead. Billy hadn't deserved to die that way. _Nobody_ deserved to die that way.

* * *

It wasn't long before Chief Swan pulled his Cruiser onto the long dirt pathway of Jacob's yard. He had on his business face today. I knew it was because he was trying to hold everything in. He couldn't be Charlie now, he had to be Chief Swan. He instantly went in the house, but barely made it through the door before he had to turn back around. He looked like he might be sick.

"We found him," Jacob said distantly. "Like that. We found him like that."

"We went to Port Angeles just before and we came back…" I explained so Jacob wouldn't have to. "We walked in and that's when we found him."

Sam and the others had made it a point to leave before Charlie got there, so I assumed that meant they'd wanted us to leave them out of the story.

Charlie asked routine question and I answered with as close to the truth as possible. It was easier to lie that way.

The way Billy's body had been set up, it could've easily been an accident. If Sam and the other wolves couldn't smell vampires, I would've thought it _had_ been an accident. Some freak accident that shouldn't have happened.

After Charlie got all the _facts_ straight he asked, "Do your sisters know?" Directed at Jacob.

"My sisters." Jacob's shoulders slumped in defeat. "God, I didn't even think…"

"Don't worry about it, Jake," Charlie said. "I've got it."

I shot Charlie a grateful glance and then got back to taking care of Jacob.

"Are we done here?" I asked Charlie without looking away from Jacob. "If you don't need anything else…I think we should get away for a day or two."

"Yeah, sure," Charlie agreed. "Do you know where you're going? I'll give you a ride."

I shook my head. "Nah, we'll walk."

Charlie needed to let loose as much as Jacob did, so it would be better if he just left us alone.

* * *

Okay, so I know this is a depressing chapter, everybody's crying and upset, but that's the kind of year I've had so...yeah, anyway. Review if you want (please?) and let me know what you guys think. Thanks.


	8. Chapter 8

Okay, pretty much picks up right after the last chapter.

Chapter Eight

After Charlie left I helped Jacob up from the porch. He didn't seem to want to move at all. It was like he'd forgotten how to.

"Jacob?" I stepped into his line of sight. "Hey, do you know where you want to go?"

He looked back into the house. "They're gonna take him away?"

I swallowed painfully; my throat burned. "Yeah, they'll come and get him."

Jacob seemed so…lost. He seemed younger now, more vulnerable than I had ever seen him. His eyes were bloodshot and still watery. His cheeks were blotchy from sobbing earlier. He was shaking from the pain he was feeling.

I had a short flashback of Jacob, five years old, in pretty much the same state because he had just realized his mom wasn't coming back to him. I'd been there for him then, too.

I exhaled sharply and threw my arms around him again. We were never going anywhere at this rate. Neither of us could hold it together long enough to move more than a few steps. I wished I knew what to say, but I didn't. I'd been through this myself, but I couldn't remember if anything made me feel better. All I remembered was feeling alone, feeling like nobody understood, like nobody cared enough to.

I vowed to myself that Jacob would not feel that way. Not if I could help it.

* * *

Thirty minutes later we were going toward the Clearwater's house. Jacob had phased; I knew it was easier for him to deal with the pain that way. We were going through the woods because only certain members of the tribe were aware that other members - the younger ones - were wolves, so it wouldn't be good for anyone to see the horse-sized wolf that was Jacob.

When we reached the Clearwater's Jacob phased back at the line of the woods while I waited a little ways away.

Sue, Seth, and Leah were in their living room. Sue was crying - Billy had been a Tribal Elder so his death would effect the whole tribe - and Seth and Leah both had sad faces. Leah glanced at me and then looked away.

Had she been glaring? Or maybe it had just been my imagination.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Sue said, getting up and throwing her arms around Jacob. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

I knew this was familiar territory for the Clearwater's. They'd been through his before about six months ago themselves. Harry Clearwater, Sue's husband and Seth and Leah's father, had died of a heart attack.

As Sue wrapped her arms around Jacob I could see his face crumple in pain again. It seemed he was the type that got even more upset when people tried to comfort him.

"Is there anything we can do?" Sue asked me. "Anything that…"

I shook my head. "We called Charlie. He's taking care of things." I was hoping the Tribal Police would let him help; they probably knew him well enough that they would.

"What'd you tell him?" Seth asked. His voice was rough, like he was holding back the pain.

"The truth, mostly," I answered. "That we weren't there. We found him like that."

We could be completely candid here because Harry had also been an Elder, so Sue knew the secret, and Seth and Leah were part of the secret; they were werewolves.

Suddenly Sam was there, too, at the door and I wondered why.

"Hey, I've been waiting for you to get here." Sam was looking at me. I wondered if he meant he'd been waiting for us in the woods. "Crystal, can I…talk to you? Outside?"

Weird. "Uh, sure." I glanced at Jacob, who was just standing there. "I'll be right back, okay?" I grabbed his arm and squeezed gently before walking away slowly.

Once outside, Sam led me to the edge of the woods.

"What?"

Sam seemed…hesitant…which was weird. Sam usually held himself confidently; he was usually sure and steady in the things he did.

"I need to tell you something, and it's gonna be hard."

"Okay," I said slowly. This was going to be bad.

"We found this next to Billy's body." Sam held out a folded piece of paper. "It was left for you."

"M-me?" I grabbed the paper and opened it.

_Crystal,_

_This is just the beginning._

_V_

Short and simple. To the point. Devastating.

Leah's glare made sense now. This was all my fault. Jacob was going to hate me now. I'd killed his dad, I'd brought this on everyone.

"Sam…Oh, my God, I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't want to show you this, but I thought you had the right to know."

I nodded. I felt wetness fall on my cheeks. "Does Jacob know?" Jacob had been in his wolf form so maybe he'd heard, but, no. Sam shook his head. "What do I do? I can't stay here. I'm putting all of you in danger. Maybe I should just leave."

Sam knew I was just babbling. "Are you really gonna leave Jacob right now? When he needs you the most?" He knew I wouldn't.

I sighed. "No. No, I wouldn't do that. That doesn't change the fact that I'm putting you guys in danger. You and your imprints." The last part had been a low blow, but it needed to be said. "You must be so mad at me."

"No," he said and I could tell he meant it.

"But this is all my fault," I whispered, my throat too tight to speak any louder. "What am I supposed to tell Jacob? Should I even tell him.?"

"He won't blame you. He knows how vampires are." He looked kindly at me. "Look, only Paul and Jared know about the letter - other than me and _you_ now. They're pretty good at guarding their thoughts. Jacob won't find out until you decide to tell him."

Okay, so the letter _didn't_ explain Leah's glaring; maybe she was just being Leah.

"Okay." I nodded gratefully. "Thank you."

"Are you gonna be okay? I really have to get back."

"Yeah. Yeah, you…go."

After I was sure Sam was far enough away, I took off in the opposite direction, full-speed. I wasn't leaving; I was going to the beach. I needed to get myself together before I saw Jacob. He would know something other than the obvious was wrong with me, and he'd want to know what exactly that was. I wouldn't tell him, not now. He had more than enough to worry about without adding this to the mix.

Without even realizing it, I had gone a different way than I'd meant to. I was at the territory limits before I noticed where I was. I was getting ready to go into Forks. I kept to the forest so I could keep running without being seen. Not that I would be more than a blur, anyway, but still…

A small voice in the back of my head reminded me that the Volturi were after me and obviously nearby - they had killed Billy. I was being stupid going so far off the reservation.

I was aware of the thud of paws behind me, but I didn't slow down. The wolves were faster than me; whoever it was would catch up eventually. Then I realized it could've been Jacob and I did slow. If he was chasing me, it was because he needed me; it would be selfish to run away from him now if he was trying to reach me.

I came to a complete stop and took in the sand-colored wolf that came around me and stopped in front of me. Seth.

All the wolves were horse-sized, only wider, with more muscle. The wolves would probably be terrifying to me if I didn't know who they were. Although Jacob had never frightened me even before I'd known he was a wolf.

Seth whined and nodded back toward the reservation, back to his land.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Is it Jacob?"

Seth nodded and whined again, and then he took off and I knew he expected me to follow him. So I did.

* * *

Back at Sue's, Seth directed me to where Jacob was; Seth's room. I knocked before going in.

"Jacob?"

He was on the bed sitting on the edge, shoulders slumped. He had a calm and stoic mask in place. I'd never seen the mask before and I didn't like it.

"Rachel…called." His sister. The one in college; the one that was supposed to come visit. "And Rebecca." His other sister. The one in Hawaii; the one that was married.

I went and sat beside him and grabbed his hand, feeling guilty that I hadn't been here to take care of that for him, for letting myself be selfish.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here." _Really sorry, Jacob._

He nodded weakly at me. "You just took off. What happened?"

"Don't worry about it. I'll tell you later."

Jacob didn't push. "Don't do that again, please?" His mask fell from his face. "Not now. You just disappeared."

With Billy having been attacked, of course it would scare him if I just vanished like I had. It had been stupid to take off like that.

"I'm really sorry," I said, leaning my head against his arm. "I won't leave again."

"Kay." I felt as he pressed his lips to my hair. "Good. Because I really don't know what to do."

I didn't say anything to that. I knew how he felt - up to now he'd had a road map. Taking care of Billy, helping him get around. And the next couple of days would be hard because he'd still have things to do - funeral, _planning_ the funeral. The hardest part, though, would be the constant reminders, the constant flow of people saying 'I'm sorry for your loss'.

"Does it get easier?" he asked. Again I took in the vulnerability in his voice and it hit this nurturing spot inside of me that made me want to take even more care of him than I had already.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Lie to me."

"Then, yes, everything gets easier and the pain goes away. You'll be fine in a couple days."

He let out a sharp breath. "And the truth?"

"The truth is you'll never forget how Billy was taken away from you. The hurt won't ever really go away. It'll fade, but it'll always be there. You'll make a space in your head and your heart for his memories." And life will go on, somehow, I added silently.

His hand twitched in mine. And, randomly, he said, "I don't know how to be a grown up." He grimaced slightly. "What if I'm no good at it?"

"You'll be great at it." I stood up and squatted down in front of him so he'd have to look at me. "You protect your tribe, Jacob. And that's pretty grown up if you ask me."

"I'm gonna have to get a job…I still haven't finished high school yet."

Despite everything that had happened, that surprised me. "What?" We were the same age and I'd graduated already. Right before I'd come here.

Jacob needed to be distracted anyway, so he answered. "Oh, um…when I phased the first time…I missed a lot of school in the beginning. The rez school…is very lenient to us wolves." He smiled a little and I cherished it. "Quil's granddad is on the Board of Education. All the Elders are. When I missed more days than was allowed, I didn't care, really, because they knew why. But then my grades started slipping."

I tried to imagine an angry young werewolf in a school environment and shuddered. There would have been serious trouble if he'd gone to school and gotten angry with someone.

"Jacob…"

"The days I missed, they could overlook, make up some excuse, but the grades? I was never a top-notch student in the first place, but it wouldn't have been fair to let me graduate when I was failing." He sighed. "I don't even know if I'm going back next year."

He _had_ to. I wasn't going to tell him that now, but not finishing school would seriously wreck his future. He knew that, or at least he had unexpressed knowledge of it. I would support him either way, of course, but quitting school was a bad idea.

"Okay. But Jacob…nobody expects you to figure all this out at once. Nobody expects you to wake up tomorrow and have everything planned. Ya know? And you don't have to do it alone, okay? If you need _anything_, I'm here. If I can help at all, don't be afraid to ask."

He not only had me, but the rest of his pack, too. And probably some of the tribe that wasn't in the pack. Billy had been an Elder, and that gave him respect. And through Billy, it would probably give Jacob more help than he'd be able to stand in the next couple of days.

* * *

Rachel arrived the next day; Rebecca would arrive the day after. Rebecca couldn't stay long, but she wanted to help arrange the funeral and be here for it.

Billy had been removed the day before and we were back at the Black's house. There were enough rooms to fit everyone. Billy's room, Jacob's room, and Rachel and Rebecca were going to share. The room that was mine now had been theirs originally so…it led to sharing.

Jacob refused to use Billy's room even though it was bigger. He'd said maybe later, but he couldn't right now. I'd moved some of my stuff into Jacob's room for now. I would move back into my room after Rebecca left.

Jacob was quiet. He'd barely even said ten words to his sister. I didn't blame him, and I didn't try to get him to speak. Sometimes I'd see this far away look in his eyes - it reminded me of when Alice was having a vision - and I knew that's when he was replaying the scene of finding his dad. In those moments, I would either grab his hand or run my fingers through his hair. Touch him in some way to bring him back to the present.

Jacob tried to avoid being around more than a few people at a time. He didn't snap or get angry, but he did grow tense. Tense enough that I'd make some excuse to get him away from all the masses. Away from the mourning people, from all the grieving. He had enough to deal with on his own; he didn't need everyone else's sadness on top of his.

Jacob always welcomed _my_ presence, though. He always wanted me around. Even when he wanted to be alone, he wanted to be alone with me. He could be alone with me there.

Before Rachel had arrived Jacob had reminded me that she didn't know about vampires or werewolves. Neither did Rebecca, for that matter. Jacob wasn't allowed - Alpha's orders - to tell them the secret.

I thought it was wrong. They were his sisters, he shouldn't have to keep this from them, but then again…normal people would freak out if they knew what really went bump in the night. And in real life, things that went bump in the night went bump in the daytime, too.

Needless to say, I would keep my mouth shut. I would never drag an innocent person into my world unless I had to. And I didn't have to. I'd be Secret Identity Girl while they were here.

* * *

That night, the first night Rachel was there, the first night we stayed at the house after Billy died, we - Jacob and I - were in his room. Rachel hadn't liked that much. Even though she was only two years older than us, she still thought we were too young.

Jacob's face had reddened at the insinuation that we were sleeping together, and I'd told her our relationship wasn't like that. I was only sleeping in his bed because he needed me, now more than ever. It wasn't like we were going to do anything. With Jacob in the state he was in now, it would be taking advantage, and it wouldn't be right.

We were on the bed, outside the covers because of his body heat. Jacob had his head on my shoulder right above my chest. To a normal person he would have been two hot and heavy, but it didn't bother me.

I was playing with the hair at the base of his neck. I knew it was soothing to him and right now he needed to be soothed. He'd held it together with his calm and stoic mask, but I'd seen the clenched fists, the tightening of his jaw. He'd barely been able to keep his emotions in check, and now he didn't have to. He'd gotten his sobs out the day before, but a few stray tears spilled over at times.

"I feel like I can't breathe, Crys," he whispered. "It hurts so much it feels like I can't breathe."

Oh, my Jacob. My poor Jacob.

My hand stilled in his hair for a second and then started back up. "I know. It feels that way now."

"He's _gone_." The emphasis on 'gone' held all the pain and hopelessness he felt, and I couldn't help the pricking sting in my eyes.

"No," I said softly. "He'll never be gone. Not really." I used my other hand to touch his chest. I could feel his heartbeat. "He'll always be in here." I scratched his head emphatically. "And _here_."

Thinking about Billy, I sighed and my whole body became stiff. I had to tell him about the letter now. The longer I kept it from him, the more hurt he'd be when he did find out.

"Jacob…what if I told you that this is my fault. That Billy is dead because of me?"

Jacob lifted his head, my hand falling from its resting place in his hair, and looked at me questioningly.

I shook my head slightly. "I don't know how they did it, exactly, but the Volturi was here. Demitri…or someone. Why else would a vampire attack your dad and make it look like an accident? And what vampire could've gotten past Sam and the others? I mean, maybe the Volturi has some sort of repelling thing or something."

"Do you know for sure?" Jacob asked, body tensing. "What if they were after you?"

And of course he would be worried about _me_ here, and not that it was my fault. Literally worried because…his imprinting thing made him focus on me, when he should be worried that his dad was dead.

"Oh, they were definitely after me. Billy just got caught in the crossfire."

"How d'you know?"

"They left a note. Sam found it, gave it to me yesterday."

Realization hit Jacob's eyes. "That's why you took off."

I nodded quickly. "That's why. The note said Billy was only the beginning. That…" I clenched my teeth together as my voice quivered. My throat tightened and began to burn. "Jacob, they're just gonna keep coming after me. It was just a coincidence that I wasn't here yesterday. I kinda wish I had been. They never would've gotten to Billy if I'd been here."

I would've fought and one of us would have lost, or I could've stalled long enough for the wolves to show up. Or, if things got too bad, I would've given myself over to protect this tribe, this group of people that had become my family.

Almost as if he'd been reading my mind, Jacob said, "Crys, _no_. I know what you're thinking and _no_."

His voice had changed subtly. Deeper and more…authoritative. It was like Sam's Alpha voice. Jacob had an Alpha voice? Huh. It hadn't been an order exactly, but if he'd said it to a member of the pack, they probably would've listened.

"No?" I questioned, feigning innocence. It didn't work very well. "You don't even know what I was gonna say."

"Yes, I do. And you can't. If they get their hands on you, they'll want to study you or experiment or something." He was sitting up now. We both were. His hands were gripping my shoulders tightly. Almost, one might say, too tightly. It was just the right side of pain. "They'll wanna know what makes you different. They'll run tests or…torture you, for all I know."

Jacob was shaking, but I wasn't afraid. I knew it was more from stress than anger. The thought of me being caught and hurt caused him panic. Stress and panic…now that I thought about it, they probably didn't go well together when you were a werewolf.

"I was just thinking," I said. "I just…I _hate_ people getting hurt because of me."

"What happened to my dad wasn't your fault."

"Really?" I clenched my teeth together so hard my jaw started to hurt. "Is that _you_ or the imprint thing saying that?"

"It's me," he said. "It's not your fault. You can't help that you're different, and you can't help that these bloodsuckers are after you."

"But they _are_, and they're gonna _keep_ coming after me." I slid away from him. "Until they catch me, everyone here is in danger. You and the pack, you guys - you guys, I don't worry so much about. You're able to take care of yourselves. But what about the rest of the tribe? The ones who can't protect themselves? Or…what about Emily or Claire? Or even Rachel? She's here now and she doesn't know about…anything."

Jacob's face took on a pained look - like, worst pain in the world look - when he thought of one of his pack brothers losing their soul mate, at the thought of him losing me.

"We'll have a vote," Jacob said. I could tell by his voice that he was trying to come up with a way to make me feel less guilty. He didn't want me to be unhappy. In the middle of everything _he_ was going through, he was thinking of my happiness? God, I loved him.

"A vote?" Where had that come from, and what did it have to do with this?

"Well, more like a meeting. I'll tell Sam in the morning. We'll tell the whole pack what's going on. Each person can decide what they wanna do, and you can make sure they know what they're getting into before they get into it."

"And the imprints? I want them to be protected all the time. They can never be alone. They're…the most vulnerable…the Volturi will come after them, I'm sure."

"Okay. Like I said, we'll have a meeting. We'll tell them everything we know. And you…they trained you to think like a vampire, right?"

I nodded and slid close to him again.

"Yeah. Sadly."

"Well, we can use that. You'll know how they'll strategize…You'd know our weaknesses, what we need to work on."

I was only slightly appeased. I would still feel guilty if someone else were to get hurt whether they knew the whole story or not.

"A meeting…" It had…potential. "Okay, but I want to wait. We still have so much to do for the…funeral."

At the mention of the funeral Jacob's face fell and his body stopped shaking. It was like his whole body had deflated with the reminder. He'd been okay when he'd been thinking about keeping me safe, but now that he had to focus on Billy again, it seemed like all the energy had drained from his body.

"Hey," I said, moving so he could lean against my shoulder again. "Come here."

I began to massage his scalp again and he wrapped an arm over my middle. I turned around to face him so both my arms could wrap around him.

* * *

The next day Rebecca arrived. Rebecca and Rachel spent most of the day at Emily's. They were in charge of making the funeral arrangements. Jacob had wanted to help, but he just…couldn't. Whenever he'd get ready to plan anything his face would contort with pain. If anyone even mentioned Billy's name, Jacob's eyes would fill with moisture.

I didn't hold it against him. I was glad he didn't feel the need to hide his pain from me. Ever since I'd told him it was okay for him to let me see it, he didn't feel ashamed to show me.

If Jacob had stayed to help, I would have, too, but he hadn't, so we found something else to do. We were out in the woods, which I was okay with since I wasn't alone. I still had a slight problem with the shadows playing on the ground from the trees; some of them looked like monsters with claws. I stuck close to Jacob; he found it sort of amusing.

"So…a vampire doesn't bother you, but shadows scare you?"

I shrugged. "I have an overactive imagination, I guess. I mean, even when I was younger, I hated being alone at night. I would just freak out sometimes." I bit my lip briefly before talking again. "I used to have nightmares even before…all the vampire stuff. Ironically enough…they were about vampires. Um…I would be fighting them…always fighting them. I never knew why until…" I shrugged again. "I don't know, but even before, I was a firm believer in things changing in the dark. There's stuff there in the dark that isn't there in light." Or it seemed that way to me. "Oh, and storms? Hate 'em." I was sure Jacob actually knew that from when I'd come here when I was younger.

Those were my two irrational fears. I had no reason to be scared, but I was. Well, okay…maybe it _wasn't_ irrational because I knew what was out there, and unless I had a sudden case of amnesia I would always know what was out there. And the storms? Maybe I _did_ have a reason for that, too. Ever since I was little, I always thought things were worse when it was storming. And then after my parents died…when my many Guardians would _train_ me - I use that word laughingly - it would always seem escalated when it was thundering and lightning. It was like it was storming because of the training - fighting - and that made it worse…scarier.

Still…I should've grown out of it.

"Well, if it bothers you we can go back," Jacob said.

"No, it doesn't bother me when you're here. I feel safe with you here." And Jacob seemed really comfortable in the woods - which…of course he was because it was like a second home to him.

His eyes softened and the affection he had for me shined through. I smiled softly and grabbed his hand, lacing our fingers together.

"Maybe you're looking at it the wrong way," he said. "Don't look at the shadows. Look at the light filtering through the branches, at the beams. Focus on the good stuff."

Because I was more than human, I could see better than most, but I could also see _more_. To a regular human, the light coming through the trees would look regular - normal. But to me it looked rainbow-like. There were different shades of different colors.

There was green - mostly green - but there was also silver and gold. Pale silver and sunbeam gold. It was beautiful, and if I focused hard enough, it was easy to see why being scared here was wrong. It wasn't the woods itself that scared me, it was being _alone_ that frightened me most. The sense of abandonment that suddenly being alone could cause was enough to send me to my knees if I let it. _That_ was what scared me.

* * *

Later that day, we ended up at the beach and he told me he and his friends - read: the pack - would cliff jump into the water…for fun.

"Really?" My voice squeaked. How embarrassing.

"Yeah. It's not that hard. The first time is pretty scary, but after that…piece of cake."

I shook my head. "Jumping into water from about twenty feet up? Doesn't sound fun to me. At all."

"You scared of heights?"

"No," I said. I looked at the sand, a little embarrassed again. "I can't swim. I never learned."

"Why not?" he asked curiously.

"Um…I have sensitive skin, I guess. The sun was out all the time where I lived when my parents were…alive, and I burn easily. I couldn't…be out in the sun for a long time, so I never learned."

"Well, I'll teach you," Jacob said, "if you want. Don't have to worry about the sun here." He took on a thoughtful expression. "Come to think of it…I've never seen you in the water. Guess now I know why."

"Yeah."

Seth showed up a few minutes later. He had to tell us that Dr. Cullen had called Sam wanting to talk to me. Also, Bella Swan was at Emily's place.

I glanced at Jacob. I was sure that even though the Cullens were good vampires that he didn't want to hear about them because they _were_ vampires. But it didn't seem to bother him any more than usual. To be honest, Jacob didn't really have a problem with Carlisle…he even trusted him to a certain extent.

But Bella…Jacob had imprinted on me, sure, but…what would seeing Bella do to him now. Did he even _want_ to see her right now, after everything that was happening and everything that had happened between them?

"Jacob, what d'you wanna do?" I asked. "Do you wanna head back or…it's up to you."

Jacob pretty much ignored my question by asking one of his own. "Why would Carlisle be looking for you?"

"Michael was supposed to go see him, remember?"

"Right, I forgot."

I rubbed his arm soothingly. "That's okay. You've had a lot on your mind." I looked from Jacob to Seth and back again. "Anyway, I'll call them both later and tell them I'll meet them in a few days. Also let them know what happened. They might know which member of the Volturi would've come here."

"Not a few days," Jacob said, "Now."

"But, Jake," Seth started. "Rebecca and Rachel…they won't understand you taking off in the middle of everything."

"They don't have to know," Jacob answered.

"Are you sure you wanna go now?" I asked. "We could wait until after the…f-funeral."

Jacob shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes. "They got my dad, Crys. They're not gonna get you, too."

The fierce protectiveness he had for me leaked into his voice, and it made it deeper and rougher, huskier. It clearly said Jacob would gladly jump in front of a bus to keep me from getting hit, a bullet to keep me from getting shot. More importantly, he'd put himself between me and the Volturi if it meant keeping me safe. That wasn't a good place to be, wasn't a healthy place to be.

"What about Bella?" I asked. I felt immensely satisfied when his face became confused like he didn't know what I was talking about. "She came to see you, probably to see if you were okay. It would be rude to just leave without -"

"We'll take her with us," Jacob said. He turned to Seth. "Cover for us with the civilians?"

Civilians?

"Sure. Secret's safe with me."

"Good. Thanks."

Well, that was that, I guessed.

* * *

Okay, so...my latest offering. I know it's sad, but still. This is how I think Jacob would react. Not sure why, exactly. I hate making him suffer because his life sucks already, but...yeah, it can't all be lollipops and candy canes. LOL Enjoy.


	9. Chapter 9

Last chapter ended with Jacob and Crys heading to meet Bella. Let's see how it goes.

As always, I don't own anything you recognize. I own my characters and that's it.

Chapter Nine

Meeting Bella was a little awkward because I knew what had happened between them. I had known her a little bit when I'd come over the summers when I'd been younger, but we hadn't been _close_. We'd been nice enough to talk to each other. But now after not seeing her for such a long time…I had no clue what to say. Fortunately-or maybe unfortunately-Bella seemed to not know what to say either.

Luckily, Jacob was there; if he hadn't been, we never would've said one word to each other. Not because either of us were mean-unless she had changed since the last time I'd seen her-but because it appeared that neither of us were much good with socializing with people we didn't know very well.

"Bella…this is Crys, Crystal Evans. I don't know if you remember her or not, but she's staying with us now." He clenched his jaw at his slip up. "Me. Staying with _me_ now."

"Yeah. I, um…Alice said something about that." She turned to me. "Um…fishing trips, right? We would sometimes go together?"

So she remembered. "Yeah."

I took Bella in, her appearance, her uncomfortableness. Her chocolate brown eyes revealed how uncertain she was. She was wondering about Jacob's wellbeing, maybe, or wondering if she should've come here after all she had put Jacob through. Her brown hair was clinging to her face because of the rain; mine probably was too. Her tiny 5'4" frame was shivering-even though it was the beginning of August here, it was chilly; add in the pouring rain and it was freezing.

"Jacob," Bella's voice brought me back to the present. "I'm…I didn't know if you'd even want me here, but I had to come. I had to see if you were okay."

Bella cared about Jacob. I could tell from her voice. She even loved him to a certain extent, and suddenly I felt like I was intruding on what should've been a private conversation. Besides, with me here I was sort of putting Jacob in the middle and that probably wasn't a very comfortable position to be in.

"Um…Jacob, do you…I mean, I can go if you need a minute or two."

"Don't," he said softly, pleadingly, and I froze where I was. He grabbed my hand and began rubbing the back of it with his thumb. "You can stay. Please stay."

He had dangerous puppy dog eyes. _Seriously_. I was powerless against him. Them. His eyes. _God._

"Okay." I squeezed his hand, an unspoken agreement that I wasn't going _anywhere_. What with Billy…getting killed, and now with him seeing Bella again after her not visiting the whole summer, he needed a reminder that at least _someone_ wasn't going to leave him.

Him holding my hand also reminded me that he wasn't in the _middle_ of anything. He was completely on my side. When it came down to it, he would choose me every time. He wasn't caught between me and Bella.

Bella glanced at our hands, at our closeness, and her mouth opened slightly and she gasped. Did she know? Had Jacob explained imprinting to her? With as open as Jacob was…he probably had.

"Oh," she said softly. "Wow." So she did know.

Was that good or bad? Would she be happy for him? Or jealous that she wasn't the center of his world anymore?

Jacob apparently didn't want to get into it just yet-or more likely, he was more focused on me and my safety because he said, "We were actually planning on going to the Cullen's place. Carlisle called, needs to talk to her."

Bella nodded. "Oh, okay, well…"

"You can come if you want," I offered. She _had_ come to see Jacob, and she would find out the story anyway, sooner or later.

* * *

We showed up at the Cullen's unannounced, sort of. Carlisle _had_ called us, but hadn't told us to come over. He had, however, said he'd wanted to talk to me. This naturally led to talking to Jacob, too.

The Cullen's lived on the outskirts of Forks in a white rectangular house surrounded by woods. We were now in the Cullen's living room. All of the Cullen's were present. Carlisle and Esme; Alice and Jasper; Rosalie and Emmett; and Edward and Bella. Technically, Bella wasn't a Cullen yet, but she and Edward were to be married in less than a week, so…

I'd met Carlisle and Alice already. Carlisle seemed as patient and kind as he had before. Alice, who had been overenthusiastic the first time, now seemed subdued…maybe. Something told me that wasn't normal for her. I'd only met her once, but it had me worried. Something was wrong, maybe. Something…she'd seen?

Esme, Carlisle's wife, was soft looking, although I knew if I touched her she would be hard as stone. And cold as ice. She had wavy light brown hair and full lips. She looked like a woman straight out of an old black-and-white movie.

Jasper, Alice's boyfriend-or husband-was discomforting. He didn't speak to me, but it looked like he took everything in. Jasper had curly honey-blond hair and an intense gaze. He seemed to have a Southern type of style. Button-down shirt, jeans, and cowboy boots.

Rosalie had a super-model figure and if I had cared about appearances at all I would have been self-conscious. She looked like an air-brushed picture from a fashion magazine. She had long blond hair and her face was beautiful, if not friendly.

Emmett was a huge bear of a guy. He gave Jacob a run for his money in the muscle department. Emmett seemed nice enough-however nice a vampire could be. He had short dark hair and a pretty smile.

It didn't matter that I knew these were good vampires, though; it still made me feel a little off being in a house full of them. It was discomforting even though their golden eyes were proof that they didn't kill humans.

As soon as the feeling started…it disappeared. I felt peaceful now. It was…weird…not normal, not the natural order of things. I glanced at Jasper, who was still gazing intently at me. Was he…making me feel that way? Was that possible?

"Jasper has a gift," the one, Edward, spoke. He had a velvety musical voice. "He can change the emotions in a room. He wanted you to feel comfortable."

"Oh…okay." That wasn't weird at all.

Edward's lips quirked up slightly, and I began to take in his appearance. His features were perfect, of course, because he was a vampire, but I couldn't see how Bella would choose him over Jacob. _My_ Jacob.

It had to be a personality thing. Maybe he was really nice. And it wasn't that he was…unattractive, exactly, but…next to Jacob…yeah.

Edward was so white he probably glowed in the dark, but he was a vampire so that was to be expected. He had thin lips and hollow cheeks. Thick eyebrows. Untamed bronze hair-it was everywhere. His eyes were the color of butterscotch; he'd recently fed.

"So, you two know each other?" Edward asked politely, glancing from Bella back to me.

"A little," Bella answered, regaining his attention. "We used to hang out sometimes when I'd come visit Charlie during the summer."

Sometimes actually meant 'very little' because I'd spent most of my summers here with Jacob.

Edward glanced at Jacob and his brows furrowed. "I'm sorry about your father. If there's anything we can do…"

Jacob shook his head automatically. I wondered if it was because he was being offered help from a vampire, or because he was being offered help from _this_ vampire.

"There's not. And I have everything I need." He looked at me and smiled softly.

I felt heat fill my cheeks because _I_ was what he needed. Everything he needed. I could keep him happy even though everything else sucked right now.

Edward tilted his head. "You imprinted on her."

I stared at Edward hard; I'd almost given myself whiplash from turning my head so fast. How had he known that? How had he know what had happened to Billy? We hadn't said anything.

"I have a gift, too," Edward said, a small crooked grin on his lips. "I can read minds."

"Come again?" I said, mouth wide open.

"I can read minds."

"Oh." I had heard right, it seemed. "Wow. That's gotta be headachey."

Edward nodded gracefully. "It used to be. But I've learned to tune people out."

"Oh. Wow comes to mind again."

Why hadn't Jacob told me about the gifts some of the Cullen's had? It would've been nice to know so I could've controlled my thoughts a little. I'd practically been insulting Edward in my head the whole time I'd been here. Oops.

Letting that go for a minute, I turned to Carlisle. "You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes." Carlisle stood there-stone-still because vampires could stand still forever if they wanted. "Michael came to visit me. It…was a pleasant surprise. I hadn't seen him in over two hundred years. He made me aware that you were having dreams."

"Just one, actually."

"If your dream is an actual portent, I think I may know why the Volturi want you."

"Because I've been killing vampires?" I suggested hopefully. "And they don't like it." Although, they told me that's why I was here…so…

"Well, yes and no." Carlisle moved now. "It'll be easier if I start from the beginning. What do you know about your existence. Where you come from?"

"What? You mean, like, the ones that came before me?"

"Yes."

"Um…not much. Just that my story is a little like the Buffy mythology."

"Right. Only instead of being a Slayer, you're just a regular human girl with a few enhancements." I nodded to show I was following along. "The story's basically the same. Only instead of you being filled with the essence of a demon, you're filled with the essence of a vampire. Venom."

"But she's not a vampire," Jacob pointed out. "She has a heartbeat."

"Yes. Note I said she's a normal girl but with a few enhancements." He smiled at me kindly. "You were…always strong? Even growing up?"

"Well, not as strong as I am now, but yes, I was always stronger than the other girls my age." I eyed Carlisle suspiciously and then felt rude instantly. "How do you know all this?" I kept my tone friendly.

"The Volturi created you," Carlisle said, looking away. Was he ashamed? "Not you specifically, of course, but your line. It's why I left the Volturi. I didn't agree with them…experimenting with human life like that. You asked me if I'd ever met anyone like you, and I haven't. Not until you. But I know the story behind it."

"Why would they…" I didn't need to hear an apology or anything like that from Carlisle; he was obviously not happy with the fact that it had happened and it wasn't his fault anyway. I just wanted to know _why_.

"Because they could," Edward answered. "The Volturi are curious about everything. If they're after you, it's because they want you for something."

_Other than to control me_, I wondered.

"You said something about the essence of a vampire…" Jacob started. "What does that mean? I mean, I know it's venom, but…venom doesn't change her."

"The first human they experimented on had to ingest venom. The Volturi didn't know what would happen when they started, they were just curious as to what would happen if venom got into a human's system without said human being bitten. The result was someone…like you," Carlisle said to me. "It didn't work on everybody; some humans, it killed. Eventually the humans didn't even have to ingest it; they were just bitten and instead of becoming a vampire…they become something more than a human but less than a vampire."

So I had venom already in me? Or…I was made from venom? Or _something_. Was that why venom didn't change me?

"That's the general theory," Edward replied.

I glanced at Edward. I'd have to get used to the mind-reading thing.

"What's the general theory?" Jacob asked me, sound a little frustrated. _He _couldn't read my mind.

"The reason the venom didn't change me is because the first of my…line…had to ingest venom."

"Oh." Jacob seemed to be wrapping his mind around everything.

"When you met your first vampire…did something just _click_?" Carlisle asked. "You automatically knew how to…kill it?"

"It was a he, and yes. That's what happened. And I got stronger and more indestructible after I was bitten."

"That's when you were chosen. It could've been any girl who had the…gene…for lack of a better term. But because the vampires-maybe even the Volturi itself-came after you, you were…activated."

"Only your death can activate the next in your line," Edward added and Jacob growled.

"She is _not_ going to die."

"Of course she isn't," Carlisle soothed, probably because he didn't want to chance Jacob phasing in his living room. "It is very strange, though." He turned his attention back to me. "Most don't last as long as you have."

That was…encouraging _and_ discouraging. Encouraging because: Yay me for surviving. Discouraging because: How much longer could I last if the statistics were against me?

"The others were alone," Edward answered me. "They didn't have ties to this world. You do. It makes you fight harder. Live longer."

He looked at Bella and it made me wonder how exactly she was taking all this. But…she wanted to be a vampire so it probably didn't faze her at all.

My mind flashed back to the dream I'd had a few days back. I'd been captured, chained up, starved. Whoever had me had wanted to bring my vampire side out. Did I even _have_ a vampire side?

"If you feed…it will change you," Edward answered. So Michael had been right. "You'll be human still, but you will thirst for blood."

Again with the mind-reading thing. How did Bella stand it? Wasn't it…annoying? And invasive? Edward's lips quirked up again into a crooked smile. It was cute, and annoying, because I knew why he was grinning. He was enjoying bugging me. But it wasn't his fault, I just had to keep reminding myself that.

"Why would they want that side of me to come out?" I wondered out loud.

"In the…trial runs…if someone like you were to feed…you'd change a lot. Your thirst would be uncontrollable. It would lessen your humanity." This was Carlisle speaking again. "It would take someone of true strength of will to get back to any semblance of goodness."

My breath caught in my throat. I would become something Jacob was meant to kill.

"Yes," Edward answered my unspoken thought. "And they would use you."

"That isn't going to happen," Jacob said, but he didn't sound so sure.

I grabbed his hand in mine, mostly for my benefit, but kind of for his too. My touch always calmed him down, always reminded him that I was here. "No, it's not. Because as long as you're with me, I'm safe."

* * *

We stayed at the Cullen's for about an hour. I learned what I probably could've learned by watching Buffy. Most of it I already knew.

I was the only one in my generation-or existence. As long as I was alive…no other girl would be cursed with the duty I had. Alright…maybe it wasn't a duty…it was more a calling. The Volturi hadn't really known what they'd created until after they'd created it. They hadn't known that some humans-girls in particular-would change if they ingested venom, would change if venom got into the girls system without being bitten. They definitely hadn't known it would change the humans into something that would want to kill them.

I could have dreams that would tell me what was going to happen. Again, I already knew that. I'd had one recently. Alice had said that just because I'd seen it, didn't mean it was going to happen. It was just a possible future. The future changed with every decision that was made, so…it was possible, but not certain.

But for me to lose my humanity…the Volturi would probably love that. They'd find a way to control me and I'd be the ultimate killing machine, because aside from werewolves, I was the natural predator of vampires.

Moving all the new knowledge to the back of my mind…I began to focus on the present problem. Billy.

We'd be back to Jacob's house in about five minutes and I knew I'd have to make up something if Seth hadn't spoken to Rebecca yet.

Jacob was driving the Rabbit, I was in the passenger seat. He hadn't said anything since we'd gotten in the car, but it didn't bother me. I knew it was because he was worried. He'd work through it, and we'd talk again later. To be honest, though, I wasn't sure how much more Jacob could take without wanting to phase. He'd been stressed about me getting hurt anyway, but now things were just piling up. Me, Billy's death, having to keep the secret from Rebecca and Rachel. Granted, the sisters thing was the whole pack's problem; we all had to keep our identities secret.

Then there was Billy. His death would affect the whole tribe. He'd been an Elder and, if the tribe had been going by the same laws as they had started out with, Billy would've been Chief, which meant that, technically, Jacob would be now, which meant he'd have even more responsibilities than he already did. Which meant more stress for him that he didn't need.

My poor Jacob. My poor Jacob who had to grow up too fast and didn't deserve all this weight on his shoulders.

And then there was me. That would affect the whole pack, but Jacob would be the one who was affected the most. I was his imprint. That meant I was the main thing he was worried about. Keeping me safe was his priority. His happiness depended on it.

When we pulled onto the road that was his driveway, I grabbed his hand and then when we parked I moved a little closer, rubbing his arm gently with my fingertips. His arm twitched. Maybe he was ticklish.

"Jacob, come back to me. You haven't been yourself since we found out what I am." I swallowed nervously. "Is it…me? I mean, I know you're worried, but is it me? The story about how I was created?"

Was he…disgusted that I could turn into something that was less than human, and I didn't mean in a morphing-into-an-animal way. I mean in a cold-blooded-killer way. Did it change the way he felt about me?

"No, Crys." His beautiful mouth formed a thin line as he thought about what to say. "I just…I've never actually met with the Volturi, but I know they're used to getting what they want."

"Well, they won't get me." Not while I was here. "You've got my back. I have complete confidence that you'll protect me. As long as you're alive…they can't touch me." I pulled away slightly. I had to set things straight. "But, Jacob…one day a vampire will. It might be tomorrow or…a hundred years from now…"

"Crys…you just said as long as I'm around-"

"I know. But you're not gonna wanna be with me every second of every day. You will tire of me eventually. And one day…I won't be fast enough or strong enough. Most of it is luck or smarts. Getting a vampire who doesn't know how to fight or isn't smart enough to win. But all it takes is one, Jacob. One who's better than me, or…smarter. A stronger fighter-"

"_Stop_," Jacob said firmly, desperately. "I can't even think of being away from you. You don't know what it's like. I don't know if it's because it's new or because you're mine" -I smiled at the possessiveness in his voice- "but it's like…there are strings connected from me to you, and when I'm not with you I can feel them pulling. It almost hurts, Crys." His voice softened and got huskier. "When I'm not with you, it almost hurts."

The air was thick between us and I felt like I was having trouble breathing. It wasn't a bad thing, though. My heart started racing and I could hear it; I was sure he could too. I hadn't known he felt _that_ strongly about me, but now that he'd said it…_God_, he…loved me. Was…in love with me?

"I won't get tired of you. That's not a possibility. Even without the imprint thing…you're a very interesting girl."

"That's only because I fight vampires."

"No. The vampire thing aside…there's so much about you that's interesting."

"Like?" Because I was me, I had to ask.

"Like…you keep your books in alphabetical order. Same with your music. You'd probably do the same with the movies I own-which, feel free." I grinned at the facts he was sprouting off. "Yet…you use the bedroom floor as a closet, and you never make your bed. You don't mind cooking, but you hate doing dishes. You like rock music as long as there's no screaming.

"You have a very nice face, but you hate showing it off so you never put your hair up. You have a nice body" -he blushed when he realized that by saying that he'd admitted he was looking- "but you hide behind loose-fitting clothes because you don't want anyone to know."

Jacob was very observant. And perceptive. I was blushing…he spent way too much time picking up small details like that. It wasn't just the imprint thing, either, because he'd always been that way with the people he cared about.

"We should go inside," I said. I couldn't focus on the things he was saying yet. I'd need to go through them first-it was a process I had; I had to go through things in my head before I could start to accept them. "I'd like to have dinner done by the time your sisters get home."

Jacob, being who he was, knew I needed time to process and he didn't get mad that I didn't acknowledge the things he'd said-verbally anyway; physically, my face was probably beet red and my heart was going about a mile a minute.

"What're you fixing?" he asked, us getting out of the car.

"I was thinking we could have breakfast for dinner, actually."

"Cool." Jacob paused when he reached the ramp. I knew he was thinking of Billy again. He had that far away look on his face that he got when he thought about his dad. He'd pushed Billy up and down this ramp many times in his life, had maybe even built it himself.

"Hey." I grabbed his hand again. "It's okay. Take your time."

He sighed impatiently. "I wish it wasn't so hard. How do you…how am I supposed to get past it?"

He'd been through this before with his mother, but he'd been so young it…had been easier. He hadn't known his mother as long, and he'd known Billy his whole life, Billy had been the one that had been there, and now…he wasn't.

"Jacob…it's only been two days. I know it probably feels like a lot longer with everything going on, but you just…you need time. To process and heal. I don't know when or how it happens, but one day you'll wake up and it won't hurt as much. You'll be able to think about him, how he was before…and…things will be better."

"When did it happen for you? What…helped?"

"It took a couple months to stop thinking about them as much. Even then I still had nightmares, but you already know that." I squeezed his hand. "But, Jacob, I was alone when it happened. The only one I could turn to was my Guardian, and trust me, until Michael, none of them cared as long as I was doing my job. You're _not_ alone. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

Jacob took that in, inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly. "I think I'm okay now. I can…go in now."

"Are you sure? I don't mind waiting." I had all the patience in the world when it came to him, it seemed.

Jacob shook his head. "I'm okay."

I kept our hands together as we walked through the house to the kitchen. As soon as we were there I let him go to get dinner ready.

Pancakes, eggs, bacon, and sausage. I fixed extra because I knew that apart from me and Jacob, Rebecca would be there. As would Rachel. Granted, Jacob would eat more than Rachel, Rebecca, and myself combined, but still…

By the time everything was done the two others were here. They told us the funeral would be tomorrow around mid-day. The whole tribe would be there because of the whole Elder thing. We'd had dinner late so it didn't take long for us to go to bed afterwards. Jacob and I weren't sleeping, of course, but we were sitting there.

I wanted to show him _why_ I'd been talking the way I had been earlier. I needed him to know that I hadn't been saying it to hurt him, I'd said it because it was the truth. I just didn't know how he would take it.

"Jacob, if I show you something, do you promise not to get mad?"

"I won't get mad at _you_," he clarified.

"Fair enough."

I grabbed and pulled at the sleeve of my right arm, uncovering the shoulder part. I moved it enough to reveal the bite marks there. I'd already told him the story behind it, so I didn't feel the need to repeat myself.

"This happened when I was thirteen."

Jacob had immediately tensed and now he breathed heavily. He wasn't mad, though. Just upset. He hesitantly brought his hand up to trace the marks with his fingers. I knew the scar was a few degrees lower than the rest of my body temperature. Something to do with the venom, I was sure.

"Does it still hurt?" he whispered, though I didn't think he'd meant to.

"No," I answered honestly. "It's sensitive, but it doesn't hurt." I sighed, remembering how it felt when the venom had hit my system. "I was lucky. If the vampire had wanted to kill me, I'd be dead."

Just as I knew it would, a growl erupted from his chest.

"Don't get mad, I was just stating a fact."

He pulled me close to him because he needed me, it seemed. All this talk of me dying or getting captured was getting to him. He pressed his lips to my bare shoulder, almost like he was easing a past ache.

I sighed from the feeling of his mouth on my skin. It felt…good. It kind of tickled, though. Then his teeth grazed over the marks and I gasped. It had sent a shock through me. His soft lips traveled up my neck to my earlobe and he nipped at it.

I turned my head to catch his mouth with mine and then it was a dance of synchronicity-lips pressing against lips, tongues touching tongues. Jacob had told me once that it was like our lips had been made to fit each other-like we'd been molded for each other. We belonged together, to each other. He was mine and I was his.

Warmth that had nothing to do with Jacob's body heat spread through me. It started in my stomach and kept going…down. I was sure I felt moisture gathering between the folds of my most intimate place. It wasn't bad, but…kind of frustrating, like…I needed more. God, what was he doing to me?

Jacob continued kissing me and I laced my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. I scratched gently at his scalp. I pulled him closer, caressing my tongue against his. He let out a groan and his hands went to my sides. He flipped me so I was laying down on my back and I was being pressed against the bed by the hard, long length of body that was Jacob. And, somehow, our lips were still connected.

He was between my legs. Between. My. Legs. That's all I could think. My brain was no longer functioning at its proper levels.

I ran my fingers over his back before breaking our kiss. I wanted-needed-to see him. Needed to make sure this was okay. I moved my hands down to just above the waistband of his jeans and scratched softly over the arch there. The dip in his back was incredibly sexy, and apparently he hadn't expected me to touch him there because he froze for a second. He didn't even breathe. It was like he'd forgotten how to.

Then he…unfroze. "Crys…I don't think…"

"What?" What did he not think? How was he even thinking? My brain was slowly turning to mush, so how could he think rationally about anything?

I knew he wanted to do something. I could feel him pressing against me. I liked the sounds he made when I moved against him-the little gasps and moans I was pulling from him. Then it was like his mood shifted.

"You've gotta stop moving like that. I don't wanna lose control."

"You won't. You won't hurt me. I trust you to stop when we need to." Seriously, he was the one that seemed hesitant in this situation, whereas I was…um, all systems go, here.

From the way he was looking at me I could tell he didn't trust himself. Not with this, and not with me. Then something occurred to me. I was pretty sure Jacob had never done this before either. Everything that was new to me was new to him, too. What if he didn't _want_ to do anything but kiss right now?

"Jacob?" I cupped his cheek with my hand and, as always, he leaned into my touch. "What is it? Are you okay?" He was looking at me so oddly. His brown eyes were almost black and he seemed very intent about something.

"You smell really good," he said emphatically. "Like…really good."

Didn't I usually? "I don't understand," I said.

"You…" He thrust against me and I got it.

The scent he was smelling was…me. He could somehow smell that I was aroused. That was it, right? That had to be. It was horrifyingly embarrassing. And it was driving the wolf inside Jacob insane. His hands locked around my waist-the wolf was in control now-and his fingers were almost bruising. The friction he was creating by moving against me was…beyond words. It was like I could see sparks whenever he hit just the right spot. But I didn't want this while the wolf was in control. I wanted the man here, not the animal.

"Jacob!" His name was supposed to have called him back to me, but he'd hit a bundle of nerves when he'd rocked against me, and it had come out a completely different way.

A rumble burst from his chest and turned into a low human growl. His lips found my shoulder again, which was still bare, and nipped at it with his sharp teeth. Again a shock went through me. Along with a wave of heat and desire.

Then his teeth sank into my skin, smooth like a knife sliding through butter. I gasped in a breath and arched against him, only this time it was from pain. I let out a small cry as tears pricked my eyes, and the scent of blood filled the air. I struggled beneath him and Jacob ripped away from me, hand over his mouth, eyes wide with horror. He hadn't _meant_ to do that.

"Oh my God, Crys, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that."

My hand went to my shoulder and I wiped at the blood there. I stared at it, horrified and dumbfounded. Jacob had bitten me. What was that about?

"I don't know why I did that," Jacob said again, his voice as ashamed as I'd ever heard it. "I didn't mean to…do that." He moved cautiously toward me again and touched my shoulder, much like he had earlier. It was like he either thought I was scared of him now-which, I was more in shock than anything else-or he didn't know if he was in complete control yet. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Hurting your imprint was the absolute worst thing a werewolf could do. Not only that, the way he saw it, he'd betrayed my trust. I'd trusted him to know when to stop, and he hadn't. Jacob would have serious guilt over this for a long time if I didn't say something soon.

"I'm okay. I'll be healed by morning." Maybe. I wasn't sure. If werewolf teeth effected me like vampire teeth did, I wouldn't heal-heal. I'd have another scar. And a reminder for Jacob that he had hurt me. Hopefully it didn't scar.

"That doesn't matter," Jacob said, shaking his head, voice almost frantic. "I should never have…I felt my control slipping. I should've stopped, and I didn't. Look what happened." He moved off the bed quickly and walked to the door. I was just about to tell him to not leave when he said, "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

I wondered where he was going, and a normal person wouldn't have been able to hear as well as me, but I picked up the sound of his footsteps going past Rachel and Rebecca's room to the bathroom. There was water running, a cabinet opening and closing, and then footsteps again, coming back this time.

He came in with a wash cloth and a first aid kit. He gently rubbed the material over my new marks, clearing the blood away. I noticed his hands were shaking a little, and I longed to reach out to him, tell him everything was okay, that I was okay, there'd been no lasting damage. I was good. But I didn't do any of those things.

In his mind, I knew he was feeling that since he'd done this, he needed to fix it. He needed to take care of me, make me better, make the wrong he'd committed right again.

After my skin was blood free, Jacob put some anti-bacteria cream on a wad of cotton. His hands were still shaking, and I still longed to reach out and comfort him.

"This will sting a little," he said softly.

And it did sting, but it wasn't too bad. I didn't like the smell, though. It was too medicine-y for me.

Nothing more was said until after he'd placed a bandage on my shoulder. And even then what was said wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"Do you want me to leave?" Jacob asked quietly. I could tell he thought my answer would be yes.

"I wish you wouldn't." I was only being honest. "Stay with me. Talk to me. Tell me what just happened."

"I bit you." His voice was full of disgust, self-hate, and self-recrimination. "I made you bleed."

"Yeah, but you didn't mean to." _Oh, way to go with the comfort, Crys_, I scolded myself. "I mean…" I didn't exactly know what I meant. I'd never been in a situation like this before, so of course I didn't know what I meant, what to say to make him feel better. "I mean…I'm okay. No…lasting harm done."

I grabbed his hand and he tried to pull away-it stung because he'd never rejected a touch from me before-but I held on tightly. He wasn't getting away that easily. We _had_ to talk about this or he'd never get over it. He hadn't meant to do it, and I'd already forgiven him, so…it was all him now.

"Now, what made you do that?"

"I don't know. One minute I was fine and then I caught your…scent. And…"

My scent? Was that what had made him bite me. If that was it…we _really_ had a problem.

"Then I just…something told me to do that. Like…it was the right thing to do even though I know it wasn't." He looked down at our hands. "God, I'm sorry."

"Hey." I moved closer to him and slid to my knees. "Come here." I cupped his chin with my hand to make him look at me because he wasn't budging on his own. "Please don't hate yourself. You didn't know that would happen. This is new to you, new to both of us. It's probably like…like the phasing thing. You just need to learn to control it…or something like that."

"I'll need to talk to Sam about it. I can't do that to you again."

I wasn't too keen on the idea of Jacob telling Sam, but…if it would make the pitiful look on Jacob's face go away then I guess I was all for it.


	10. Chapter 10

Next offering here. LOL. Anyway, enjoy. :)

As always, I don't own anything you recognize from the books.

Chapter Ten

Getting up the next morning was hard. Hard because I knew the funeral was today. Hard because tomorrow the events of everyday living resumed. Without Billy. We would have to go on without Billy.

That morning, the first thing Jacob did was check my shoulder where he'd bitten me. I still couldn't really wrap my head around _why_ he'd done it. My scent had appealed to him…my _arousal_. Oh, God. How embarrassing. And problematic because I felt that _a lot_ when I was around him.

The bite marks on my shoulder had already scabbed over. I wasn't sure if they would scar or not yet, but hopefully not. I didn't want Jacob thinking about this whenever he saw them. The marks were surrounded by a bruise, but that was to be expected, so it didn't surprise me much.

He ran his thumb over the marks and his face looked all guilty again. "I'm really sorry."

I grabbed his hand with one of mine and then reached up to cup his face. I had to let him know there was no harm done. Not really. Not anything that really mattered, anyway.

"Jacob, please stop doing that. Looking like that. It kills me that you're beating yourself up about this. You didn't know it was gonna happen. You'll know when to stop next time."

"Right. There can't be a next time until I talk to Sam. See why I did that."

I nodded sadly. Why did he have to blame himself? I was the one who hadn't been able to control myself. He'd known when to stop, but I had pushed him to continue, so really, this was all my fault.

I dropped my hands to my sides and exhaled slowly. "We should get ready."

"Yeah," he said, looking away.

"Jacob, what're we gonna do? I mean, what will we be expected to do? How do they…I mean…" My breathing hitched and my eyes began stinging. "What's gonna happen to Billy?"

I'd held up pretty well the last few days, but God, if there was a day for grieving it was today. And I didn't know what to expect. At all. Did they burn their people at funerals? Send them downstream in a canoe or a kayak? Did they hold regular funerals? I hoped so. I didn't think I could watch Billy's body go up in flames. Come to think of it, burning bodies probably wasn't high on funeral traditions here. Vampire associations and all.

Somewhere in the middle of my thoughts the tears started pouring down my cheeks and Jacob pulled me against his chest. I wrapped my arms securely around him, locking my hands together behind his back. Just having him close, holding me, was enough to make the hurt go away slightly, make it a dull throb instead of a deep ache.

"We'll go to James Island," he answered shakily. "That's where our burial ground is. They'll have a ceremony because he was the chief, or would've been. A few people will give speeches and then we'll come back here and…" he trailed off. He didn't know what we'd do. That part was still a mystery.

"Are you gonna have to do anything?"

I meant would he be expected to take over Billy's chiefdom right away? I meant would he be able to handle it if he did? Because Jacob was strong and capable and everything else good and…good that I could come up with, but he was still only eighteen. Much too young for chief responsibilities. Whatever those were.

* * *

After leaving Jacob's room I went to see Rachel and Rebecca in their room. Rachel was trying to figure out what to wear - she kept changing because she didn't know what Billy would've wanted her wearing. Rebecca was trying to get her to calm down. Rebecca was already dressed in a simple silk blouse with black slacks and heels.

"Guys…I don't have anything nice to wear. Do you think you can help me?" It was true, all I had were clothes I could fight in. I hadn't had to fight in a while; I could probably go shopping for other clothes now.

The twins were about two inches shorter than me, and my muscle-tone was more defined, but I was sure we could work something out. Besides, if Rachel was helping me, it was taking her mind off of her own dilemma.

"Sure. Um…you can just choose whatever you want," Rachel said, throwing open her closet. "Everything's clean. I've been, uh…washing clothes a lot lately." To keep her mind off of other things.

"Thank you."

As I began looking through the stuff Rebecca began pacing the small room. I knew why, but it still kind of made me nervous.

"Ya know...when I heard about Dad…I actually sat down and watched a baseball game," Rebecca said, chuckling bitterly. "I'd never watched a baseball game in my life, but…" She sat down on the bed. "And then I thought…'well, Dad's never gonna see another baseball game.' I'd never watched a game with him, and now…I won't be able to."

"Oh, Becca," Rachel said, forgetting about her clothing problem. She sat beside her sister and I began going through the closet to give them the illusion of privacy.

Rachel wore girly clothes. The jeans were okay - low-riders, but okay. The skirts were all…frilly and poofy and…ew. I would stay away from those. No skirts for me. Dress pants…maybe, _hopefully_, she had dress pants. They just weren't in here. I would ask when they were done talking.

The shirt I picked out was pitch black. It had long flowing sleeves that covered half my hands. The cotton material was covered by what felt like lace. This was perfect. I liked it. Then I looked down, and cringed.

"Oh, wow, look at those," I muttered, noticing that the V-neck showed off my cleavage. Definitely changing the shirt.

When I switched tops I picked one that had a rounded neck and it didn't show anything. This one had spider-webby sleeves, just as long as the other one. It fit snugly against my curves, which I didn't like, but it was nicer than anything I owned so I'd have to deal.

"Here. You look lost," Rachel said. "Wear this instead."

She apparently wasn't talking to Rebecca anymore. She was handing me a white top and - gulp - a black skirt. At least there was no frill in sight.

Changing my shirt _again_ I noticed that this was just a plain white shirt. It was just the right size. Not too loose and not too tight. Then there was the skirt. It wasn't a problem, _per se_, it's just I wasn't used to them. It stopped a little below my knees. I tugged at it to try to make it go lower. No cigar.

"I feel really stupid in this," I said, still trying to make the skirt longer. "I'll _look_ stupid in this." I didn't do girly very well.

"You look beautiful," Rachel disagreed. "Not stupid. Jacob'll think you look beautiful."

"Hm." That statement was _not _fair.

I crossed my arms over my chest and then placed them back at my side when I noticed it made my breasts look bigger. I actually looked like a girl with girl parts, and not a girl who was trying to hide them.

"Come sit down," Rachel said. "We'll do your hair for you."

"My hair?" I asked, running my fingers through my locks. "What's wrong with my hair?"

"Nothing. It's just…you never do anything with it," Rebecca answered. "It's really pretty, but...it's just there."

"You should wear it up. You have such a nice face, you shouldn't hide it," Rachel added.

"Oh, um…"

I didn't know what to say to that so I let her lead me to the bed and I sat. Rachel picked up her brush and ran it through the wavy strands. When she was done she grabbed a clip and pinned half my hair up, bringing my bangs back. They no longer cupped my face. Then she handed me a little mirror.

"See, better already."

"Hm."

I looked at myself and barely recognized the girl staring back at me She was…actually pretty. Her eyes were red-rimmed from crying, but she was still pretty. She was me. My lips were pouty. My lips were always like that; pouty and pink.

I looked like someone who could stand beside Jacob and belong there. I could belong _here_, period.

"Thank you," I whispered. I was going to say more but someone's voice interrupted me.

"You guys ready?" Someone knocked and stuck his head in. "We should really start…to…"

It was Paul's voice. Paul, who had trailed off for some reason. I looked up to see what his problem was and saw him staring at Rachel in open-mouthed shock. His expression changed dramatically every millisecond. Shock, acceptance, serenity, reverence. _Reverence_. Like Rachel was his own personal miracle.

I let out a small gasp and stood up to my feet, almost dropping the mirror I was holding.

"Oh,' I said shakily. "Oh…um…"

Rachel and Rebecca looked at me, concerned. "You okay?" they asked in unison.

"I'm…um…yeah," I said, sounding unconvincing to my own ears. "I'm gonna go and…um…let you get ready."

When I reached the door I grabbed Paul's arm and said, "Come on, Rachel needs to get ready."

We walked out into the living room and I found most of the pack were already there. They were fully dressed. Nicely…but nothing fancy. Quil and Embry were on the couch. Sam was there with Emily, who looked like she'd been crying recently, too. Seth was with Leah, who for once, didn't look stone-faced. They were both sad…probably reliving the death of their own father. Sue, their mom, was here too with them. Jared was here without Kim. The two younger ones - Collin and Brady, I thought their names were - were beside Quil and Embry.

Jacob wasn't here. He was probably still in his room. I longed to go to him, help him, but I needed to know something first. I nodded for Paul to follow me outside and he obeyed without question. We walked far enough away that we'd have some semblance of privacy, and then I asked what I'd been dying to know.

"Did you imprint on Rachel?" I pretty much blurted it out. There was no subtle way to ask that, anyway.

The happiest look I'd ever seen on Paul spread across his face. Wow. He _had_ imprinted. That was good for him. And Rachel. She would need somebody to help her and Paul would be whatever she needed through this.

"Oh. Wow. Okay. Um…what're you gonna do about it?

"What d'you mean?"

"Well, Rachel doesn't know about…anything. And you _can't_ just tell her. You'll scare the living daylights out of her."

"Well then, I won't tell her yet," Paul said. "It'll be fine."

Since when was he all optimistic? Was _that_ the power of the imprint talking? Maybe because it was new?

"Won't it be fine?" Paul asked, uncertain, and I realized maybe he wasn't so optimistic after all. He was just pretending. When I didn't answer automatically, he added, "Why wouldn't it be fine?" He looked devastated.

"I never said it wouldn't," I said quickly. "It's just…she's a normal human. You're gonna have to be careful with her. Most people, when they hear the word 'werewolf' they think silver bullets and full moons and…well, evil." I grabbed his arm reassuringly. "Now, she's gonna need someone over the next couple of days. Billy's death is really messing her up. Since you imprinted on her, I guess that means you can help her the most…"

"Got it," Paul said, and then… "What do I do?"

I shook my head. "Well, you guys are friends at least, right? Just be there for her. That's all you can do. Besides, isn't it ingrained or whatever? Jacob always knows what I need before I even have to ask for it." I grinned slightly. "Just keep your hands to yourself. Now is not the time to get grabby."

A smile found its way to Paul's mouth, and so I figured my job was done. Now I needed to get back to Jacob.

* * *

Jacob was still in his room when I got inside, so that's where I went. Jacob had on a long-sleeved black button up shirt and a nice pair of jeans. It fit him and the occasion, somehow.

"Hey," I said, closing the door behind me. "You, uh, almost ready?"

"Yeah," he said, glancing my way. Then he just sort of…stared. "You…um…"

Then I remembered the outfit I had on and I started fidgetting, shifting my weight from foot to foot. I grabbed my skirt and pulled it down…or tried unsuccessfully. It just wouldn't become longer.

"Um…Rachel and Rebecca got a hold of me," I explained sheepishly. "I didn't have anything nice to wear and Rachel loaned me this. They, uh…they did my hair, too. Told me I shouldn't hide my face because it's nice."

"You shouldn't hide your face," Jacob said, stepping forward and grabbing my hands. "Because it's beautiful."

He'd made it a point to tell me that before quite a few times, but I still had the same reaction; I looked down and blushed. The fact that _this_ guy here thought _I_ was beautiful still amazed me.

"And stop fidgetting," he teased lightly. "Your clothes are fine."

"Really?" I looked up at him. "I feel stupid in this," I repeated my earlier words.

"Oh, yes, very stupid. So stupid you're making me wanna kiss you. It's like I have no will of my own."

I shook my head, smiling gently. "No will of your own, huh?"

"Nope. It's like your lips are just calling to me."

Uh-huh. Only Jacob could act this way and get away with it. Yup. All corny and stuff. If any other guy said these thing, I'd probably laugh at him.

He tipped my chin up with a finger and his lips met mine for just a brief second. He pulled away too soon for my liking, but I knew it was because we had places we needed to be.

"So, are you planning on going barefoot…or…" He glanced at my feet, which, obviously, were bare.

"No. I have these little flats I'm gonna wear." I'd had boots that I'd rather have worn, but they would've clashed with the skirt. "Oh, and pretty much the whole pack is in your living room."

I realized he probably knew that what with his enhanced senses and all, but I just thought I'd mention it.

"Yeah, I know. I'm avoiding them as long as I can."

"Why? They just want to help you."

"Yeah. Everyone wants to help. All I need to do is run. Just for a little while. Actually, all I need to do is phase. The wolf will take care of the rest."

"Do you…have to run?" I asked hesitantly. "You can't just go somewhere we can be together? I haven't seen you as a wolf much since I found out you are one. I mean, unless you want time alone, then I understand that." And why the hell was I being so clingy all of a sudden?

"I don't have to run," Jacob said. "I just didn't want you thinking you _had_ to be there."

"I _want_ to."

I went in search of my shoes; they were in the room _somewhere_. I was pretty sure, anyway.

"So…are we going to have that meeting today, or…" I trailed off. I was talking about the meeting where I'd give the pack all the information I had and then let them decide what they wanted to do with it. Let them each, as an individual, decide whether they wanted to risk their lives to help protect me.

"I don't know. I haven't talked to Sam yet about anything. I was thinking we should have a bonfire. Everyone will know it's serious, but it'll be a comfortable atmosphere."

"Yeah. Good. That's good."

I found my shoes and slipped them on. I noticed that Jacob had on dark brown work boots. I also noticed that my shoes were about half the size of his. Everything about him was large. I was tiny compared to him…compared to the whole pack, actually. Yes, I was 5'8'', but size-wise…I was tiny. And, okay, okay… height-wise I was tiny compared to them too.

"You ready?" he asked, holding his hand out to me.

"As I'll ever be," I said, intertwining our fingers. And for a brief second in time, everything was okay.

* * *

When we arrived at First Beach I noticed that there were more people than I could count. It didn't surprise me; Billy had been very well respected. I also noticed boats…lots and lots of boats. We would be riding them to James Island, where the ceremony was going to be held.

When Jacob had told me that we'd had to go to James Island, it hadn't really computed that we'd have to cross the water to get there. I blamed my grieving spell for that But now that my brain had put the pieces together I began to fidget again.

"What's wrong?" Jacob asked immediately.

"Water," I whispered. "Can't swim." I knew he'd remember that because I'd already told him, but I thought it was worth mentioning again.

"You'll be fine," he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "I won't let you fall in."

I bit my lip nervously. "What if I get sick? I've never been on a boat before. I could get sick and then I'd ruin these clothes and the funeral and everyone would -"

I stopped talking when Jacob pretty much buried my face in his chest by hugging me with both arms. It was different than most of the other hugs he'd given me. This was a tight bear-hug, or maybe it would be a wolf-hug? If I was a regular person, I'm pretty sure my ribs would've cracked. But I wasn't regular, and as it was, I welcomed his tight embrace. I returned it, locking my hands together behind his back.

None of this was about me not being able to swim or thinking I was going to get seasick, really. It was about Billy and the fact that he wasn't here anymore. I was just nit-picking about things that didn't really matter.

I was crying again and we weren't even at the ceremony yet. I was crying and on the verge of passing out because I couldn't breathe. Jacob was holding me tightly - a little too tightly - and for a second I considered passing out just to make the pain go away for a while. But, no, that would've been selfish.

"Um…oxygen becoming an issue," I said softly and Jacob immediately loosened his grip. I breathed again. "Much better."

"Yeah. Sorry. Sometimes I forget my own strength."

I sniffled once and nodded. "It's okay. I can breathe again."

"As long as you _keep_ breathing, we'll be okay."

* * *

When we separated into groups to get in boats, the pack still stayed pretty close together. I was with Jacob, Rachel, Rebecca, and Charlie. Charlie was the most composed, but I was sure that was only because he preferred to do his grieving alone.

Bella wasn't here, and I thought it was a little weird, but then I remembered she'd had a wedding to plan or have or something like that. Maybe her and Edward were on their honeymoon now or something. Who knew? It didn't matter anyway.

Sam, Emily, Quil, Embry, and Jared shared a boat. Sam and Jared had calm and stoic masks in place. It reminded me of the time I'd seen the same mask on Jacob's face. I wondered if Jacob had gotten it from them, but whatever…I hadn't liked it on Jacob and I didn't like it on them. Quil and Embry weren't crying, but I could tell they were upset. Emily, though, was crying. Actually, I wasn't sure she'd ever stopped since she'd gotten to the house earlier.

In another boat were Paul, Sue Clearwater, Seth, Leah and Quil Sr., Quil's grandfather. Leah had the same sour expression she always had; Seth was actually crying, which literally broke my heart because he was usually a generally happy, energetic kid, so I hated seeing him his way; Quil Sr. was holding it together pretty well; Sue, however, wasn't; Paul…well, he was focused on Rachel.

I glanced up at Jacob to see if he'd noticed, but he was looking straight ahead, a single solitary tear rolling down his cheek. I leaned into him and pressed my head against his arm. It felt weird actually finding material there; I was so used to it being bare.

Everything was quiet and calm. The gray water was still, like even it could feel the seriousness, it knew we needed to get across it with as little problems as possible. The sky was actually blue today, no rain in sight. All the elements were working together - earth, fire, wind, and water…maybe not fire - to make sure this day when by as smoothly as we could hope for.

When we reached the island we all gathered together around Billy's casket. It had been brought over before today, I was sure, because I hadn't seen it while crossing the water. The casket was open so I hid my face in Jacob's shoulder. I couldn't just…look at Billy lying there all…lifeless and…

"Oh, God," I whispered, grabbing onto Jacob's hand and squeezing. If he'd been normal, I may have broken his fingers. But Jacob didn't complain, he didn't even flinch.

The funeral went by in a sort of blur. I zoned in and out, sometimes getting lost in my thoughts and not paying attention to what was going on. I knew Quil Sr. talked first about the Quileute ancestors and how they'd welcome Billy now that it was his time to be with them.

Charlie talked about how Billy had been as a person in general: kind-hearted, best friend anyone could ask for. I knew they shared the interest of baseball, but that was pretty much it. Through that, though, they'd bonded, they'd shared a connection that was stronger than your normal friendship.

After Charlie quit talking I pretty much blanked out. I came in and out of focus, like a camera lens being adjusted. I didn't fully wake up until we were getting ready to leave and Jacob pulled away from me. _That_ would probably wake me up from anything.

I looked up at him, confused. Where was he going? Didn't he need me right now?

"I'm gonna ride back with Sam. Tell him the situation, see what he wants to do."

"Oh. Okay." I looked at the ground now. "I'll see you on the other side."

As Jacob walked away I glanced around at the people surrounding me. I focused on Paul, who was focused on Rachel, so I walked over to him.

"Hey, uh, we have an extra seat in the boat. Do you wanna ride with us?"

Paul beamed as much as was possible in this situation. "Yeah, sure. Thanks."

"No problem."

Rachel, Rebecca, Charlie, Paul, and I walked to the water front where our transportation awaited us. Rachel was holding Rebecca, who was crying openly. Rachel seemed…restrained, maybe? Like she wanted to cry, but wouldn't allow herself to. Charlie seemed edgy. Emotional stuff in public probably embarrassed him. Paul was a mixture of emotions: happy to have found Rachel even though he didn't have her with him yet; sad about the situation in general; nervous about _how_ he was going to get closer to Rachel; even more nervous about how she'd take the whole werewolf thing.

Poor Paul.

My eyes were still stinging and my brain was still thinking as I got into the boat. Paul sat beside me on one bench, Rachel and Rebecca were on another. Charlie sat on the one between us.

"So, why isn't Jacob riding with you?" Paul asked curiously. "Are you guys fighting or something?"

"No," I answered quickly and quietly. Thanks to our better-than-human hearing we could speak softly and no one else could eavesdrop. "No, it's just he wanted to talk to Sam about something. Um, about me, actually."

"Why? Because of the letter that bloodsucker left you?" Paul had been one of the ones to find the letter. "That wasn't your fault, you know?"

"So everyone keeps saying," I said, looking out to First Beach. "Anyway, I'm gonna explain some stuff to you guys, and then I'm gonna give you a choice. Each of you will decide what you want to do, individually. I don't want anyone risking their lives if they don't want to."

Paul shook his head and brushed his shoulder against mine. "That's a nice gesture and all, but nobody's going to say no. We take care of what's ours. And you are…ours." He grinned a little. "We're wolves, we're territorial and protective. It's in our nature."

"Right." I smiled back half-heartedly. I glanced around to see if the other three had heard anything about the wolf thing. They hadn't or if they had, they weren't letting us know. "Well, still, I want everything out there that should be. I want everyone to know that I don't expect them to -"

"They do know," he interrupted. "_I_ know. We _want_ to protect you. I mean, you weren't here before and you don't know about the whole Bella thing, but he was a wreck. Now that you're here, he's back to his old self again. Pre-wolf. He's happy again. Smiling all the time."

I'd helped fix Jacob? I couldn't wrap my head around that concept. I could barely keep _myself _from falling apart so how had I fixed the almost perfect man-wolf that had been a wreck? It didn't seem possible.

"How much did Jacob tell you about him and Bella?"

"Um…not much. Just that Edward left and Bella was pretty much…broken. Jacob helped piece her back together."

"Hm. Did he tell you she left him to go save Edward?"

"Save Edward?" How had Bella come to the conclusion that she could've saved Edward? And what had she needed to save him from?

"Yeah. He'd been ready to commit vampicide."

I snorted - very un-ladylike. "Vampicide?"

"Yeah, vampire-suicide." We both grinned at the term. I was sure he'd made it up on his own. "Anyway, for some reason her bloodsucker thought Bella had committed suicide. He went to the guys who are after you. He wanted to die too."

"And then she just…left Jacob…after everything?"

"Yeah. Edward left her in the woods by her house. She followed after him, got lost. Sam's the one that found her. He'll never forget what she looked like. Lifeless…like a zombie. She was alive, but she wasn't there. That's what the leech did to her…and she still went back to him."

Idiot girl.

"Jake brought her back to life, was there for her when no one else was. He helped her live again, but when the bloodsucker needed her she just took off, no questions asked. Left Jake high and dry."

I let out a sharp breath…a breath of pain. Poor Jacob. If I ever treated anyone like that I hoped I got severely punished. I would deserve a slow and torturous death by vampire bites.

"Even after she came back, Jake was there for her. Even after she put him through hell."

I nodded emphatically. "Yeah, that sounds like him." Jacob had always been unwavering when it came to loyalty and his emotions. He'd always followed what he felt inside.

And as for Bella…I was beginning to like her less and less. I got that she couldn't help who she loved, no matter how irrational it was, but how could she have strung Jacob along like that? Wouldn't the smarter and less painful thing to have done be to let him go? If the feelings hadn't been there…if she couldn't have given Jacob what he'd wanted or needed, why had she even bothered going back to him? Why hadn't she just broke his heart and made it a clean break rather than take for granted the fact that Jacob was there when she wanted him and took off when she didn't?

It was kind of a moot point now, though, because Jacob was with me. He belonged with me. It still irked my nerves that someone had taken advantage of the innate kindness that was instilled in Jacob. Jacob had probably let her walk all over him, hoping to change her mind. Obviously, it hadn't worked.

When we reached the other side - finally - I made my way out of the boat and over to the one Jacob was in. Jacob, who was glaring past me and at Paul. Had Sam said something about Paul imprinting on Rachel? Did Sam even know? I knew Paul got on Jacob's nerves sometimes, but if that was the case - the imprinting thing - then Jacob should know better. Paul couldn't help it.

"Hey," I said, stopping in front of him. "What's wrong?"

"Paul didn't waste any time sitting beside you after I left."

Oh, so this wasn't about Rachel. It was about me. Stupid territorial wolf.

"I asked him to sit with us," I said.

"And he jumped at the chance," Jacob seethed.

"Yes, because ours is a forbidden love," I said sarcastically and Jacob growled. At _me_. He'd never growled at me before. I immediately felt bad for teasing. "I was joking."

I wrapped my arms around his waist, but he didn't return the gesture. And really, if we hadn't just come from Billy's funeral and if Paul hadn't told me about the Bella situation, I probably would've just left him alone and waited for him to get over whatever it was that he thought was going on between me and Paul.

"I mean it, Jacob. I wouldn't do that to you. There's nothing going on between me and Paul. I'm _your_ imprint, and I belong with you."

His breathing hitched and now he did wrap his arms around me. It was another bear-hug, but I didn't mind. It was just a part of what made him Jacob.

"I won't ever do what Bella did to you," I said. "I promise. I won't make you feel second best. You're totally and completely my number one."

There. I couldn't get any clearer than that, right? If he didn't get it now…there was just no hope for him.

I looked up at him and saw his eyes glistening. Had I done that? Just from saying those few words? I guessed the stress from everything was finally getting to him.

I smiled softly. "You're really a sensitive guy, aren't you?" I was teasing, but in a fond way. He still blushed, though. "Hey, I like it." I tightened my hold on him. "Don't ever change who you are."

"But what about Paul? He was…happy on that boat with you."

I shook my head. He was still stuck on that. "That wasn't about me."

"Well, he seemed awfully snuggly with you," Jacob bristled.

"No, he…" Snuggly? "He barely _touched_ me. Now let me explain." I raised up on my tiptoes, but I still couldn't reach his ear so I pulled his head down to mine. I didn't know why I was being secretive. Once Jacob or Paul phased, everyone else in wolf form would know too, what with their wolf-pack mind connection thing. "Paul imprinted on Rachel," I whispered, and backed away. "So he was happy to be close to _her_, and he likes me, but he doesn't _like_ me."

"Oh." Jacob looked embarrassed. "Now I feel stupid."

"Not stupid," I corrected. "Just possessive."

"I'm sorry," he said grimacing. "I don't wanna be _that_ guy, it's just -"

"Don't worry about it," I interrupted. "If the situation had been reversed I probably would've been jealous, too." I kissed his Adam's apple once. "Now, what did Sam say?'

"We're meeting tonight," Jacob said. "After Rachel and Rebecca go to sleep."

"Oh, okay. And did you ask him about…you know, the whole biting thing?"

"I did. He said it was a wolf thing. That the wolf in me didn't like that someone else had marked you. But now that _I've_ done it, the wolf should be okay."

"Oh, so…last night was sort of just a claiming thing?" I knew it had to have been something dealing with his inner wolf, because human-Jacob wouldn't have bitten me that hard. "And it won't happen again?"

"It shouldn't." Then he corrected himself. "It won't. I won't let myself."

I hoped he was right because I didn't know if I could take him biting me every time we got a little carried away.

Once was enough for me.

* * *

Okay, so...what do you guys think? This chapter was just full of different moods. And I personally don't like possessive guys, but I think Jacob would be just because of the whole wolf thing inside. So yeah...anyway, hope you enjoyed.


	11. Chapter 11

Okay, this pretty much picks up right where the last chapter left off. It's right after the funeral.

Chapter Eleven

Once we reached our house again Jacob decided he wanted to take off, so we got ready to leave. Rachel and Rebecca were busy in the kitchen - well, Rachel was; I learned that even though Rebecca was married, she didn't really know her way around a kitchen at all.

I felt bad for leaving Rachel with kitchen duty, especially since she didn't know about the wolves appetites, so I resolved to cool everything the next day. All Rachel had been doing since she'd gotten here was work, work, work. Jacob needed me today, and he came first, but I'd help Rachel tomorrow.

As we made our way towards the edge of the forest Jacob began unbuttoning his shirt and unzipping his jeans. He went a little ways in and I turned away to give him some privacy. That was more for my benefit than his; I was still getting used to seeing him half-naked, so I was pretty sure I wasn't ready to see him fully naked.

Just as I was beginning to turn back around I saw Seth come outside. It looked like he'd just been going to sit there on the ramp on the porch, but then he saw me and he came over.

"Hey, can I come with you guys?" he asked.

Seth…sweet, innocent, lovable Seth. He looked torn apart. He'd been crying, I could tell. It made me want to wrap my arms around him and never let go until he felt better.

"I can't be around Mom and Leah right now. Mom is crying - Leah's crying, which is even worse."

His voice was shaky and vulnerable and it just made me want to comfort him even more. I loved Seth; Jacob loved Seth. Of course he could come with us.

"You can come. Just go phase."

Seth took off into the woods after Jacob and after about thirty seconds I heard a quiet _yip_, which I assumed meant they had phased, so I went further into the woods.

When I reached the russet and the sandy colored wolves I took in their appearance. I had never noticed before, but Jacob was bigger than Seth, which I guessed made sense because Jacob was bigger in his human form, and he'd phased before Seth had even known the legends were true.

Jacob nodded his massive wolf-head in the direction he wanted to go and then waited for me to grab hold of his fur before he began walking. I grabbed Seth with my other hand.

We began walking and I just went where I was led. It didn't bother me as much as it normally would have, being in the woods. It was probably due to the fact that I had two huge wolves on either side of me. Nothing would bother me with these two with me.

Eventually I was led to a place where the trees weren't as thick yet still thick enough to keep the ground from being soaked. The three of us sat there. I curled up against Jacob's side, and Seth laid next to me and rested his head on my lap.

I wove my fingers through Seth's fur and he let out what almost sounded like a purr. I smiled at that thought, and scratched the spot between his ears. It wasn't long before Seth was asleep, his head still on my lap.

It was nice and cozy caught between two of my favorite people - well, wolves now - and the heat was making me a little tired. I was already cuddled up to Jacob's massive side, so I made myself comfortable and began to drift off myself.

* * *

_I was back in the stony room, the one from before, only this time I wasn't tied up - or chained up. That meant that whoever had me was pretty sure I couldn't get out. Or more likely, there was a reason I wouldn't leave._

_As I looked around I noticed that the room was nicely furnished. I _wasn't_ in the same room as before. I was somewhere else. But I had the same trapped feeling, like a caged animal itching to run. Something was _wrong_. I could feel it. Something was missing, I just didn't know what._

_Where was I anyway?_

_The room was made of stone just like I'd thought, but it was also different. It seemed like a room, like it was supposed to be this way. It wasn't a dungeon type room; it was actually pretty in a Rapunzel-in-a-tower sort of way. The furniture - big bed, sofa, chair, and coffee table - were red and fluffy. It fit the room._

_In the distance, outside the room, I heard a scream. It was a masculine yell and it sounded like someone was in pain. Pain so bad they wished they would die so the pain would stop. And, oh God, that voice sounded familiar. It sounded like Seth. What was happening to him? I needed to get to him, needed to help him. But how could I get out of this room when I couldn't even find the door?_

_But…Seth…something was happening to him, something bad. I needed to -_

Something nudged me in my stomach and made a small whining sound and I slowly woke up. But it wasn't until I felt something wet touch my face that I opened my eyes.

Jacob, who was still in wolf form had licked my cheek…trying to wake me up? But still…ew. I wiped at my face with my hand and looked around. Jacob was standing over me, his head close to my face. He was the one whining, probably because I'd been having a nightmare. Had I been making noises?

I sat up and saw that Seth had been the one nudging my stomach. Both wolves had been trying to wake me up.

"Okay, okay, I'm up," I said. "Don't lick me again."

I wasn't mad; I wasn't even all that disgusted. I mean, yes, Jacob had licked me, which was gross, but I didn't even want a regular dog licking me in the face, let alone a massive wolf that was really my boyfriend…or whatever he was…in animal form. Licking my hand would've been fine…maybe.

God, my life was weird. Normal people didn't think things like that.

Jacob whined again and rubbed the side of his head against my cheek. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hid my face in the fur on his chest.

"I'm okay," I said. "Bad dream. I'll tell you about it later."

Seth nudged me with his head again and I looked at him. His eyes looked scared, but it was more of a human fear than an animalistic one. He was also confused, which just added to the fear. I wasn't surprised by his feelings; as far as I knew, no one besides Jacob knew about my dreams.

"I'm okay," I reassured the younger wolf. "My brain just tries to tell me stuff through nightmares. I'm sorry if I scared you." I glanced at Jacob. "Both of you."

I stood up and realized my clothes were damp from sweat. Being snuggled between two overheated wolves seemed to have been a little much. But I wouldn't have changed it for the world.

* * *

As we were walking back towards Jacob's house, Seth and Jacob still in wolf form, I began to feel a twinge in my stomach. It didn't hurt, exactly, but it was uncomfortable. It was in my lower abdomen and it went down to between my thighs…to my woman parts. It made walking a little difficult.

It was what I imagined menstrual cramps felt like; I'd never had cramps before, so I didn't know. It was enough to make me have to slouch over and grab at my midsection. It was enough to make me stop in mid-stride and almost fall to my knees. I would have if Jacob hadn't been there. My uncomfortableness was fast becoming pain and I didn't understand what was going on. The suddenness of it was, well…sudden.

He made an annoyed sort of whining sound that probably translated to _what now?_ and I shook my head, not knowing how to answer.

"Something's wrong. It hurts inside."

He made another whining sound, this one less annoyed and more concerned and he leaned down to see if I wanted to ride on his back instead of walking.

"I don't think I can," I said. "I think it would hurt."

And there went that whiny sound again, and then he was nudging me gently to Seth's side. He sped away behind a tree and he was gone for maybe ten seconds before he was coming back, this time in human form. He was just fastening the zipper of his jeans.

"Come here," Jacob said, reaching me.

He easily swept me up into his arms and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Even that hurt. Moving my arms moved my mid-section, which made me wince. Jacob caught it.

"Is this making it worse?"

"No. It just hurts to move. I don't know why. This has never happened before."

This was okay, though. I was curled up, which relieved some of the pain, and Jacob's heat helped too; he was basically cradling me, one hand on my back, the other beneath my knees. With my legs pressed together the pain lessened, too. I didn't understand why, but I was glad for the reprieve.

When we reached the edge of the woods Seth phased back and looked at me worriedly, and then at Jacob sympathetically. He knew that Jacob watching me be in pain was probably torture, especially since Jacob didn't know how to make it go away. _I_ knew it was probably torture and I was sorry for causing it. Jacob had suffered more than enough for one lifetime. He didn't need me adding to it.

"We're gonna get Sue to look at you, okay?" Jacob said. "She's a nurse, so maybe she'll know what to do."

I nodded. I'd do anything if it meant the pain would go away. It seemed to be intensifying, only held at bay because of Jacob's body heat. But I could feel the cramps throughout the whole middle part of my body; it had even gone around to my back now.

Luckily, Sue Clearwater, Seth's mom, was still here. Almost the whole pack was here. Jared wasn't - he was probably with Kim - and Brady and Collin weren't here - they were the youngest so they'd probably gone straight home - but the rest were here.

Quil, Embry, Sam, Paul - of course, he'd probably be around a lot now - and Leah were all here. Emily was here also; I saw her in the kitchen on the way to Jacob's room.

"Mom!" I heard Seth shout as we passed through the house. "We need you. Bad!"

When we got to Jacob's room he placed me gently on the bed and I immediately curled up into the fetal position, instantly missing the heat of Jacob's body.

"Don't go," I said. "Your warmth makes it better."

"I'm not going anywhere. I was just getting you situated."

He got in behind me and slid as close to me as possible. My back was flush against his chest. I grabbed his arm and slid it over my lower abdomen. I kept my arm over his.

"What happened?" Sue's voice sounded as she came in the room.

"I don't know." Jacob's voice was almost frantic and it made me feel bad because I knew it was because of me. "She just started hurting for no reason."

"Has she been fighting recently?"

"No, she was sleeping. She had a nightmare. Seth and I woke her up and we began walking back here. About halfway was when _this_ started. She said it hurts inside."

"Inside?" She looked at me with kind, sympathetic eyes. "Where?"

"Here." I clutched at where Jacob's arm was. "All the way around, even in my back."

Jacob moved even closer to me, which I hadn't known was possible, and held me a little tighter to him, as if he wished he could ease the pain a little.

"Anywhere else?" Sue asked.

I began to fidget, but found it painful so I stopped. I was uncomfortable because, yes, it did hurt somewhere else; I just didn't feel right saying it in front of Jacob.

"Crystal?" Sue questioned softly, taking in my expression. "Does it hurt somewhere else?

"Yes," I muttered, burying my head in the pillow.

"Where?"

"Um…" Even though I was in pain I still registered the fact that I was blushing. "Between my legs. You know…_there_."

I heard Jacob clear his throat as if he were uncomfortable with the sudden turn this conversation had taken. It made me blush even more.

Sue began caressing my face, moving my hair out of the way in the process. That was when I realized my hair was loose; Rachel's clip was no longer holding it up.

"I lost Rachel's clip," I said. It was a stupid thing to say, giving the fact I was in pain, but I said it nonetheless.

"I've got it," Jacob said. "I took it out before I laid you down."

"Oh. Okay." At least I hadn't lost it.

"What does the pain feel like?" Sue asked, getting back to business. "Sharp, dull?"

"U-um…"

"If you're not comfortable talking about it with Jacob here, he can leave for a minute."

"No, he can't," I said. "The heat makes it better."

"Okay," Sue said, taking that in. "But you're going to have to tell me what's wrong or I won't be able to help you."

"Well…my stomach, it's, like, sharp. Like someone stabbed me. My backs the same only not as bad. And the other…my…between my legs…it's like, throbbing. Like something's pushing inside."

Sue seemed to be making a mental list of everything I was telling her and she glanced at Jacob before looking back at me.

"Crystal, when's the last time you had a period?"

There I was, blushing again.

"Oh, um…" I was saying _um_ a lot. "I don't know. Before I came here…so the beginning of June, maybe?"

I had never really kept track of _that_. I'd never really seen the point, but I now realized I'd missed my period last month, and I probably should've started by now this month.

"Okay. Now, don't take offense, but have you and Jacob…is there a chance you could be pregnant?"

"No," both Jacob and I answered.

"We haven't…" Poor Jacob. I didn't have to look to know he was probably blushing as badly as I was. "We're not…our relationship isn't like that."

"Oh, well, that's good." Sue seemed proud that we weren't…doing that. But come on, we'd been together barely a month. What, did she think we were going to boink like bunnies? "It's good you're taking things slow."

"Mm-hm," Jacob agreed. "Can you help her?"

"Well…maybe. Maybe it's because you're skipping periods, or maybe it's something else. I just…I don't have any equipment here to be sure."

"Well, Carlisle does," Jacob said. "I can take her to -"

"No," Sue said. "We shouldn't move her in case there's something really wrong."

"She's right, Jacob. I don't feel like moving. Get him to come here."

"I can call him," another voice said from the doorway. I knew automatically that it was Paul. I'd talked to him enough today to know his voice by heart.

"You hate the Cullens'," Jacob said, sounding confused. "Why would you call them?"

"For Crystal," he said. "She's one of ours now, and we protect what's ours. Besides, she's in pain. If Dr. Fang can help her then that's who we'll call."

Sue smiled softly. "Well put, Paul. Go make the call."

* * *

Carlisle got there as quickly as he could; since he was a vampire…it was pretty quickly. He set up some monitor thing by the bed and told Jacob he'd have to let go for a second. He had to do some kind of medical thing.

He checked my pulse, which was strong but fast, and then he checked my blood pressure, which was high - maybe. I wasn't sure what was normal for me. And then my body temperature was 103, but that was probably due to Jacob's closeness. Carlisle made a comment about making sure I stayed hydrated.

"I'll get her some water," Sue said, leaving the bedside.

"Jacob, can you give us a minute?" Carlisle asked.

Jacob looked at me - clearly this was my decision.

"It's okay," I said. I didn't really want him to go, but if things were going to get even more medicine-y then I didn't want Jacob seeing.

Jacob untangled himself from me slowly and got off the bed, moving as gracefully as possible so as not to jostle me too much.

"I'll be right outside, okay?" Jacob leaned over and kissed my forehead. "Just…holler if you need me."

"'Kay."

As soon as Jacob stepped out of the room Carlisle turned to me. He had sympathy in his eyes. Apparently he didn't like seeing people in pain - obviously, because he was a vampire who wanted to help people, not harm them.

"I'm just going to press a little, and I want you to tell me if it hurts, okay?"

I nodded and he began pressing on my lower abdomen - I had to keep from flinching from the cold - and it didn't hurt too badly until he pressed near my pelvic bone.

"Ow," I hissed, tensing slightly.

"Crys?" That was Jacob. He must have heard my 'ow', and he'd decided to stick his head back in.

I smiled even through the pain at how fast Jacob had responded to my distress.

"I'm okay. He told me to tell him if it hurt, and…it hurt."

"Well, _why_ does it hurt?" Jacob asked Carlisle. "What's wrong with her?"

"Jacob, he's been checking me for less than five minutes," I said patiently. "Go back outside."

He listened, but he didn't look like he liked it at all.

"I was wondering," Carlisle began again, "if you would let me do a pelvic exam."

"Um…aren't you already doing that?"

"Inside, Crystal."

"Oh." I flushed, embarrassed. God, why me? Why -

"Oh, hell no." Jacob again. Damn his wolf hearing.

I could feel my face heating up even further. Couldn't he find something better to do than listen in on our conversation? It wasn't like I was planning on keeping anything from him, but to have him hear it firsthand…embarrassing.

"It's the only way I can be sure of what's wrong, Jacob," Carlisle explained patiently.

There seemed to be an internal war going on in Jacob's head. On the one hand I was in pain and Carlisle was a doctor who could probably help if he just knew what was wrong. Doing the exam would help him figure it out. But then on the other hand, Carlisle was a vampire, and I was Jacob's imprint, which meant Jacob wouldn't want a vampire doing anything inside me, even if it was for medical purposes.

Eventually, my wellbeing won out because Jacob nodded. "Fine." He crossed his arms over his chest. "But I'm not leaving the room."

I sighed. Stupid wolf.

"Uh, yeah, you are," I said. "You can't be here for that."

"Well, if I stand outside I'm just going to worry until it's over, and I'll probably come running in in the middle, anyway."

That would be…humiliating is probably the word I was looking for. And, okay, Jacob wasn't being a stupid, territorial wolf; he was being a concerned, protective boyfriend. It was sweet, but it was still embarrassing to think of him being in here when Carlisle was planning on doing _that_. But, what the hell? If it made Jacob feel better, then…whatever.

"Fine, but don't you dare look."

"I wasn't gonna look," Jacob said and I knew he meant it. I hadn't actually thought he'd be interested in that now, anyway, but I was just being clear.

"Great. Now that that's settled…" Carlisle pulled the top sheet from underneath the end of the mattress. "I need you to scoot to the edge of the bed so you're slightly hanging off."

He wanted me to move? Willingly? Slave driver. However, after complaining in my head, I did as he asked without fussing on the outside.

Carlisle pulled a pair of those gloves doctors use out of a box in the bag he was carrying with him and slipped them on. He also pulled out a tube of something and then he was pulling off my panties, which made me blush a color that was worthy of a tomato, I was sure.

"Sorry, I just didn't think you'd be able to do it."

"No, uh, it's okay…just, a little warning next time."

He didn't bother removing the skirt since that wouldn't be in the way. That's when I heard him open the lid to whatever he'd gotten from his bag.

"When Paul called and told me what was happening I had a feeling I'd have to do this so I already have everything I need." Carlisle situated me so that both of my feet were flat on the bed so that my legs were spread wide enough so he could…do whatever he needed to do. And the sheet was over me so Jacob couldn't see anything. It wouldn't have mattered, anyway, because when I looked at Jacob, he was fixated on my face, looking for signs of discomfort, maybe. Whatever the reason, his eyes never strayed from my face.

"You might feel a slight pressure, and it might be uncomfortable, but it won't take long."

"Mm-hm," I said breathlessly…and I mean _breathlessly_ because I realized I had been holding my breath. Seriously, I even became dizzy from lack of oxygen.

_Come on, Crys, you're eighteen years old. Suck it up already so you can get it over with_.

I let out a deep breath and tried to stay relaxed. It worked until a slick glove-covered finger entered _there_ and I flinched because I could feel how cold his hand was.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked, taking in my expression.

"Yeah. Um…feels weird." I wasn't going to complain out loud about Dr. Cullen's coldness; it wasn't his fault.

When Carlisle added a second digit and started pressing I felt the pressure he had warned me about, only it was more than uncomfortable. It actually brought tears to my eyes.

"Okay, hurting now." To which Jacob growled.

Carlisle eased back and the pain stopped, thank goodness, and then his fingers were gone, period.

"Well, I was going to suggest a pregnancy test. One of the first signs of pregnancy is cramps along with missed periods. But I can tell that's not necessary; your hymen is still intact."

Jeeze, shout it out to the whole world, why don't you? Every wolf person in this house would now know I was a virgin. Not that I was ashamed of it, but I didn't, ya know, want it broadcasted on the six o'clock news or anything. Not to mention: Hello, werewolf boyfriend in the room. And we hadn't had that discussion yet…and I guess now we didn't have to. It didn't stop me from blushing, though.

"Also, I can tell you should be ovulating, but you're not. Obviously, or you wouldn't be skipping periods. My guess is they stopped after you turned eighteen?" He waited for my confirmation nod. "You're body is getting used to the change of…not changing. Your body is used to having a period each month and now that you're not - may not be able to - it's working overtime to try and that's the pain you're feeling."

"Will this happen every month?" I asked, dreading a yes answer. "The pain, I mean?"

"I can't answer that for sure. I want to say _no_ but I really don't know that for sure. I've never had a patient like you."

"So, we'll have to play it by ear?" Jacob asked.

"Yes." Carlisle sighed. "I'm not sure medicine will help you, but I'm going to write a prescription for pain medicine and muscle relaxants. A sleeping pill, too. Sleep will help more than anything else. You might want to eat something first. Pain medicine can make you nauseous if you take it on an empty stomach."

I nodded. "'Kay." I grimaced. "Can I have my underwear back now?"

Carlisle smiled kindly. "Of course. Do you need me to -"

"No. No," I interrupted hastily. "I can do it."

And I did, even though it was somewhat awkwardly, under the covers, and by moving around, I realized my lady bits felt squishy. The lubrication that had been on Carlisle's fingers was what I was feeling. Ew.

After Carlisle wrote the prescriptions out, Sue came in holding a glass of water and then a bowl of soup. One of the wolves must have said something about the food thing. She had one of those tray things that you use so you can eat in bed.

"Thank you," I said.

"Is the reservation pharmacy still open?" Carlisle asked. "Or should I send them to the hospital?"

"I'll take care of them," Sue said, so Carlisle handed them to her. "I'll be back. Thirty minutes tops."

I nodded. "'Kay."

"Jacob, before I leave," Carlisle started, gathering his things, "I'd like to have a word with you."

"Sure, sure." Jacob looked at me. "You okay?"

"Uh-huh. Just hurry back."

* * *

When Jacob and Carlisle left the room I focused on calming myself down. My pulse was racing about a mile a minute and my breathing was shallow.

_Jeeze, overreacting much? Chill out, Crys, you're gonna give yourself a heart attack_. Could I even have a heart attack? I wasn't exactly sure about that, and I wasn't too keen on finding out.

While Jacob was out, both Rachel and Paul came into the room, both looking worried. She was the first to ask if I was okay or if I wanted anything.

"Um, I'm good, and no I don't need anything." Except maybe my pain medicine, or Jacob's body heat. One or the other.

"So, um…that was Dr. Cullen, right?" Rachel asked, and I answered by nodding. "He seemed a bit…off, didn't he? I mean…the skin and the eyes were…I don't know. Maybe it's just me."

Oh, man, I was not up for a round of hiding-the-truth right now.

"Um…he was nice." I couldn't say there wasn't anything off about him, because there obviously was, only I couldn't say what it was; Rachel would probably run the other way.

I busied myself with eating and drinking - mostly drinking since my stomach didn't seem to want food today.

Rachel and Paul left when Jacob came back. Jacob, who was giving me a run for my money in the red-faced department. _What_ had he and Carlisle been talking about?

"Hey," I said softly, as he came to sit by me.

"Hey," he said back. He placed his hand over my lower abdomen and rubbed gently. I much preferred this over Carlisle's gentle pressing. _This_ was actually soothing. "Are you really okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"Not really. Not…until the end there, anyway." Jacob's touch began doing what I couldn't get done myself; he was relaxing me. "So, what did Carlisle want to talk to you about?"

Jacob grimaced slightly. "You virginity, oddly enough."

I groaned, embarrassed _again_, and blushed. Were they trying to set a world record on how many times a girl could blush in a day because I was sure I'd win _that_ award.

"Why is that the topic of the day?"

Jacob smiled affectionately at me. "You shouldn't be embarrassed about something like that. Being a virgin isn't something to be ashamed of. I'm one."

Somewhere in the back of my mind I'd always known that, because Jacob would've wanted a connection first, not just some random roll in the hay…or roll in the whatever you'd roll in here. That was totally off topic…what was I thinking?

Oh, yes, connection. He'd have wanted one, and according to Jacob, Bella had been the only other girl he'd loved - besides me - and Bella, poor dumb biatch that she was, had chosen the undead popsicle over Jacob, so _of_ _course_ he was a virgin.

Which brought me back to our current conversation. He thought I was ashamed of that? Or…well, maybe the way I'd reacted could justify that thought, but still…

"I'm not ashamed of it…I just didn't want everyone knowing. Ya know? I mean, you're okay, you're…special. My boyfriend. So you finding out is okay. You should know something like that. But" - I noticed the open grin on his face - "What?"

"I'm boyfriend-ly?

"Um…yeah?" I was now uncertain. Did he _want_ to be my boyfriend? "I mean, we kiss and sleep in the same bed, so…I'd say that's pretty much boyfriend/girlfriend material."

"So we're a couple?"

Hadn't we just covered this? "Uh-huh."

His smile widened, which I hadn't thought was possible, but it was beautiful and it took my breath away. And it was because of me, which was just…_awesome_.

"If you weren't hurting, I'd kiss you right now," he said, continuing to rub my stomach, which was actually helping ease the ache some. Or maybe it was all in my head.

"Well, you could still kiss me," I said. "Maybe it'd help."

"Oh, yes, because my lips are miracle pain relievers," he joked and I grinned. Obviously, just his presence was making me feel better. That was, until I remembered something.

"Is Seth okay? I think I freaked him out what with my dream, and now this."

"Yeah, he was kind of freaked out. But he'll be okay. He was just worried about you. And about the dream…what was it this time?"

"Seth was in trouble."

I went on to explain all of my dream in vivid detail and how, if the Volturi got hold of Seth, it would be my fault and we couldn't let that happen because Seth was good person and he didn't deserve to be tortured - and from the sounds he'd been making in my dream, that's exactly what was going to happen to him.

* * *

Okay, so...what do you think? I feel bad for Crys. Seriously, after I wrote this chapter I had the worst case of the cramps ever and I was like...maybe I'm becoming empathetic with my characters? LOL. Anyway, hope you enjoyed.


	12. Chapter 12

Okay, so...as always...I don't own anything you recognize from the actual book. I don't own the theory behind the Buffy mythology either

Also...I don't know if I need to do a warning or not because this is rated M, but there's a naughty scene in this one. (Whatever, they don't even remove their clothes LOL)

Chapter Twelve

By the time Sue got back with the medicine I was curled up again with Jacob, who was still rubbing soft circles over my stomach. I'd taken a pain reliever when I'd first gotten them, but it'd only been in my system for about fifteen minutes, so I wasn't sure it was going to work.

Sue had pretty much shooed everyone out of the house, so the only people left were me, Jacob, Rachel, and Rebecca.

Jacob and I were situated like we'd been before, my back to his chest. He stopped caressing my abdomen long enough to move the hair from my neck, and then I felt as he placed his lips against my skin, and he went back to rubbing. His lips were soft and barely there, but they still felt good.

"I'm sorry you're hurting," he said softly, his breath against my skin making me shiver.

"Not your fault," I said, grabbing hold of his hand and pressing it harder against me. "Thanks for staying with me."

His lips pressed against my neck again. "Where else was I supposed to go? You needed me and I'm glad I could help at least a little."

"You helped a lot," I corrected. "If I had been by myself when the pain had started I never would've gotten back here on my own. I'd have still been out in the woods."

"We would've found you," Jacob said. And then in a mock-angry voice, "And thank you very much for putting _that_ image in my head."

"Sorry," I said, laughing softly. "Really sorry. I usually say whatever pops in my head. It's a flaw." Well, I usually said it unless it was mean or hurtful, anyway.

"Mm, well, we all have them," Jacob said. "And saying what's on your mind isn't a flaw."

"It is if I put scary images in my boyfriend's head," I replied stubbornly.

"Yeah, well, your boyfriend" - I could hear the smile in his voice at the word - "can handle the images. Don't worry about him."

"Easier said than done."

So much had happened in the last four days _alone_ that made me worry about him. Billy's death, finding out why the Volturi might want me, the Seth dream, and now _this_. The pain I was in. The silver lining was he wasn't focusing on the _really_ bad thing that was Billy's death.

"So, um…what about the meeting tonight?" I asked. "I still have to go and explain stuff."

"I think that can wait," Jacob said. "You just focus on getting better first, okay?"

I shook my head before he was even done. "I don't think it can wait. First the vampire that attacked _me_ and then the one who attacked Billy…It's like I said before, they're _not_ gonna stop. They'll just keep coming. You and the rest of the pack have to be ready."

* * *

I slept for a few hours and when I woke I felt that Jacob was still there. His warm breath was hitting the back of my neck, and my hair moved every time he exhaled. He was asleep, too, if his even breathing was anything to go by.

His arm was around my waist and my bottom half was close to his. He'd hugged me to his frame and we were so close now, I was sure I must be burning up. But I didn't care because being here with him, in his arms, was the most amazing thing I'd ever felt. I was safe and secure and loved. He never even had to say it, I just knew. The way he looked at me; the way he treated me; the way he was always there for me; the way that even when he was hurting, he made sure _I_ was okay.

I tried to turn over, but his hand flattened against my belly and pulled me ever closer - if that was at all possible. His fingers fisted against my shirt and I smiled widely. Even in sleep he clutched at me, he needed me.

I lifted his arm enough for me to flip onto my other side and then placed it back where he grabbed onto my shirt again. I settled against his other arm, but didn't close my eyes to sleep. I looked at him, took him in visually.

He was…beautiful. He looked almost angelic when he was sleeping. He was peaceful and his face showed childhood innocence that he hid during waking hours.

A little sigh of contentment left my mouth as I realized how comfortable I felt here. How at home I felt. I _belonged_ here, and yet there was a part of me that was sure I'd fallen asleep and was dreaming. That would be my luck, Jacob being a dream, him not being real. Because I'd never had anything this good.

I shook my head at that thought, mostly because it was too painful. Jacob being gone, this - _all of it_ - being a figment of my imagination…I couldn't even bare _thinking_ that.

Needing a distraction I traced the contours of his face with my eyes and let them roam freely. I had never seen anyone in such perfect physical condition. The soft play of muscles of his arms; the hard ripples of his abs. And it was a tribute to his face that I didn't only focus on his body.

Jacob began snoring and I giggled. He was, um, _loud_. How had I slept through that? I tried to get my laughter under control when Jacob stirred, but I couldn't.

I mean, I felt _good_. Yes, things were sort of going to hell in a hand basket, and I hated that it was at least partly my fault, but I was here. With Jacob. Jacob, who loved me, and I…liked him. Loved him?

Hell if I knew.

I wanted to be with him, and the thought of being without him was devastating. I was willing to do anything for him…so, yeah, maybe it was love. And there was definitely _want_. Just thinking of him was enough to make my blood boil.

A placed a soft kiss on his shoulder and settled down. I slid a hand over the muscles in his stomach. His abs twitched even in sleep. Could he…feel what I was doing? I did it again, rubbing up and down his chest lightly and then…

Oh, yeah. He could feel it, if the hardness that was beginning to press against me was anything to go by. I bit my lip and tried not to smile. This was wrong - so wrong - teasing him while he was sleeping. But it was fun, too, seeing what reactions I could pull from an unsuspecting Jacob. Not to mention…I was eighteen with no experience whatsoever, so…I was a little curious. So sue me.

I caressed downward until my fingers ghosted over the ever-increasing bulge in Jacob's jeans. He let out a sound that was like a whimper and then he was pressing against my hand.

He stilled then, groaning, and grabbed my hand. "What're you doing?" His voice was rough from sleep and it sent a shiver down my spine. "Are you…trying to kill me?"

"No. I just…it surprised me that you could feel that when you were asleep." And oh, God…he'd caught me pretty much groping at him.

"Um…I think I would've felt that if I was in a _coma_."

I blushed furiously and hid my face in his chest. "I'm…sorry if…I shouldn't have done that."

"Ya know…every time we do something like this…one of us ends up apologizing…" I could hear Jacob's smile and I knew he was trying to make me less embarrassed. "Why is that?"

"Um…because we're both scared of crossing a line?"

It was true enough; we were both afraid we'd do something wrong. I was scared I'd bring the wolf out, and he was scared that, if the wolf did come out, he'd hurt me.

I lifted my head off his chest and looked up at him. His eyes were heart-wrenchingly warm and soft. I felt his hand cup the back of my neck and he pulled me towards him. I went willingly, needless to say.

His lips met mine in a soft caress and I immediately opened to him. He kissed me until I was literally breathless - my fault, totally forgot how to breathe there for a second. God, I could feel the kiss everywhere, and it made my stomach feel funny, but in a good way. When I couldn't take it anymore I pulled away, panting.

He shifted a little and dropped his hand to my stomach. "Are you okay? Not…hurting, I mean."

"No, I'm…the cramps are gone." Hell, I could barely remember that I'd been hurting not too long ago with what he was doing to me.

"Good," he whispered before kissing me again.

We turned so he was hovering over me and he rested one hand on my hip and the other he used to keep himself from crushing me. He slid his fingers up my side, over my ribs, but stopped before he got to my breast. Jacob's never ending need to make sure that all this physical stuff was okay. I wondered where he'd gotten that from, because most guys wouldn't ever stop unless one screamed it in their ear.

I let out a sort of strangled moan because just thinking of him touching me made me want it more, and I grabbed his hand. I was thinking he stopped because I hadn't given him permission to go on, so I slowly slid my hand with his over my right breast. He was cupping it and it felt so _good_ as the warmth of his fingers seeped through my shirt and into my skin.

Jacob groaned into my mouth and pulled his lips away.

"Crys?" His voice was uncertain and his eyes matched. Bless him for always making sure I was okay.

I squeezed his hand and let mine fall away. "You can touch me, Jacob. It's okay."

He let out a shaky breath and I felt his fingers tremble. Now _I_ was uncertain. Did he not _want_ to touch me?

"I don't…you're gonna have to let me know what feels good to you. Okay?"

My heart sped up at the concept. Jacob had _never_ touched a girl like this. He'd never done anything like this before at all. He was going to learn with me, along with me. I was okay with that.

"I will. Just do whatever feels natural." He was part wolf, so…this should come naturally to him, right?

And, God, his hand was just there, not moving, and already my nipples had hardened. The one he _wasn't_ touching seemed to be living vicariously through the other one. When he moved the pad of his thumb over the tip, the muscles in my stomach tightened and I bit my lip.

"This okay?" he asked breathlessly.

"Uh-huh." My voice was no louder than a whisper because he did it again, and he started moving his thumb in small circles, sending electric shocks through me.

He kissed me again only hotter this time, more firmly. I clung onto him, my fingers going straight to the back of his head, gripping his hair tightly. I was suddenly very glad that his body was durable because if he'd been just a regular human…I probably would've pulled too hard and ripped the hair from his scalp.

He moved against me and I realized that I was still in a skirt and I could feel the roughness of his jeans against my thighs. I could feel him against me, his jeans and my underwear the only things in the way there.

God, how did we always end up in this position? And why was it always me that seemed to lose control so much? He always seemed so…in tune with himself…well, until I pushed to far and he bit me…but…

I lifted my hips against his and he pulled away slightly. Oh…that's how we always ended up in this position. The look Jacob gave me would've scared me had he been anyone else, it was so full of hunger and want. That look on anyone else would've told me to stop because they were getting ready to _take_ what they wanted, but Jacob would never do that, and, uh…he wouldn't have to force anything…I was so…and _he_ was so… Our bodies were ready, I'll put it that way.

Keeping my eyes on him, I rocked my center against his and nodded. It was okay for him to move too. Actually, I would appreciate it if he did.

His hand moved from my breast and he now braced himself on both arms, one on either side of me.

"Crys, I don't know if I can…"

"I won't push you for anything, Jacob. If…you think we need to stop then…we can stop."

I caressed his face, his back, his shoulders. I tried reassuring him with my touch that I would understand. And then suddenly he was touching me again, still tentatively, still…shyly. I found it endearing, the fact that he was letting his inexperience show.

Hell, I didn't know what I was doing either; I just knew that it felt good and I didn't want it to stop, and when I felt Jacob exploring my leg, the inside of my thigh to be exact, I bit my lip again to keep from moaning.

He moved his fingers aggravatingly slowly up and down, stopping near my panties and going back to my knee. He moved off of me and to the side, probably so he wouldn't be too tempted to do anything, but he kept touching me. On his next trip down, he ghosted his fingers over the center of my underwear.

I arched against his hand and his eyes found mine, anxiously looking to see if I was okay with this. I would have to teach him the body language thing. This was definitely a good arch, not a bad arch.

"Please don't stop," I whispered brokenly. "You can take them off if you want." Oh God, had I really just said that? And had I meant it? Hard to really think right now, with him touching me and my body just reacting on its own without my permission. My legs opened on their own. My body seemed to know what I needed right now, even if my brain hadn't caught up just yet.

"Um…I don't think my wolf could handle that right now." I noticed that Jacob had stopped breathing through his nose. He was, however, panting. "What d'you want here, Crys?"

I _wanted_ him to touch me or…_something_. When I voiced that, Jacob's breath hitched and his hand moved the barrier that was my underwear to the side.

"Tell me if I do something wrong, okay?" Two of his fingers slid between my folds and he groaned. "God, you're so…warm here," he said. "And wet."

He made sure his fingers were slick enough before he started stroking the little nub that made the heat in my stomach intensify. It was…_God_…there weren't words. And apparently Jacob wasn't completely ignorant when it came to the opposite sex because he knew where to touch me, if not exactly _how_.

I moved against his fingers and wished he would press harder, go faster. I would've told him, but I was finding it hard to breathe, let alone talk. There was an ache - sort of - between my legs now that only Jacob was able to put there and it just kept building. It had never been this strong before. Well, we'd never done anything like this before, so that made sense, I guessed.

I knew what I was working toward even if I'd never felt it before. But I knew it would be amazing…like, out-of-this-world amazing. But I kind of needed a little something more.

"Jacob, can you…go faster?" Ah, there was my elusive voice.

He did and I cried out. God, it was almost agonizing it felt so good. My stomach began to tighten and quiver. _It_ was about to happen. It had to; I couldn't feel much better without exploding.

I looked at Jacob, who seemed to think this was the most fascinating thing he'd ever done, which…um, not too far off for me. His eyes found mine and I saw he was breathing normally again. My eyes followed down his neck and his shoulder to his arm, and I watched as the muscles flexed as his fingers rotated against me.

"Jacob!"

I grabbed onto his other arm and I was sure my fingernails had dug into his skin, but he didn't say anything. He did press harder, though, and that was it. I arched off the bed and threw my head back. I clenched my jaw so I wouldn't scream. I felt my nether regions fluttering, going through multiple spasms of ecstasy.

"J-Jacob!" God, it was hard to say his name. It was hard to breathe or even think. The only thing that came easy was _feeling_.

My whole body had tightened and it was shaking from the intense white-hot pleasure that was working through my system. Jacob worked me through the waves and then when I went sort of…boneless…he removed his fingers and covered me with my underwear again.

"I, um…oh." Nice and incoherent, that's what I was now. I had never really believed that people could actually turn into a puddle of goo until now. The power of Jacob Black, I guessed. Because I was definitely feeling like jello now. And my IQ had drowned apparently because my brain didn't want to work.

I couldn't think straight, but I felt more relaxed then I had in a long time, maybe more than I had _ever_. It felt as if my bones had liquefied and I couldn't move, but it was a good feeling.

It took me a while to get my breathing under control and even then I was still feeling weightless, like I was floating in the air somewhere. Jacob had made me feel that way; I needed to help _him_ feel that way.

Jacob was glancing at me, curiously fascinated yet hungry at the same time. His white teeth was covering his bottom lip and he was breathing through his nose, taking my scent in.

"Jacob, you okay?" I asked, because I knew what _that_ particular smell did to him.

It took a moment for him to answer.

"I'm okay. It's…still hard, but easier than it was before."

"Oh." That was good, right. That meant that practice made perfect. "Jacob, can I…help you now?"

He breathed heavily still, but he laid down anyway, and pulled me close to him. Close as in…on top of him. Instantly, I was aware of every muscle beneath me. I was also aware of the hardened length of him between my leg, my legs which were straddling him.

I swallowed nervously and bit my lower lip. I didn't move, though, except to kiss him. I _had_ to. I kissed his mouth, his chin, his neck, his chest. His body was tightening beneath mine and I vaguely wondered if he was slowly losing control. Part of me didn't care, while the other part was scared of what might happen if he did.

My uncertainty must have shown through on my face because he placed both hands on my waist and squeezed slightly, reassuringly. Jacob was in control. I could go on now.

"You're gonna have to help me. I don't really know what to do."

What I did know, however, was that this felt very…nice…us being pressed together like this. I closed my eyes and began to move against him, rub against him.

He grunted and squeezed a little harder. And, wow, I could feel his arousal pressing against my bud of desire and I let out a little moan of my own. Jacob's hands fell to my hips and he pressed me more firmly against him. He led me up and down the full length of him; full and hard and huge.

I felt the pressure building inside again, but I couldn't _again_, right? Not after…it had happened already. I realized I was making little wanton sounds, but it didn't matter; I was way past caring what I sounded like.

At least I wasn't cursing; Jacob was cursing. Which I assumed was a good thing. He was also very beautiful now, in the throes of passion. His breathing was labored and I watched as his chest heaved in and out. A thin sheen of sweat covered his body and it glistened a little.

I began moving my body faster when his hips started moving with mine, then I heard him say my name lovingly and I exploded. I pressed against him as hard as I could, wanting to get closer, then he held me there pumping up against _me_. He growled a very human growl and arched up off the bed, lifting me up with him a little.

I pressed my lips to his because he was…very _responsive_ in a very loud way. His sisters were in the house and they didn't need to know what we were doing.

After about twenty seconds of peacefulness I began feeling wetness that wasn't mine touching my thighs and I pulled away slightly. Jacob's jeans were soaked from, um…yeah. Oops. Probably should've thought about that before now. But Jacob was a teenager, and teenage boys did that all the time, right?

A minute later, I found that Jacob was trembling, not in a phasing way, but the tremors were just as bad. Had I done something wrong; or had I done everything right?

"Hey," I said, stroking his face, "are you okay?"

He looked at me then and I saw he was looking at me with loving but worried eyes.

"You can't leave me now, you know that, right?" His voice wasn't harsh or demanding or even _commanding_; it was sad and broken.

What the hell had Bella done to him? What could she have done to make him think _I_ was going to leave him. That I would or even could? Especially after _that_.

I shook my head. "I won't ever leave you," I promised. I kissed him softly and then sat up slightly. "Jacob, I have to tell you something. I have to let you know because I don't think I've been clear enough."

I bit my lip hard, because I hated this, this sharing and caring stuff, coming from me anyway, but it was Jacob and so I had to.

"Before I came here…I'd just about given up. I was a different person…if you could've called me a person. I mean, I was barely alive. And now…" I stopped talking. "God, I'm not good at this…but…I'm glad I came here, Jacob, because you found _me_. When no one else was looking, you found me. And now…now I love you."

There, I'd said it. I felt better. Sorta.

"I'm in love with you."

Jacob's heart literally stopped beating for a second and then he was bringing me down to kiss him. It was soft and happy and brief, but it was still sweet.

"Say it again," he breathed against my lips. "Please."

"I'm in love with you," I said; it got easier every time.

"And again." Now he was just teasing.

"I'm in love with y-" I didn't get to finish because he kissed me again, this time more thoroughly.

When he broke away, he started talking instantly. "God, Crys, I love you too. I just didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want you to run away."

"Run away? From the best thing I've ever had? Please, I may be a little crazy, but I'm not stupid. I mean, come on, you, um…must've noticed what you do to me."

Jacob grinned. "Are you talking about just now? Because, yes, I noticed that." Then his grin fell and he placed his hands on my hips again. "Did I hurt you? I was squeezing pretty hard there at the end."

"You didn't hurt me." Hadn't even noticed he was squeezing that hard, actually. "You pretty much controlled your inner-wolf just" - Jacob grimaced - "fine. And what was that face for?"

"I feel very uncomfortable. Um…I'm messier than you are, Crys." Jacob's cheeks reddened a lot. "So, um, I need to change."

"Right…um, well, I can - I can leave the room for a second, if you want."

"Nah, you can stay. Rach and Becca are in bed, anyway. I won't take but a minute."

"Okay…" I began to move, but stopped when I found it hard to. My body seemed to not want to work properly and my thighs were sore. Just from that? Well, I guessed it was because I'd never done that before. I hadn't used those muscles in that way, and so they were sore. "Oh."

"What? What's wrong?" Poor protective Jacob.

"My legs are stiff from…" I moved myself off of him and stretched out on the bed. "I'm okay."

"Okay. I'll be right back."

He caressed my lips one last time with his before getting up to go change.

* * *

By the time Jacob got back, wearing a new pair of shorts, I was thinking we _should_ actually wait for another time to go have a stupid meeting about the stupid vampires that wanted me for some stupid reason.

I was a little resentful because _they_ were ruining my happiness, my blissfulness from just a few moments ago. I'd been floating on cloud nine and then _bam_, they filled my head and the blissfulness cleared away and I fell back down to Earth.

I wanted those thoughts to go away again, if just for that night. But I couldn't just keep pushing them away. The longer the pack stayed in the dark, the more danger they would be in. So…no matter whether or not I wanted to forget, I couldn't, and I needed to be responsible and do this. Get everything out in the open and let the chips fall where they may.

"Hey, what's with the tears?" Jacob asked, sitting beside me.

I'd been so lost in thought I hadn't even realized I'd been crying, so when I wiped at my cheeks I was surprised by the wetness.

"Crys, what's wrong?"

I shook my head. "I just…feel bad." But now that Jacob was beside me, nothing seemed as bad as just seconds before. "I'm…happy." _And bi-polar apparently_. Because now I _was_ happy. Even though everything was…sucky.

Jacob bit his lip and blinked a few times. "Those two sentences don't go together."

"No, I'm…I feel bad _because_ I'm happy."

"Um…that doesn't make sense either," he said softly.

I sniffled once and sat up. "Yes, it does. I…it doesn't make sense for me to be happy. Everything is going wrong, but…" I sighed. "Billy's gone, everyone's in danger, monster vampires are after me, but…I'm happy. Because I have you."

Jacob's eyes went from confused to understanding. He got it now.

"I know the feeling," he said gently, wiping the new tears away. "I think…I think Dad would've wanted it that way. He would've wanted us to be happy if we could."

"Yeah? Because I kind of feel like I'm being disrespectful. He just…I mean, the funeral was this morning and not even twelve hours later I'm trying to jump the bones of his son."

Jacob's cheeks flushed a little. "Well, I didn't mind the last part."

I literally bit my tongue at his admission. _He hadn't minded the last part_. Stupid guy. Or course he hadn't minded; what was there to mind? We'd made each other feel amazing, so…

When I saw him grinning I smacked him in the arm. Hard.

"Ow! Don't use your vampire strength on me."

I stuck my tongue out at him - way to be mature - and grinned myself. My bad mood vanished momentarily. Until everything crashed down on me again.

Right. The jumping of his bones.

"Did I take advantage of you?"

Jacob's face took on a comical _what the hell are you talking about_ look.

"What? No. Why would you think that?"

"Because you were hurting because of Billy and, I don't know, maybe that affected your decision a little and that's why we…ya know. Ya know?"

"Um…" Jacob seemed to be worried about my sanity, or at least the way my thought process…well…processed. "You realize we didn't actually have sex. Right? So… And anyway, _you_ were on pain medicine, so really, we're even in the taking advantage department. Which you didn't. And I didn't. We're both consenting adults. You get my point."

Yeah, I got it. We'd both wanted it for the same reasons and it didn't matter what the circumstances surrounding it were. It didn't matter _why_ it had happened, just that it had and that both of us had enjoyed it.

"Yeah. Yeah. I get it. It's just that…I promised myself I wouldn't do that to you since…Billy, and then we did."

"Crys…I wanted to. _You_ wanted to." He brought his hand to the back of my neck so I knew what he was going to do. "People who love each other do that."

His lips were so close to mine that I could feel his breath mixing with mine. I leaned in so our skin was touching and his tongue slid into my mouth.

Seeing as to how I was usually the one who, um…moved things forward, I tried to keep things light. Because if I didn't I knew we'd just end up the way we had before. Not that I was opposed to the idea.

"Mm…" Jacob broke away. "Did you want to change or wash off? I mean…I can still smell -"

"I'll change. And wash off."

What we'd done was nobody's business but ours and the rest of the pack didn't need to know about it. Or smell it.

* * *

Jacob had laughed harder than he had in a while when I asked him to smell me after I changed and washed off.

"You're fine. I mean, you smell like me, but you've been right beside me all day."

"It's not funny!" I said, blushing. "I don't…that…that particular scent is not something anyone but _you_ should smell." It was for him only.

The thought of someone else smelling _that_ seemed to sober Jacob up quickly enough. "Well, when you put it that way it makes sense."

"Of course it makes sense. I'm the one who said it," I said smartly.

"What're you talkin' about? You never make sense," Jacob replied, grinning.

"No, I _always_ make sense. I'm sensible."

We were outside now, just off the porch-ramp and Jacob looked back at me playfully Huh…I guessed it was true and orgasms _did_ make men happy. Not that _I_ was in too bad a mood my own self.

"Senseless," he said, countering what I'd said.

"No, no, no. You're the male, so _you're_ senseless."

"I make plenty of sense," Jacob said, taking on a kicked puppy look. He was just pretending, though, so I ignored it.

"Anyway…I'll race you," I said, taking off before I'd even finished talking.

Jacob wasn't as fast in human form as he was in wolf form, but he was still fast enough to keep up with me without breaking a sweat.

When we got to the beach, which was where everyone was meeting up at, Jacob caught me around my middle and pulled me gently but firmly towards his chest. I didn't mind; I happened to be very comfortable with his arms wrapped around me, so…no complaining here.

I saw that pretty much everyone was here already. Sam and Emily were sitting together near a roaring fire. Quil, Embry, Seth, and Leah were together. Paul, Jared, and Kim were together. Brad and Collin weren't here, but they were both younger so that was probably why. Quil Sr. and Sue Clearwater were also here, in the thick of it all.

Even though I knew I was safe here, I became alert. My playfulness from seconds before was gone; I was serious now. It wasn't hard to tune into every movement on the beach. For one, our group was the only one here, but two…years of training had taught me to never let down my guard.

It could be the difference between staying alive and being the other, less pleasant option: Dead.

I wished we could at least pretend we were normal. Normal group of friends hanging out for normal reasons. But we couldn't, so I decided to go ahead and get started.

"Okay, so…I'm assuming everyone that's gonna come is already here," I said. "Are Brad and Collin okay?"

"Yeah. Parental interference," Sam explained. "We'll fill them in later."

"Good. So…can I lead here?" I asked, not wanting to encroach on Sam's territory. Didn't want a pissed off Alpha on my hands.

"You've got the floor."

Everyone was sitting down except for me and Jacob so all eyes were on us. Not uncomfortable at all.

"A'right, well… You all know that the Volturi are after me, and that they're vampires. But…there're things that you don't know. They're the ones that killed my parents. I don't know how they knew that I was different, but they knew and they came for me. My parents were just caught in the crossfire. The one they sent for me didn't live very long after I figured out what he was."

The guys seemed to be taking all this in and I couldn't really tell what they were thinking, but they all seemed calm at least.

"They had me until I came here. They trained me, different ones. They called themselves Guardians, when really they were just there to make sure I didn't get out of line. They did train me well enough to keep me alive, though, I will give them _that_."

Now for the hard part.

"I think they're responsible for Billy's death. I don't know how they got on your land without you guys knowing about it, but…whoever it was left a letter. Short little note, actually. They said Billy's death was just the beginning. They're not gonna stop coming after me, which means as long as I'm _here_ you guys are in danger. That's why I'm…I just…I wanted you guys to know so that you can decide what you want to do. Each of you, individually."

I took a deep breath because the air around me suddenly felt tight. But I had to keep talking.

"These vampires…they're not normal vampires, if there is such a thing. They all have abilities, some physical, others mental. And…I want all of you to know exactly what you'll be getting into if you decide to protect me."

Paul then decided to stand up. "I told you already. We're all in. It doesn't matter what you have to say, it won't change our minds. You became one of ours the second Jacob imprinted on you."

I smiled softly as Paul walked over to me and Jacob. Seth was the second to follow and then Leah; I was pretty sure that had more to do with Seth than me, though. Quil and Embry stood, and then Sam and Jared. Emily and Kim came along with Quil Sr. and Sue Clearwater.

I bit my lip as pressure began building in my throat. Everyone was willing to risk so much just to keep me safe. I had known they'd accepted me as family, but to have them all express it like this…it was a little overwhelming. They had a claim on me now. I belonged here with them now. This was my _home_ now.

I had a home now.

* * *

Okay, so...I've written naughty scenes before, but I'm still self-conscious when it comes to writing them. So...how'd I do. What can I change, or should I not do anything different? I didn't want to be crude so...yeah. Review please. And thank you. :)


	13. Chapter 13

Okay, so I know I have a habit of doing this, but...this chapter takes up where the last one left off.

As always...I don't own anything you recognize from the books.

And just wanted you guys to know that to all the people who have favorited or alerted or reviewed - or anything related to that - that I appreciate it. Granted, would love - LOVE - more reviews because a writer likes to know that she's appreciated or if she needs to change things or...whatever. Point is, to all the people who are reading, I appreciate it.

Chapter Thirteen

After all the group hugging was over I still decided I should let the pack know about the different vampires that might be after me, since they all had different abilities. I had no clue which vampire would come after me, so it would be best for them just to know everything.

"There are three main ones you need to worry about. Jane, Felix, and Alec. Jane…" I sighed. "Okay, all I know I learned from Michael, so…but according to him Jane is sadistic. She can torture you with her mind. Alec is the exact opposite; he can make you feel nothing at all. You can't function at all. It's like he takes away your ability to. Then there's Felix and he's, like, the ultimate fighter for the vampires."

"Can Michael be trusted?" Sam asked.

Surprisingly I hesitated. "I don't know. I mean…I care about him, but he used to work for the Volturi. I don't think he'd do anything to hurt me, though."

"We may have more than Michael to worry about," Jacob said and I looked at him. His eyes were guarded.

"What d'you mean?"

"At Michael's the other day I smelled more than one vampire. It was really…thick in the air like there was more than one that lives there or they visit often."

"You didn't tell me that," I said softly, kind of hurt. "Why didn't you tell me that?"

He grimaced guiltily. "That's not the only thing I didn't tell you."

What? He thought he had to keep secrets now?

"Well, what else aren't you telling me?" I asked, and I couldn't keep the accusation out of my voice.

"I don't know what he's up to, but you can't trust him." He sighed and looked away. "There are other girls like you living there with him."

"How d'you know that?" I asked. "Did Michael tell you that?"

He shook his head. "Not at first. He admitted it when I asked him about it _after_ shoving me against the wall. Anyway, I smelt them as we were going upstairs. He said he took them there to protect them."

There were other girls like me with Michael. Why hadn't _Michael_ told me that? Why would he have kept that from me - he would've known that _I_ would've wanted to know. And how did Michael get them? How did he even know where they were? There were girls all over the country - hell, all over the _world_ - that were like me. Not as strong, but still…they had the potential to be like me.

"How many are there?" I asked. "Could you tell?"

"No. But the scent was really strong so I'm gonna say probably more than a few."

What did Michael want with them? What was he planning?

Without consciously deciding to do so I began walking back the way Jacob and I had come. I didn't even know where I was going, I just needed to move. I just needed to feel like I was in control of _something_ because what was happening _now_ - everything that was happening - was definitely out of my control. Because apparently Michael was up to something and he hadn't told me what, and then the Volturi were after me and I could control _that_ either.

"Where're you going, Crys?" Jacob had followed me, of course, but I didn't stop walking.

"I don't know. How could you not have told me that while we were there?" I asked. "I mean, we could've figured this out then."

"You'd just found out that you could end up as a whatever the hell it is you could turn into if those bloodsuckers get what they want. I didn't think you needed anymore bad news."

"You still should've told me," I snapped. And now, I did stop walking and I turned to look at him. "I'm not glass, Jacob, I won't break."

"I never thought you would," Jacob said. "I still thought you needed to process everything that you found out. I sure as hell did."

Okay, that was all true. I had needed time to go through everything I'd learned, but still…

"Okay…okay…what about after? That was, like, four days ago, Jacob. You could have told me any time between then and now. Why didn't you?"

Jacob let out a breath that made it sound like I'd punched him in the stomach. "Oh, I'm sorry." His voice was hard and sarcastic and directed at me. I didn't like it. "I'm sorry I couldn't focus on your leech problem when I was busy _burying my dad_!" His voice rose and I flinched. "Maybe you've forgotten already, but he's dead! So, yes, I'm sorry if that _parasite_ wasn't my top priority."

He'd been full on yelling at me and now I just felt like crying because: One - Jacob was yelling at me and I didn't want him to - and two - _Billy_. Of course Jacob couldn't have been too worried about Michael, not when he'd found Billy dead in the house. He probably hadn't given Michael a second thought.

"Jacob…" I said weakly. God, I was so stupid and selfish.

"_Don't_," Jacob seethed. "Whatever you're gonna say, don't. Go home, Crys."

Jacob was shaking he was so angry. I backed away. I knew if there was ever a time he'd lose control and phase with me so close it would be now because I'd hurt him.

"I don't - It's dark and I don't know the way."

Jacob had been with me when we'd raced to the beach and I'd followed his lead. I would undoubtedly get lost if I tried to find my way back on my own.

Jacob took a deep breath and calmed down considerably before grabbing my arm in a tight grip. Not tight enough to hurt, but still not as gentle as I was used to from him.

"Where're you taking me?" I asked and I hated it, but my voice shook with fear.

_Come on, Crys, this is Jacob. You're everything to him, he won't hurt you_, I told myself. But this _wasn't_ Jacob. Not my Jacob. Not the one I'd fallen in love with. This was a hardened version of the light-hearted one. I wanted _my_ Jacob back.

"Home," he said simply, and he began leading the way. "You think I'm gonna leave you out here to wander alone?"

He started walking faster and I just about tripped. I would've if he hadn't had a hold of me. It took me maybe ten seconds to start crying after that. Jacob had never been so careless with me and I didn't like this. At all.

"Let me go, Jacob. I'd rather wander around lost than have you dragging me around like a rag doll."

He immediately let go of my arm and I stumbled a few steps.

"Damn it! What's wrong with you?" I asked, standing straight and steady now.

He didn't even stop walking and he didn't answer me either. What the hell? _This_ Jacob was slowly pissing me off, and he was going to get it if he didn't straighten up. Or I was going to get it…he might try and eat me.

"You said to let you go, so I let you go," he eventually said.

"You almost let me fall." I hated it, but my voice was making me sound like a petulant child.

"Hm."

"Hm? That's all you can say is 'hm'?"

All I got was a very good view of his back walking away. I assumed he expected me to just follow him, but I didn't. I would not be treated this way and let him think it was okay.

"Jacob! Please, just…stop for a minute. Stop with the attitude."

Thankfully he did stop and turn back around. What I saw was that his calm and stoic mask was planted firmly on his face.

"Why should I? Huh? You're not a piece of glass, you won't break."

The words I had spoken not even ten minutes ago were now being thrown back at me. It felt like a slap in the face; it hurt like one too.

"No, but I'm scared," I said, my voice a whisper. "I'm scared because _you_ are scaring me." I sniffled a few times because I still had tears pouring. "You promised I never had to be afraid with you, but I'm afraid now."

His shoulders slumped and his expression softened considerably before he spoke.

"You _don't_ have to be afraid," he said firmly and more gently than he'd been speaking previously. "I'm not gonna hurt you. It doesn't matter how angry I get or how frustrated you're making me…I won't hurt you."

I relaxed slightly and breathed a sigh of relief. It was like a weight that I hadn't even known had been there was lifted off my chest. It had been lifted because Jacob was being Jacob again and he'd only been having a mood swing. A fairly bad one, but still, just a mood swing. Not that I hadn't deserved it. I'd been acting selfish, making this all about me when it wasn't. It was about all of us. If Michael was up to something…we all needed to know what it was. I honestly hoped Michael wasn't doing anything…evil, that he hadn't fooled me all this time. Made me feel for him and then…but I had to know for sure.

"Come on, Crys, I still need to get you home."

"Just me?" I asked.

"I need to run, Crys. If I don't…we're just gonna argue again and he's not worth arguing over."

"Okay…" I moved to his side slowly and bit my lip hard enough to draw blood.

The rest of the walk was mostly silent…it was our first awkward silence and I hated it. It wasn't supposed to be like that with us. But I didn't want to say anything to make him angry again. I didn't want to make him yell again. Well, actually, I didn't care if he yelled, I just didn't want him yelling at _me_.

"I'm really sorry, Jacob," I said. "I didn't mean to…" I sighed. "I loved Billy, you know that. I didn't mean to make you think he didn't matter. It's just…I freaked out a little when you mentioned Michael."

"Yeah, I actually noticed that, Crys." His voice had hardened again and so I didn't say anything else.

* * *

At the edge of the woods I moved away from Jacob slowly and then turned to watch as Jacob pretty much poofed into a wolf, his shorts shredding in the process.

"I love you, Jacob," I said, and even though he'd already begun running I knew he'd heard me. Hopefully that would be enough to bring him back soon.

I went inside and got a pair of Jacob's jean shorts out of his room and then went back out to set them on the porch ramp. I sat there, too, and I was decidedly _not_ waiting for him to come back.

Oh, who was I kidding? I was so waiting for him to come back. And because he was Jacob I knew he would. I knew because, since I was his imprint, it would make him even edgier to be away from me for a long period of time. So he'd come back and…then what? We'd talk rationally? Could Jacob be rational about Michael? I wasn't too sure.

I didn't know how long I sat there holding Jacob's jeans and thinking things over, but by the time I came back to myself I was shivering and wet. When the hell had it started raining?

Apparently, it had been pouring for a while because my clothes were wet and sticking to me, and my hair was drenched.

I sighed because apparently…Jacob still needed to cool down. And sitting there waiting for him to just magically appear was not helping matters at all - actually, it just made it feel like time was moving slower than it actually was - so I decided to do something constructive.

I would go see Michael. Now. Vampires didn't sleep so I knew he'd be awake. And hopefully, it would shed some light on the situation.

After I'd made the decision to go I left Jacob a note on his pillow stating where I was going and that I'd be back sometime the next day. Hopefully with answers.

Then I just took off. I didn't use Jacob's car, I didn't need it. I could _run_ the speed limit and it was two in the morning so no one would see me, anyway. Not that I would leave the cover of the trees unless I had to.

I had on the jean jacket that Jacob had given me and it kept me warm enough even though I would have preferred Jacob himself doing that. I made it to Michael's in about thirty minutes, jogging the whole way. Well, _my_ jogging, anyway. I didn't stop to look through the downstairs rooms, I just went straight up the stairs and then kicked Michael's door in. If he wasn't up to something, I could apologize later.

Michael was in the living room along with two other vampires; one male, one female. I'd never seen the male before, but the female looked familiar. I had definitely seen her before. A couple months back I'd gone to a warehouse to kill a vampire and this girl had been in the process of being changed. Michael was supposed to have killed her.

Michael had lowered into a defensive crouch when I'd burst in here, but now that he'd seen it was me he stood back up straight. He looked a little happy to see me, though a little surprised too.

"Crystal? What're you doing here?" he asked.

Valid question since it was in the middle of the night and I usually didn't take random strolls this late.

"Can't I just drop by for a visit?" I snarked. "Who are they?"

"They're guests," he said smoothly. Too smoothly.

"Uh-huh. Last time I saw her she was writhing on the ground." I glared at him. "I thought you were gonna take care of it. I _trusted_ you to take care of it."

"I did take care of it. I never said I was gonna kill her; you only assumed."

"Yeah, but you knew what I meant when I left you there with her."

I looked at the girl-woman-vampire. She seemed to be around fifteen, if that. A spark of compassion hit me full-force because none of this was her fault. She'd been a hapless victim.

"Who is she?" I asked softly even though I knew all three would hear me without a problem. "Where's she from?"

"Her name is Elizabeth Carson. She prefers Beth. She's from California. Her parents reported her missing about a week before you found her."

God, poor girl.

The poor girl had thick brown hair, an oval face, and weepy eyes. Not _crying_ eyes, because vampires couldn't cry, I didn't think. But they were weepy as in sad looking. And they were red.

"Is she - her eyes," I said. I was eighty percent sure Michael wouldn't have let her have free reign to eat people, but…I had to be sure.

"She's not hurting anyone," Michael claimed. "She's still practically a newborn. Her eyes are going to be that way for a while."

"How can she control it? If she's…I mean, the thirst should be driving her crazy."

Michael turned his head away guiltily and I suddenly remembered his nifty little gift. Hypnosis.

"You're making her? I thought you said you hadn't used it since you've known me."

"Until her, I hadn't," Michael said.

I didn't know whether or not to believe him because I had just found out he'd lied to me, and that, as Jacob had said, he was up to something.

"What're you doing, Michael? Huh? There are girls like me downstairs. Why're they here?"

Actually, I hadn't seen any girls, but I hadn't been looking. Whatever. Point was that Jacob was part wolf, so if he said he'd smelt them, then I trusted his nose.

Michael sighed wearily. "So your mutt told -"

"Don't call him a mutt or a dog or whatever. He is a person," I said. "And yes, he told me. My question is: Why didn't _you_ tell me? Why're they here?"

"I am protecting them. I told your -" he broke off when I glared. "Jacob. I told Jacob that. He didn't believe me, of course. But I gotta say…it actually hurts that you don't."

I scoffed. "Well, why should I? You haven't given me much reason to. Keeping secrets and such."

I suddenly remembered the other two vampires. They were both stone still and trying to act like they couldn't hear us. I was grateful for the illusion of privacy.

"Can I…talk to her? Them? Are they a danger to me?"

"They _are_ vampires. Of course they're a danger to you," Michael said angrily. "If you meant do they wish to hurt you then no. I'm not leaving you alone with them, nonetheless."

I moved forward slowly so as not to startle them. Or Elisabeth at least. She was still new; when vampires were new they reacted fast and with little provocation.

"The other one? Who's he?" I had directed the question at Michael, but the other male vampire answered himself.

"My name is Patrick." I noticed he had a precise way of speaking. Slowly almost, like he was choosing his words wisely before he spoke.

He stood up and I took him in. He had honey colored hair and a devil-may-care appearance. His clothes did not match the way he talked. Black leather jacket, T-shirt, jeans, and biker boots.

Kind of like Michael, only Patrick looked kind of…less devious. His eyes were amber-ish. Not as light as they could be, but still…he didn't hunt humans. Patrick wasn't that much taller than me, and his frame was soft but firm. No obvious show of muscle, but well-defined nonetheless. His features were soft and kind and I instantly relaxed around him.

"You're Crystal, I take it?" he said softly and, again, precisely. "Vampire Hunter. Or do you prefer the term Slayer?"

He moved toward me and I found myself moving toward him in return. It was almost like I was being compelled to do it, because I hadn't _consciously_ told myself to do anything of the sort. When he reached me he took my hand in his.

"You are much prettier than the last one I met."

His voice was like flower petals caressing my skin it was so soft and alluring and…I could practically feel the words flowing over me. He stared deep into my eyes and I just about got lost in his. He was so close I could feel his breath on my face, his sweet breath, and then…

"Stop that!" I snapped.

He'd been doing that one purpose, damn it. Vampires always had ways of drawing people in and damn if that hadn't worked for a second. Patrick was smiling mischievously now and he had a devilish glint in his eyes. Friggin' vampire.

"Sorry," he said. "I always do that when I meet a girl for the first time. But you _are_ prettier than the last Hunter I met."

I snatched my hand away from his when I realized he still had a hold of it and had to restrain myself from punching him in the nose. Although he deserved it, I was sure, because he'd tried to kiss me or get me to kiss him.

"How did you do that, anyway? That's never worked on me before."

"I look…unassuming, right?" Patrick asked and immediately his face fell into the soft, kind expression that had mislead me before.

I took a step back because shame on him if he fools me once, but shame on me if he fools me twice and all that.

"It makes people feel good around me, relaxed. They let their guard down."

"Yeah, well, that won't happen twice," I seethed. Now that I'd been bedazzled I was angry. "Do you live here?"

"I live in this apartment building."

I then began ignoring Michael and Patrick - neither were in my good book at the moment - and sat down in front of Beth and, staying on alert, began talking to her.

"Beth?" Her eyes had been on me for a while now, but she was…_focusing_ now and not in a good way. Her eyes were hungry. I waited for her to make a move because if she'd been controlling herself this long…maybe she could do it now, and I wouldn't kill her if I didn't have a reason.

"You smell different," she said, and her voice was a soft soprano. "Better." She sniffed again and grimaced. "And worse. Like an animal. What is that?"

Jacob's jacket; I had his scent all over me. Now that I remembered I should smell repulsive to all vampires I was surprised yet thankful that the others hadn't mentioned it.

"Do you know who I am?" I asked. "What I am?"

She nodded. "You got rid of the one who…made me."

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm sorry that this happened to you."

I really was. When I'd heard about the missing people in Port Angeles I'd put off coming here for a few days and within those few days…she'd been bitten.

"Are you okay?"

She shrugged and smiled thinly. "I'm immortal, so that's in my favor, health-wise."

"I meant are you happy?"

She shrugged again. "I don't know. I guess being indestructible is pretty cool." She swallowed thickly and turned her head away. "I don't want to hurt anyone, but it's so…hard. I can smell all the girls downstairs. I can hear their hearts beating, their blood pumping."

The girls. Right. That's why I'd come in the first place. I'd just gotten distracted.

"I wanna see them," I said firmly, looking at Michael. "And I want to know why exactly they're here. You said you were protecting them. Protecting them from what?"

"The same thing I'm protecting you from," Michael said sincerely. "The Volturi. They're not just after you anymore, Crystal. They want everyone like you, and they want you to lead them. The girls…"

"Take me to them." I moved from Beth to Michael and grabbed his arm. "We can walk and talk at the same time. So…start talking."

"What do you want to know?" he asked, following along.

"How did you find them?" I shrugged. "I mean, I thought they were randomly chosen, like everywhere in the world. I didn't think it was…" I was confused. "I didn't think there was a pattern to it."

"Not exactly," Michael said. "It's a girl thing and it does run in families. It _can_ be passed on from a guy…for instance, your dad was a carrier, but it would never had taken affect in _him_. Like I said, it's a girl thing."

My dad…had been a carrier and, like a disease, he'd passed this on to me? God, there was so much I didn't know about myself and where I came from. I stopped walking and let go of Michael's arm. My eyes began stinging with traitor tears and Michael looked at me.

"Crystal? You okay?"

Was I okay? For some reason, that question made me want to laugh; it actually bubbled up in my chest and exploded out of my mouth in a huff.

"No, Michael, I'm not. And coming from _you_ right now, that question is a little much. You've been lying to me; I wanna know why you've been lying to me!" The last part was yelled at him. "I wanna know because I thought you cared about me."

"What? Of course I care. Why would you -"

I didn't even let him finish. One second I was standing there, pissed, and the next I was bringing my fist up to connect with his jaw. Then he reacted and hit me back. It wasn't hard enough to hurt, really, but it still shocked me and it brought more tears to my eyes. It shocked me because he was Michael and I'd trusted him and he'd…

"You hit me," I said staring at him. I didn't know if the hurt and disbelief I was feeling showed on my face, but Michael backed away from me and looked stricken himself.

"I'm sorry," he said breathlessly. Ha, of course it was breathless; he technically didn't need to breathe. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to -"

"You hit me."

Even when we'd been training before when I'd been living with him, he'd never just reacted before. Not like that.

"Well, you hit me first," he defended.

"Oh my God, what're you, twelve?"

"No. You have the strength of a newborn, remember? That actually hurt me."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I said defiantly and with a hint of sarcasm. I took a deep, soothing breath. "Look, can we just go see the girls? So I can get out of here."

"Gotta get back to your _dog_?" Michael commented scathingly. I knew he only said it that way because he knew it would get to me.

I clenched my fists and tensed. "He's not a _dog_. He is a man, and _he_ never would've laid a hand on me like that."

"Whatever. Let's go."

"Yes. Let's."

* * *

Michael led me to this lobby type area and he picked up a phone. It ended up being hooked into an intercom system that blasted through the entire apartment building. It hadn't occurred to me until just then that the girls were probably asleep. Or at least they had been - they weren't now, if the loud message Michael had just given was anything to go by. He wanted everyone to meet in the training room.

"The training room?"

"The basement," he clarified.

"How many girls are there?"

"Almost fifty. I don't have nearly as many girls as the Volturi does."

"The girls that I'm supposed to lead?" I needed to be completely clear here, because obviously Michael wasn't going to by himself.

"Right. That's what they want anyway."

"Hm." I sighed and I placed my hands on my hips. "How do you know all this?"

"I've known for a while. I've know how to track people like you since…well, genetic sciences has come a long way, let's put it that way. Records are easy to come by when you have money, so…family histories…"

"Like family trees?"

"Sort of," Michael said. "I can remember all the women who lived through the…transition. The ones who weren't like you…at full strength…they aged, of course, because only the _real_ Hunter is immortal."

"Okay, so all the girls _here_ will age? All the ones the Volturi has…?"

"They will age and eventually die. They -" Michael stopped talking and looked toward the hallway. "They're coming." Michael and I were still in the lobby, but now we began moving toward the basement access door.

As we walked downstairs I began thinking of how much Michael had kept from me. He could probably fill a thousand page book with that information. But the genetic thing made sense, or…more sense than girls getting randomly chosen anyway. It was like the wolf gene apparently, it got passed down from generation to generation, sometimes it took affect, sometimes it didn't.

When we reached the floor Michael hit a switch that filled the basement with light. I could tell this was a training room - it had training equipment. Mats and punching bags - made from metal - and loads of other stuff. I remembered training with things like this.

"So, um, I'm guessing you own this building?"

"Uh-huh. If you'd have done your homework we wouldn't be having this conversation."

I glared at him. "Don't you dare try and switch this around on me. This isn't my fault. I thought I could trust you." I shook my head regretfully. "I cannot _believe_ I argued with Jacob over you. You're not even worth it."

"Oh, did you and the puppy have a fight?" Michael mocked and I felt like hitting him again. Then more seriously, he said, "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No," I answered. "It was what I did to him, okay?" Then I glared again. "And he's not a puppy. He could rip your head off faster than you could blink."

Before Michael could respond a large group of girls descended the staircase. Like Michael had said…there were about fifty. Some were older than me, some were younger. Like, way younger.

"What're _they_ doing here?" I pointed to a small group of girls who were no older than nine-years-old. "Are they training too? Because they are way too young."

"They don't train _now_. When they get old enough they can make their own decision. The rest of them, though, do train and they do it willingly."

"What's up, Michael?" a girl asked him. "This another recruit?"

"No, Anna. She's not a recruit."

_Anna_ was maybe twenty with long flowing brown hair. She was about my height and she seemed to be the most confident one here.

"This is Crystal Evans," Michael said. "The one I told you about."

"_The_ Crystal Evans?" another girl spoke, this one younger. Like fifteen-ish. She had jet-black shoulder length hair and a pale complexion. She was maybe 5'3".

"Yes," Michael answered. "She's _the_ Hunter." He turned to me. "This is Michelle."

Michelle was looking at me like she had a serious case of hero-worship. She didn't even know me…_What_ had Michael been telling these girls? Because I wasn't anything special, honest.

"She could help protect us. Help us take on the Volturi."

"_That's_ what you're -" I was cut off by a _bang_. It came from upstairs. I glanced at Michael who nodded at me and we both began ascending the stairs. At least we were on the same page on this.

He stopped midway and crinkled his nose. "Ugh, it's another one of your mutts." Then he started walking again.

"Oh, I left Jacob a note saying I was coming here. It's probably him."

"Oh, joy."

"Be nice," I warned. "He'll behave if you will."

When we reached the top I totally stopped in my tracks when I saw it was Seth and not Jacob who was here. And he wasn't alone. There were four vampires with him. Two of them were from my first dream.

"Jane. Alec. Felix. Demitri," Michael said, stepping forward and in front of me.

"Hello, Michael," a vampire with brown hair spoke. "We knew if we waited long enough you'd come here eventually." The last statement was directed at me. They'd been waiting here. And, what, Seth had followed me?

"Finding your little friend here," one said, motioning to Seth, "was just a bonus."

I studied the two I'd seen in my dream. The girl was Jane, obviously, and her eyes held a hint of madness and malice.

"You must forgive our rudeness," a black haired vampire said. "I am Felix." The fighter. "Alec is the boyish one, and Demitri is the brown haired one."

Felix had an almost British accent, an overly refined way of speaking. I found that Jane did, too, when she spoke.

"Who is your friend, by the way?"

I didn't looked at Seth, and I tried to sound indifferent. "I don't know him."

"Oh. Really?" Jane asked, sounding really put upon. "Well, then, he's not really useful to us, is he? Felix, why don't you just take care of him for me?"

Before Felix even began to move I locked eyes with Seth and nodded and then Seth was blur of changing features. As his wolf burst forward he knocked Jane and Demitri away. They actually looked shocked for about five seconds.

It was long enough. Within those five seconds Seth had raced to my side and he had his teeth bared at the four red-eyed vampires. They were over their shock now, but we had even more company now. The two vampires from upstairs, _and_ the girls from downstairs.

"Damn it!" I muttered. The Volturi would want these girls, I was sure.

"Ooh, more girls. Aro will be so pleased!" Jane said. "Thank you for gathering them up. You've made our job so much easier. Maybe we'll spare your life."

"Don't bother," Michael said. "I didn't do it for you."

"Regardless. Job well done." That was Felix. "Now, you girls will be coming with us tonight. Willingly, hopefully."

"Oh, can't I play with them first?" Jane asked. "I would so like to."

"Later, sister," Alec said. "We need to be quick."

"You're not taking these girls," I said. "Not without a fight."

"How cute," Jane cooed. "You really think you can take all of us on?"

I looked from Seth to Michael and smirked. "No, I really don't."

It didn't stop me from acting. I went directly toward Felix - he was the fighter, after all. But before I could reach him this intense pain fell over me. My knees gave out on me and I hit the floor, but that pain didn't even register because the other pain was so bad.

My body felt like it was on fire - it was like the effect of vampire venom only my whole being was alight with it. Then it was just…gone. The pain was gone, but I was still shaking from it. God, Michael had told me Jane could torture someone mentally, but that had been…there weren't words.

I heard a growl coming from the side and saw Seth pinning Demitri to the ground and Michael fighting with Felix. I stumbled to my feet and saw Jane looking at me gleefully.

"I am going to take such sweet pleasure in taming you."

"Hm. And of course you're going to take the coward's way out and not fight me."

"I play to my strengths."

Suddenly a whine came from Seth and I glanced to see Demitri holding onto Seth's huge neck; he was getting ready to snap it.

"No!" Before realizing I was reacting I had jumped onto the vampire's back and grabbed his head. I pulled and twisted. It came off with a metallic twang and I threw it to the side. Demitri's arms came up and his fingers grasped for the missing head.

His arms were the next to go. Seth had grabbed one with his teeth and I'd grabbed the other. We pulled simultaneously and he came apart. I decided to let Seth take care of the rest of the body.

I looked murderously at Jane, who seemed surprised by the easiness of my attack. Then I gestured back to Seth. "_He_ is off limits."

The demise of Demitri had made Michael and Felix stop fighting. They both seemed fascinated by Seth tearing the vampire apart.

I looked at Michael. "Make sure Seth gets out. Gets home. Even if I don't." I was giving him permission to use his hypnosis thing.

"Very noble," Jane muttered. "Idiotic girl."

I watched as Michael got Seth's attention and started muttering before I turned to Jane. I would take a little more pain if it would save Seth. The pain did come, but it didn't last too long; it was still agony. It didn't last too long because after about a minute of fighting it, I gave in and let darkness take me.

* * *

Uh-oh. What's gonna happen? You'll have to stick around to find out. LOL. Sorry, but I guess I'm evil that way. Love you guys.


	14. Chapter 14

Okay, so I know it's been over a month since I last update this, but that's because my aunt has been in and out of the hospital since August last year. She was in there for about a month for the first time because she's had a majoy surgery and she didn't heal quite right from it - still hasn't actually - and then she was in and out after that until around the first of December and then she was in there for another forty days.

Anyway...for those of you who are sticking with me...Thank you.

As usual, if you recognize anything from the actual books then...it's not mine.

Chapter Fourteen

When I woke up I was in - surprise, surprise - a stone room. It was dark and damp. Maybe I was underground. The next thing I realized was that I was freezing. It was friggin' cold - I was slick with cold perspiration. My clothes were pretty much in ribbons and Jacob's jacket was ripped to shreds. I didn't understand what had happened to make my clothes be that way. The last thing I remembered was me being in pain and having relief because I passed out.

I moved to sit up but stopped when I registered that a sharp pain had shot up my right calf. When I reached for my leg I realized my hands couldn't move apart from each other. I looked and realized why; they were trapped between what looked like silver shackles. It couldn't be regular silver, though, because that wouldn't hold me.

"So…you're awake," a silky smooth voice said.

Michael? I glanced in the direction of the voice and saw that, yes, Michael was indeed here with me. But…what did that mean? Had he been working with the Volturi all along? Had I been stupid to trust in him so deeply?

Whatever, it didn't matter right now. I had more important things to worry about.

"My hands," I said. "What kind of metal is this?"

"I don't know, but I can't break it either."

I sighed and again tried sitting up. Just like the first time, pain shot through my leg. I checked to see why; there was a huge-ass cut that went straight down the back of my calf. My leg and what was left of my jeans were covered in blood in that area. My blood. I didn't mention it, though, because I knew Michael would be able to smell it anyway. I went back to talking about the metal bindings.

"Volturi creation, no doubt."

"No doubt," Michael agreed.

I looked around and tears filled my eyes. God, how had this happened? I mean, no, things hadn't been the best at home, but they had been _okay_ and they would've gotten better. And Jacob…my chest actually began hurting, aching, _throbbing,_ just from thinking his name.

The selfless part of me was glad he wasn't here because who knew what these vampires would put him through; the other less selfless part that had come to rely on him wanted Jacob here no matter what because I was hurt and scared and I needed reassurance that everything was going to be okay.

And how was _he_ doing? Did he even know I was gone? That I'd been kidnapped and was being held prisoner somewhere.

"Where are we?" I asked shakily. "Do you know?"

"No. I know the sun is out, though. We had to stop so we wouldn't be exposed. You've been out for almost eight hours."

"I passed out. Jane…really took it out of me."

"She does that," Michael said. "Are you okay?"

I stared at him. Even through the dark I could tell his eyes were black - my blood was getting to him. Was that why they'd brought Michael, too? To try and make him have a relapse - make him drink a human, namely me? Or did they want to see if I'd kill him first? But…back to the conversation. He'd been wondering if I was okay.

"That depends. Are you working for them? Have you been playing me this whole time? I mean, the girls…keeping secrets. And why are you being nice to me again all of a sudden? I mean, you were being a jerk earlier. Or yesterday. Or whenever the hell it was."

Michael had said I'd been out for eight hours so I was thinking it was noon-ish. I'd arrived at Michael's around two or two-thirty in the morning and I'd only been there for maybe an hour before Seth and the vampires had shown up. So, yeah, around noon.

As I'd been talking I'd noticed a hint of hysteria in my voice and I tried to make it go away. I could _not_ afford to freak out; it…would not help my situation at all.

"I'm not working with them. I haven't been since I left you. And I haven't been playing with you. The girls are… I was telling you the truth. The younger ones, their families are dead - and before you ask, no, I didn't kill them."

He took a deep breath like he actually needed it and tensed. He began holding his breath. My blood, again. I knew it smelled good to him, but I hoped he didn't give in. I didn't want to have to fight him.

I wanted to wrap my arms around myself - which with the shackles was a problem - because I could feel a mental breakdown coming on. I was alone here. Sure, Michael was beside me, but I was still alone. Michael was not who I wanted. I wanted what I had run away from. I wanted Jacob and his warmth and love. I wanted safety and security and familiarity. I wanted to be home.

A sob broke through my lips as I realized everything I was lacking at that moment, Jacob being the most important. What if I never saw him again?

"Are you crying?" Michael asked, sounding horrified.

I _was_. After the first sob had escaped the rest didn't mind making an appearance as well. And I didn't have safe, warm arms to hold me now, I didn't have the deep, soothing voice trying to ease my panic. I didn't have anything because I'd left everything behind when I'd decided to take a night trip to see an old friend, who didn't deserve to be my friend anymore.

"Crystal? Calm down, this is not helping," Michael said, almost calm. If I didn't know him I would've thought he didn't care. But I knew he did even if he had been lying to me the whole time. "Look, I can't help you because I can't come any closer without endangering you, so you're gonna have to help yourself. You're gonna have to calm down. Now."

"I know that!" I wailed. "Shut up."

But knowing I needed to calm down and actually doing it was two very different things. The only thing my mind could focus on was that I was alone and I wanted to go home.

"Okay, I know this is bad, but you'll be okay. You'll heal and -"

"I don't care that I'm h-hurt!" I yelled. "I care that I'm s-stuck here with you and that I'm not at home where I'm supposed to be and I don't know what I am or what's gonna happen and I want to go home!"

I was full-out yelling - _yelling_ - at him because I was freaking the hell out and everything was just spewing out.

"And you wanna get back to Jacob," he said, no malice in his voice at all. He was sympathetic now. But I didn't care; I was still pissed.

"Well, duh. It sure as hell beats being _here_!"

I realized, though, that I had stopped crying so much, though I still had tears forming in my eyes. I remembered what we'd been talking about - the girls.

"Tell me more about what you're doing with the girls. You said the younger girls…their parents are dead?" God, some of them were even younger than I'd been when my parents had died.

Michael nodded. "The older ones…I explained to them what they were and that if they stayed with their families it would put them in danger. The ones who believed me…they came with me willingly. And since I'm thorough…I made their families forget they even existed."

I couldn't even bring myself to get mad because, if he was telling the truth, it was easier that way. He'd probably watched the girls beforehand, got a read on who they knew, who they cared for, and blocked them from everyone's memories. Made it like they'd never even existed.

"And I was being a jerk to you because you royally pissed me off by thinking I would ever betray you after everything I've done for you. They are considering killing me because I chose to help you fight." He raised his arms; his hands were in shackles too.

"Sorry." And I was, not for questioning him, but because he was pretty much waiting for his sentence to be decided.

He waved me off. "I'm not asking for an apology. I made my decision and I would make it again. Just think about that the next time you wanna accuse me of not caring about you. Jacob's not the only one that matters."

Jacob. I looked away guiltily. I'd hurt two people recently - Jacob and then Michael - because I spoke before thinking. God… But I shouldn't care that I'd hurt Michael; he didn't deserve my concern. Not after keeping everything from me. Not after everything I'd learned at the apartment.

_The apartment_.

"Um…Seth…is he…?" After what I'd done, he'd better have gotten away.

"He left before they got to him. He didn't want to leave."

"The girls?"

"They're here somewhere. Some of them, anyway."

Some of them? "What does that mean?"

"Some of them chose to fight. They…didn't make it."

My breath caught in my chest. God, they were dead. I couldn't focus on that right now. I couldn't let myself care about them, care that they were dead. Not yet.

"Elizabeth and Patrick?" The two vampires.

"Here. The Volturi will probably try to convince Patrick to join them. His ability is a remarkable one. I'm not sure what Elizabeth's ability is. Caius will be able to tell."

Right. Caius was the one who could sense abilities.

I bit my lip, wondering what I should ask about next and then I realized…me.

"What happened to me? My leg, my clothes."

"They cut your leg so they could get your blood. They should've done your arm, but…a hurt leg makes you more vulnerable. You can't move as easily. Your clothes…they soaked strips of your clothes in your blood and they laid false trails. Three or four of them. They wanted the wolves to be misled. It gave us time to get away."

"But there's a trail to follow?"

Michael shook his head. "The trail - the real one - leads to a road, where we all piled into a limousine. Jacob won't be able to follow. Your scent ends where we got in the car."

I sighed. I didn't know whether I should be disappointed or happy. On the one hand, I needed him and on the other…I was happy he was safe.

All thought was then interrupted by a pair of footsteps and both Michael and I looked toward the sound. Jane and Alec were coming toward us. She looked murderous and he, well, he looked gleeful for some reason.

"Aro wishes to speak with you," Jane directed at me. "Get up."

"Aro is here?" Michael asked. "But he never leaves Italy unless - "

"Unless there are special circumstances," Alec said. "She is a special circumstance."

Alec was looking at me oddly. Hungrily - though…he was a vampire and I had blood on my leg and even though it was dry he could still probably smell it; it stunk to me, but it would smell good to him - and lustfully. It was the lust I was worried about. What would he do about it?

I forced myself to stand up and, putting as little pressure on my right leg as possible, I managed fine.

"Take me to him," I said, sounding braver than I felt. I was hoping I could talk to Aro and find out what he wanted and maybe we could work something out. Something that let me go…home.

Michael had to stay behind, but I went alone willingly. Whatever was going to happen to me…it didn't have to happen to him as well.

* * *

As I'd suspected, I'd been underground. We came to a stairway and the two vampires made me go first. Jane stepped ahead at the top and led me down a long hallway. Alec walked beside me, apparently not minding my pain-induced slow pace.

He ran the tip of his tongue over teeth as white as his skin. Smiling, he stepped closer and drew my body into his arms. I stopped walking, obviously, and froze completely. What the hell was he doing? Oh God, was he going to try and eat me?

He touched his lips to the dark waves that framed my face. He was kissing me? First Patrick and now Alec? Really? Didn't they know I wasn't into dead guys? I liked my men - well, _man_; only one - warm and with a heartbeat.

I pushed him away even with my shackled wrists. He needed to stop.

"You might as well get used to it. He took an instant liking to you," Jane said, grinning wickedly. "You're his intended."

I blinked a few times in shock. Say what now? "Intended? Sorry, sweetie, I'm taken."

I made sure he kept his distance as we continued walking and took in the hallway. There were doors on either side of us - too many to count - but we eventually came to the last door at the end. Jane opened the door and yanked me in, making me lose my balance and hurt my leg further.

Three male vampires were here. Aro, Marcus, Caius; the three from the painting Michael had shown me. I _must_ have been a high priority because all three were here for me.

"Jane, dear, don't be rude," Aro said.

He sounded a little…crazy. Aro was deathly pale - well, duh, he'd been dead for three thousand years. He had black hair. Both his lips and his eyes were red - the only parts of him that weren't white.

"You are awake," he observed. "You gave us quite a fright. Jane can be a little overenthusiastic."

"Where am I?" I asked, because I needed this information.

"It doesn't matter," Aro answered simply. "We will not be here long. We'll only be here until we decide where to go next. But don't fret, you will be safe here."

Safe? Here? Ha. I was surrounded by vampires - one was a fighter, one was a torturer, one wanted to eat me/make me his - and I was safe? I wasn't safe. I was alone and quite possibly done for.

When I didn't say anything Aro stepped forward and smiled. "This is a lot to take in. That's understandable. But…you will learn your place quickly. Until then we will protect you."

My place? I didn't need to _learn_ my place. I already knew my place was the spot next to Jacob, and it would be my place again if I could find a way to get the hell out of here. Then _he_ could protect me like he'd always wanted to.

"Protect me? That's funny since one of your lapdogs tried to kill me earlier." Or tried to kill _Seth_ anyway.

"Oh, yes. Demitri's demise is most unpleasant," Aro said, sounding disappointed but not remorseful. "However, the little amount of effort it took you to take him out is…fascinating."

I shrugged, my tattered clothes moving with me. "I didn't do it alone."

"Yes, I saw that. You had a little canine assistance. Too bad he got away. I was so hoping to meet one of his kind."

Aro had stopped in front of me and he brought his hands to my face. He was the one that could read every thought with a touch and I wondered if that was what he was doing now. When he pulled away I saw his red eyes were a little dazed, but he shook it off quickly.

"You see your gifts as a curse," he said softly. "I'm sorry you feel that way. Why _do_ you feel that way? You won't age, you can't get sick, you can't be hurt easily. You are immortal! You could live like a god!"

"No. That would be wrong."

"Ah, that pesky conscience of yours is the problem. Once you feed, that'll go away."

Was he serious?

"I'm _not_ going to feed. I refuse to become what you are." I was adamant about that.

"You _will_ feed. I'm sure of that. You see, you won't die. Not really. You'll weaken and the thirst will drive you crazy, but you won't die. _That_ is the fate that awaits you if you choose to ignore your hunger."

God, I had seen this, this plan to starve the humanity out of me, but…I couldn't give in. I wouldn't. I'd rather die.

* * *

After about ten more minutes of Aro's crazy talk he told Alec to take me back to my cellar - he'd seen I was a thinker so he wanted to give me time to, well, think.

On the way back to the cellar Alec became…grabby.

"Hands! Hands in bad places!"

I moved away, but really there was nowhere to go and he had me pinned against the wall in no time. He had his hand down the front of my jeans in about three seconds and then his fingers started probing. His fingers were inside me and it hurt. God, it hurt.

"Stop!" I yelled, grabbing his arm with both of mine and trying to push him away, but then I learned he hadn't been using his full strength.

He used one hand to shove mine above my head and the other he kept exploring with.

_No, no, no, no, no_, I kept repeating in my head. I began struggling and his grip became tighter and his invasive fingers became more violent. It was like he was trying to punish me for not wanting this.

"Stop it!" I said, bucking against him to try and shove him away.

"Stay still," he snarled. "You're not makin' this easy."

My wrists began aching from me pulling at the bindings and I could feel as the metal cut through and blood made the surrounding area slick, and if I could just keep him occupied for a few more seconds I'd be able to slip free.

Another place I was sure had blood flowing was the place Alec kept sliding his fingers into. There had been no wetness at all when he'd shoved inside and now it was slicker, but I knew it wasn't moisture from arousal so…it had to be blood. I was pretty sure, however, that he hadn't…broken through anything. That I would've felt, I was sure, and I hadn't so… It was still uncomfortable - hurtful - and his fingers were hard and cold.

After fighting with my shackles I finally had them off and they fell to the floor with a _clang_. It distracted him enough for me to be able to break his hold on me. He was surprised and I grabbed the arm with the invasive fingers and - thank _God_ - they slipped out of me.

I proceeded to rip that arm off, offensive thing that it was. He let out a scream and it brought me a thread of happiness because he was hurting and _I_ was causing it.

My mobility was hindered because, as Michael had said, my hurt leg made it harder to fight, made me more vulnerable, and so when I ended up on the cold, hard floor it didn't surprise me. Pain shot through my wrists as they were jarred and my lady bits were sore from the earlier unwelcome intrusion. I'd probably cry about that later, but right now…right now I needed to focus on fighting.

Alec had made me hit my head on the stone floor and it had paralyzed me for a second. Long enough to give him time to climb on top of me. Time enough for him to rip the middle of my shirt - even though he only had one arm - and begin rubbing at my flesh. It was almost like he was trying to dig into it. There was no love behind it at all; there was no tenderness, and his hand was hard and cold, like ice. His hand tried yanking at my bra, but he was suddenly thrown off of me.

Cold arms lifted me up off the floor and set me on my feet. There was a moment of quiet relief that washed over me because I was no longer being attacked, but then I realized I still wasn't safe. I looked into the face of my rescuer and saw…Marcus.

Uh-oh. This didn't bode well. Had he stopped Alec just so he could finish the job. But…no, he didn't look lustful or hungry, even though my blood was flowing freely out of my wrists. God, I hoped I hadn't hit a vein or anything. Marcus looked indifferent. Or maybe bored was a better word.

"Alec, you were supposed to return her to her cell, not frighten the poor child."

Alec looked properly chastised and hung his head. "I'm sorry. But she just smells so good."

"If you couldn't handle this task you should've said so." Even though Marcus was acting _cold_, he still held a note of authority in his voice. "Go back to your living quarters and take your limb with you."

Alec obeyed instantly, but he looked at me longingly as he went. I shuddered as the reality of what had almost happened sank in. I wrapped my shirt around myself and, not for the first time, wished for strong, safe, warm arms that I could fall into. Jacob would make me okay again. But Jacob wasn't here, so I'd have to make due.

Tears were forming in my eyes _again_ and I rushed to wipe them away.

"Alec is a sociopath," Marcus explained. "A mirror of his ability. He can make you feel nothing, because he himself feels nothing. He doesn't understand the concept of right and wrong. All he knows is that he wants you, so he thinks it's okay to take it." Marcus sounded almost apologetic. "We'll keep him away from you. Aro needs you alive and well, not traumatized and afraid."

I sniffled once and moved away from him when he reached for me.

"I'm not going to hurt you. Let me see your wrists."

My bleeding wrists? A vampire wanted to see my bleeding wrists? Bad, bad idea.

"I'm not thirsty today," Marcus replied, amused. "But I need to make sure they won't get infected."

I let him check my wounds but kept a careful watch to make sure he wasn't going to suddenly become bloodthirsty. Marcus's fingers trailed over my skin gently, and he looked at my wounds clinically.

"They're not too deep. You're lucky it didn't pull the skin away from your whole hand. You should be fine." He eyed the state my clothes were in. "Do you need something to wear? I'm sure I could find you an extra robe."

Marcus was wearing a brownish black one, but I shook my head. I didn't want to accept anything from him or any of the other Volturi members.

"You're going to get cold down here."

"I don't care."

With that he began walking me back to the cell I was sharing with Michael.

* * *

Once I was back with Michael I sat on the floor and brought my knees up to curl my arms around. I flinched and held my breath as soreness settled in between my thighs. The sitting up wasn't helping, but I couldn't lay down; that would make me even more vulnerable.

I was sure that even though my barrier hadn't been broken - Alec's fingers hadn't prodded that far in - he had still torn something or bruised at least. He hadn't been gentle at all.

"As long as you don't try and escape we won't re-shackle you; your wrists need to heal."

That's how Marcus left me. Scared, alone, and hurt.

"Crystal? What happened? Why're your wrists bleeding?" Michael was still here, obviously, so if the Volturi were planning on killing him they hadn't yet. I still felt alone, even with him here.

"I used my blood to get free." I began shivering. "Alec…he…" I couldn't say it out loud.

It seemed I didn't have to, though, because Michael seemed to understand. "He likes girls like you. Hunters at full power. He likes the challenge. Did he…" Michael sighed. "Is he gone?"

"No. Marcus stopped him from…ya know."

I began shaking even more. Everything was crashing down on me and I was finding it hard to breathe. Not another breakdown; I couldn't again. I was already exhausted from the physical and emotional trauma from the past however many hours.

"I ripped his arm off," I said. That part seemed to stand out.

Michael groaned and I looked at him. He was trying to get his shackles off. It was chipping away at his skin.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"You need a shirt. I can't give it to you with these things on me."

"I'm fine," I said stubbornly. I didn't really want to accept anything from him either.

"You may be able to handle the cold better than an average human, but the temperature still affects you. You're shaking like a leaf."

That was true enough, and I _was_ cold, but that wasn't the only reason I was shivering.

"Help me get these off," he requested gently.

"I'm still bleeding," I said. "Can you keep yourself in check?"

"I'm not thirsty. The only reason my eyes are black is because of the smell."

"Oh."

I crept closer to him and began yanking at the metal; within seconds I heard a metallic cracking sound. His wrists wanted to come off, _would_ come off if I continued pulling.

"Michael…" I said hesitantly.

"It's okay. They'll reattach."

So I pulled as hard as I could and his wrists came off.

"Sorry!" I muttered as Michael groaned. I was thankful he hadn't screamed because, unlike Alec, I didn't _want_ to hurt Michael. But I'd done whatever I'd needed to do and the shackles fell to the floor.

I reattached his hands for him, making sure I'd aligned them right, and he took his shirt off and handed it to me. It was long-sleeved, it would be warmer than my shredded shirt. I turned away from him while I slipped it on. It was really long on me; it came half way down my thighs. And it _wasn't_ warm. It didn't even feel like it had been worn; it was as cool as if I had picked it fresh out of a closet.

"Michael?"

"Hm?"

"We have to get out of here. I have to get home. I _need_ to get home."

"You mean you need to get back to Jacob." Again there was no malice in his voice. Maybe Michael had been telling the truth and he'd only been being a jerk because I'd hurt him.

"Yes," I said softly. There was no use in denying it; he was the thing I was missing the most about home.

I wrapped my arms around myself and sat back down. I let out a small, quiet cry of pain as I realized my center was still sore. And why the hell wasn't I healing? I wasn't fatally wounded or anything so why wasn't I getting better?

"You're in love with him."

I nodded and bit my lip. "It's more than that, though. He's my soul mate. He…imprinted on me. I _need_ to get back to him because I don't know what will happen to him if I don't." I didn't know what would happen to _me_.

"Imprinted?"

"Basically, it means I'm the center of his world," I said, not wanting to get into it. Besides, Jacob explained it so much better than I did. "I'm it for him. And he's the perfect match for me."

* * *

Michael kept me up to date about how much time had passed by. I kept slipping into unconsciousness for some reason. Michael explained it was because I was weak. I hadn't had anything to eat or drink and add in all the crying and other bad things and my body had weakened. Jane's torture hadn't helped any. It was why I wasn't healing.

According to Michael, I'd been here for two days. God, Jacob was probably going out of his mind.

On the second day, Aro came to get me himself and he wanted me to follow him. He said the same thing Marcus had; that if I didn't try to escape I could remain unbound.

He led me to a library-study type room that was well lit. There were the typical desks and chairs with a reading lamp on each. The room was above ground and it had a window, but it was barred. No chance of escaping that way. I could see it was raining, though, so if they decided we should find some place new the sun wouldn't be a problem.

"In your thoughts I saw you like books. We have many more in Italy. They would occupy you for a century at least."

I glared at the books - there were many - at the desk, at the chairs, at anything I could get my eyes on and then eventually at Aro himself.

"I don't want books. I want to go home." How many times did I have to say it, or think it, for that matter?

Aro grimaced. "You mean the home you ran away from? The _boy_ you ran away from? What makes you so sure he would want anything to do with you now?"

"Because he loves me." And because he was Jacob.

"Yes, but you do not belong with him. He's not even the same species as you. How could your relationship possibly work?"

I was not going to explain every aspect of my relationship with Jacob, so instead I went with, "I don't expect you to understand love. Not when you yourself can't feel it."

I was fairly certain he wasn't able to feel _any_ good emotion, not truly. He might feel a fleeting joy whenever he fed, but that was probably it. He would never know true happiness. Or peace.

"Michael said you were collecting girls. Why?" I asked, not really expecting an answer. Or at least not an honest one.

"We want to create order out of chaos. You must've noticed how unbalanced the human world has become. Wars, disease, famine. The humans have a way or destroying each other that amazes even us. It's chaotic, like our world was when we created the Volturi. We balanced things out."

He gave me a second to take that in.

"You could rule over the other girls and through your direction, you could lead the humans into a better life."

That was just a cover up story, I was sure. These were power hungry and bloodthirsty vampires. They didn't care about humans, though he did have a point about humans destroying each other.

"You mean you want my help to take over the world. To dominate over humans."

Jeeze, how bored had he been lately to make a plan like that?

"Why me? Why would you pick me to lead these other girls?"

"Because you're the strongest. You are _the_ Hunter, and you've proved yourself over and over. There is also the small asset of you being able to go where _we_ cannot. You can walk in the day when we can't."

"You want to take over without exposing yourself," I said, catching on rather quickly. "Without endangering yourself."

"Yes," Aro agreed cheerfully. "Think about it. You could have anything you ever wanted. Go anywhere you want. _Do_ anything you want. And with us behind you no one could stop you."

I wasn't worried about anyone stopping me, I was more worried about who was going to stop him…_them_. Because they were clearly insane. They'd had way too much time on their hands, it had driven them crazy.

"I want to see the girls," I said firmly. "I'm not saying I'm going to do what you want, because I don't really agree with what you're doing, but I want to see them. I need to know they're okay."

"Some of them are in the middle of a transition, dear. Some of them realized there was no use fighting their own nature and they gave in quite easily."

"They're feeding?" I asked, disgusted.

"Yes," Aro took on an almost sympathetic look. "It's nothing to be frightened of. I'm sure that you'll realize that once you've tried."

"I don't want to try," I replied, crossing my arms over my chest defiantly.

"You'll change your tune soon enough." Aro moved to the door of the library-study room and turned back to me. "Stay. Have a look around. There are a few volumes here I think you'll be interested in."

Then he proceeded to walk out, shutting and locking the door behind him.

* * *

Okay, so...what do you think? You now know what the Volturi is up to - and I think that given enough time in the actual books that the Volturi would've gone for world domination if they'd had the means - and you know the plans they have for Crys. You also know now that Crys isn't as together as she thinks she is and that she's been kind of taking Jacob for granted. She didn't really know how much she'd miss him until he wasn't there. As always, review, let me know what you think. Thanks in advance. :)


	15. Chapter 15

Okay, I'm going to tell you guys the same thing I told my Supernatural people...my computer hates me and it only lets me on sometimes. LOL. So I'll update when it lets me.

As always...I don't own anything you recognize from the books or movies.

Chapter Fifteen

I sat there at the desk for at least thirty minutes before I got bored and actually began looking over the books. The volumes weren't titled, they just had numbers on them; like encyclopedias. I was pretty sure these were years, though. They were dated back at least three hundred years.

I took one volume off the shelves and began reading. It was a journal - a _science_ journal, it looked like. But I automatically knew why Aro had thought I'd be interested; it was the science behind my line. How exactly they had gone about creating us.

_Whatever_.

I closed the book because I already knew the basics, I didn't need to know anymore. So I chose a different book from a different shelf. These were numbered, too, but not with years…just regular numbers. 1-100. The next shelf down was 101-200. So on and so forth all the way up to 500.

I chose the first volume and brought it to the table. As I began reading my heart started to race unsteadily. These were journals, too, of a sort. The Guardians had kept records of their charges. The training, the way the charge - Read: the Hunter - had acted, whether they had obeyed without question or not. Oddly enough, as I found out from reading, few Hunters went against the Volturi. I guessed they were afraid of them.

I skimmed the first couple volumes and realized that the first Hunter had lived with the Volturi. The first few had, actually. The Volturi had tried to pick local girls so they wouldn't have to go any further to bring them to Italy. But then, through the genetics thing Michael had told me about, the Volturi had tracked other girls. Family trees that dated back to the first trial runs the Volturi had performed was how they'd found their girls.

I placed the book back on the shelf and then picked up the last of these volumes. It should've been about me, but it wasn't.

Hm. Of course. Those were probably in Italy, the one place on earth I did _not_ want to go to. And where the hell were we right now? A location would've been helpful.

The doors clicked as the lock was undone, and I was brought out of my thoughts. I inwardly groaned when I saw it was Jane there. Of course Alec was with her. So much for them keeping him away from me.

My body involuntarily shuddered at the memory of his assault and I tensed in case he had that in mind again.

"We're taking you back to your cell. Aro said to ask if you need a human moment. The bathroom, maybe?"

The bathroom sounded amazing, not only because I needed to us it, but because I wanted to wash off. I had dried blood all over my right calf and over my hands from my wrists.

On the trip to the bathroom I tried to gain more information.

"Those journals…why do you keep them?"

"Mapping out progress, of course," Jane stated as if it were obvious. "Your line has come a long way. It's not always a good thing. Girls these days don't listen as well as they should."

"Hm. They aren't obedient little automatons, you mean."

"Whatever."

I tried paying attention to where we were going, but there ended up being way too many twists and turns and too many doors we had to go through. There were windows, but they were boarded up.

"Where are we?" I asked for what felt like the millionth time. "I know we didn't get too far away. Even though we were in a car you had to stop because of the sun. We maybe would've made it into Canada, but not far."

"Very astute," Jane snarked. "We own property everywhere. This is just one of many."

I tried to hide the relief I felt. If we were only in Canada, which…from what she'd implied, we were, then Jacob would be able to track me _somehow_ even if there wasn't a trail to follow. Hopefully he wouldn't be alone; I would need all the help I could get if I wanted to get these girls out of here, which I did. Badly. They were here because of me.

We finally made it to the bathroom and they let me in by myself. There was a shower stall, but I was _not_ going to do that here, not with Alec so close. So I just stuck to the basics. I relieved my bladder, which was probably a mistake, and then I took a couple mouthfuls of water from the faucet. Then a couple more. I hadn't realized I'd been so thirsty until then. I stopped myself from drinking a lot because I didn't know when my next bathroom break would be.

I slowly and gently began washing my hands and the surrounding areas. I only used water - there was soap, but it would burn so I left it alone - to clean my wounds. I did the same with the one on my leg.

It was while I was immersed in cleaning my leg that Alec came in the bathroom and again I found myself shuddering from his presence.

"You again. What do you want now?"

"Jane wants you to hurry up." He smirked. "She hasn't got all day."

I rolled my eyes. "She's a vampire; she's got an eternity. She can wait."

In a blink, he was behind me and bending me over the sink and I could feel him pressing against my backside. His hands were squeezing my hips hard enough to bruise and he was trying to force my jeans down.

"Oh, come on! You remember what happened the last time you messed with me." I reminded him fiercely even through my fear.

"I _do_ remember."

The denim material was halfway down my hips now and he was still squeezing hard even as he was pushing my pants further down.

"That wasn't very nice, ripping my arm off."

Yeah, well, if he didn't stop, I was going to rip something _else_ off. Something that was distinctly a part of the male anatomy.

I grabbed both of his hands and twisted until he let go; I was not going to let fear paralyze me. He grunted in pain and almost made me laugh when he asked, "Why are you fighting this?"

"Uh, I don't know, maybe because you kidnapped me, you've assaulted me twice, and you just kinda piss me off."

I wasn't sure if kicking a vampire in the nuts would work, but that's what I did. Amusingly enough, he fell to his knees and began holding onto them like they were trying to run somewhere.

"Now listen to me. I'm not yours. I don't _want_ to be yours. It'll never happen, so move the hell on and leave me alone."

With that I left the bathroom and I had to say I felt liberated. Kicking Alec where-the-sun-don't-shine had really helped remove a little of the fear I'd felt from our previous encounter. I wasn't some helpless victim.

As Jane turned to me I gave her a smartass smirk and said, "Okay, I'm done. And tell your brother if he wants to keep his bits attached he needs to keep his hands off me."

* * *

It was during the fourth day that I began to feel thirsty. My throat had started burning while I'd been asleep and it had gotten so bad that it had woken me up.

Michael was getting thirsty, too. He hadn't been hunting in almost two weeks. I hoped he didn't lose control with me. Though it didn't really matter because we were both screwed if we didn't get out of here soon, anyway. I was already weak because most of me was human; Michael would get weak, too, if he didn't feed soon. And then we'd both be defenseless.

My wrists were still hurt and my leg was still sore. The wounds were still raw, but Michael said if I could hold on long enough for us to get out of here I'd be okay. I just needed food.

Today was the day Aro decided to let me see the girls; of course it was probably because he knew my throat was burning with thirst at that particular moment. And crap, the girls were human. But I didn't not want to see them just because of that; I needed to see them. I needed to know if they were okay and who had survived from the apartment.

Aro led me to a big room. The girls were there. About twenty of them. Did that mean…God, Michael had said some of them had chosen to fight and they hadn't made it.

Thirty of them were gone.

This was all my fault. If I'd never gone to Michael's then the Volturi never would've attack the way they had and these girls would still be safe at the apartment. I would still be safe at home with Jacob.

But, no, I felt like I would go catatonic if I thought about him so…the girls. I could focus on them. I only recognized Michelle - the one with a sad case of hero worship. I'd seen the younger ones, the ones who were nine or ten years old, but I didn't know their names.

Aro left me with them and I began taking in our surroundings. The room was pretty plain, it was obviously a holding cell without it actually being a cell. The size was pretty massive. If all the girls had been alive then they would've fit in the room comfortably.

"So, you're the new girl," a female voice said, so I looked towards it.

The voice belonged to a blond girl - my age, maybe a little older. She was slim, she had a swimmers build. She was shorter than me, but she seemed able to take care of herself very well if her defensive stance was anything to go by. And there was something in her eyes I didn't like. They seemed cold, distant almost.

"I'm Crystal," I said, stepping forward. "I don't remember you from the apartment."

The blond shrugged. "Wasn't there. I'm Lindsey, by the way. I'm sort of the ring leader around here. The Volturi trust me to lead the girls the right way."

"Huh." What page was she on? "Well, sorry to tell you, but Aro told me he wants _me_ to lead these girls."

She eyed my appearance, taking in my clothes and the blood on them, plus my not-healing wounds.

"You don't really look like you're up for it."

"I'm not really," I admitted. "But I'm the Hunter, so I guess that means something to them."

"Hm. Doesn't mean much to me," Lindsey said, shrugging again. "Except that I know they've been searching for you for a while. I mean, _we've_ been searching for you. We'd have reached you, too, if it weren't for your shirtless bodyguard. Too bad _he_ wasn't at home the other day when I paid his dad a visit."

Her tone was taunting and the wheels started turning in my head. Billy…had been attacked and the wolves hadn't gotten there in time. Maybe because it hadn't really been an actual vampire that had killed him. But then…why had they had a trail to follow? Maybe she'd had a vampire with her?

Whatever. Didn't matter. All that mattered was that I now had her pinned to the ground and I was choking her. While my hands were on her neck maybe I should've snapped it like she'd done to Billy.

"You? You killed Billy?" I squeezed harder. "How could you do that?" Billy had never hurt her, had never hurt anyone, so _why_ had she killed him?

Lindsey's eyes flashed black, like the only things she had were pupils - like when a vampire was thirsty. It surprised me enough to let go; it was enough for her to knock me away. She was strong, as strong as me. How was that possible? I knew I had to be weaker than normal, but not _that_ weak.

"How did you…?"

"Hm. Surprised?" Lindsey got up and we faced each other. "It's amazing what a little human blood will do to you. It's very invigorating."

My throat burned at the mention of human blood - _God, I needed it_ - and then a wave of nausea hit me because of my thoughts.

"You drank somebody's blood? Are you crazy?"

"No, I'm not. And it's not as bad as you think. The control comes easy if you're disciplined enough. It took a few months and then I was able to control my thirst. And now…now I feel stronger, faster, better than ever."

"But…you killed a man. An innocent man." I shook my head, disgusted, and I realized I had wanted to kill her not even five minutes before. Hell, part of me still wanted to. "And you don't even care, do you?"

She had delusions of being a vampire and she had no conscience.

"Of course I care! But the Volturi…they _don't_ care. I know once I start outliving my usefulness…I'm as good as dead. Now maybe you're willing to choose death, but I'm not."

Two thoughts pressed through my mind simultaneously. _Self-serving bitch_ and _coward_.

"So that's it? You're willing to kill people, willing to take orders if it keeps you alive?"

"Uh, _yeah_," she said obviously. "And you're stupid if you won't do the same."

"No. We _help_ people! When the Volturi created us they didn't know that would happen. We are not meant to _kill_ people. They're innocent."

Humans had souls, or they were supposed to. It was part of their general make-up. I knew I had a soul, if I didn't Lindsey would've been dead the moment I'd found out the truth.

"When it comes down to it, we're expendable. They're not. _Ever_. Taking a human life is never okay, no matter how much you try and justify it to yourself."

Lindsey pretty much just rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, spare me the humanity speech. I can't do anything about it now. It's done." Her tone was matter-of-fact, no emotion at all. Maybe it was like with vampires; since Lindsey had fed, maybe she could cut off her emotions. I refused to believe she had no conscience. She was alive and had a soul, so she _had_ to have a conscience.

_I_ had a conscience, but…it didn't stop me from wanting to take a bite out of this girl here, though it was more from anger than thirst. Although the latter was an issue, too.

I shook my head to clear it and realized then that the other girls were staring at me. Maybe they thought I was crazy from my pro-humanity speech.

The door to the room opened and Jane came in, no Alec this time.

"You've seen the girls. Are you happy now?"

"Thrilled," I deadpanned.

"Jane. Go back to Aro," a tired, almost bored voice said, and then Marcus stepped forward. I could actually take him in this time. He was a gaunt but graceful figure.

He kind of had this cold indifference about him, like maybe he had nothing to live for. Though technically he wasn't alive; the point was he didn't look happy. He didn't look like he was enjoying immortality. He looked like he was merely surviving.

When Jane left Marcus came and looked at my wrists like he had the day I'd hurt them.

"What're you doing?" I asked.

"Struggling," he said in a flat, tired voice. It reminded me of a war-worn veteran's voice, like he'd seen way too much in his time. Not surprising since he'd been around for three thousand years. "You girls follow me. If you want to live."

Was…that a threat? Or was he offering to help? I couldn't really tell because his eyes betrayed nothing.

"Come," he replied. Then he turned to the door.

I felt I had no choice but to follow, no matter where he was going to take me. Or…_us_. Because as soon as I began walking the other girls began following me. The only one who hesitated was Lindsey, but even then it was only for a few seconds.

We were already underground. I'd known that when Aro had been leading me down here - but I had no idea where we were going now, and I wondered if I was making a huge mistake, if I was leading these girls into a death trap.

We ended up at another holding cell and I recognized it as the one I'd been in earlier. The one with Michael in it.

"You're letting him out?"

"I won't be able to fight them on my own," Marcus replied, somewhat bored. "And neither can you."

"No arguing there," I muttered and then more firmly, "Why are you doing this? Won't they…come after you now?"

"They won't find me, not with Demitri gone. Your work, nicely done, suits me fine." He released Michael before continuing. "As for why I'm doing this…Aro has lost his mind. I thinks he's forgotten what it was like in the old days when peasants would hunt us down with torches. People used to know we existed before we became a myth. If Aro does what he wants, which he will, then someday we will be exposed. Things will go back to the way they were, only humans have better weapons now."

"You don't know if you would win," Michael said.

"No," Marcus answered. "I don't."

I took in Michaels appearance and noticed his eyes were jet black; he was extremely thirsty.

"Are you gonna be able to hold off feeding for a while?" I asked out of concern for the girls. If he _couldn't_ wait, I'd let him eat Lindsey.

He nodded slowly, like he'd had to think about it first. "Yeah, we'll come across woods eventually, I'll feed then."

"This place is hidden in the woods," Marcus said.

Our group began walking again and someone grabbed my hand. It was one of the younger girls. She had tears in her eyes, but she was holding them at bay. Strong little girl, and I didn't even know her name. I picked her up and boosted her up on my hip and she wrapped her little legs around me to secure herself. She placed her head on my shoulder and sniffled a little.

"What's your name?"

"Melody," she answered softly. "Are we leaving?"

"We're gonna try," I said. When I realized that wasn't exactly comforting I hugged her to me tighter. "We'll be okay whether we get out or not. My friends will come for me. They'll help us."

After I'd picked Melody up the other younger girls crowded around me, too, along with Michelle, the fifteen-year-old with hero-worship. Lindsey glared at me, but I didn't care. I cared more about the welfare of these girls than she did, and the girls could sense that, I guessed.

"Your friends can fight vampires?" Melody asked, wonder in her voice. "Are they like you?"

"Um…not exactly. But they can hold their own. And, uh, you might see something a little scary, but I promise you they're my friends and they won't hurt you."

She lifted her head and I took in her round cherub face. She had honey-blond hair and ocean blue eyes. They looked too old to belong to a nine-year-old.

We made it out of the ground and I realized we were on the floor I'd been on when I'd been taken to the library.

"We're not goin' to confront them, are we?"

Marcus looked at me and the indifference fell from his face for a brief second. "What did you think I meant when I said I couldn't fight them on my own."

"Great," I muttered. "These girls can't fight, Marcus."

"No, but you can. I can. Michael can. Lindsey can."

I glanced at Lindsey, wondering if she would be on our side, but I immediately wrote her off as a lost cause. I wouldn't even think to trust her to help, not unless it would help her. It would be stupid to count on her in any way.

"What about Patrick? Or Elizabeth?" I suggested. "Elizabeth probably won't be much help, but Patrick might."

"We can't get to them. They're both being treated like royalty; they have the presidential suites."

I didn't know if he was being sarcastic - or if he could be sarcastic - or not, so I glanced at Michael, who shook his head.

"That just means they're being guarded well."

"Oh." Well, why hadn't he just said that?

"Are you ready?" Marcus asked.

"Absolutely not," I said, taking a deep breath. "But let's go anyway." I put Melody down because I was sure I would need my hands free. "You guys stay behind us, okay?"

They did what I said immediately and it almost made me flinch. _Why_ did they have so much faith in me? It wasn't like they really _knew_ me.

We walked calmly to the door of the throne room - or that's what I was calling it now. I wasn't really taking anything in; I was too focused on the fact that I was probably leading these girls and myself into a deathtrap. Or - shudder - a torture chamber.

Marcus unceremoniously burst through the door; the rest of us followed after him.

"Marcus?" That was Aro. He seemed surprised to see all of us. "I'd wondered where you'd gotten off to. What're you doing?"

"The rational thing," Marcus said, holding his hand out for Aro to touch.

It bought time for me to take in my surroundings more thoroughly. There were two double doors to the left. There were crates and packing equipment spread throughout the room. We were in a warehouse type place. I hadn't noticed before.

"You wish to betray us?"

"No," Marcus replied. "But you've gone past mere power-hungriness. Your little scheme is insane. Somewhere deep inside I'm sure you know that."

Felix, Jane, and Alec came forward, and I automatically knew Felix would be coming after me. The way he was looking at me, I could tell he wanted to take a shot at me. He _was_ the fighter after all.

Any other time I would've gone after Felix in a heartbeat, but now with me being hurt and weak…no. I knew my limitations.

Before I even knew what was happening, Marcus was yelling on the floor and Felix was rushing toward me. I moved out of the way just in time and was surprised yet happy that Michael had had the foresight to move the girls to the side. That would've been a disastrous collision.

I kicked at Felix's stomach and then punched at his jaw, but it didn't do much good. The guy was immovable. Maybe that was why he was so…good at fighting. He was invulnerable.

Both movements sent sharp pains through my body; one through my wrist, the other through my leg. This was not going to be a good fight.

Felix wrapped a stone hand around my throat and squeezed hard. For a second I panicked, but then I knocked his arm away - and again my wrist hurt. I was pretty sure he had _let_ me do that.

"So, you're the one that wants to screw up the boss's plans?" Felix said lightly and I knew he was trying to distract me. Wasn't going to work.

I did a spinning kick and landed it on his jaw; his head didn't even move. That was beginning to piss me off. If I'd been at full strength, that kick would've torn his head off.

I hit him five times in the chest and all I got was a smirk, so I punched his face again trying to remove the evil expression from his mouth. I got nada for my efforts.

I knew I was taking to much time, expending too much effort, but I enjoyed hitting him. I had never liked fighting; I had sort of hated it, actually. But now after not having done it in so long…I was finding it very therapeutic.

Though after three more punches I realized Felix was just _letting _me hit him. He wasn't fighting back yet. What the hell was he waiting for, a formal invitation? It was confusing to say the least. And he was steadily pissing me off.

Then he hit me with his stone hand; he punched me in the chest and I went flying. I wasn't aware of much except the crash I heard and the pain I felt as I went flying through the doors. I landed outside. _Outside_.

I let out a small _oof_ as I hit the ground, and my breath left my body. God, I was going to feel like _hell_ in the morning, assuming I made it until then.

Suddenly I was being yanked up by two cold hands; Felix had come outside for me. It didn't matter; like Marcus had said, the place we were hiding out at was secluded and surrounded by trees.

I kicked away from him to put some space between us and tried to catch my breath. I let out a yell as this immense pain burst from my shoulder. Felix had karate chopped down on it. A deafening _crack_ made me aware that my shoulder was dislocated.

_Crap_.

My left arm was pretty much useless now. And I was being thrown into a tree. That didn't hurt as bad. I was tougher than the tree; it still disoriented me, though.

I got back to my feet and wiped at my mouth. My hand came away red - God, I never used to bleed so easily. My lip was busted and I was sure I had a knot forming on my head

I shouldn't have worn myself out earlier. I should've taken into account that I was weakened; I shouldn't have used so much strength while I'd been enjoying using Felix as a punching bag. Because now he was using me as one.

The blows just kept coming in quick succession and, soon enough, it was like I couldn't even move, but that didn't stop Felix. I ended up on the ground and he stomped on my back like he was telling me to stay down.

I heard a _whoosh_ and a growl - an animalistic snarl, almost. Something stepped over my prone form, making Felix back away, and it stood there in a protective stance.

_Jacob_!

I knew who it was without even really looking. I could practically just _feel_ that he was there because as soon as I'd heard the growl I'd relaxed.

I looked at Felix, who seemed to be wondering if he should run or not. I hoped he tried to fight; I would've loved to watch him get torn apart. Before Jacob could even react Seth came from the side and knocked Felix off his feet, then Jacob, Embry, and Leah attacked.

I had never seen Leah as a wolf, but she was a beautiful white-silver.

_God, I hurt_. My whole body; I couldn't move and I could feel myself fighting the need to pass out. I took slow, calming breaths to try and teach myself how to take in oxygen properly again.

_You're okay. You're okay_. I kept repeating it in my head, but it didn't make it real. I wasn't okay. I was…not okay on an _epic_ scale.

I made myself sit up, helping myself with my good arm. I let out a quiet sob as my body protested the movement.

"You shouldn't be moving. You were nearly killed," Michael said, appearing beside me. He grabbed my hurt shoulder and began pressing lightly. "This is gonna hurt. Feel free to scream if you have to."

With a resounding _crack_ my shoulder went back into place, and I _did_ scream. At which I heard another growl and Michael moved away from me slowly. Right now Michael knew Jacob was the predator and he himself was the prey.

"Her shoulder was dislocated, Jacob. I was just fixing it for her."

Jacob let out a grunt and plopped down beside me. Wolfy translation: She doesn't need _your_ help; she has _me_.

"What about Jane and -"

"Alec is gone - I killed him." The silent 'for touching you' was very loud to me. "Jane was angry, but she and the others ran when your friends showed up."

"Lindsey? The other girls? Marcus?"

"Lindsey's still here. The girls are fine. Marcus took off, but not with the Volturi."

Jacob nuzzled against my arm once before getting up and going behind a tree - to change probably. When he came back I saw he was very tense.

He knelt beside me and began checking me over.

"Why the hell did you leave, huh? You knew they were after you, so _why_ would you leave? In the middle of the night. You almost died, Crys! What would I have done if -" he broke off and took a deep breath. "Don't ever do that to me again."

"I promise," I said softly, not looking at him.

Jacob's voice contained restrained fury. It was shaking with the need to yell at me. There was worry and hurt and _God_, I was sorry. I hadn't meant to hurt him at all.

"Look…I don't want to get into it right now. You're hurt and we need to get you somewhere safe, okay? But we're gonna have to talk about this. I mean, you can't leave home every time we have an argument."

I heard a snarl and looked around. Michael, Patrick and Lindsey were holding Elizabeth, the newborn, back. Seth, Leah, and Embry were crouched ready to spring. I didn't know when or how Patrick and Elizabeth had made it out of the warehouse.

"Stop them," I said weakly. "She won't hurt me. She's a newborn, that's why her eyes are red, and she can probably smell the blood."

"If she's a newborn then she can't control it," Jacob muttered, not seeming happy with my decision. "And you're practically bleeding to death. They can't let her go."

"No, Michael's been controlling her. She hasn't hurt anyone yet and she won't hurt me."

Jacob bit his lip, contemplating. Finally, he nodded. "Fine, but if she lays a _finger_ on you…" The promised threat was obvious and I wasn't going to argue.

"Agreed." I moved my legs and grabbed his shoulders to try and hoist myself up. "Help me up. I have to go get the girls. They're in the building; they're waiting for me."

Jacob clenched his jaw and shook his head before doing as I'd asked and helping me up. When I was finally on my feet and could breathe normally again…I found there was a problem.

My throat was still burning - now more than ever - and Jacob was so close and he…smelled good. My teeth actually began aching with the need to sink into his soft flesh. I yanked away from him and placed a hand over my mouth and began fighting back the gags that wanted to come.

God…no! Jacob was _not_ a food source. He was not made to be edible. Jeeze. As it was, he seemed confused and hurt by my actions. Well, I was sorry, but he obviously wasn't aware of how delicious he smelled to me at the moment.

I needed to focus on…something else. As much as I wanted to throw myself into his arms…I couldn't risk it. I wouldn't risk hurting him like that. So I distracted myself by making sure Elizabeth was under control now. She had settled down, but she still looked ravenous. I felt for her now; I knew what it felt like now. It was probably harder for her. _I_ was bleeding. Jacob wasn't, which was good because if he had been…I wouldn't have been able to not…bite him.

Michael had been trying to soothe Elizabeth, but he didn't seem to be fairing any better than the newborn because he hadn't fed in a while. The only vampire who seemed to be doing okay was Patrick. His eyes were dark brown, not quite black - so he wasn't driven crazy with bloodlust. Yet, anyway.

"You guys better go," I said. "Go hunt. I don't want you around the girls while you're thirsty."

Oh, God, but what about me? I was thirsty, too. What if I did something to one of them? But on the other hand…other than Lindsey and then Jacob I hadn't really had an overwhelming need to…drink anyone.

"I'll take her," Michael said. "I'm not sure when I'll see you again. I can't go back to Port Angeles, not now. They'll know where to find me. I'll call you, though, okay."

I swallowed convulsively because my throat felt swollen all of a sudden. Michael was leaving. The part of me that was the same as it was _before_ I'd found out he'd been lying to me was rebelling against that idea. But the part that knew he was capable of doing that just wanted him to go away and leave me alone. Because I had trusted him like an idiot. He'd been part of the Volturi for goodness sake and, what, I thought I could make him good just by being nice to him? So yeah, I was an idiot.

All I could bring myself to say was, "yeah, okay."

Michael and Elizabeth zoomed away, but Patrick stayed behind. He had his soft, innocent expression going and I felt myself falling into it. I blamed it on the fact that I'd just gotten my ass kicked.

He moved forward and I leaned away from him and into Jacob. Even though Jacob did smell appetizing - shudder - he was better than Patrick.

"Stop it," I said weakly, though I had half a mind to let him do it, just so Jacob would get rid of him. He was fairly annoying. "Get out of here."

Patrick grinned and dropped the innocent act. "Oh, relax, it's not like I was going to kiss you."

"Good thing, too, because it would've been the last thing you ever did," Jacob snarled and I almost smiled at the possessiveness in his voice.

"Hm…" Patrick looked Jacob up and down, sizing him up, and shook his head. "It's not worth getting my head ripped off, anyway."

Then he took off after Michael and Elizabeth.

* * *

Okay, so...what do you think. I introduced a few new characters, and a few new problems that Crys is going to have to work through. Yup. Anyway, I will tell you now that ALL of the girls won't have a part to play but a few of them will. Obviously Melody is one of them or I wouldn't have introduced her like that. LOL. Anyway...leave a review please. :)


	16. Chapter 16

Okay, so I'm gonna tell you right now...I'm not sure what Jacob's reaction would be if his imprint - his EVERYTHING - were to get into a life-threatening situation would be, so I just went with what I THOUGHT would be a proper reaction, which is: pretty pissed off. Sounds logical, right? Anyway, please let me know if I got it right?

Also, I've been writing this story in Jake's POV too and I was wondering if anyone would be interested in reading it? I don't really wanna post it if you guys are indifferent.

Usual disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize because I'm not Stephanie Meyer. If I was, I'd be a LOT richer than I am and I would not be writing fan fiction. I'd like to say I own Jacob Black, but...alas, I don't.

Chapter Sixteen

After gathering the girls up we tried to figure out what to do with them. With Michael having taken off I didn't know how to proceed. _He'd_ been the one who had taken these girls away from their families, had taken them away from their normal lives, and now he wasn't even here for them.

"These girls don't have families to go back to," I said, moving stiffly. "And I can't just -" I broke off as a sharp pain went through my back, courtesy of Felix's major ass whooping of me. I had obviously moved wrong.

"Crys?"

Of course, that was Jacob. Even though he was tense and angry, he was still super-attentive. Only it was in an aloof sort of way. He wasn't as gentle and affectionate; he was more clinical. It was as if he had removed the lovable part and replaced it with a calm and stoic version of himself.

That may have been _my_ doing, though. I'd been pretty much ignoring him since I'd realized I wanted to take a bite out of him. And I didn't want to tell him that because I didn't want to see the disgust I would surely see in his face if I told him. I didn't want him to know how hard it was not to grab him, bite, and then drink.

So ignoring him and distancing myself seemed like the better option, until just now when he was speaking to me directly.

"I'm fine," I said automatically. Then. . . "Maybe. I don't know. It doesn't matter. We just have to -"

"Doesn't matter?" Jacob, who had been calm-ish until now, exploded. "Oh, no. Ya know, you could have internal damage. You need a doctor - oh, but the only one you can go to is four hours away. But I guess it doesn't matter! Oh, and don't forget, you almost _died_! But that obviously doesn't matter either!"

I was getting ready to ask if he was quite finished, but I realized now was not the time to be a smartass. Jacob was already angry and I didn't want to risk him phasing in front of the girls. He would never hurt them on purpose, but accidents could happen. Besides, he was only speaking out of anger and worry, and he'd feel bad about it later. But still. . .

"Jacob, can we not…do this now? I need to. . .focus on keeping these girls safe." _And not wanting to bite him_, I added silently.

Jacob clenched his jaw and said, "Fine."

I could tell he _did_ want to do this now, though, and he was only keeping it in because I had asked him to. Not that I deserved any consideration from him at all after the stupid stunt I'd pulled, the one that led to me getting taken away from him.

I was grateful for the brief reprieve, but I was also dreading the moment Jacob would snap and let me have it. I remembered how I'd felt when he'd yelled at me before and I definitely didn't want a repeat occurrence, but…I knew it was coming and I deserved it.

* * *

Eventually we decided that Jacob would take me home first and the other wolves were to run at half-speed so the rest of the girls could keep up. The girls were okay with the wolves - except for Lindsey, but I didn't care about her - because I'd explained they were friends.

Jacob had to run at full speed, leaving the others behind, mostly because he wanted to get me to Carlisle's for a once-over. I didn't complain because Jacob was in a bad mood and I didn't want to get yelled at when he phased back to his human form. Granted, I knew it was coming and I completely deserved it, I just…didn't want it to happen right now.

Jacob had phased so I could ride on his back. It was bad. I could smell him still and I had to focus on everything _but_ his scent so I wouldn't end up with his fur in my mouth. Plus, he felt kind of bony-ish, like he'd lost weight since…I'd been taken. The reason I'd noticed was because his wolfy spine kept digging into my crotch, which…ow. But the uncomfortableness took my mind off my thirst, so I was almost thankful for it. Other than that, I barely noticed we were moving; he was being extra careful not to jostle me too much.

It took four hours, like Jacob had said it would, to get to the Cullen's place. When Jacob stopped moving he lowered himself for me to get off and so I did, stiffly. My arms hurt from hanging onto Jacob, my head hurt from…pretty much everything, my lady bits were now sore _again_. My…well, it would take too long to explain everything that hurt because _everything_ was hurting.

"Jacob, please, with everything that happened I just wanna go home." My voice cracked a little on the word _home_.

He shook his massive canine head and then phased back to human right in front of me. I clasped a hand over my eyes because he was naked. Yes, it was weird that with everything that was happening I was protecting my virgin eyes, but there it was.

"Oddly enough, I don't care what you want," he said, voice strained. "You're a walking bruise, so you're gonna let Carlisle look at you. Don't complain. Don't argue."

I didn't do either. It would've only lead to Jacob getting angrier. I did, however, almost fall over when I tried walking, so Jacob, shorts now on, carried me inside. I noticed he was shaking, but it wasn't like the tremors from phasing. It was more like he had no energy left and it was hard for him to lift even me.

Carlisle had everything already set up, so I assumed he'd known we were coming. Edward had probably read our thoughts and had told the others when we'd been a couple miles away. The front door was open by the time we reached it and we just strolled in. Carlisle showed us to an upstairs bedroom that looked more like a hospital room and Jacob placed me on the bed.

Thanks to having to ride on Jacob's back for four hours, sitting up was very uncomfortable on my woman parts and I began to fidget. Even my thighs were sore from gripping his sides. I vaguely compared it to having to ride a horse when you're not used to it.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked.

"Felix," Jacob answered. "He tried to kill her."

"He would've if you hadn't showed up," I said, though I figured it probably wasn't the best thing to say right now. And it _definitely_ wasn't what I should've said if Jacob's death glare was anything to go by.

"Yeah, well, if you hadn't have left I wouldn't have had to save you," Jacob pointed out. His voice was hard and I knew he wanted to yell at me, let me know how foolish I'd been, but I also knew he'd wait until we got home. Or at least until we weren't _here_.

Carlisle's probing fingers were suddenly touching my head and I flinched when he ghosted over a tender spot.

"Do you mind if I clean you off a little?" Carlisle asked me and I shrugged, jarring my sore shoulder. "Jacob?" I guessed he was asking for Jacob's permission to continue.

"Whatever. I'll just…wait outside." Then he left.

He wasn't staying? What happened to the Jacob who hadn't wanted to leave my side when I'd been hurt? Had that really only been four - five? - days ago? Whatever. The point was I wanted _that_ Jacob back. I wanted _my_ Jacob back.

A medicine-y smell hit my nose and Carlisle dabbed at my head with a cotton swab. It didn't do much good so he just got a washcloth and I let him wipe the blood away. Suddenly I remembered…vampire.

"This doesn't bother you?" I asked softly.

"No, it does. I'm just able to control my thirst."

"Oh." Maybe he could help me if mine became a problem.

"I think you scared Jacob half to death by leaving like that."

"Yeah."

_Please don't lecture me. Not about that_, I thought. I already had a lecture coming from Jacob; I didn't need one from Carlisle too.

"Where else are you hurt?" Carlisle asked.

"Everywhere," I whispered because it was true. "I sort of got my butt handed to me on a plate. I don't think I'm bleeding anywhere else, though. It just hurts to move. I'll be fine in a few days."

"Physically," Carlisle muttered. "You do realize you could have easily died? Gotten…killed?"

"Yes," I said guiltily. "I'm…sorry. It…won't happen again."

Carlisle shook his head patiently. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."

His hands fell to my neck and I realized there was blood there too; it had fallen down the side of my face and gathered there where it had soaked into my shirt.

"Um…Carlisle? Can I…when you, um, checked me over the other day when I was…ya know, cramping…and when I started hurting because of it, was I…I mean, was that normal?"

Carlisle looked at me oddly. "Well, for you, yes. Why?"

"Alec…he…well…" I lowered my voice to a whisper because in a house full of vampires and one werewolf you never know who's listening in., "let's just say he hurt me _there_."

"You want me to take a look?"

"No," I shook my head quickly. "I was just wondering, if he ripped or bruised anything…how long will it take to heal?"

"You should be fine after you get your strength back. A few days perhaps."

I nodded, relieved that it wouldn't take that long for me to get better. I was also grateful that Carlisle didn't push for any details or try to make me get another exam done.

The door opened and Alice, Emmett, and Jacob trailed in. Jasper, Rosalie, Bella, Edward, and Esme were nowhere to be seen.

"So…what's the verdict?" Emmett asked. "How's her head?"

"Still attached," Jacob snarked, but then grew serious when he looked at Carlisle and began waiting for the real answer.

"Her head is fine, no permanent damage."

"Hm." Jacob smirked. "Can't say much for the brain that's in there, huh? Assuming, of course, you had one to begin with."

I glared at him. What the hell? Was he calling me stupid? Or brainless? Idiotic, even? I knew what I'd done had been on the reckless side, but for him to call me on it was another thing entirely.

"Don't give me that look. I mean, seriously, how did you survive so long making stupid moves like that?"

I clenched my jaw shut because I wasn't going to dignify that with a response. If he wanted to act the way he was…well, two people could play that game. Actually, I wasn't going to play that game with him. I would ignore it until Jacob became Jacob again.

"Is she good to go home?" Jacob asked. "And did you check her back? The…vampire stomped on her pretty hard."

"Stomped?" Carlisle made a face like he thought I should've told him that. "And you're okay?"

I nodded. "I mean, it hurts to move, like I said, but…yeah?" I hadn't meant for it to sound like a question.

"Take your shirt off," Carlisle said. "Emmett, go wait outside."

Once Emmett was gone I removed my shirt and all three of the people in the room gasped. I knew it was because, like Jacob had said earlier, I was a walking bruise.

"_Crys_." That was _my_ Jacob. "God, what did they do to you?"

Then he was there - _right there_ - beside me and finally the events of the last four days caught up to me and I just burst out crying. I couldn't help it, the sobs clawed their way out of my chest and they _just wouldn't stop_.

And even though he was pissed at me he still couldn't stand the sight of me crying, not like this and not for this reason, so he carefully wrapped me in his arms and that just made me cry harder.

I was vaguely aware that Carlisle had led Alice out of the room, giving us privacy, or the illusion of it anyway. They'd be able to hear anything we said no matter where they were in the house.

"Shh, you're safe now, Crys, you're okay," Jacob whispered in my ear. "Nothing can hurt you here."

I wasn't worried about getting hurt, it was just…I hadn't really taken anything in until just then, and it was all hitting me at once. I began shaking from information overload. God, it felt like I needed to delete the files that were stored in my head just to make space for the new ones I'd received.

And his scent was getting to me again and I tensed up and clenched my jaw. Jacob felt the change immediately.

"Crys, what is it? Is it because you're hurting?" I could tell Jacob was frustrated. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"Everything's wrong," I nearly shouted through tears, and he flinched from my harsh tone. "Everything is…at least thirty girls are dead because of me."

"In the apartment," Jacob said softly. "I saw them."

He had? "You -"

"I came looking for you, Crys. When Seth phased while he was with you…I sensed it and I took off. By the time I reached the apartment building you were gone and…they were dead."

"Oh…"

God, I wondered how bad it had been, although part of me was glad I hadn't been there to see it. I didn't want to know what kind of hell they'd gone through. Especially if Jane had gotten hold of them.

"What happened to them, Crys?"

Jacob's voice was soft and patient now and it made it harder to respond. The comfort he was trying to provide was making me cry harder because, _God,_ I'd missed him. The real him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I left," I choked out. "I wasn't…" I ran a hand over my face, wincing as pain shot through every part of my arm. It had been the arm with the previously dislocated shoulder. "It shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have let it."

"It?"

"Those girls, they tried to fight. Michael told me…I was unconscious at the time, so I didn't… I made sure Seth got out and then…Jane did whatever it is she does, and I passed out." I shuddered at the memory of the pain Jane had put me through. "It won't happen again."

"Damn right it won't," Jacob said, some of his earlier anger resurfacing.

"Jacob, please, I don't wanna hear it." I really _didn't_ want to hear it right now. I wasn't feeling good and I couldn't deal with him saying whatever it was he needed to say.

"Well, you're goin' to. It's the least you can do after what you did, what you put me through. I mean, I saw what happened to you through Seth's eyes."

"If I could change things I would," I said, tears still falling only without the sobs.

Jacob moved to get the medical stuff Carlisle had been using. He began cleaning my wounds on my back. I had a cut on my shoulder blade and then one near my spine.

"Well, you can't change them," Jacob snapped. "Lay down on your stomach. What happened to your back, anyway? I mean, him stomping wouldn't have caused you to cut yourself."

"He threw me through a door. And into a tree. And then you saw what he did after that."

I heard as Jacob started taking deep, calming, breaths and I felt as his hands started shaking against my back.

"God, you couldn't just stay home, could you?" he said, but the anger was almost completely gone. "That would've been too simple, right? Do you know what it would've done to me if you'd died? I wouldn't have been able to survive, Crys. I would've…"

Hot liquid splashed against my almost naked back and I knew it was Jacob's tears. Jacob was…crying because of me. Because of something stupid I'd done.

"Jacob…" My voice wouldn't function properly; it wouldn't come out louder than a whisper. I tried to turn around, but he wouldn't let me up.

"Don't move. I'm not done," he said, and so I didn't turn around. He warned me that it would sting and then he began rubbing whatever he was using over my wounds.

Then he picked up where he'd left off. "If anything happened to you, it would almost kill me. It would probably hurt so bad that I would _want_ to die."

Another tear fell onto my skin and I had to fight the urge to reach out to him. I didn't know if he would accept anything from me at the moment.

"Crys, when I…imprinted…you became a part of me, so if I lost you…it would be like losing a part of myself. Losing half of myself, so when I said I couldn't survive without you I meant it literally. And I wouldn't want to." He said the last part softly, vulnerably.

After my back wounds were clean he stepped back and told me I could sit back up again. When he got a look at my front he began shaking again.

"And what happened to you there?"

I looked down and noticed my chest was a mess of bruises, none of them healing like they should've been.

"Felix choked me. I threw him off. He used his fist to throw me through the door. Hence the bruising."

Jacob took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Crys, you…" He stepped closer to me and placed his hands on the bruises near my neck and collarbone. "I've tried to keep you safe, but you have _got to be more careful_. As much as I want to I can't be there to protect you all the time, not if you're just gonna take off like you did."

"Jacob, I won't do that again. I promise."

I wouldn't make that mistake again. I _was_ capable of learning from my mistakes. Besides, it wasn't like I'd wanted to get kidnapped; it had just sort of worked out that way.

"How long will it take for you to heal?" Jacob asked, not mentioning my promise.

I shrugged and winced when pain shot through my shoulder. "Carlisle said a few days. Maybe a week. Whenever I get my strength back."

"Did they…" Jacob bit his lip. "Did they do anything else to you?"

I could tell by the sound of his voice what he was talking about. He meant had I been forced into anything sexual. It wasn't surprising that he asked. My pants were torn and I no longer had my own shirt. God, I didn't want to upset him further, but I didn't want to lie either. So…

"Alec, the vampire Michael killed…um…"

Jacob grabbed onto my shoulder tightly without thinking and I cried out. He'd probably forgotten about that since he was waiting for what I was going to say. But when I voiced my pain he immediately let go.

"He tried. He didn't. That was, um…why I had Michael's shirt on. Mine was pretty much a goner. I tore Alec's arm off if that makes you feel any better. Other than…_that_, that wasn't what they wanted."

Well, that was enough information about that, though Jacob didn't seem to appreciate that I was trying to lighten the situation or make it less than it was, but that's how I dealt with things. Was it healthy? Probably not. But it was what it was.

Jacob brought his fingers to my neck and caressed once more. "I want Carlisle to take another look at you, but then when we get home we're gonna have to talk about what happened, okay?"

I nodded without complaining because I owed Jacob that much at least. I owed it to him to make sure I was really okay.

* * *

After Carlisle had given me a clean bill of health he sent us on our way. He'd said I'd be sore for a few days, which I'd already known and I should take it easy for a while. He meant live like a human. No fighting vampires, no running at full speed, no exerting myself at all.

I rode on Jacob's back again and it was still uncomfortable. It only took a few minutes to get home, though he seemed to be slower than he usually was.

He dropped me off at the edge of the woods and then he changed, this time _not_ right in front of me. Apparently his manners had come back.

"Come on, Crys. Let's get you inside," Jacob said after he was fully dressed. Or as fully dressed as he usually was.

I moved slowly because just about every spot on my body hurt. Jacob kept looking at me like he thought I might fall over, which was actually a very real possibility. I was tired and hurt and I just wanted my body on a bed and my head on a pillow. Oh, and a change of clothes and a shower; I couldn't forget that.

When we got inside I was surprised to see that Paul, Rachel and Rebecca were there. Paul and Rachel were sitting together and Rebecca was sitting on the floor away from them. She was glancing back and forth between Paul and Rachel. Did that mean she knew about them?

"Crys, you're back!" Rachel said, jumping up from the couch and running over to me.

I braced myself for the impact, but, thankfully, she was stopped before she plowed into me.

"Easy, Rach. She's hurt," Jacob said. "Bad."

I looked his way gratefully, but he just turned his head away. Okay, so I'd screwed up royally, but, come on, he could at least look at me. Unless he was just paying me back for semi-ignoring _him_ earlier. I might actually be able to understand that.

"Paul, stay here with the girls. I'm gonna go meet up with the rest of the pack who are still with the other girls. Crys-"

"They're still alive?" Paul asked.

"Crys can fill you in. I've really gotta go."

"Wait," I said. "I wanna come with you." The girls were my responsibility now.

"No," Jacob said firmly. "You're staying here."

"But -"

"Crys, you're stayin' here. Don't argue. If you try and follow me I will tie you to a tree."

I blinked a few times. Tie me to a tree? That was a little much, wasn't it? And since when did Jacob tell people what to do? Since when did he tell _me_ what to do?

"Look, we'll talk later, a'right? I won't be gone too long."

I nodded and bit my lip and grabbed his arm.

"Wait. You should know something first. There's a girl. Lindsey. She…She's fed, Jacob. She's strong like me. If the girls - potentials - feed, they become strong like me."

"Did _Michael_ tell you that?" Jacob asked, pronouncing Michael's name like it was the dirtiest word ever.

"No. I fought her. Well, choked her. I wanted to kill her," I admitted softly, not knowing how Jacob would take that.

"Was…she uncontrollable?"

I could tell he was wondering what would make _me_ want to kill a human. Granted, that was a good question because until I'd met Lindsey I'd never wanted to kill a human - and whether Lindsey was a murderer or not she was still human. But now, with her, I'd been determined to kill her.

"No, she was pretty controlled, but -"

"So you're just gonna kill humans now?" Jacob interrupted.

"If you would let me _finish_," I snapped. "I don't just kill people, Jacob, you know that!" I was actually hurt that he would think otherwise. I thought he would know better. "She…she was here. She was one of the one's looking for me. She's…She killed Billy, Jacob. _That's _why I wanted to kill her."

Jacob's face hardened more than it already was and he started shaking and backing away from me. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I didn't want to tell you that, but seeing as to how we argued because of _you_ not telling _me_ something I figured it would be hypocritical not to tell you and -"

Jacob flew out the front door so fast he was almost a blur. That was so not good. But really, what had I expected? Billy hadn't been my dad and _I'd_ wanted to kill her, so Jacob…

"Jacob!"

Then _I_ moved so fast, my body protesting the whole time, and as I threw myself off the front porch I saw Jacob phase and his shorts exploded and hit the ground in little pieces.

"Jacob!"

I didn't care that he'd threatened to tie me to a tree if I followed him because I _had_ to follow him. I had to reach him before he did something he'd regret.

When he realized I was following him, which didn't take too long, he stopped and turned around and huffed impatiently. Translation was probably "Can't you do what I ask without arguing just once?"

Which was actually a little funny because usually I did whatever he asked, anyway, no arguing, or even discussing, because he always knew what I needed, sometimes even before I did.

"I know, I know, you're gonna tie me to a tree. But I had to tell you - _ask_ you - not to kill her. I mean, I know that - that she's no better than a vampire, but she's _not _one. If you kill her…it'll destroy you. It's not who you are and I don't wanna lose you."

I walked forward and placed my hands around his neck - only because he leaned down and let me.

"I love you. Don't let her turn you into a killer. Please?"

As I stood there holding onto him my knees began to shake and everything became…darker, like it was fading out. My vision, my hearing, everything seemed farther away.

"Oh, Jacob, I don't…"

I didn't get to finish my thought because that was when my body decided it had had enough and it gave out on me. My world faded out completely.

* * *

When I woke up I half expected to be back in the cold, rotting, dungeon thing I'd been in before Jacob had come for me, but when I opened my eyes I was in his room and he was sitting by the bed.

"Jacob." My voice was weak and it cracked a little.

"Crys?" God, he sounded so…tired.

"Mm." I found it too hard to speak and I realized my throat was swollen from when Felix had tried to choke me to death.

My eyes landed on Jacob and I took him in - _really_ took him in - for the first time since he'd found me. He was actually pale; his skin didn't hold the natural sun-kissed tone it normally had. His eyes had dark rings around them like he hadn't had any sleep. And he looked…thinner for some reason, which explained the boniness while he was a wolf. Had he not been taking care of himself?

_No, because he was too worried about me_, I told myself.

"Crys, you gotta stop doin' things like that. You can only scare me so many times before my heart's bound to give out. Ya know?" There was relief as well as leftover worry coating his voice.

"How long have I…" I had to swallow around the dryness of my mouth. "Been out?"

"A few hours. Hold on, I'll go get your some water."

He was out and back in about fifteen seconds. I held the cup myself and began gulping, but Jacob drew the glass away quickly.

"Drink slower or you're gonna make yourself sick."

So I began sipping instead - I didn't care how slow I had to drink it, I just wanted it. I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since I'd been gone, save for a couple sips of water the day after I'd been taken.

"Did you…" How could I put what I wanted to ask? _Did you kill her? Did you let her live? Did you rip her head off?_ All those questions seemed rude. "Is Lindsey still alive?"

Jacob clenched his jaw at the reminder. "Yes."

"Are the girls here?"

"Yes. Seth, Leah and Embry got here with them about thirty minutes after you passed out."

"You didn't go? You didn't go to them?"

"I couldn't." He shook his head, but he moved so fast it was almost a jerk instead. "Not without knowing you were okay. Besides, you _asked_ me not to, and you were right. I'm not a killer. And as much as she deserves it, _I_ can't be the one to punish her. Like you said, it would destroy me. It would make me like _her_, and I don't want that."

"Thank you," I said, reaching out a hand for him and he let me slide my fingers through his.

We sat there silently and I began going over everything that had happened since the bonfire, since before the argument, and I shuddered guiltily.

"Jacob, I'm really sorry about everything. Arguing with you over Michael, leaving when I knew the Volturi was after me, getting kidnapped, worrying you. Everything. And I know you're probably still angry and I deserve it, but whenever you're ready…I'd rather you treat me like glass, okay?"

A small grin spread across his face and he nodded once. "Yeah, okay."

"I love that you wanna take care of me, and I shouldn't have made you feel otherwise. I love sweet, adorable Jacob and I will accept no substitutes."

"Uh-huh. Well, _I _love smart, sensible Crys, okay? Not the suicidal one who takes off on her own. Okay? _Please_, don't do that again."

"I won't." I sipped my water again before continuing. "What're we gonna do? About the girls?"

Before I had even finished Jacob was shaking his head. "I have no idea, but we'll figure something out. We always do."

* * *

As the night went by Jacob became kind of…sluggish. His movements were slow and they looked kind of labored. He looked like he was about to fall over from exhaustion, but he still made sure I was okay before he even thought of relaxing himself.

"Jacob, you need to rest, too. I can see you haven't been sleeping or eating. You need to do both." I felt guilt wash over me for making him worry so much. "If I need anything I'll wake you up, I promise."

Or I would call on Rachel or Paul or even Rebecca. Or I would do it myself; I was hurt, not paralyzed.

"At least just lay down. I mean, you look like your body's about ready to give out. I know I put you through a lot, but you need to sleep." _Because_ I had put him through a lot.

"You did put me through a lot," he said bluntly. "But it's not just…you. A lot of things happened while you were gone."

I could tell by his tone that he didn't like the way things had happened. I _knew_ he didn't like what had happened to me, and I was angry at myself for leaving him and letting myself get kidnapped. I was angry at myself for letting an argument make me lose my common sense, make me lose my focus. I hadn't even heard that Seth had been following me that day. And I hadn't been able to feel that those vampires - the Volturi - were there. Granted, I could never really _sense_ them, per se, but it was usually easy for me to tell when I was in danger. It was sort of a sixth sense I'd developed over time.

Before I knew it, I was sobbing - _again_ - which wracked my body and sent pain shooting through it, which caused me to cry harder. It had just hit me that what Jacob and Carlisle had said was so very true.

"I could…I could've died." I could've died a slow, painful, bloody death and I would've deserved it for how stupid I'd been.

I placed a hand over my mouth to try and hold in the hiccup-sounding cries that were spewing forth. I didn't want to be crying again.

Sudden movement made my head snap toward Jacob. He was pacing almost furiously back and forth in the short distance his room provided. He almost reminded me of a caged animal in a zoo.

I drew my knees up and wrapped my arms around them. I placed my head on top.

"Son. Of. A. Bitch."

Jacob had said it slowly, syllable by syllable, drawing it out. It almost made me laugh. It wasn't a good laugh, it was one of those laughs one has when they don't know what else to do. When one has to laugh because they don't want to cry anymore.

Jacob sat beside me and said, "Well, move over then."

I looked up at him with what had to be a red face or splotchy might be a better word. "What?"

"I'll lay down with you, but you've gotta move over."

I ended up huddled in his arms, trying to stop crying and failing miserably. His scent was still getting to me, but I _knew_ I wouldn't hurt him that way.

"You make it really hard for me to stay mad at you," he said softly. "It's not fair."

"No, it's not. You have every right to be angry."

Things were silent for about a minute but then Jacob asked, "Crys…did you leave because of me?"

He thought _he'd_ done something to cause me to leave?

"Was it because of how I acted?"

Fury built up inside me and I pushed myself off of him. Anger had stopped my tears, thankfully. I wondered how long he'd been wondering that.

"_Don't_. Don't you blame yourself for this. I made the decision to go so I'm just gonna have to deal with the consequences. I'm gonna have to deal with the fact that you're gonna be angry and hurt because of something I've done. I'm gonna have to accept the fact that my relationship with Michael was made up of lies, but I did _not_ leave because of something you did."

My voice had risen a little and I took a deep, calming breath. I shouldn't have gotten mad at him. I knew how he thought and that this had maybe been his fault had probably been bothering him since the night I'd been taken.

"I mean, no, I don't like that we were arguing, but every couple argues. I'm _never_ gonna like it, I'm never gonna like fighting with you. And I don't appreciate how you treated me, but I understand it."

"I won't ever treat you that way again," Jacob promised. "I shouldn't have done it in the first place."

Jacob had sit up with me when I'd jerked away from him. It was probably a reflex reaction. I placed my hands on Jacob's warm shoulders; it was kind of a salve for what could have been taken as rejection before. Jacob knew my left arm was still hurting even though it had been put back into place, so he brought that arm back down and held my hand instead.

Suddenly I knew I needed more contact than that. His eyes held confusion, but not for long. My eyes must have conveyed what I wanted because he chewed on his lip for a second, debating. I wanted - _needed_ - some kind of connection. After being gone for so long I just…I needed _him_ in some shape, way or form.

So I leaned into him and kissed him. It was really just…a bare brush of lips on lips. His mouth was warm and soft but firm. I felt his shoulders relax slightly as if my touch was easing away the days of tension he'd been through.

When I began to draw away he made a little sound of discontent so I came back, kissed him again. This one was less about comfort and more about need. His tongue touched my lower lip, asking for entrance.

For the first time in a while…Jacob was unsure how I would take him. Would I accept what he was offering? Even though I knew I shouldn't, I opened for him without much provocation.

He let me lead since I would know my limitations with the state I was in. But the way he was kissing me made me feel like…like I was the best thing in the world; the most important thing in the world; the _only_ thing in the world to him.

_That's because you are_, some weird me-like voice said in my head

Here, now, I felt safe and cherished and…worshipped? Jacob was worshipping me with his mouth. Every movement, every caress…he was doing for _me_. It was what he always did. Based his life around me.

It had really affected him, my being gone. No, my being _kidnapped_. There was a big difference. It shouldn't have surprised me that he was so affected by it; he'd explained to me even before the kidnapping incident that we were so connected that if anything were to happen to me it would almost surely kill him. I was _the one_ for him. I was it.

It was both flattering and terrifying at the same time; I'd proven how dangerous it was for me to have that power over him.

We both broke away, breathing heavily, and I was glad to see that some of the anguish he'd been feeling earlier had faded from his face. He'd needed that just as much as I had.

He ran his fingers gently over the bruises on my arms and on my neck. It was like he was trying to take away the ache of it. Or maybe he was trying to soothe me, because I finally noticed I was shivering. I was cold, freezing even. I curled into his side, trying to soak up the warmth emanating from him, but it didn't seem to work.

"You're goin' into shock," Jacob said, grabbing onto my hands and rubbing them together.

_Was_ I going into shock? Was the sobbing what had started it? Or had that just been the onset? I thought going into shock was when one's body shut down and they couldn't take anything in. Mine was the complete opposite; I was taking everything in.

It was too much, and I was sure the only reason I hadn't gone into shock before was because I'd been focused on Jacob.

"Just wait here, okay? You need to eat something," Jacob said, and I was only vaguely aware that I _was_ hungry. I hadn't eaten anything since I'd been taken. "I'll be right back."

* * *

Jacob had fixed me a sandwich with extra everything. Meat, mayo, tomato, lettuce, cheese. He'd made sure I was still sipping on a drink; this time it was soda instead of water. For the sugar, I guessed.

He was eating too, thankfully. Not as much as he normally did, but it was still a lot.

"So…earlier you said it wasn't just me, that a lot happened while I was. . .away." I nibbled on the edge of the bread. "What happened? Did someone get hurt?"

"No, not really. After our. . .argument, and after I took off, I went back to the beach. No one was there and I just wanted to go there and think. Seth kept watch - and I swear I didn't tell him to; he did it himself." He grinned softly, which made my own lips form a smile. "I knew you were waiting on the porch for me to come back, so of course that made me stay away longer."

That sounded like something I would do.

"Seth stayed until you went back inside. He, um, assumed you were goin' to bed, I guess. That's when I headed home. I had every intention of sleeping on the couch, by the way. Even then I knew I shouldn't have treated you that way."

Jacob looked like he was gathering his thoughts together, so I chewed on a piece of juicy tomato.

"When I got home and found your note, I have to admit that I didn't freak out too bad. I was angry 'cause you _just left_ but -" Jacob rolled his eyes "- I can't believe I'm getting ready to say this, but I thought you would be safe with Michael. No, I didn't trust him, but he had never done anything to make me think he'd hurt you." Then he looked me over briefly and stiffened. "He didn't, right? None of those bruises came from him?"

"No. He, um. . . He hit me at the apartment building -"

"He hit you?" Jacob growled out and I sighed.

"Yes, but not enough to hurt, and only because I hit him first."

"Okay, that is such a schoolyard defense," Jacob said, and I smiled again.

"I said basically the same thing. Anyway, go on."

"Right. Well, I didn't know anything was seriously wrong until one of the others called me. Or just howled, actually. It, uh, got my attention. That's when I realized Seth had followed you. He just said he thought he should."

Jacob shrugged, but I could tell there was something more than what he'd said on his mind.

"I saw the fight. What Jane did to you. And after. . .you just . . .gave yourself up. Why would you do that?"

I could hear the anger coming back into his voice and I realized that _that_ was what had him so upset in the first place. He'd seen through Seth's eyes me telling Michael to send Seth away. I'd given myself up to keep Seth safe.

"I knew what they were going to do to him and I couldn't let him get hurt," I said in way of explanation.

"Oh, but me getting hurt was okay?" Jacob's voice was tired but hard. "I mean, you had to know we were coming for you, right? We started coming for you as soon as I saw it in Seth's head.

"Well. . ." Right. Friggin' pack telepathy. "I didn't remember the whole pack mind thing. I forgot so, no, I didn't know you were coming."

We hadn't really talked about that since the first discussion about it and, aside from the safety of the pack, I didn't really try to understand the dynamics or whatever. But now, looking back, remembering or relearning the pack telepathy thing, I understood why Jacob had called me brainless. It had sort of slipped my mind.

"I didn't think . . .I didn't think I had a choice," I whispered, looking down at the mattress.

"Between fighting and giving up?" Jacob scoffed. "You always have a choice in that. You just picked the wrong one."

Rage flared up in me again for the second time in less than an hour.

"Okay, so I made a mistake! I'm sorry, Jacob. I guess I'm not perfect. But I never claimed to be. I'm gonna do things you don't agree with, that you're not gonna like, just like you're probably gonna do things I'm not gonna agree with or like. Now, yes, this decision I made was stupid, like you so graciously pointed out earlier, but. . .even knowing what I know now . . .even if I'd known you were coming . . .I would've made the same call because I _know_ what they would've done to Seth. I would've fought harder, but I still would've had Michael send him away. I know that's not what you wanna hear, but it's true."

The fire had gone out of my speech about midway through and now I was speaking softly.

"I know I'm not a wolf, but the pack is as much my family as is it yours. And that means that I'll do anything to keep them safe."

"Obviously," Jacob seethed, but then he sighed and softened. "I don't know whether I should be pissed at you or proud of you. You did what a leader would've done. You did what I would've done if it had been me tryin' to protect you." He shook his head. "I guess we're evenly matched. While you were. . .away. . .Sam and I had a fight. I won. I'm Alpha now. Didn't really want it, but. . .he was trying to keep me from doing something stupid and goin' after you without knowing everything."

So. . .evenly matched? Did that mean he saw _me_ as a leader too? Because I so was not in-charge-chick. I'd just gotten my ass kicked, I didn't feel like the leader of anything.

"I didn't like you risking your life though, and please don't do it again."

I shook my head and said one of the worst things I could've said to him. "I'm expendable, Jacob."

He literally growled and glared at me. I actually almost shrunk away from him. If he had been anyone else he would've scared the hell out of me.

"You're not expendable. Who the hell put that thought in your head?" He fisted his hair like he was frustrated. "Do you really think you don't matter? Honestly, I need to know, because you, right now, are driving me up the fucking wall."

He was yelling at me now and I winced when he cursed because it reverberated through the room. He was shaking now and I was wondering whether I should get out of the room or not because this was a small space and wolf-Jacob would crush me.

"I've never had to worry about coming home to someone who. . . Well, just someone. I've never had to worry about anyone missing me if something were to . . . I didn't mean to hurt you, Jacob. That was the last thing I wanted. And I . . .that's just who I am."

"Well, then we have a serious problem, because I don't wanna lose you," he said firmly.

* * *

Uh. . . a little cliffhanger thing. I hate those, but this was fifteen pages on my computer and 28 hand-written pages. My hand hurts. LOL. Anyway, again about Jacob's POV on this story. I'm gonna continue writing it regardless of whether I post it, and if I do post it, it'll be under a different name because it'll be this complete story only in Jacob's POV. And also, did I get his reaction right? Because I know he WOULD be mad, but would be able to stay mad at her with her freaking out like she was? I mean he hated doing anything ot upset Bella, and she wasn't even his imprint, so...anyway, review please.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

_Well, then we have a serious problem because I don't wanna lose you_.

That was the last thing Jacob had said before he planted himself against the dresser; he stood there with his arms crossed defiantly. God, I didn't know how to deal with him when he was like this. Angry, bitter, sarcastic. He'd only been that way with me once before and that had been when we'd argued. I hadn't known how to deal with him then either.

Jacob's body sort of deflated as his anger faded. Then he was by the bed standing right in front of me. He place his hands on either side of my face and he stared at me intensely.

"Okay. Obviously, we have work to do on your self-preservation skills." His voice was less angry now. "And your lack of self-worth leaves a lot to be desired. But, Crys, you should remember that even if you don't care what happens to you…I do. _You _may not care whether you live or die…but _I do_."

He'd been leaning closer and closer and now I could feel his breath on my lips. My eyes fluttered shut on their own and I moved my head just-so so we'd have the perfect angle and then there was contact. Sweet, blissful, contact. It was brief but loving.

"You're not expendable," he whispered. "You're essential. So _please_ before you do anything like that again think of what I said. If not for your sake than for mine."

I nodded because I knew next time - hopefully there wouldn't be a next time - I _wouldn't_ make the same mistake. I just didn't know where _we_ were going to go from here, how we were going to get past this.

* * *

The next morning when I woke up I could barely move; I felt even worse than I had the day before. It didn't matter, I knew once I took a shower I'd feel better. Not stronger, but better.

Jacob hadn't slept in the bed, he'd slept _by_ the bed. If I had felt better I would've joked about him _not_ being a dog. The only reason I knew he hadn't slept beside me was because I almost fell over him when I attempted to stand up. I _would_ have if Jacob hadn't been waking up himself and had managed to maneuver me to land on him.

"Oof!' we both breathed out as my body came into contact with his.

"Oh, thanks for the save," I said, biting my lip to keep from laughing or crying out from the jolt of pain that rocked through me - I wasn't sure which I wanted to do more.

"Anytime," Jacob said. "Um…this is an interesting wake up call."

"Mm." I blushed. "Yeah. Right. Talk about falling for a guy, huh?"

Jacob was fighting back a smile and I knew my worries from the night before had been for nothing. We could fix things, make things good again.

I leaned my head down and kissed the hollow of his throat. That was a bad, bad idea. His scent assaulted me, but I didn't bite. I, however, _did_ growl. I stiffened against him because _I had growled_. I had never done that before.

"Uh, Crys…what was that?"

"Um…nothing. I didn't mean to do that." I moved my lips up his neck to his chin. "Forget about it."

"Since when do you growl?" He obviously was _not_ going to forget about it.

"Um…now. I guess. It'll probably stop once I get my strength back. You just…um…I've been thirsty since last night. Thirsty for you."

I had expected him to at least look surprised - jump, gasp, push me away or something - but I didn't get a reaction. Maybe he didn't want to hurt me by telling me to leave now. I tried getting up, but Jacob wrapped an arm around my waist firmly so I couldn't move.

"Where're you goin', Crys?"

"I just…I didn't think you'd want to be around me if you knew that." Vampire connotations and all that.

"You haven't tried to bite me yet. I think I'm safe."

"Yeah, but I wanted to. Badly." I swallowed nervously; I didn't really feel comfortable telling my boyfriend that I kind of had the urge to eat him. Drink him? "You and…Lindsey. I got so mad I almost…"

"If it wouldn't change you, it wouldn't be much of a loss if you had," he said.

"Right." I tried getting up again and this time he let me. He could obviously tell I didn't want to talk about this right now. "I have to take a shower."

"Wait. Um…Rachel and Rebecca know everything. You don't have to pretend with them anymore."

I had sort of figured that out with how he'd talked about the girls in front of his sisters. _And_ with how Rachel had reacted when she'd seen me.

"How did that happen?"

"Um, me. I kind of phased right in front of them. They were okay after a while. Becca took it better than Rachel, but they're okay now."

"Okay, um…guess that's good. How else would I explain all my bruises?" I reached the door before stopping and turning back around. "We're gonna be okay, right? I mean, we'll be able to go back to the way things were before I…did that. Right?"

Jacob smiled softly. "Yeah. It'll take time, but we'll get there."

"Good."

* * *

After the shower I felt cleaner, but not better exactly. I still hurt everywhere. When I'd undressed I'd realized that almost every inch of my body was discolored. I _was_ a walking bruise.

When I was redressed I went back to the bedroom and took the bed sheets off. My blood was on them so it was my responsibility. What awaited me in the kitchen was fairly amusing.

Jacob was cooking with three little girls; one was Melody, the girl I'd sort of bonded with at the warehouse. The other two I didn't know their names, but I recognized them. The girls had flour in their hair and on their cheeks and…Jacob was wearing an apron.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Jacob was in an _apron_; a pink and white one.

"What're you doing?" I asked

"Uh, cooking," Jacob said. "And keeping these three preoccupied." He eyed the sheets I was holding and asked, "What're _you_ doing?"

"Um…laundry," I said. Obviously that's what I was going to do.

"You're not supposed to be doing anything like that," Jacob reminded me.

"Actually, Carlisle said I wasn't supposed to do anything a human wouldn't do. Humans wash clothes all the time."

"Yeah, but, _you_ should rest. You got you're a - uh - butt kicked and you need to recuperate."

"I will, okay? I will be lazy and I'll let you wait on me and take care of me. Just let me put these in the washer."

True to my word, I lazed around the rest of the day. I let Jacob do his nurturing thing, and Melody hardly ever left my side. She was a sweet little girl. Not very talkative. She was probably too traumatized to.

The other two hung with Jacob more. I got that. Jacob was sweet and fun and playful. He could also turn into a huge wolf, which was awesome if you were nine years old.

Rachel went to help Paul with his three girls - we'd spread the girls out among the pack; Jacob's decision because he was good, but he could not take care of twenty little girls by himself.

Rebecca was cool about everything. She'd obviously paid attention when Billy had told the tribe's stories when she was little. She'd had a minor freak out and then she was fine.

Jacob looked better than he had the night before, more rested. Also since I'd told him the real deal behind me having pushed him away the night before it was easier to control my thirst. I had thought he'd be mad or disgusted, but he just took it in stride.

I realized I'd been stupid not to tell him in the first place. He'd turned into a giant wolf when he wasn't even an adult yet without knowing what the hell was going on and he'd handled that _okay_ after he realized it was just a part of him. And this, _this_ was a part of me now. A part that hopefully would lessen when I got my strength back.

Point was he wasn't mad or disgusted. He just made sure whatever he did didn't set me off. Jacob and I weren't overly affectionate in front of the three girls; we both knew that seeing older people smooch was gross when you were young. Actually, the _idea_ of smooching, period, was enough to give a child the heebie-jeebies, so we just kept touches brief and not too physical.

It was hard not being _us_. We had had such an easy and open relationship that it sucked that it wasn't easy anymore. I got why and I knew it was my fault, but…I wanted it back to how it used to be.

* * *

The first two days passed by without incident. I could tell Jacob wanted to talk about what had happened again. Talk rationally, not yell or rant, but actually talk. I hadn't been too forthcoming with the details; I'd vague-d things up, but he needed to know about the Volturi's plans because what if they followed through.

We could only talk freely in the bedroom though, _that_ was the problem. I didn't want to talk about the power-hungry vampires plot for world domination around the girls. They didn't need to worry about that. If they were even old enough to _grasp_ the concept of world domination.

So when Jacob put the girls to bed that night I began the conversation with, "We need to talk." Usually not a great conversation opener, but there it was.

"Yeah, I know. Things have been festering and I wanna be fester-free."

I let out a huff of laughter because: what a way to say it, huh? He always did have a way with words.

"Okay, so…do you want me to go first, or…?"

"I think you should tell me what happened in your own words, and then I can ask questions if I have any."

"Okay." We sat on the bed like we had so many times before and talked like we had _so many times before_. "So, uh…I guess I'll start with Michael's. When I got there and what happened."

"Okay," Jacob agreed easily.

"'Kay. Well, after we…argued I waited for you to come back, but you already know that. So when you didn't, I took off. I swear I only wanted answers, Jacob. I didn't need him for anything else. I didn't go to him for comfort or anything else. I just - I needed to know what he was up to."

When it came to what I needed, or more precisely, _who_ I needed…I would always choose Jacob.

"Patrick and Elizabeth were there. That's the two other vampires that were with Michael. Beth, she…uh, do you remember that day I came home covered in vampire ash?"

"Yeah. You hurt your back. You used me as a heating pad." He grinned at the memory.

"Yeah." A small smile graced my lips because _this_ was us, this was as easy and as natural as putting one foot in front of the other. "Anyway, Michael…he was supposed to have taken care of her. He wasn't supposed to let her change, I didn't want a newborn runnin' around. Michael's been teaching her how to live off animals, so…I guess it's okay. I feel sorry for her, though. She was taken from her home. I think her parents reported her missing."

"Well, who took her?"

"Um, the vampire I killed that day. Anyway, Michael said the Volturi aren't just after me anymore. They want all the girls like me. I'm guessing so they can make them drink someone. It's, uh…" I shook my head, not really knowing what to say. "Um…Michael said it's genetic, what I am. My dad was a…carrier, I guess is the word, and he passed it on to me. It only takes affect with girls. That's how they've been finding the girls, through family trees. Anyway, I met with the girls and that's when Seth showed up and the Volturi. You know what happened while he was there."

Now onto the hard part: What happened after I woke up.

"When I woke up from Jane's…very unpleasant…talent she has…my hand were in shackles. It's not normal metal, even Michael couldn't break them."

"Alice told me that. She had a vision; that's how I knew where you were. Believe me, I didn't want to ask their help, but…it was you."

Enough said. He'd set aside his prejudices and his pride to find me. It couldn't have been easy for him to ask help from vampires.

I grabbed Jacob's hands in my own and continued. "I, um…I freaked out when I woke up. Yelled at Michael, cried, yelled at him some more. He told me the older girls - the…ones that are dead now - went with him, and he explained to them what they were. The younger ones, their parents…they don't have parents to go back to, Jacob. They're really alone."

My voice broke on the word alone because I was well aware how bad it felt to lose your parents at such a young age, how alone you feel because you're an orphan.

"They're not alone, Crys. They have us." There was a pause as Jacob let the words sink in and then, "Did…Michael…?"

I shrugged, understanding the unasked question. "I don't know. He says no, but…I can't trust him. Not anymore. He - he's lied too much. I-I can't -"

Tears were trying to make their way out of my eyes, but I didn't want to cry about Michael in front of Jacob, but…

"To his credit, he did get captured because of me, _for_ me. I just…I don't think I can…have him in my life anymore."

Jacob didn't say anything, he just squeezed my hand gently, encouraging me to go on. I knew he was probably rejoicing inside for me not wanting Michael to come back, but he wouldn't let it show because he also knew that I had cared for Michael and his betrayal had hurt me. Nothing that hurt me was good in Jacob's book, no matter whether it was a vampire or not.

"Um…Marcus…he was different from the start. Not so buckets of crazy."

Jacob grinned at that a little and the tension from thinking about Michael left me.

"But the other two - the other two are _insane_. They're plotting world domination. Jacob, they're crazy enough to pull it off. They want the girls to help with the humans. Probably use them as cattle."

"That's…" he trailed off like he didn't know what to say.

"Yeah. And then there was Lindsey. I wanted to kill her, Jacob. I _could_ have. I had my hands around her neck and all I could think about was snapping it."

I hated telling him that. Jacob was so…sweet and innocent and he shouldn't have to hear about his girlfriend's new killer instincts, because that's what they were.

"Crys, why're you…saying all this?"

"Because I've never felt that way before. It scared me, kind of made me sick when I thought about it. But what if that's a part of me now? What if the Volturi got what they wanted? What if I'm less human now?"

"You haven't fed, Crys. And you were angry, that's all it was. I mean, I reacted to her kind of violently too, remember? She just has that effect on people."

"Right. But she has us at a disadvantage. She's crazy and she'll kill people. We won't."

"Lindsey is with Leah; she won't let Lindsey hurt anyone."

Leah…well, I hadn't spent much time with Leah, but she did seem like the 'shoot first, ask questions later' type. Maybe Lindsey needed someone like that to keep her in line. I just hoped that if Leah _did_ happen to do something without thinking that she wouldn't destroy herself in the process.

"Okay, so…onto a happier note," Jacob began, because apparently there was just too much tension in the room - and not the good kind either, "Seth imprinted on Michelle. It's almost sickening. They're both so bubbly and…I don't know, it's like they're running through the field picking daisies."

I smiled widely. "Well, as long as they're happy, it doesn't matter. _You_ can be a little lovey-dovey yourself," I reminded him. "Besides they'll stop after the honey-moon phase wears off. They just found each other."

"Yeah. Seth hasn't actually told her about the imprinting yet, but at least she already knows about the werewolf business. I think she thinks it's neat."

"Hm…" A sudden but brief fear overtook me. "Oh, God, am I gonna have to give her the talk? I don't think I can do that. I mean, I'm not exactly an experienced person, ya know?"

"You're not gonna have to worry about that for a while. Seth has a very simple, innocent way of looking at things. He doesn't see her that way; she doesn't see him that way. And you know it won't go in that direction unless she wants it to. Seth's a good kid."

"Right. Um…these girls…they need their stuff." That thought had just come to me when he'd brought up Michelle. "The stuff from the apartment. Clothes and…stuff. I've been thinking we should go. You and me and a few others."

"Yeah, I know, I've been thinking the same thing - we'd have to leave Melody and the other two with Emily or Kim or something. We can't take them with us."

The other two were Brianna and Dawn. They were closer to Jacob and they listened very well. Jacob wasn't a disciplinarian and he was always sweet and gentle with the girls; they liked him. Probably had little crushes on him, too.

Jacob though…he was a natural with them. Me? Not so much. I wasn't comfortable with my leadership thing. If that's what this was. I hadn't officially introduced myself to all the girls yet. Granted, I had a perfectly good excuse for not leaving the house much. I'd been healing, which for the most part was almost complete.

My bruises had faded and the pain had reduced. My throat still burned with thirst whenever I got mad, but it didn't react to Jacob's proximity anymore.

"So we should take Leah and Lindsey with us," I said. "Leah because I think she'd understand why we need to go, and Lindsey because she can't stay here without someone that can control her. And maybe Seth and Michelle. Michelle can help. She - she was with the girls, she'll know what they liked, whose stuff was whose. She knows more about them than I do."

God, Michelle knew more about the girls than I did. That…that couldn't be right. If the girls were supposed to be under my leadership - or whatever - I needed to get to know them. _They_ needed to get to know _me_. I didn't want them to just follow me blindly. I wanted to earn their respect and their trust.

"Jacob?" I bit my lip nervously and winced a little when my skin broke.

"Hm?"

"What if I can't do it? What if I can't cut it with these girls? They're just…they're so young. They're gonna expect me to be like a leader and do certain things or know certain things, but I'm just _me_ and -"

I was cut off by Jacob pressing his lips to mine. A rude but welcome interruption because I had been close to a freak out. It didn't take too long for me to fall into the kiss and then I was wrapping my arms around his neck and playing with his hair. I loved his hair; it was so soft.

Jacob's breath hitched and I was glad I wasn't the only one who had a hard time remembering to breathe. And God, this felt good. We hadn't been this close for a while and it was like coming home. This was a little piece of heaven on earth, it had to be. Because nothing else could make me feel this way. Nothing could even come close.

I began exploring his chest through his shirt, damnable thing that it was. It was a sin for him to be fully clothed, I was sure. I was making it a law then and there that if we were alone he would never have a shirt on. I'd be sure to mention that after this was over. Whatever _this_ was going to turn out to be.

I knew I wanted skin on skin contact, so I began unbuttoning his shirt - he'd taken to wearing them since we'd taken in three little girls. I paused after the third button to see if he had any objections, but when he didn't say anything I continued. When it was undone I pushed it off his shoulders and it fell to the bed.

Encouraged by my own actions, Jacob began his own exploration. One hand found it's way beneath my shirt and to my breasts. The only thing in the way was a bra. He let out a groan and began caressing.

His lips slid down my neck and I took in much needed oxygen. My stomach had already caught up with our actions and a slow heat was beginning to build. When Jacob's hand found my bare thigh - thanks to my bed-time boy shorts - I bit my lip because I knew now what we were reaching toward. And I wanted to, I did, but there was something more that I wanted, too.

"W-wait," I said breathlessly. "I…um…"

He pulled away a little and removed his hand. "You don't want to?"

"No, I do. But I was wondering if…um…if I could touch you, too."

"You are touching me," he pointed out.

"I meant here." I grabbed at the belt loop of his jean shorts and pulled at the material. "Is it okay to touch you here?"

I paid attention to his face because a few different emotions flickered over it all in quick succession. _Want_, worry, uncertainty, and then want again. He took a few steadying breaths before nodding slowly.

"But if I tell you to stop then stop, okay?"

"Well, yeah, I'm not gonna force myself on you," I teased.

He smiled a little as I reassured him, and then with shaky hands I unfastened the button of his jeans. I was relieved as I began unzipping them, that he was wearing boxers; if I chickened out, he'd at least have some coverage. But…I didn't want to chicken out; I didn't want to be scared of that part of him. But I needed to become familiar with his, um…manhood. Yeah, I'd go with that word.

It was weird, but it had only just occurred to me that even with as fast as our relationship had grown, I'd never seen him below the waist. Well, _once_, but that didn't count because I'd covered my eyes right away. I knew from past experience that he was…big. I'd never seen, but I had felt, so I knew he was definitely well equipped. I also knew that even though we'd done some pretty intimate stuff, that it would be different if he was naked.

_Naked_.

"Your hands are shaking," Jacob observed. "If you changed your mind, I won't be mad, you know."

I hadn't changed my mind, I was just a little…self-conscious because I had never touched a guy like this before and I didn't know exactly what I was doing. And he was _Jacob_; I wanted to make him feel good and I didn't want to be clumsy about it.

I ran my fingers up and down the trail of hair that led from his belly button down to his happy place, though I stopped when I reached the waist band of his undone jeans.

Jacob was shivering from what I'd been doing and his breathing had already started to become heavier, but then a thought occurred to me and I stopped.

"Um…wait just one second."

I got off the bed to lock the bedroom door; I didn't want the girls coming in here for this. That would be embarrassing for everyone. I blushed before I turned back around.

Jacob had a small smile on his face. "Good idea."

He drew me into his arms and pulled me close to him. He began rubbing soothing circles over my back. He brushed his lips over mine. They lingered briefly and then I began kissing him deeper. I pulled him closer and his muscles tensed under my touch. His tongue sought mine and I let him in instantly. It was pretty much an automatic response on my part.

A current began flowing through me. It was almost like the kiss made a new heat begin down in my most private place, and with the heat came the courage I'd been lacking earlier.

I slid my fingers a few inches beneath Jacob's boxers. I was far enough down that I could feel the hair there. I held still for a minute because Jacob had frozen. He so wasn't used to being touched like this.

"Breathe, Jacob," I said, smiling against his lips. "Breathe."

He began panting and I began exploring again. Before I grasped his length I paused for just second.

"Tell me if I do something wrong, okay?" I repeated the words he'd said to me the first time he'd touched me intimately.

"Uh-huh. Just, _please_, Crys!" God, he was begging.

I answered his plea by wrapping my hand around his shaft, to which he jerked his hips into my grasp. His head fell onto my shoulder and he let out a soft and needy moan.

"It's okay," I whispered, loving the fact that he had to _get used to_ the feelings; that we would both have to learn with each other. "I've got you."

I began stroking the back of his neck soothingly, and then when he became accustomed to my touch he began touching me too.

"Can I take these off?" I asked, gesturing to his undone jeans and boxers. I didn't get a coherent response from Jacob, but he didn't protest so I removed my hand from his pants and slowly began lowering them.

Jacob practically whimpered at the loss of contact. "_Crys_, you're gonna kill me if you keep stopping."

"Sorry, but…you're gonna have to lift up," I said, semi-guiltily. "Unless you want me to rip the pants off of you."

"No. I rip enough pants as it is just by wolfing out."

So he did as I'd asked and I lowered the jeans, which he let me slip off completely. The boxers soon followed and his…cock…sprung free.

_Cock_. There. I'd said it. Or, well, thought it, anyway. The point was if I was going to be touching one, I should be able to think the name without blushing. The blush still came through when I grasped him again. He froze again at the initial contact, but he remembered to breath this time.

And now…_I_ had to remember to breathe because I was looking at Jacob naked. I had only caught a glimpse of Jacob Jr. before - the time I'd clapped my hands over my eyes - but um…he hadn't been excited at the time. Now, he was, and his cock - ha, thought it again - was standing proudly out of a thick patch of black hair.

I noticed that part of him was a shade darker than the rest of his skin, probably because all of his blood was flowing in that direction. When I began moving my hand more rhythmically Jacob let out a long low moan that sounded a little like the rumbly sound he made when he was in happy-wolf mode. It made me grin.

I began to really take in the size of him and I became a little intimidated. I wondered how it would feel when we finally became one. Would it hurt terribly or -

Jacob's hands landed on my hips and then he slowly began pushing my shorts down. I heard a rip and suddenly they were gone - like _gone_. Jacob had literally torn them off with his werewolf strength. I hadn't expected that so I let out a little gasp of shock

I didn't have time to really comprehend much except the fact that he was now touching me and everything was good. His fingers found my clit within seconds and I bucked against his hand. He'd learned the first time exactly how I liked to be touched. He massaged carefully, gently enough to drive me crazy with want, but he didn't do it for long. _Why was he stopping_?

"Jacob?"

He stopped my hand from moving up and down and I wondered if I had done something wrong. It hadn't seemed like I was doing anything wrong.

"Just wait for a few seconds," he said breathlessly. Before the sting of rejection - not that he was rejecting me, it just felt like it - could sink in, he continued, "I want to…"

_What_ did he want? I was open to almost anything. His fingers slid down to my entrance and I caught his gaze with mine. Apparently he hadn't wanted to _say_ what he wanted so he was showing me. I knew what he wanted now. I swallowed nervously, remembering how good it _hadn't_ felt when Alec had done what Jacob now wanted to do.

"Can I?" Jacob asked, waiting for my go-ahead.

Just like that, my slight fear went away because Jacob wasn't Alec; if Jacob hurt me, he'd stop.

"Yeah, just…be careful, Jacob."

The look he gave me was almost comical; it was like he was offended that I had even thought I had to remind him to be careful with this. He knew; of course he knew.

The tip of one finger slid in easily and he relaxed. I had a feeling he thought it would be harder than that.

Jacob flipped us so now he was on top and his fingers - there were two now - slipped in further. They only got so far, though, before he stopped and warned me it was going to hurt me if he pressed on. Friggin' virgin barriers and all that.

I didn't want him to stop though, best to take care of that now rather than later.

Jacob looked uncertain, but he did as I'd asked and continued. I knew this was going to hurt at least a little even if he _was_ just using his fingers because something inside me had to be broken. So I took a deep breath and held it until it was over.

The pain was sharp but brief, but my hips jerked away from the intrusion of their own accord. My eyes grew wet for a minute, but no tears fell over.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," Jacob said, stilling his fingers.

After I said I was okay Jacob began pumping the digits in and out solidly and I found it was…pleasant. Then he found this amazing spot inside me that made me want to scream. I almost did; would have if I hadn't covered my mouth with my hand. He'd found it by using a 'come hither' motion with his fingers and he kept hitting it over and over. I found it was a very good spot for him to abuse. He seemed a little smug that he was pulling these responses from me.

I started touching him too, after I realized that I'd totally forgotten to give Jacob Jr. the attention I'd begun earlier. Oops. I hoped what I was doing now was a good enough apology.

Jacob was barely able to hold himself up with one arm as we both began stroking faster. His head fell onto my shoulder and he latched his lips onto my neck.

Little sparks were going through me every time he hit the spot and then like he _knew_ I needed something a little extra, his thumb began flicking over my womanly bud. That was it for me and I clenched around his fingers, which set _him_ off. We both kept up our movements until the other was completely through. Jacob attempted to be loud, but I covered his mouth with mine to cut off the string of curse words that tried to make it past his lips.

It was just like the first time. There were no coherent thoughts for me. Actually, there was nothing at all because I was pleasantly numb. Everything had sort of faded out for a minute. The only thing I was aware of was that Jacob was having after-tremors - probably from the still new sensation of having an orgasm - and he'd almost collapsed on me. Not that I was complaining. He didn't have all his weight on me, and even if he had, I wasn't as fragile as I looked.

He began kissing every inch of my face he could get his lips on and I smiled softly.

"I love you," he kept saying between kisses before he moved .

Before I could say the words back I felt him tense.

"What?"

I looked at him and immediately saw the problem. My blood was coating his fingers. Oh…um…awkward conversation waiting to happen.

"Jacob that's completely normal. You didn't do anything wrong," I said. "And it didn't even hurt that bad. It was just a necessary evil."

"Well, yeah. I _knew_ you would bleed, I just hated causing it," he said, wrapping an arm around my waist, but then he said, "ew."

"What?"

Jacob blushed and grabbed his shirt. "Here, you're gonna need this." He bit his lip, flushing further. "I…made a mess…on your shirt."

I didn't care about that. It was just a shirt and the _mess_ was a part of Jacob, so it didn't bother me. It was still adorable that he was embarrassed about it, though. Maybe I should've told him it was a normal bodily function that didn't ever have to happen again if he was grossed out by it; I wondered how that would've gone over with him.

I still accepted his shirt, and when I had it on, Jacob said, "You should wear my shirts more often. In fact, I don't think you should wear anything else but my shirts from now on."

I giggled into his chest before I stood up. "I'll be right back. I'm gonna put my shirt in the wash real quick." When I made it to the door I turned back around. "Hey, Jacob? I love you too."

He smiled softly even though he looked like he was about ready to curl up and sleep, and when I returned he was already snoring softly.

* * *

Okay, so...what do you think? I know a lot of you are probably wondering when they're actually gonna have sex (LOL, perverts) but...anyway, this porn-y type scene was because I wanted to explore Crys's awkwardness about that and the newness that is still them. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. But not...too much. (Yup, I'm a pervert too)


	18. Explanation

Okay, so I know I haven't updated in a while, and I also know I'm not supposed to just have author notes on here, but I owe everyone who's been waiting an apology. Most of it is not my fault, however. I have been writing, but I haven't had a computer. I know the last time I updated anything was around November of last year so I'm going to give you guys a summary of my life since then.

1) My cousin who was recently married and had to move came to visit so I didn't write while she was here.

2) My other cousin moved in from December to January and again I didn't write much while she was living with me.

3) My mom had two surgeries - she's fine but still.

4) Then here is the main reason for the long delay. First, you all know my computer hates me, I've told you guys that over and over. But I got on one day and EVERYTHING was gone. My chapters for my stories, my icons on the desktop, everything. Then it wouldn't even go to the desktop. And then it wouldn't come on at all. Anyway, it's fixed for now and I'll be updating soon, probably within a week, I just have to type something up.

Anyway, I had emails about when I was going to update, so hopefully this clears things up. And I am so sorry you guys. Please don't hate me.


	19. explanation 2

Okay, here's another explanation. I know I've only been focusing on TVD lately, but that's because I actually have more chapters of that written. And in my last explanation I told you my computer crashed, which meant that I lost everything - my Supernatural stories, my Twilight stories . . .

That's why I haven't been updating Supernatural. I've been in the process of trying to get everything back together so I can continue.

That being said. I'm going to be rewriting Supernatural and Twilight because I want to do it in a different point of view. It used to be easier using a first person point of view, now it's not. Now it's easier using a third person point of view because I can do more than one point of view at a time.

I know that's probably not what you guys want to hear, but that's what I'm doing. I won't be changing anything too drastically because I like my story lines; I just want to be able to do different points of view.

I'm so sorry! And I'm going to buy a flash drive - or however many I need to fit my stories on there so I won't lose anything if my computer crashes again.


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